₦airaland Forum

A happy christmas for this family. Praise God

Years back we were being abused and I thought that was the most terrible thing that could happen to a child.

Now we are grown we didn`t learn from what happened in our time, our own kids are getting killed.

Respect young lady!

I hope God will see you through and I do hope you will not be tempted too far into the wrong direction because of your situation. I think it is great that you are ready to do any honest job for money and you are also grateful for whatever you get.

God is in control and men have to play their own part

krall:
I rely on abokee suya for meat supplement.
That one is uncle's wife. But I feel for you.

Ironyy of life- my grandfather trained him and he studied. My father felt that the man would treat me good.
Well I am gratefull for what they did for me and noone is perfect.

I experienced something similar from my uncles wife years back when I was in law school. My dad insisted I stay with "family". The lady got to pack the food away before I came back from school and I would go on just bread. They lived in a poshy area and there were only big hotels around. After months someone showed me a BQ where a drivers wife sold food and that saved me. On weekends she would make pounded yam for her kids and mix allot of garri in my pounded yam and we would all eat on the same table I felt so humiliated about it. I told her I had no problem with garri but I did not like the mix. That was just a few mild things I went through. The man came into my room because he had his office down and when I turned him back he got nasty. It was hard and my mum was no longer there for me o I had to choke it all in me.
I focused on my school and was hell bent on making good result which I did.
Don`t complain he would notice it with time. One can go without meat. Thank God you are even getting a meal I went hungry quite often, my dad was on his own trip and had little time for me.

Juzzybabe:
This isn't my thread o but u see that your "Thank you for marrying me" humm I still and will ever regret y I told my husband that. It made him feel he did me and my family a large favour by marrying me and he feels thats y i do say thanks for marrying me. He insults me and even my family and he reminds me that even me knows he did me and my family a favour thats y i thank him always.I wish i knew what it means to him.

so sorry about that, some people do not appreciate good things.

cococandy:
she told you ?

When the woman tried to seek help by reporting to his family she was warned never to raise it again because it was an abomination. Even her own family people reacted that way. In Nigeria there are some things that must remain silent.

In the past she had sought advice (also from christian mothers) and had been told she should be happy and thank God that the man was so active, they wished their husbands where like that

coughs...am I interrupting

crackhaus:
That right there in bold is the fulcrum of this issue.
Some women will claim r.ape after the act if there's a strain in that relationship...just to spite the husband/bf.
I'm not totally eliminating the fact that there are beasts out there who force their way violently, but the treachery and cunning of some women can not be overlooked.

..and I know a woman who had a baby and was stitched under the husband raped her the next day and bust the stitches. He came back late in the night with condoms in the pocket, he had obviously had another woman out there before.

For me not possible because my husband will not hear of it. He takes them to the doctor and brings them back without me. He just does not allow me to follow him.

rittyben:
Don't circumcise ur son because you don't want to see him cry. Leave it till when he is 10 yrs old so that he can make his own decision.

I wish it was possible.

Rest in peace young soul.

My advice is somewhat different.

As a back up- go to the court and make a certified / attested copy of the marriage certificate if you don`t have means of getting an original. It does not take time and does not cost much.

Then go into yourself, examine yourself about what role you have played till now. What could you have done to contribute to this condition. Be neutral and fair.

You can be in a condition for years but unless something else is done and a different approach is used, the condition does not change. If he tells you everyday to leave and hasn`t kicked you out it means there is something about you bothering him and that constantly yet he still cares for you.

Make an attempt to turn the marriage around. Wait for him to come home cook something special and really let him see you have been preparing his return in a special way.
When he has eaten and is in the right mood go down on your knees and present him with the certificate and tell him you are sorry if he is disappointed in you and you would like to return the certificate to him since he wanted it... Tell him you love him and you would want the marriage to work. Ask him to let you know where you have gone wrong. Make sure you are ready for this- meaning no going into defense but a humble apology without trying to justify yourself. Be patient and sincere about your apology and if you present it in a right manner he just might open up and soften up. Make the changes he wants work on them.
A man should not lay hands on a woman but provocation is an excuse even in law.
Anyone advising you here does not know the true situation of your marriage and neither do I . That is why you have to weigh and consider what might work for you.

Even in the best of marriage one should show appreciation- thank you for marrying me, thank you for sharing your life with me and thank you for loving me.
This should be done by wife and husband. So for anyone reading this post - try it out

in most cases the women bear it silently. A woman that speaks out must have suffered terrible and sometimes constant abuse.
When a woman gets raped by her husband it is a terrible thing because she is constantly confronted with him and is constantly in danger of it happening again. It is a traumatic experience.

