₦airaland Forum

mariahAngel:
Reignite your love.
Make her fall in love with you afresh. Awaken the passion in her.
Do things that you haven't done for her before. You love her, don't you?
Start with little things. Buy her romantic gifts: skincare sets, perfume... surprise her
Take her out spontaneously. Make her feel beautiful and special again, and I swear, she'll be killing herself to please you in no time.

Is anyone in doubt you are not a Nigerian lady?

askings:
Her reason is transportation fair

Yes, we all know that transportation isn't "fair" in Lagos. Is she older than you are? Did you marry her because of her position, money? Did you impregnate her before being forced to marry her? Was it an "arrangee" marriage? So many dots are not connecting here.

SmellingAnus:
it's easier to answer No than than the question you asked... Obviously you have... Just to prove to some persons that a man can be so nice and gives his wife everything she wants yet she can still cheat on him...

"Crass," "expedient," and "opportunistic" are some of the favourite and often repeated words of a Nairalandrer, who claims he has right to reject. Tell me who doesn't have the freewill to choose. Cheating is the least thing an emasculated man suffers in the hands of a "crass," "expedient," and "opportunistic" woman, because even if he gets to catch her right in the act, she will manipulate him as usual and make blame himself for being "insecure," or question his sense of judgment. If she can make her husband become an enemy to people who see through her games, imagine a scene where her husband is struggling to make sense of her manipulation. This is also called gaslight. Ladies are deft at using it to control and exploit men, and still posture themselves as hapless victims.

You can see how like-minded bimbos (someone actually used "blood-leaking mammals." No, no. That is borderline nasty) speedily lined up behind her, cheer her up, and howled aggressively at people who courageously picked holes at her discordant tales.

bcomputer101:
People like you is one of those reasons I still clamour for human sacrifice.

Well, I believe your sexual libido is high. Don't worry you will learn in a had way by the time ur kids reach one dozen and from different men.

You are a DOG

Haba! You are simply being too harsh on her. I couldn't find where you adviced her on how to manage this potentially dangerous and explosive situation. Instead, you decided to go ballistic, referencing her sexual escapades as similar to that of a "dog." And what about the men that got her pregnant? Any word for them? Would you also advocate that they be used for human sacrifice?

Miss Op, you have built a fake, shaky, and tenuous relationship based on a foundation of lie. If you dare push these lie and deceit into marriage, you will certainly have yourself to blame. The young man needs to know significant details of your past, especially as it concerns your kids. Hiding it from him does not make you smart. At best it makes you appear desperate, and at worst, it depicts you as a liar and a deceiver. So your best bet is to put a stop to this head-spinning, vicious tale and prepare yourself for a heartfelt confession. We know that single mothers suffer certain degrees of contempt and stigmatisation, yet it is better to be late than sorry.

And the fact that you weren't remorseful about what you have done, shows another unpalatable side of you.

We have to be careful before we describe a slave in the guise of a desirably good, non-Nigerian husband. The immediate commenter has practically turned her husband into a slave that, never opposes her, allows her to get away with almost everything, and will always take her side in dispute, even when she is wrong. The crowning accomplishment of it all is that he makes enemy to anyone who is not in the good books of his wife.This is not rational, even in the starry-eyed western standard.

The society has a respectable and dignified channel through which children are expected to come to the world. Anything contrary to this expectation is an aberration, which has profound consequences. This is because as the GateKeepers of creature, even when a lady is raped or deceived by a daredevil guy, she isn't completely spared of the odium and stigmatisation of the society, even from fellow women. Ideal? Far from it. Lived realty? Oh, yes.

It is usually aggravated -- as many of them are -- if she is poor, wretched, and unable to cater for her kid (s). Ladies who are wise have learnt these rules and upped their games. While the foolish and the inane ones vacillate aimlessly in the wilderness of entitlement, looking for whom to blame for their plight.

heendrix:
I broke no rule

get an Education girl it'll help ya

Yes, you haven't broken any known rule. It boggles the mind why they are crying wolf just to get you banned. Granted, you were a bit harsh with your choice of words, but it shouldn't attract a ban. Maybe because it was addressed to a girl, then, let the tractable mod succumb to their scheme.

It has become a tradition in this graveyard to bleat uncontrollably for the attention of the mods to ban a member, when someone's comment doesn't sit well with you. Pity!

DrFunmisticGlow:
i doubt i will. Most people won't, black Tuesday.

