₦airaland Forum

Moana:
the last time i checked offering sex for a favour or advantage can be classified as prostitution, correct me if im wrong in Nigeria prostitution is punishable by law? fraud and prostitution are criminal offences. you are the one who shifted the goal post and decided to discuss another thing. i already stated the intention of my post and u still went on to discuss something else.
if you quote me again trying to divert from the actual intention of my previous post, feel free to reply yourself .

BWAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
see how you digged a hole for yourself. here we are debatting about the how/why there are so many unmarried +30 women in 9ja. you then had the audacity to compare 419 with goldiggers. i reminded you that 419 was a crime while golddigging was not. you then came back and told me that goldiggers are prostitutes and therefore it is the same thing. why didnt you call them that all along?! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH


1) when was the last time you saw any of these "undercover" prostitutes be punished for their crime?
2) dont you think that it is therefore normal that these women end up old cargos, if they have been prostituting themselves all their lives?!

who want to marry some leftover ashewos?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

these criminals lived by selling death in countries that have openly said for years that they will kill any drug dealer... so these criminals need to taste their own medicine.

suggyspic:
Two wrongs cannot make a right, she does not have the money to renew. haba, were is the place of conscience in this world.

i fully disagree with you.
this man build his house and is trying to run a business. what if the rent has to pay for the loan he took for this house? should he loose his house because some tenant dont have money to pay the rent?

the below quote is nonsense, after 7 months, she needs to get the fukc out of there. i would have done worst in a shorter period. the day your deposit is gone, you GOT TO GO!!!!

The tenant(lady) said she does not have the time to talk to both of them that she would leave once she gets the money to pay for another accommodation.

Moana:
i have already told u what i meant by my post but if u keep misinterpreting it then you cant really blame your inability to understand something written in plain english on me

lol stop trying to shift your stand, 419 is a CRIME, and you made a mistake by trying to compare it with goldigging.

divAnnie:
I agree, what about if your spouse is not in the habit of apologising?

then we have a big problem on our hands, especially if that means she always does something wrong, even though she knows it's wrong.

wazobiaforu:
But we are doing it in Nigeria, I have once said I will never pay for any job application form again in Nigeria, either for me or pay for someone else, But at the same time I am curious to know if my thinking or decisions is not base on lack of information from other part of the world

taking advantage of desperate jobseekers like that is not right.

i can only apologise if i have done something wrong and understand my mistake.
there is no point in someone apologising if they dont mean it, or just to make someone feel better about themselves.
saying sorry and not meaning it is pointless.

Moana:
i have made my point which is THERE ARE LABELLED DIFFERENTLY despite their actions being the same. Stop taking it out of context.

i am sorry to say that you are the one who is daydreaming when comparing goldigging with a crime, and trying to make us believe that "ITS OK".
wake up pls!

Moana:
okay lets use manupilate not exort, either way a guy doesnt get labelled for it while a woman does, thats the point i was making. Does a 419er not see it as a way of life?

there is nothing RIGHT/POSITIVE/GOOD/LEGAL about 419, and these people are criminals...... tell me anything "right or positive" about extorting money from a maga?!

in the real world, this does not exist..... whether gov jobs or others. how can you ask a job seeker to pay for application form? NONSENSE!

innervoice:
This is quite funny. Fear is definitely not the reason why I don't fall in love easily.

care to share with us why it's difficult for you to find love?!

