₦airaland Forum

Chidoks:
Dear Mr Brown, hmnn the issue to me is not right or wrong..i cannot afford to get entangled the any adultary issue.

if your spouse cheats then you will unwillingly be entangle in it.

okay most babes say they would end their marriages if their husbands cheat.what if i oblige miss b and tell mrs c , and mrs c eventually ends her marriage shebi they will always say that chidoks is instrumental in their break up abi.God forbid

no, you should NOT tell her what to do, you should just let her know what time it is so she isnt taken for a fool.

Again Miss B can afford to run her mouth as she pleases, she has nothing to loose, no one to answer to but as for me, how will i explain to my husband when kasala bursts?

friends have to answer to one another, thats what "real" friends do... they tell you the truth about everything, whether its positive or not!

Finally dear me, i regard this kind of issue as an ugly gossip.no matter how close you are to anyone, their private lives especially their marriages are sacred and personal.imagine me telling what i did not see, she confronts her husband , he denies, to make her point she mentions miss b and i, her hubby will naturally report to my hubby and the ugliness of the situation will fully manifest abi? mbanu, i cannot be caught in that web mbok

as you havent seen anything, you cannot say anything BUT you should advise Mrs B properly so that she does what is RIGHT. Mrs C's private life is yours as well, dont get it twisted. finally, whether her husband lies about it or not is irrelevant, so long as you do what is RIGHT. if your husband is mad at you because you did what is RIGHT, then i suggest you re-evauate your position in this union (or his motives).

Chidoks:
Seriuosly if anyone catches my husband the need not tell me.if they are close enough, they can speak to him otherwise zip up their lips.

talk to your husband while NOT informing you?! what you are actually saying is that you'd rather live in denial, pretending all is well in your marriage.... fair enough, to each their own!

SAMBARRY:
I know you don't have that rough skin like seal but you have some of his facial semblance in a cute, delectable way. Oya smile na

say cheese

ok i see what you mean now

@mimiflourish
i certainly understand what you are saying but, as a parent (6kids) and as a son i think this is far fetched simply because:

IMHO
1. If your child lies to you often, it is because you over-react too harshly to their inappropriate behaviour.
A) if you dont teach the value of HONESTY into your children then they will ultimately lie to you, because they have no foundation in this aspect, B) as they grow up, most children MUST test their boundaries at home, and thus they will lie to see if that can get them out of trouble, C) if parents lie (however small that lie may be) then children will copy and do the same, D) some children with vivid imagination will unknowingly lie about anything whatsoever, whether they may get in trouble or not, because their brains are still figuring out the real word from the fantasy world that they create, E) FEAR will have some kids lie, example fear of the dark, fear of the unknown, fear of a certain activity, fear of a place/person etc.


2. If your child is not taught to confide in you about their mistakes, you’ve lost them.
there is a big difference between confiding in ones parents and REALISING that they have made a mistake. so long as a child understand that they have made a mistake (and find ways to rectify it) then it shouldnt matter whether they confide in their parents or not. we all should teach our children to be independent from a very young age, and therefore "losing" them is not that wrong, so long as they know their RIGHTs from WRONGs

3. If your child had poor self-esteem, it is because you advice them more than you encourage them.
no matter how much you encourage a child, they can end up with low self esteem... simply because some are not emotionally/mentally strong enough to face the challenges of life due to anxiety, poor confidence in themselves. to encourage a child could actually be the reason why he has low self esteem, if the encouragement is too stringent. parents need to have a positive balanced output of encouragement vs advise depending on each and every child.

4. If your child does not stand up for themselves, it is because from a young age you have disciplined them regularly in public.
the above is an INSULT to all the kids who are bullied and cant stand for themselves... and therefore, we should blame their parents?!?!?! bwaaaaah!!!!!
here are a few other reasons why children wouldnt stand for themselves... because they are quiet/shy/reserved; because they cant handle the pressure; because they have always been overly shielded from the real world by their parents; because its safer not to etc etc etc

5. If your child takes things that do not belong to them, it is because when you buy them things, you don’t let them chose what they want. parents should buy what they CAN as long as that child deserves it. parents should explain to children WHY they didnt get what the chose, and a child should understand that. parents CANNOT buy everything their children desire, thats is not only foolish but also counter productive.but most importantly, parent shoud teach their kids that taking things that belong to them WITHOUT ASKING FIRST is wrong and can be viewed as stealing

6. If your child is cowardly, it is because you help them too quickly.
what has cowardice (fear) got to do with anything? helping a child too quickly will certainly make him lazy, dependent etc... but certainly not a coward?!