Government's insensitivity and lack of respect to the welfare of the citizens have been a part of our tradition for so long. We expect, with all that happened yesterday and today, a new and positive approach to the business of government. In any case it is good news seeing you move speedily from being a critic to an activist; let's just agreed that you are suffering insomnia.

DrFunmisticGlow:
you are still on this issue, not me.

Really? Ok, good night. I hope you will sleep well tonight.

DrFunmisticGlow:
*Rolls eyes*

I have no issues with women receiving praise, what i was shocked was the haughtiness of her replies. She says live with grace and speak with love. She didn't speak with love when someone insinuated that all other women were more foolish than she was by accepting that statement as a compliment

Granted she exhibited that sentiment, is your first reaction to her, which attracted my attention any different? No, it isn't. And that is precisely why we are still on this issue.

DrFunmisticGlow:
Are your eyes bloodshot?

Look at what I quoted. It was her self righteous reply to the other person. Not the message.

Ignorant people everywhere. I will not stoop to your level.

Levels are for those that have it; it is not for every dick and harry online. And it is one thing that you deeply lack. Your days of redemption aren't far anymore. Wait for it, patiently.

DrFunmisticGlow:
the post wasn't a put down on women but her self righteous replies to the praises she got is what i have a problem with. It came from a place of arrogance. That's how i knew she was self righteous. By het fruit you shall know her. And hers is rotten.

Come on, you were miffed and thrown off guard merely by the appreciative comments she received. Oh, you will certainly get better some day.

DrFunmisticGlow:
i call out BS when I see it. If you have a problem with that, then don't let me rain on your parade. You have your opinion, i have mine.

If there is anything closely related to BS, it is your lame and leperous attack on someone's opinion that is reflective of reality.

DrFunmisticGlow:
her replies to what others say above me, is how you seperate those that preach out of love and those that do it to feel better than others and out of self righteousness.

Blessed are the meek for they shall see God.

She is not meek when she seeks to put down other women for her self elevation

If you had reacted to her post in this way, I wouldn't have called you out. Even so, what makes you think she isn't meek or she is being hypocritically sanctimonious? I concur with what she wrote not because it is directed to the womenfolk, but because it is a statement of fact that is unassailable. It is difficult to tell someone the truth without harming their self-esteem one way or another. But a sensible person knows how to separate truth from vile attack and move on. The reason for your raging hostile and resentment is way beyond my comprehension.

And, quit the practice of hiding under the defence of women as a pretext to counter what is right. The post isn't a putdown on women.

DrFunmisticGlow:
you are just self righteous. Your fate shall be like the fig tree jesus spoke to

How is she self-righteous? Did she touch some nerves? Never mind, she wasn't aware of what you do before making the post. So it is inappropriate to call her names, just because you couldn't come to terms with what you do.

It is her father's government, after all. I will obviously suffer deep and immense psychic rupture if she and her hangers-on didn't flew in on one of the redundant jets at the Villa or Aso Rock, or wherever they are stationed. If FKK could embark on nationwide "official" visits and got angry, lost his cool just because a report enquired about the source of his finance for the trip; why won't the daughter of a WHOLE president of the largest black state on earth do the same, or even outdo that garrulous but highly intelligent fellow? Wasn't it clearly stated time and again that what a man can do, a woman... I am so, so interested and emotionally invested in her next port of call.

Chinnybaby190:
Your accusation is not fair. Do you have an idea of what is going on here? If all I do is for money, by now, I would have gone since.
My husband has no fault, but the load is too much for me.

If your husband has no fault, why are you threatening to leave him and your children now he is down? It might sound proper to some people that you dislike suffering and couldnt go through this rough patch with your husband, but the though of leaving your children behind resupposes/depicts your willing to seek a life of zero struggle/challenge. It might interest you to know that the grass is not always greener on the other side. "Look before you leap" is an English adage.

mosdii:
What are you then?
Hoeing is a natural phenomenon, in other words you are a hoe whether you like it or not.

Oga, calling her such an offensive name is as unnecessary as it is idiotic. What irks me the most is that her comment wasn't directed to you. And even if it was directed to you, must you descend so slow to "get" at her?

It simply doesn't make sense, and it calls into question the very range of your maturity. Imagine a random guy using such word on your loved ones, just because they believe there is no consequence for their conduct. What you have done is akin to lady calling very guy a fraudster because a lot of youths are neck deep into it. Even so, I think you deserve a ban as a corrective measure to preclude the repetition of this witless attitude.

Midadeola:
OK, this is getting interesting!