Moana:
a male does 419 and exorts people of money----> hustling
a female exorts guys for money-----> she is materialistic

419 and extortion is a crime that is punishable by law, while you ladies wants us men to believe that goldigging is a "way of life".

rockcitie:
Please must you talk if you have nothing meaningful to say? What makes you think that a woman above 30 would also not find a matured man (close to 40 years)? Do you think it's everyone who is interested in settling down with "little girls"? Please speak for yourself alone. What works for you may not work for others.

this is a debate and you have all the rights to not agree with what i wrote.

innervoice:
Then we are very different bro.

many people dont easily fall in love because they are too careful with their heart and dont open up that easily to people. they guard themselves too much, so we have people dating for years and yet dont put themselves on the line (not for that person nor that r/ship). i have never been afraid to be hurt by women, and therefore i open my heart, i give the chance for people to get in... thats part of the game if you really want to discover someone, and let them discover you fully. the catch is that people can use that against you (big deal) but the advantages of that is: when you meet the right person, its ON!

innervoice:
Do you easily fall in love?

if i am single, hell yeah!

innervoice:
One of the reasons why they haven't found any even though they were seeking, is that love is hard to find. This reason must be mentioned. Some people are lucky and find it easy to find the person they love and who loves them back but for most people it is not easy. That's why many people find themselves in unhappy marriages. They marry someone just for the sake of being married, especially in the Nigerian setting where marriage is a do or die affair. Therefore, people marry someone who they do not truly love or someone they love but who does not love them back. This is the reality. Therefore, I admire everyone who is brave enough to say no to marriage until s/he finds the right person even if it takes a lot of time. Too many people mare out of fear and not for love.

i disagree with you on the issue that love is hard to find as i believe it is VERY easy to find love, so long as you are an open minded, social, friendly, outgoing, down to earth person without an unrealistic view of what/how love should be. you meet someone with some of the qualities that you desire/require and if you guys are compatible and spend enough quality time together, love would naturally flow.

MrsChima:
You wrote all of that and STILL haven't said anything that convince me that someone can FORCE you to choose to deal with someone because they didn't disclose what they have done on the past BEFORE THEY MET YOU.
Not one person on this thread including you can tell me you have disclosed EVERYTHING in your past to the person you are in a relationship with..I know for a fact NO ONE HAS.
In that case we all have been deceitful because NONE OF US disclosed everything we have done in the past!
The world I live in is not fiction and a bunch of unrealistic bullshit.

Mrs C, if one day your future hubby tells you that he dumped his ex because of reason "X, Y or Z" and you also happened to do "X, Y or Z" in your past, then that should be the moment to tell him the truth and stop wasting your time and his. not doing so at that moment would be considered DECEIT imho!

now, if you want to live in BS r/ship where you waste time pretending to be someone you are not, then so be it. this lady is/was an abortionist (and there is nothing wrong with that) and her hubby has the right to know about it. i MBJ have nothing to hide nor aint ashamed of who i am, people take me for who i am and nothing less.

MrsChima:
What are you on about? No one said that we shouldn't take accountability for our actions and decisions we have made..that is dumb!

What I said was people should mind their damn business about past issues that has nothing to do.with you or them.

how can you say your possible future husband should mind his own business regarding the abortion that you may have had in the past?! thats his damn business if he is against dating a gal who had one.

bro, that Atari 2600 on the top right is late 70s to mdi/late 80s, and definitely not 90s

innervoice:
There are enough modern day women who do not believe in marriage.
There are enough women who lost someone for one reason or another and didn't consider anyone else a suitable replacement or love the one they lost and who are unable to love anyone else.
There are enough women who have different priorities in life.
There are enough women who are not willing to settle for less just for the sake of marriage.
There are enough women who believe in serial monogamy.
There are women who are not able to have kids and who find it hard to find a man who will marry them.
There are enough women who are hidden lesbians.
There are enough women who, for one reason or another, do not like sex and therefore do not want a man by their side.

Life is only simple on Nairaland.

bro, although you are on point with the reasons you gave above, i was mostly focussing on the +30 women who have been seeking for a man and didnt find any, like the 7 examples the OP gave.

@OP
many dont even know what squirting is.... but i am surprised that you didnt mention having an orgasm anywhere in your write up.

innervoice:
There are hundreds of reasons why a lady could be unmarried at 35+ but you chose to mention those. Interesting.

sadly, yes to me these are the reasons why such lady would be unmarried at 35, but if you know any other reason, pls do share them with us all.