Would your friend agree to speak with an experienced lawyer about this issue? It would not cost her anything. It is just that that over christmas people travel so she might have to act now or wait till after.
It would be possible to get her removed from there and get parents to foster her instead of her being a house help.
If she is willing we can help her. The lawyer is also from the east so one might be able to trace her family. Are you sure the people she is living with are not her relations.

Invite her home and introduce her to your wife. BEfore you do that make sure you tell your wife and plead with her to be accomodating.

I had my ears pierced when I was over 10 yrs and it does not really hurt. When I had my first daughter in Nigeria, the midwives pestered me to pierce her ears . Weak and tired I consented because they kept coming to my bed. The irony of it is that she is ver 20 and does not wear earrings. MY second daughter got her ears pierced at around 10 and also does not wear earrings.
With the last two I didn't `t even bother.
The main reason is that it is not done for young kid`s where I live and secondly I just do not see the necessity to have it done it can always be done later. Besides saved me this. "you lost your earring"

Lovely couple. Happy married life!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_M0kJNJ5Ic

Nigerian law student. Another example also raised in a large family.

KanwuliaJara:
You anti-white sentiments have no basis here.
If you think the 'WHITE' is to blame. . .then you are accepting YOUR FAILURE.
I am not posting thrash. . . THIS THE REALITY OF THE BLACK DYSFUNCTIONAL PSYCHE!
I have proferred my solutions. . . STAY IN SCHOOL AND CLOSE YOUR LEGS!
Do not produce more IJJIOTS!
Simple!!!!
DID YOU LISTEN TO THIS?
Did you see the Duggar girls. . . phocking all over town, with white NIGGAS?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvgLaujchzk

Am I anti-White- certainly not. In fact that would be like being anti-self.

I guess you are a typical example of what you expect a black to be : All you can do is post you- tube trash and scream close your legs.

Do you think it is so easy to go to school and stay in school for kids whose parents can`t afford or who cannot motivate their children. This is just a vicious circle and the kids need role models and they need to be motivated and stimulated.

There was a very intelligent black boy in my sons class in primary 1. I told his mother to send him to me to his home work but she did not take the offer. Now she has come back the boy is doing so badly because the parents can`t motivate the boy and help teach him at home. Now the child is not to blame but the society. The parents too were part of the circle. There needs to be intervention from outside to break this circle.
Those white families you are posting where brought up in different circumstances and have different opportunities.

Go look at black that grow up in decent homes, they excel and are doing great, jut that they do not care much for the joint cause.

I think Stillfire is basically on the same track.

Never knew that there are blacks who don`t know the impacts and effects of racisim. This is ignorance please educate yourselves... no offence meant.

The way forward:

RESTORE THE DIGNITY OF THE BLACK MAN

We do not need to turn back to the people that put us in the mess to help us out but we have to do it ourselves.

Educate the children on the dignity of the black race and wash out all feeling of inferiority.

We should influence the school curriculum to tackle this.

NGO´s and Churches should preach and help to build up the true values we need to bring us forward. The black preachers are one of our greatest enemies because the preach material jargon.

Watch out for racisim that is hidden in subtle manner. Buy your kids black dolls, introduce them to black heros.

We should not tolorate any leader or politician that is currupt.

Everyone can help. By helping in the society to bring every black person forward. Do not stand back and criticise but support you people, because their dignity is yours!

Do not spread cheap trash like the one up there. It is more damaging than you think. Now you could open a thread to sho us great black men and women.
You see more the crimees white commit are more inhuman than the crimes of blacks! You urgently need to do some deeper thinking than this.

“Ms. Adams, as a judge of this court and as a citizen of the state of Florida,” said Judge Sheehan, ”I am obligated to shut down the party in your pants. You apparently have no moral compass to guide your unstoppable urge to share your body with the entire male population of the Florida panhandle, so this court is ordering you to learn how to perform MouthAction and how to give hand jobs. If this doesn’t slow your unabashed desire to drive up the minority population of the United States, then I will tie your tubes myself,” said the irritated judge.
Angel Adam had children from different men but we are missing the point.

1- She was entitle to befitting accommodation for her and the kids and not to be put in a hotel room with all her kids.That is what the system guaranties her. Believe you me if she was not a good mother they would have taken the kids from her. Abuse of her fundamental human rights.

2- The police stormed into the house and abused her. Threw a pregnant woman on the bed and endangered her and the unborn child. And everyone even blacks believed that crap because she was - a woman with many kids. Do not even criminals have FHR.

Then what do you say about the Judge in the court. That judge should have been banned. But the black world accepted it.

The way forward is to identify the enemy and then you can battle the problem.

BTW- those videos are cheap stuff and instead of being brain washed you should have carried out your own research. What about the white woman with so many kids? She was given a TV show. The black one is the criminal

China was never a british colony. The british only occupied a portion. The Chinese had a strong dynasty and culture of over 500 years and a very large population.