7. If your child does not respect other people’s feelings, it is because instead of speaking to your child, you order and command them.
bwaaaah were these people on drugs when they wrote this BS? here is a solution to children who dont respect other people's feeling: teach your kids about the value of RESPECTING OTHERS! you need to teach your children that, no matter how they feel about someone/something, they MUST always respect that person and their views

8. If your child is too quick to anger, it is because you give too much attention to misbehaviour and you give little attention to good behaviour.
an angry child could simply be because A) its a disorder, B) because of issues at school etc, C) because of fear, D) because of frustration, E) because of anxiety, because of embarrassment/shame etc etc etc

9. If your child is excessively jealous, it is because you only congratulate them when they successfully complete something and not when they improve at something even if they don’t successfully complete it.
what has jealousy got to do with congratulating a child?!

10. If your child intentionally disturbs you, it is because you are not physically affectionate enough.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAH children desire ALL the attention in the world, and if they could have it their ways, we parents would be their butlers.

11. If your child is openly defiant, it is because you openly threaten to do something but don’t follow through.
check my answer for #8

12. If your child is secretive, it is because they don’t trust that you won’t blow things out of proportion.
being secretive has all to do with children wanting their privacy; children seeking to set boundaries; children who are uncomfortable around their parents etc etc and very little to do with blowing things out of proportion. but hey, yes if your child did something wrong then he will try to hide it from you because he knows he will get in trouble/punished for it, duh!

13. If your child talks back to you, it is because they watch you do it to others and think its normal behaviour.
NONSENSE, if a child talks back to his parents then thats because he was never taught to RESPECT adults. that deluded child was also never taught that, as an adult, you have the right to talk back to other adults in a respectful manner. but as a kid, although you have a right to have your opinion, you must ALWAYS obey your parents until you become an adult.

14. If your child doesn’t listen to you but listens to others, it is because you are too quick to jump to conclusions
if a child doesnt listen to his parents then the problem is the lack of parenting skills due to setting the wrong boundaries etc OR because this is a naturally rebellious child OR because that child has anger issues... but that has nothing to do with jumping to conclusion too quickly

15. If your child rebels it is because they know you care more about what others think than what is right
this is the BIGGEST BS in that list, so if i understand this nonsense carefully:
- if my child rebels because i ask him to do his homework, instead of playing video games or talking on the phone with his buddies, that because i care more about what others think than what is RIGHT?!?!?!?!?!?!
- if my child rebels because i grounded him because he was caught smoking at school, that because i care more about what others think than what is RIGHT?!?!?!?!?!?!
- if my child rebels like most early teens do, and i act accordingly to straighten him/her out, that because i care more about what others think than what is RIGHT?!?!?!?!?!?!
oh well i guess to each their own

i am sure the inside of that Abuja house must be nice, but putting up some fake NYC homes pictures instead is cheap, lol!

SAMBARRY:
why are you giving me that angry look. Let me see your dimples

there is no comparison here... btw here is also will with gorimapa

girls in one rooms, guys in the other.... sex can wait or they go to a short time hotel

@Chidoks
i am sorry to say that Mrs B is RIGHT in how she views the case, and WRONG in how she acted when she saw the husband coming out of hotels etc

she is RIGHT in wanting to tell her friends (aka Mrs C and you) what she saw and her suspicions... i mean, what are friends for, right?!
she is WRONG because she should have gone straight to the guy and ask him what the hell he was doing with that lady in a hotel while his wife is at home bla bla bla. the fact that she "could" be a business associate is irrelevant here, and that man should know that anything suspicious will be reported to his wife.

now here is a question for you: what do you expect your friends to do if they see your future hubby coming out of a hotel with a lady?

SAMBARRY:
I said in a cute way na.shebi seal has gorimapa like you

that's how he usually does his head na

stale

SAMBARRY:
you look like seal in a cute way (kiss from a rose) in that your picture.


n.b: I'm not flirting with you. I'm ADMIRING your picture.das all

thanks sista, but out of all the good looking black men out there (Will smith, Denzel etc), it is Seal that you compared me with... kai i don suffer!!!!

michykendrico:
He is a new student in palomar college. And needs some1 to share room with

and you seriously think that the best thing to do is to seek solely Nigerians for that?! let him advertise his available room in the Palomar College office of students affairs, they have a few ads there since the College does not have dorms on campus... he should also advertise in free ads newspaper in the area.

http://www2.palomar.edu/pages/studentaffairs/advertisement-boards-2/housing/

do people who write this garbage even have children?! OH LAWD, i feel sorry for any parent who will believe wholeheartedly this nonsense!!!!