@OP
i would need a minimum of $13 to build my ideal woman from this list...... with $5 you will only have a useless lacking mate.

GetFeatured:
wow strong views MRBrownJ

Please you must voice your opinions via my survey!

[size=14pt]We want to know what you think about relationships, dating and marriage.
Answer 10 questions honestly and you could get NGN5000 Konga gift card!
https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/CFKX7FB[/size]

bro, bring your survey to NL and i will gladly answer it, but i wont click on any unknown link like the one above, sorry.

innervoice:
You are contradicting yourself. First you say that too many Nigerians believe that a woman can only be valued if she gets married and then you imply that something is wrong with a woman who is 30+ or 35+ and is not yet married. Then you continue saying that all or most men prefer young girls, which further implies that a woman loses her value if she does not marry in time. You have exactly the same mentality you were condoning in your first paragraph.

bwaaaaah, bro let me help.... slowly.
so the topic today is for us to look as to why so many +35 women are still single. i then suggested that it could be because of the following reasonS (focus on the S which means plural). it could be because:
A) these women have been preconditioned to believe that they need a man in order to be valued (and that their parents have the last say on who he should be).
or B) if you follow the stand i just mentioned above then you have to accept your fate if you end up a +35 single woman (or blame your parents)
or C) if you got to +35 and NO MEN has been interested in marrying you then possibly the problem is within YOU
or D) last i pointed out that at +35 there is too much competition, and INDEED these ladies can be referred as old cargo

so again, this is 4 different plausible reasons as to why a Nigerian woman could still be single at +35

onlyievera:
You've never had unprotected sex? Be sincere pls.
The heat of the moment can make your ignore the consequences of unprotected sex.

i have never had unprotected sex with a woman i was not ready to take all the way.... so if the gal would get pregnant, i wouldnt see it as a mistake, but rather the CONSEQUENCES of my actions. so again, whether the heat of the moment makes you ignore the consequences of unprotected sex (or not), a person is a damn fool if he/she calls the direct result of such action (pregnancy) a mistake.

onlyievera:
Is that really the smartest thing to do? Sex and someone caring about you wouldn't be enough if a baby mistakenly happens.

babies dont "mistakenly" appears unless it is 2 very foolish people who have sex. unless you have a good situation in life and want to have a child together, there is NO REASON why two people should have unprotected sex.

but remember the important part here, MEN NEED SEX and MEN FUNCTION BETTER WITH SOMEONE BY THEIR SIDE

pak:
Don't mind all these people who talk without thinking. Past is past so I should marry someone I just discovered to be a serial killer ?

well said! sadly, thats because many people out there are not willing to accept the consequences of their actions.... and think they can erase all the shiit they have done in the past (like it never happened). nonsense!

saintaustine:
Talking About Abortions, Why Are the Ladies At The Receiving End. Why Don't We Also Blame The Guys, Because If Their Semen Don't Get There, Definitely There Would Be No Need For Abortion.

sir, you did not follow the discussion well... abortion is not a crime and everybody has the right to decide if they want to have one or not, the dilemma is to accept that maybe some people will not want to associate with a lady (or man) because they had one.

if a lady finds out that her man is impotent she has to decide what she wants to do, and, not going through with the marriage should be one of the decision she could take. its all down to each and everyone of us to decide what we can and cant accept.

@OP
there are few issues here:
FIRST: NIGERIANS BELIEVE WOMEN MUST BE MARRIED TO BE VALUED
the solution to this problem lies in changing the prehistoric mentality of Nigerians who believe that the life's aim of any woman is to be married and have children (and that parents should have the last say on the matter). from their early age, parents beat that notion into young girls brain so these ladies will grow up believing that they aint shiit unless a man take them as wives.... and their parents approval is the do or die on the matter. the roots of that tree is rotten and we have to change it if we want to make better apples.

