₦airaland Forum

If they show him the process of how it's made, I can bet with anything that he won't try it again.

I'll remove the red meat.

Kaycee54321:
Very salient points to discuss.

Especially that number 8.

Before somebody's daughter will sow family savings as first seed after one powerful sermon from a "Man of God" in January.

Imagine how the whole year will look like, starting off on that foot.

No strength to shout.
We gats agree and if possible put it in writing...because I don't even know what couples sign on the wedding day that it's looking like they don't know what they agreed to do in the first place, after some years...

Lol...the reality here is that Nigeria has a higher percentage of religious women than men. And these women can give or sow anything provided it would make their family better. Is it bad? I don't think so.

For me, I'm not totally against giving to the church, but it should be done with wisdom and with the full approval of your spouse.

To your last paragraph, I feel many just want to get married. This is why whenever I read what couples are going through I always ask this same question didn't you guys date before getting married? cos relationship helps you know your spouse much better.

ednut1:
Dream on. The wives of most rich men cannot get wet for a teacher unless maybe you are also lesson teacher to her kids. Teachers wey dey nack for hotel with which salary Una too dey lie

Biko allow him bask in his fantasy.

Country hard. Even if it's in the dream he's nacking them, as long as it would ease depression, it's a welcome development. I'm tired of reading suicide stories.

emmaodet:
Exactly
I don't know the reason for the high rate of attack at housewives as if they are lazy.
Many men don't even appreciate the efforts these women are putting at home to make the family run smoothly.
You meet your food at the regular time - morning, afternoon and evening likewise your kids. She takes them to school and pick them up, washes clothes, mop and sweeps the house etc and we just think these jobs are not work.
How many men can even do all these? Immediately most men lose their wives, they quickly rush to remarry so as to transfer that burden to another woman.
They hardly wait long enough to cook their own foods and kids, bath them, take them to school and pick up etc yet we don't appreciate the women doing these silent jobs

True, a house wife isn't lazy. Infact she works harder than husband. The only difference is that he's efforts is rewarded with wages, while that of the woman isn't.

But for me, I'm totally against any woman who chooses to become a full time house wife in her husband's house. But should discuss what she'll be doing when they get married.

I'm still single, yet I know how much I spend on bills alone. In 2020 a token recharge of 5k on your prepaid meter would see you through the month. Today with 20k the highest it would take you is 3 weeks. Should I add fuel (gen and car) data, gotv (it's now N7,500)...

This night I bought bread to drink with tea, the last time I bought that particular brand of bread, it was N700. Now it's 1k.

Our ever rising inflation would frustrate any man who chooses this path. Cos when the bills start rolling in, he'll take out his frustration on the innocent hard working woman.

emmaodet:
It may not break down but will stretch the marriage probably to the limit
Argument, quarrels, insults start springing up when the man can't easily renew his rent and landlord embarrassing the family at the top of his voice regularly. School sending kids back home for non payment, hubby not able to raise any meaningful money during family events like burial of parent, wedding of siblings etc.
You said many women are loyal and respectful to their hubbys but do you know what is going on inside? Privately? What the man is facing?
I am a man and I know how close friends and families with respectful wives call me privately and share what they are passing through in their homes when soliciting for financial help.
Believe me, alot is happening behind the curtain

God bless you for this piece.

This is what I've been trying to explain. But they just don't want to understand.

folake4u:
Look at your mouth like ban.🤣🤣😝😝

Better beg me o. Or else you might chop ban. You broke the rules, so you must pay the penalty.

.

Persephone1:
See eh.. I have come to realize that the reason why some of these guys opinions appear to be blatant lies or exaggeration is because this forum is a gathering of people from different regions,norms, practices and values. I have come to understand why men of a specific region may have an upsetting opinion of women of that region, the problem is with the expression i.e the generalization.

Sometimes when I read bold statement like the one Naz made on "women respect" I tend to ask myself where our respectful grandma's, mothers ,sisters, aunties, female teachers, female neighbors, female friends came from because out of these people there are some whose husband's are below average financial yet they get the King treatment and even get away with a lot of things. I hardly see these women call their husbands by name or look in their husbands eyes, some bend to serve or greet their husbands and some have lost record of money their husbands "borrowed" from them . I hardly see these women use "o" to address their husbands it is always "eh eh eh" .