Why don't you say a thing or two about our discussion since it is "interesting" to you? Even though the statement wasn't written by me, I concede that I was sloppy and couldn't notice that error. However, I also noticed that my interlocutor couldn't write a comment without making a mistake, even though his knowledge of the language is pretty good.

I am surprised you are upset when you should be overwhelmed with immense joy for having a guy who is meticulous in the art of managing phone contact and identity. Has it ever crossed your mind that there might be Bilikisu Ikorodo; Bose Ojo, Yetunde Festac, or even Fatima Maryland? The young man, in my view, has brilliantly avoided identity conflict by rightly assigning you the proper identification tag. Imagine the psychic pain and discomfort it would cause if, for example, he intends to call Bilikisu Ikorodu, but ends up calling you that represents Ikeja. I am awed by the proper attention he gives to details.

See my dear, the above words were written with my tongue in cheek. It does not in any way represent the intention of your guy. And I don't believe you are being played because he saved your phone number on his phone contact with your name and place of residence. However, If you are not convinced that he harbours no ulterior motives, then call his attention to it and have him change it to whatever is it you prefer.

EleventhWeirdo:
Lol

You are also wrong. The statement, correctly, goes thus: If I were your father, I would cane you for uttering this.

Gracias

Lol
Your statement should be written thus: "The statement correctly goes: "If I were your father, I will cane you." As you can see, there is no need to put a comma in the front and back of the word "correctly."

Will, not would, is the correct word because it is a direct speech, not a reported speech.

Thank you

Righteousness89:
[s][/s]

If I was your Father! I will cane you for uttering this..

What do you benefit cancelling the comment of someone just because it doesn't sit well with you? This graveyard has become a stronghold for people who can't accept divergent or conflicting views without throwing tantrum. Note that the correct rendering of this sentence is: "If I were your father, I will cane you for uttering this."

Luftwaffe:
This only proves that Nairaland bans are tools of oppression & suppression.
If OP truly broke the Nairaland rules, no amount of begging should let him off the hook. This simply shows he was illegally banned by the moderator.
Now, how many more Nairaland accounts have suffered same fate in silence?

SMH

Your observation is very correct and it says a lot about our obsessive and unthinking predilection to abuse every little position of power and authority bestowed on us. It is good that common sense has prevailed over narrow-minded appeasement that is not only unfair and unreasonable, but grossly ridiculous. If you go through the previous post created by the Op, which chronicled the injustice he suffered -- although he was clearly out of line with his needless vituperations on the moderator -- almost all the female members that commented were in a celebrative mood and couldn't conceal their "triumph."

I will note for the umpteen time that nairaland has become a space hijacked by a raft of bitter, old, and unintelligent ladies, who can't withstand the heat of heated argument, but are too willing to engage in it. These ladies are deft in honing their manipulative skills and the forum is the greatest loser.

I also believe that it is time the owner of this platform overhauls or evaluates his moderators, because majority of them have become shameless in the abuse of their powers to regulate conduct and discussion. For example, a lady might throw poorly-written invectives on you for stating a viewpoint she finds offensive or incorrect; if you dare retaliate or provide thesis that further portrays the depth of her ignorance; she throws impulse like the child she is, and runs to a mod who happens to be at her beck and call, in a manner that is a rude assault to logic. Pronto, you become a recipient of an undeserved ban, and she, a local ghetto leader who calls the shots.

Stephenmoka4:
2039 is an unreasonable amount of time, I have been to other forums and online community (non-Nigeria). It is usually quite respectable there, the mods usually ban account that go against the rules for a day, days or week(s). If the problem is getting out of hand, the user account would be suspended but, not some decades of lengthy ban.
It's funny how people can insults or troll each other for several pages on this forum and they haven't been flagged by the mod/bots.

There, there is fair hearing and an appeal of course to restricted account. Mods can be reported and also get suspended

It boggles the mind why most members fail to discern the gratuitous severity and extremity of the ban that makes it outrageous and unfair. Come on, the dude was wrong to insult a mod, but it is very wrong to give him such a lengthy ban. If placing a ban on an errant member is a corrective measure to promote good conduct and decorum, one might ask of what use is the relevance of such an unreasonably lengthy ban?

Was the ban placed on him as a show to massage the overbloated ego of some members? Whose aim does such lengthy ban serve? Whatever the case, it is only fair that the ban should be reduced to make nairaland appear as a space where both members and moderators are placed under similar rules and regulations.

paul100:
Thank you Sir but sometimes I wish we also know how to speak the general Igbo language.

It takes almost nothing to learn/speak "general" Igbo language since it is part of you already. However, it is not compulsory for you to speak "general" Igbo language to be truly Igbo. Apart from language, which is often used as a tool of division, there are tens of thousand of similar cultural practices that clearly show your Igbo heritage and identity.

