₦airaland Forum

SAMBARRY:
Abeg am sick of reading these kinds of tales jare..next

I know a woman who knew her husband was abusing the house help. When I asked her to send the girl away to protect the girl, she said she had no one to do the work

Sometimes stories have more than one side

It takes two to tango. If it is boring and she is fed up then she is also a bore and not quite fit at it heself. It is like a couple on the dance floor, when one is really good and conffident, he can swing his partner that can`t dance gracefully along the dance floor and it would be a beautiful dance.
It is not a "his" problem but an "our" problem.
Talk open about it yet introduce the topic gradually. The lady concerned needs some guidiance herself.
Finally- It is possible the man too is bored too!

When a woman is pregnant she can deceide to keep the child or abort it. There is little the man can do. The news of a baby can be a big shock when one is not married for the girl as well as the man. It might be that the man was just not ready and panicked. The longer he stayed away the harder it is to go back and beg.
I think she should judge the man from all she knows about him not just this one incident. It could be he was just not ready.
Besides man men never even bother to come looking for the child, he did.
Allot of people might say no don`t take him back but it is very hard to raise a child without a father. If you think it was hard in pregnancy and when the child is a baby you are making a real mistake. The problems start when the children get older. Especially for boys, you need to have a real strong personality to cope.
The world has not changed much in certain things, children without fathers are still discriminated against and sometimes face abuse.
Sad as it might be, it is better to have divorce parents thanto have a single mum.
She should despite everything be happy that there is new chance to make it work.

bukatyne:
Does the husband also break his sim to show this 'symbolic' joining?

Is the woman the same as the man? Do they have the same function or role in a family?
For the man even to suggest it shows that the woman is not quite "clean".

Flytefalls:
That's your opinion, all are entitled. Despite the fact I believe in God, to instruct a woman to "have your baby because it is what God wanted" is actually reckless. In the real world, it isn't a good enough answer and provides no real practical solution. Strictly, I am pro prevention. Once the battleground becomes an argument over actual lives and consequences; I leave it to the woman, I leave it to God.

I don`t think i said anything different Please read my post. Every woman should be free...

If that was my son I would strip the teacher naked and give her a good beating!

Everyone has a right to speak their mind but that does not make it right. Abortion is a sin because it brings a life to end.
Most women that commit abortions are also not abused or raped women. Besides the unborn child is innocent. However every woman should be free to make the choice if she wants to sin or not. It is between her and her God and only God knows what his yardstick for judgement is.

Voted ! She is so CUTE

No woman or man has a right to demand another woman to have an abortion. That is for her to decide.

The truth is that your husband abused and took advantage of his master status to get the poor little gir pregnant.

The truth is that you failed to protect the little girl from your wayward husband, and you must have known that he was wayward.

You should think about how to plead with her and the family for the wrong you have done her! If her family say your husband should marry her take her in and show her love.

Don`t call it a problem. It is simply a request your husband has.
You can copy the numbers before breaking the card but remember ..The breaking of the card is symbolic. It means that you now know that you belong to him as he belong to you.
The fact that he does not break his own card should not be the excuse for you breaking or not breaking yours.
The hard truth is that as awoman and a Nigerian you need to know that we have a polygamous society and nothing much has changed. The young cry out the are not polygamous but wait till the get a few years older. Many women that rant about it end up sharing their husbands some years later. This means you cannot compare yourself to your husband in this aspect.
If you have a "problem" with his request then you are not yet ready for a happy marriage. This issue is so trivial that it is not worth being an issue talk less of a problem.

Sometimes negative things from the past still have a greater impact on us than we can imagine.
You need to give yourself time to heal and distance yourself more from what happened and then the writing will flow again. Pushing yourself to write on this might make you relive all the emotions again and that might sap you emotionally, especially since you have responsibilities and new stress that comes up every day.
Writing such a book needs inspiration. I would just put it aside for now and wait.. you will know when the time has come to continue.

Jchi9876:
Weda the kitty was asked for codedly or openly?

OT- I am not a preacher! LOL

What you wrote was not wron but that should not have been the inroduction. That would have been better at a later time. For the first contact it might have hit a nerve. Anyway just write her a friendly message and exxplain you were just being familiar because you see her a s a sister and so you related to her as one. Getting to know each other could be an enrichment, no point wasting the chance on a minor missunderstanding.

cococandy:
I criticized the 2 year condition initially placed as a criteria and I wasn't insulted.
Nne drop the holy attitude. The only people who got insulted here (if any) were those who came with insults, evil wishes and curses instead stating in a non offensive way what they had against the criteria.
Maybe you should have read from the first page instead of jumping into the middle.
If you're charitable like you claim you won't want to be cajoled and pampered into it.
At the very least if you belong to the group of those that are not giving (me for example) you can just try not to discourage those that are giving by getting off your moral high horse.

Cococany does who climb high horses have the risk of falling. All is vanity! I hope you are not irritated by my writting style... From the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. Please do not try to pressurise me into donating. I have to be moved to do so. And again the "polite" responses here might also discourage others. And finally when did I have evil wishes or insult anyone? Just wondering. Please point it out to me and I would gladly apologise.

You pray to God. You also keep low profile. Most times hatred is bred from jealousy. So keep low profile and don`t talk much about your kid`s and their achievements. Rather praise and thank God for what he has done.