The problem is the way these guys make it seem like women from their region make 100% women of Nigeria. Sadly they are the loudest bunch on this forum. Even the ratio scale he's projecting we know which region practice it, we have been abused for it as " strong sufferhead women" severally but hardly praised for it. Rather they will paint all women bad!

Sometimes when I read your post, I ask myself do you live your life trying to prove to anyone that cares to listen that women are better off without men?

My post was simply a counsel to young men (myself inclusive) urging them attain financial maturity before going into marriage.

It's as simple as that...I don't know why you ladies turn everything into a gender battle. What's your problem?

Would you marry someone who is struggling to find his bearing? If you answer is no, you're a hypocrite.

Magnoliaa:
And so made money seem like the most important thing to have.

You said most broken marriages are caused by finances, and I wanted to know how you reached that conclusion. As well as what you mean by broken. Like in your own opinion.
A broken marriage could either be one where the couples are divorced, bitterly separated or still staying together in the marriage but not connected emotionally anymore, and so there could be a situation where both partners fulfil their financial responsibilities to each other, and the marriage would be far from being a marriage in other respect.

The bolded is where I'm going to focus on.

Lack of finances can easily make a woman cold towards her husband. She would loose the respect she has for him, deny him sex, if she's still in shape, she can even start keeping men who would be bankrolling her. And in some instances move out of the house...

For the man, lack of finances or job loss would make him moody, some might seek solace in alcohol. He would easily get angry over nothing by transferring his aggression on his wife and kids.

Finally you were asking what broken home means. If you mistakenly throw a glass or ceramic cup on the floor it would shatter. No matter how hard you try to patch it, you would never be able to re-assemble it back to its original state.

Same with a broken home. Once there is a break in finances, (let's say for instance the man looses his job) the home would shatter and loose it's structure. Why if you might ask? Because the whole financial responsibilities would fall on the woman, she might not complain initially, but with time, she would begin to verbally express her displeasure towards the man. She would disrespect him, deny him sex, compare him with his friends who are doing fine...etc.

The man might struggle to get back on his feet, but the traumatic experience he had with his wife would leave him in a capricious state. Thus it's safe to say that the home is broken. Because like the glass cup, it would be impossible for it to return back to its original playful and loving state.

folake4u:
Yen yen yen.

What language is this? This is so wrong. We were communicating in English language and you're speaking another language.

You've broken rule 21. I'll mention the mods to ban you. 😜

Magnoliaa:
I have not even finished reading this post, but the blanket statements are turning me off already.

They why post if you didn't bother to finish reading.

Magnoliaa:
Is it not getting married out of necessity that pushes people to cheating? I would have expected the post to address how there are many ingredients for a successful marriage. Espousing either of money or love as the most important thing is what will always lead to issues.

I clearly stated in my original post that my write-up was triggered by a friend's tragic experience. So everything thing I wrote there was to counsel young people so that they won't make the same mistake he (my friend) made. Perhaps, if you had taken your time to read my original post you would have see it.

Magnoliaa:
So if financial security is guaranteed, there'll be no more problems?

And did you really say (most) broken marriages are caused by finances? What does broken means here? Because they're many couples who are living together and fulfilling their responsibilities to each other, like robots, but there's no love shared between them. And where will you rank infertility, infidelity, abuse, children rebellion, family interference, etc., on the scale of marital issues? What data is backing such claim up here in Nigeria?

My post is specifically centered around finances. If you have knowledge of other areas where if neglected can lead to a broken marriage, kindly share them with us, I would be happy to learn.

This post was triggered by a friend of mine who is passing through hell in his 3 year old marriage. His wife made him believe that money isn't everything and he ignorantly got married to her in his indigent state. She stopped respecting him a long time ago. As I'm typing this, she has left him with their 1 year old daughter in Lagos and relocated back to Uyo.

So let's talk about money in courtship, Because you will need plenty of it in marriage.

Those who are of the opinion that all that matters in marriage is love not money are not serious! In fact I'd like to term them as jokers. Why? Because love won't pay your bills and put food on the table.