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can you explain better as to how he is "stranded"?!

NONSENSE!

Flexiano:
Father disowns son........went to the mass media to broadcast it.
Is it proper

definitely proper... i would certainly understand this father if the son uses his name to do business, or has contact with friends of this man.

Drfresh0909:
is that possible? please what are the main thing we should look out for be specific.

well pls sit down and ask yourself what are the qualities/character that you want your future bride to possess (or not). write it on a paper and see that your intended partner has them all (or not).

now, every man is different and therefore will have different priorities in a future mate, but i would be very careful about the following:
a rude woman
a jealous woman
a disrespectful gal (especially towards people close to her)
a chica with NO desire, NO passion for life, NO aim/aspiration in life
a lady who doesnt know how to say she is sorry
a partner who doesnt value TRUST/COMPANIONSHIP/COMMUNICATION
low self esteem babes whose entire existence depends on what people think of them
a woman with family members who hate me
a religious fanatic
a lazy woman
someone who does not support you emotionally
a stubborn lady
a conceited/vain person
someone with whom i dont feel 110% relaxed (at peace) around
someone with whom i am not sexually satisfied (or not sexually compatible)
someone who idolises money, and can do just about anything to get it
uneducated women whose sole existence is to get Brazilian hair and the latest gadget, while being unemployed
the "desperate to marry at all cost" type of women
a bitter miserable woman

and thats just the beginning!

Phema:
I know right. . .

But lets say it wasn't really an affair. It was just a one time thing. You guys had a very heated argument (which was your fault by the way) and she was so sad needed to exhale. She leaves the house and maybe goes to a bar with no intention to cheat whatsoever. Meets an ex or a persistent chiker, gets drunk. . .a shoulder to cry on. . . the rest is history. She came confessing and apologizing to you after the issue you two had may have died down.

Will you still be walking away, just like that?

whether i am responsible for her action or not, the minute she decides to cheat is the END. i could have beaten the hell out of her, tortured her, treated her like an animal etc, this is no justification for cheating.

kinibigdeal:
Does it change anything?

probably not, but the father will feel better.

the minute she says that, her "visa" will be revoked! there are things that should never be said (even during an argument)... she just went too far, no possible salvage here!

@Drfresh0909
a person preparing to get married should look out for EVERYTHING!!!

Phema:
Because of one small-tiny-lil 5 minute thing? What happened to "to err is human..." huh?

These men are not smiling.

although that tiny lil 5 mins "error" can kill you and/or bring you a lifetime of worries... its the EMOTION involved that would turn me off completely (aka the deceit, the unfaithfulness, the loss of trust for ever)

jonaifame22:
wateva jare,I wan cook I no geh ur time

enjoy your meal!

jonaifame22:
tell her directly na,why are u now using indirect means

sorry, i dont believe her hair is beautiful, but thats just my own view... but you wrote that SHE is beautiful when you cant even see her face, so i corrected you that you should have said:" her HAIR is beautiful".

Spiritman21:
Hi guys!

Seriously, I don't know if this is a dumb question or not. Just wanna ask anyway.

Should a Jobless, I mean a JOBLESS guy propose to his girlfriend? Although, he ain't gonna plan a wedding yet.

Thanks.

nothing wrong with proposing to her, or even marrying her, so long as they both understand the predicament they find themselves into.
you need money to provide yourself with the basic necessities of life, and therefore being married would require exactly the same necessities if not a bit more.

INTROVERT:
moral of the story: Always take the girl you want to marry swimming

some make up are water/sweat resistant, this your advice will fail.

i suggest you go back home, wherever that may be, or go stay at a family/friend's place until you get back on your feet. staying in that place when you have NO income and NO job is just wrong. start afresh and do what is needed. you should learn from your book mistakes instead of trying to take another gamble.

no matter what we have between us (children included), that would be the end of that union.

GLADIATOR/TROY

i certainly understand her point: nothing ever justifies RAPE but, as we all know that there are mad people out there, you have to take extra care (just like anything else in this world). there is nothing wrong if/when a woman dresses provocatively but sadly some deluded sickos will automatically believe that she is a who.re and can be treated as such.

in the world we live in today, you must be extra careful AT ALL TIMES, and if anyone does stoopid things like getting drunk and jumping in a strangers car OR being drugged out of your mind and walking home alone in dark alleys, then that person must take the blame for putting themselves in this dangerous position, where they could get raped/kidnapped or killed.

jonaifame22:
wow! U're beautiful

were you not suppose to say:"wow your HAIR is beautiful"?