You cannot compare that with Africa.
MY question is what lead to ethnic rivary we have today.
Anyway you are a product of brainwashing and propaganda.

First the enslave your body and then your mind and now they have you believing that you are inferioir and have your self to blame or rather your being sub- human to blame!

That cheap trash you posted is a remnant of black slavery.

If a soul is left in silence sin will be committed, the guilty one is not he who commits the sin, but he who causes the darkness.

He who opens a school door, closes a prison.
Victor Hugo

The question is not what is wrong with the black family.
What is wrong with the rest of the world?
The theory of white supremacy was embraced by the world years back and systematically the black families have been steered to destruction.
The hard thing about it is that we are yet to realise it because years of this evil practice has handicapped us.
The blacks that climb up the social ladder are contented because they believe they have attained equality but the fail to realise that no matter how high you climb- as long as racial discrimination exists you will always be confronted with this problem and your family will also not be spared. Which American president and his family has been subjected to so much insult like Obama?

That´s what makes me really unhappy. We want to have as much money as possible yet if you live in Africa how long does it take to get expert medical attention in an emergency? We need to free ourselves and our minds and fight for the dignity of the black race. We have to educate our children. We have to make sure that every african has his fundamental human rights guaranteed- life, shelter, education, freedom, and, and..

Yes there are schools but do you get education there?

Education is the transfer of knowledge, skills, values, beliefs and habits from one generation to another. Does the education system today which does not take the black man into consideration transfer this to your children. Is it not so that the education system today also leads to darkness and not to light because it helps to sink our children in the ocean of inferiority. In a system where blacks are left discouraged and with little hope the doors of the prison are open wide for them.

Complaining only makes it worse because you put the man under tension to perform and that worsens the situation.
As a woman you can steer the ship gently without taking over command of the ship.
Sometimes the packaging is even better than the gift...

Dotunwa:
cooks much to freeze, like when she wants to warn might not feel like eating the stuff again.
She wants to cook put the pot on the stove and forget to on d gas and other stuffs.
Yes, her sexuallty changes when she was pregnant.

To one: Some like it hot, some like it cold, some like it in the pot nine days old.

To two: Absent minded because she is miserable, probably has an insensitive husband who does not show tenderness so she is so wrapped up in her hurt and pain.

To three: Your friend must be a brute if he does not know that women`s sexuality changes when they are pregnant, some can`t even stand the husband touching them.

I hope your friend is reading this, he has failed as a husband!

Uups did I just write this

.. the end of the story is that the pastor is the right man for you.
At the right time he will fulfil his prophesy.

Please if you don`t have a valid reason, stop roaming. The children will get bitter about it and loose respect for you. Stick to this man or better still go back to your husband.
But sorry to add this- you came , you saw and you conquered. The man had to leave the house for you.

Alephilomath:
You never answered my earlier question on this thread. I really would like to know your answer.

Did you want to know if men would share a woman they love?
I bet in some rare cases. Perhaps fo a short period.

freecocoa:
This mutter of a person never ceases to amaze me, how do you love someone who doesn't love you as much, to the point of not being able to live without him/her?
I'd like to think that you will only be fulfilled if the person you love, feels the same way about you, no? I just can't understand how you can't be able to live without a man who decides to marry another woman, why does he need another woman? If you are not enough for him, doesn't that tell you that, he isn't the right man for you? The man for you would have eyes only for you, ofcourse there will be temptations, but because he loves you, he will choose to stick with you, the one for you won't decide to marry other women.
Please don't tell me you don't mind, if you love that man so much that you can't live without him, the thought of him with another will maim your heart, let alone having to hear him make love to her, Tah! Ma'am please you don't know what love is, you'd rather live without him than share him with another, that's how much you cherish him, what do you think he tells that woman while making love to her? What will he tell you when it's your turn? Just how are you comfortable with such? What makes him so special? Why can't you be that special to the point that he can't live with any but you?
I'm sorry but only someone with extreme case of low self esteem reasons this way, tell me you want to stay because of your children, because you are lazy and need him as a meal ticket, tell me you are staying because you want the mrs title, tell me something but don't tell me you are staying because you love him, no that's not love, you have to love yourself before you can love another and if you love yourself, you won't give your all to a man who doesn't appreciate it.

Loads of women out there that have alot more self esteem than any of us are sharing their husbands. You can rebel all you like it wouldn`t change the reality.
Better save your energy for making sure you don`t get into that situation.

Besides I wonder why so many women bark at polygamy. Is it not the same women comming in as second and third wife. How can a man marry a second wife if no woman agrees to marry him? Many of these second wife`s are pretty emancipated

Nothing wrong wiht the age gap. Most women grow into their role.

The innocent ones say "yes" to life.
In Nigeria most girls cannot take that decision because they can`t afford to. They either get rid of it or sometimes the parents sell the baby.

...then things have fallen apart.