Women naturally respect financially buyouant men. Or in simpler terms, men who have money.

So don't let any woman manipulate you into marriage when you are not financially ready simply because age is fighting against her, because if you succumb to her pressure and get married to her, you are in for a Shocker

Women can sweet tongue you into doing what you don't want to do and blame you for being stupid to listen to her in the first place.

Before any lady corner you and tie you down in forced matrimony, ask the following questions...

1. How much do you both earn monthly? How much will you require to run your marriage monthly? Take inflation into consideration, and calculate how much you will spend on rent, feeding, utility bills, transportation, medicals among others.

2. Who pays the running bills monthly? The husband, the wife or both of you? At what percentage? 50/50, 60/40, 70/30? Discuss it with your Partner.

3. How long will you both work as salary earners? Any plan to invest in other businesses? What does it take? How much of your fiance will it take? What type of sacrifice will it require?

4. Will you engage in monthly savings? If yes, how much percentage of your salaries would go into savings?

5. Will you be operating a Joint or Separate accounts? Discuss this with your partner.

6. If you are running a business; How much does it generate monthly? Would she join you in running it when you get married? If yes how best can you two grow your monthly income?

7. What are your yearly Financial goals? How do you both plan to achieve them?

8. Do you believe in paying tithe, first fruits, offerings and sowing special seeds? You need to discuss this with your partner, so you can both plan ahead whenever the need for such financial commitment arises.

9. What percentage of your income will be going to your parents or siblings monthly? Discuss this with your partner. It's very important.

10. When CHILDREN start coming, how MUCH will you need to take good care of them monthly? Would you want them to attend public school or private school, are there affordable Private schools in your neighborhood where you can enroll them, what percentage of your earnings or savings would they require monthly to see them through nursery and primary school. Would government secondary school be better for them or private? Would public universities be better or private or abroad? These are things you must iron out with your partner before getting married.

Plan your FINANCES before getting married.

Set up your self for Financial growth not Financial failure in marriage.

Most broken marriages occur due to lack of finances or poor financial planning from one or both couples.

Contract marriage is for extremely wealthy people. Janet Jackson made $200m from an Arab billionaire courtesy of the contract marriage she had with him.

Such can't occur in Nigeria because of our cultural and religious values.

You're living in Nigeria and you know how dishonest Nigerians are when it comes to money.

You shouldn't have left without confirming the cash inflow.

Secondly, the receipt he gave to you was fake. You should have told him to send it to your WhatsApp number, then you'll carefully examine it. If he doesn't agree to send it, raise alarm and hungry and angry Nigerians would carry the matter on their head for you.

If you waited for over 10 minutes and didn't see the alert, angrily demand that he gives you cash. Make so much noise so as to attract passers by. Believe me, he would vomit that money.

Sorry for your loss. Next time, be wise.

folake4u:
Lol. It took you three good days to reply me after that nasty match you guys played.

Console yourself very well.

Lol...I've been very busy.

I don't need to console myself. We're currently better than Chelsea. That's all I need to know.

folake4u:
Ten Hag and lack of TACTICAL AWARENESS in situations like yesterday's match.

Nazgul, e better make you go dey hawk okpa for airport than to support Shame Chester United.

Manu is currently sitting on top of Chelsea in the league.

We're playing champions league. Chelsea didn't even qualify for Thursday night football.

Yet you de run mouth.

Just tell me that you want to start Okpa business and I'll support you.

Vinnie2000:
Basket of Rice..N5000- N5700
Spaghetti. N450-N700. 😯🤨
Basket of Beans. N2400-N2800
Garri. N1200-N1500
Oral B Toothpaste. N300-N450.
Indomies. N350-N450.
Ikg of Gas. N700-N1100
Etc.🙂


Which PRICE of Items do you Find Surprising?🤔🙂

Nplfmod.

This your post is old. Most of the prices of commodities here have tripled.

Do they sell rice in basket? I've never heard of such before. I know they sell it in Derica, Bushel, Mudu...etc. I've never heard of basket.

Spaghetti isn't N700. The golden Penney spaghetti I do buy is N1,100.