SECOND: ACCEPTING YOUR FATE
if you are +35, then you have lived about 17yrs seeking for that "Mrs" status without success, and since you know the social environment you live in, i suggest you let it go and accept that maybe it aint for you (and/or go insult your parents who refused all suitors that came your way). but hopefully by then, you have a great job that you can fully focus on. i am sure you are comfortable with who/what you are and i sincerely hope you dont settle for the 1st donkey that come your way, out of desperation.

sadly you have to accept the possibilities that you may be a gf (at best), for the rest of your life. there is no point still seeking for marriage when you see what you are up against out there. any +35 woman who still desperately seek for Mr right has to seriously answer the simply question: "why?".

THIRD: MEN AINT CRAZY
if you are a successful/beautiful/sexy +35yrs old woman, and yet still single, you have to look within yourself to know what drive men away from you. too high expectations? thinking to high of yourself? wrong character? NO morals? NO class? NO integrity? a good responsible woman does NOT stay single for long on the market, and a stubborn conceited woman need to fully accept that she may be single for a while. unfortunately, you best have a diamond cootie cat if you are ugly broke +35, and expect to compete with all them young 18+ women out there who are (as well) desperately looking for a husband to save them out of their misery.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST: LETS BE REAL HERE
what man in his right mind would settle for someone that passed her early 30s, when there are gazillions of young beautiful energetic 18-20yrs old out there desperately seeking for "any" well to do man to marry them? the younger men (18-30) out there would desire someone their own age, the mid range men (30-40) would look at these women and question why they havent been married all this time, and instead they would settle for someone "fresher" ranging from 25 to 30..... and the older men (40 and up) would mostly seek for an arm candy at this stage of their lives, and therefore also settle for the younger desperate women out there that are freely available in 9ja. so the reality is, pass 30 these women are indeed "old cargo".

@OP
nothing do you! so long as you are happy, these gals are happy, you dont promise them marriage etc and these women are minimum 18yrs old (secondary school is below 18) then do whatever you desire. not everyone out there is ready/willing to be married or struggle with a strong woman and you are such person, and not ashamed of it.

lordthree:
So i've been friends with this girl for years and recently we started having sexx, a month ago i asked her out and she said she liked us how we are, fast forward to today she texted me and asked what are we? and i said we are friends and she stopped replying.. why are girls so confusing?

do you fukc all your friends? at best you guys should be lovers or friends with benefits.

Jackeeh:
Why has she returned to u? Was she dumped by the player? Why did she leave u in the first place? Did u push her away in anyway? If she returned cos she's been dumped, don't take her back.

so you actually think there are reasons out there to possibly take this ungrateful lady back?

temitemi1:
Then u need to let her past be her past! Was she a virgin wn u met her

do you thing being a virgin (or not) actually makes a difference here?

@ shaizegotswag
time is what you need.... as difficult as it may seem today, you will someday forget about this ungrateful lady passing through your life, and you will find a lady ten times better than her that will cherish everything about you, that will love you and stand by you unconditionally.

(no offense) your ex knew what she was getting herself into, you were NOT enough for her, you were not man enough to offer her virginity to you, she wanted more and went and get it. you will always remain "small" for this lady. but guess what? if the other playa had not treated her like garbage and dumped her, she would still be with him. so it was not HER CHOICE to come back to you, he got rid of her sorry self and now she came back to you. such women are dangerous because she is only using you for comfort until she can bounce back and find another "better" man than you.

if that is the kind of lady/relationship you are looking for in your life, then good luck.

@OP
what about asking this lady what has changed suddenly? be direct and stop going around the bushes.......
you simply ask her:" hey whats the deal with you these days? i have been trying to meet you for months, and you were giving me the cold shoulder all this while, and suddenly you come twice in a few days at my place and just want to get laid.what you looking for? is your bf on vacation?"