In any case, if you were to speak to me, I will almost certainly understand majority of your words; it is the same if I am the speaker. This is applicable if, for example, an Enugu or Abia person speaks his/her dialect of Igbo. So it is not a peculiar challenge to our people in western part of Igbo language. People who make erroneous classification based on dialectical differentiation in language, don't know that it is these differences that make Igbo language unique and exciting.

virginprincess:
And it really bad.

Learn to boldly and authoritatively educate such ignorant people whenever they attempt to advertise their pitiful ignorance. Delta state is an artificial political contraption that came to being in 1991. So it is inappropriate to call yourself "Delta" Igbo. Even the word "Anioma" was coined in 1979 to give expression to the people that occupy the western part of Igbo land. If you know the nature of relationship that existed in all parts of Igbo land before 1967, then you will understand it makes no sense to call yourself anything other than Igbo.

The Igbo tongue/language is richly diverse, and it is this diversity that makes ignorant people to assume "authority" in a field their competence is very doubtful. So it is simply idiotic for anyone to call any dialect of the Igbo language fake.

Respect your mother's position. All you need to do is to be careful in choosing a woman that fits you in your cultural circle.The notion of meeting one's missing rib in a particular girl is a religious hocus pocus. Marrying from your ethnic group offers you cultural homogeneity and stability.

Minxie:
No you misunderstood. I was simply saying that getting education to the level where it should be is not simply gonna come from one focus point. There are many areas that need to be fixed in order to pay lecturers more.

My point was: They will always worry about salaries because the stuff mentioned in the article (house, car, laptop etc) is difficult for anyone to get especially when using a cash based system. The comparison with what a salary can buy wasn't very thorough because most lecturers in the world can't buy those things in cash.

So even if the lecturers get a salary increase, there are deeper issues that will keep coming up. I do agree with the universities needing more funding from government especially for research. Again, im not disagreeing with the issue at hand. Just pointing out that the comparison of what salaries can buy is a bit faulty.

What obtains in most countries -- a fact you referenced with the example of South Africa -- is a system of education financing, whereby people are sponsored to obtain college/university degree, and pay back after they begin to work. Of course, they are certain to get jobs after they finish schooling; hence, the credit system is highly effective. It might interest you to know that president Obama finished paying his education debt just few months before becoming president.

Since every labourer needs his tools to be productive, I have to quickly disagree that the things mentioned in the article are difficult to provide by the Nigerian government. I will also reiterate that it is purely an issue of misplaced priority and lack of good governance that started since the late 1980s. The article raised the issue of poor salaries and even made comparison with other African countries that have better pay compared to Nigeria. It also showed the limitations suffered by lecturers, which hinder them to perform their job effectively, leading some of them to engage in unethical practices. In developed world, including South Africa, issues like internet connection, power supply, grant for research, etc. are things taken for granted. But these amenities are seen as luxuries to the university community in Nigeria. The Nigerian government has the capacity to provide these amenities if it is serious to persue genuine development, which is anchored by research-driven output of universities.

Nigerian politicians have successfully destroyed public primary and secondary education; their aim is to replicate same to tertiary education. This is the thrust of ASUU's perennial struggle with the government.

Minxie:
Very interesting article and as much as I understand the plight of these lecturers, I would like to point out the following:

1.Teachers and lectures in South Africa also can't just afford those things you listed and it old also take them ages to just buy a house or a car or a laptop. The only difference is the credit system.. which (as I recall) is frowned upon by a majority of Africans.

2. As much as our budget allocates funds for universities, students also pay a lot. When I finished university I had over R100000 student debt in my name. Im still paying it off btw.

I'm just pointing these things out so that students and lecturers can know that it isn't always rosey on the other side.

So your point is that since the government vastly subsides education, it should be of the poorest quality that is incapable of stimulating genuine development? Or that lecturers have no plausible ground to challenge the festering rot and the criminal neglect of tertiary education in Nigeria? In all this and with particular reference to your experience, you can't compare South Africa's infrastructural development to Nigeria's. This is more poignant if one considers the depraved opulence that envelope political office holders, it becomes clear that Nigeria has misplaced its priority.

I can bet my heart and my mind that this objective, well-articulated thread will draw the ire of ignorant, clueless, and pleasure-loving Nigerian youths, who can't differentiate what is a pressure group -- that is, ASUU, and the honcho of a university, which actually runs the university -- the VC that represents the government.