In an argument things are said that really hurt sometimes. That is why it is better to talk and dialogue. He is complaining because he has too little of your time. Telling him how much responsibility you carry at a time like this may not be the right tactic. I think he just needs to hear that you would rather have more time for him. It is important to have a healthy work-family balance and that is very difficult when one has a job like yours. One always gets under pressure. I understand how you feel. With all that work a woman needs to be appreciated and praised. So it would be hard for you to understand why your husband is acting up. Try being subtle and lovingin getting your message across and you sure will get to find out how much he appreciates you.

Now unto aproko thinz tongue Are you still into shipping cars from Germany? We don't mind you chipping in a car or a container or the whole ship sef tongue Every little helps. God bless you ma'am.


Sorry Bigbumper, I now work only in the Lords vineyard and focus more on voluntary work. Not because I can afford it but because it gives life more meaning- for me at least. It might change again someday but that is the status quo now.
I shall not be donating to this project because this group has failed to AIDA the message across to me and maybe some other people that might have been keen to donate. AIDA- attention, interest, desire and action.
Sadly I was only drawn to the negative aspects of this tread and that is the insults with wich everyone who dared to criticise was confronted with. When raising money for a charitable venture it is important to convince prospective donors- that is if you are keen on donors.

Frenchkiss564:
this woman has no iota of dignity, it is only new nairalanders that dont know her

Insults are the little tantrums we throw when logic fails us! Grow up!

This is so alarming! Such insults because someone dared criticize you.
Well you get me wondering if this is a "gift" or an ego trip. It is a shame really.
Even when giving a gift, give in such a way that it can be received with dignity.

babyosisi:
Biko can you folks move over
Sheesh
How much are you putting In?

Are you requesting or asking? Because if you really anted someone to benefit from my money you would put it in a nice way

Apple cider vinegar mixed in water is very good it also get rid of itching. Natural yogurt is also great and also prevents itching and odour. It is better to use natural producht rather than chemicals and they are very effective.

It is a great idea, however I have to agree with Invertedhammer. It is a competition and at the same time an opportunity but it certainly isn`t a gift. Not just the winner but also others are going to invest their times and skills. There will be tension and anticipation and at the end also disappointment for those who did not win.
Hmm with so much money perhaps there can be a second and third price?

Every child should be entitled to fee education. The rich exploit the poor and use them as cheap labour and now want to deprive them from having kids?

You can`t stop her from seeing a pastor. As long as she believes she will keep going.
The sad thing is that even when she has a baby, it will be something else.
This kind of situation can tear families apart. IT can also bring lifelong enemity. Mothers being branded as witches and so on.
I personally will have nothing to do with anyone who is on this kind of trip.

I think you should not worry about it. The one that appears more dominant may not even be the dominant one later. The important thing you need to know is that the other twin gives the things to her. They have a special bond and will relate to each other in a special way. I would just do as bellong advised and be firm so she learns not to take things from people without asking.
Something about these children that appear to be so soft and give in to everything- they end up as totally hard core later on. Perhaps because they accepted so much when they were young.

Congratulations! Go for it!

When filling a form like that, there are a whole range of other things apart from workers - Housewife, students or Pensioners .
A house wife could be very educated and experienced but just currently not employed because she is taking care of the family. This data is needed for statistics too.
Why should you be wondering if Housewife is an occupation? Do you realize that it is a great responsibility to raise and train children and take care of the home. The payment is seeing your kid`s growing up and doing well and to see your husband happy. Quite honestly being a housewife is something every woman ought to do at some period. To just work all through is also not okay.
Many women I know today would love to be housewive`s but can`t because their husbands don`t grant them that luxury. So they go out to work, come home tired, still struggle with the housework and kids and at the end are burnt out and tired. The sad part is the cannot give 100% at home or a work.

As women become financially independent the man has lost his typical role of being the provider.
However we tend to forget the meaning of provider. It means so much more than financial support.. A good man gives a woman a sense of security. It is a great feeling to be loved and to know that someone cares and shares his life with you. You can work hard and have money but you can`t buy someone who cares for you. Comparing today with yesterday would be wrong because it is not about staying in a marriage but it is about having a good marriage. I think that today women have a better chance of going into a marriage and it succeeding because they can make their choice and are more independent and exposed. The reason it does not work out in most cases is that society has lost touch touch with the real values in life.

Question for the men- If you bring a child into the marriage, would you let the child accept the new wife?
There are so many stories about wicked step mothers but people hardly consider this version.
I have seen many men making it difficult for women to be happy with step children. They don`t allow the women to train or discipline the child and even say things to the child against the woman. Accuse the woman in front of the child.
Bringing a child into a marriage is something that both parties have to work on. It takes time, patience and tolerance. If the man does not stand behind the wife, and vice versa it can also go wrong.

Please go and see a doctor. It is probably not anything serious causing it but the effects of being dehydrated can affect the baby. When a mother is dehydrated the babys heartbeat goes down and is affected. So you are taking a big risk and an unnecessary one too. You need to go as soon as possible.

You should have informed the parents. You are covering up a crime. You don`t need to tell us to be warned we know what is out there. You should rather look out that you do the right thing.
So much evil exists today because good men/ women remain silent!