Oral B isn't N450. The last one (family size) I bought was 1k.

Nigeria is sinking.

Timagex:
If a captain of the Nigerian army truly committed suicide, then, something is seriously wrong somewhere!!

Captain o!! Very important rank!!

The picture up there is obviously from when he was still a lieutenant. That's two stars.

RIP to the fallen soldier man.

Yea, he's putting on a lieutenant rank. Captain is 3 stars.

Captains are middle ranked officers...so my best guess is that he got himself into a mess with his superiors and felt suicide was the only way out, or he was secretly eliminated, or he was tired of the country like most people are.

Bliss62:
Go to Ikoyi registry and see them renting suites and wedding gowns

Do people rent suit?

Any guy doing a cooperate job ought to have a minimum of at least 3 suits.

All he needs to do is to dry clean one and wear on his wedding.

MrPOTUS:
Oga you're dumb.

Mention d matches city had been favored.

Compared to Arsenal, man u, Liverpool, Chelsea and d rest.

Or STFU

Typical lazy Nigeria youth. You've started shifting the goal post.

This is your post below.
👇

MrPOTUS:
Losers always have excuse.

So British will favor Arabs over themselves, how dumb you are

And I replied you by telling you how England is the only club in Europe that favours their players over foreigners.

I expected you to provide a superior argument to counter my claims in my original post. Or even to prove that preimer league referees don't officiate in Saudi league.

Rather than shock me with a reasonable reply, you're hear beating around the bush by avoiding my argument an expecting me to do your assignment for you.

This would be my last reply to you. Since it's obvious that your empty brain cannot comprehend what I posted, kindly avoid my mentions.

MrPOTUS:
Losers always have excuse.

So British will favor Arabs over themselves, how dumb you are

Lol... you're dumber than I thought.

If you must know, the English FA passed a rule that all the top clubs in England must have not less than 6 England national players. No top club in Europe does this. If that doesn't look like them favouring their own over foreign players, I don't know what else to say to you.

Secondly, do I look like a Chelsea or an arsenal fan to you?

I posted an obvious fact that the British FA has turned a blind eye on simply because they're gaining heavily from it, rather than investigate my claims, you didn't disappoint me as the lazy Nigerian youth that you are by rushing to throw insults, rather than prove me wrong.

There's something I noticed about Manchester City and Newcastle, and why referees always blow in their favour.

1. Their owners are Arabs.

2. Arabs have invest heavily in their premier league, so the English FA respects them so much because of the billions they're pumping into the British economy.

3. Saudi Arabia usually invite premier league referees to officiate their league and pay them more than double of what they earn in England.

This is why if you're playing against these 2 teams, expect horrible officiating. The referee can easily award them a soft and controversial penalty, flash you a controversial red card, disallow a clear goal you score...etc.

Take a look at the match between Newcastle and arsenal, you'll understand what I'm saying.

These 2 teams since last 2 seasons I started observing them, have never experienced bad officiating in the premier league since their Arab owners took over. Every decision is always in their favour.

If you must defeat them, it must be very clear, cos the referee would always be against you.

Just report him anonymously to the appropriate authorities. Make sure you do it as descreet as possible so he doesn't know you're the one who filed the report or else your stay in that house would be hellish.

Tallesty1:
Nazgul go be like "shey unah dey see am"

Lol

Cc pocohantas

Imagine one of the world's largest producers of crude oil resorting to importation simply because corruption has made it impossible for them to meet their daily target of crude oil production.

I read somewhere that NNPC would sell crude oil to dangote in naira. So what's this issue of importing of crude we're hearing?

These people are just looking for an excuse to sell their fuel expensive when their refineries kicks off.

gr8t:
Can A Man Live In His Wife Parent House After Marriege! In One Of Their Flats?

A young man is having problem with his parent over the issue of him moving into his wife's parent house. They had live in his own parent house for a while before renting their own apartment but now the seems to be having problems financially and my kinded advice is that they move into the flat offered by the wife's parent till they are able to sort themselves out!

Guys what do you think.

If he's paying the rent for the flat, he can move in. But if they're inviting him to stay there for free, I won't advice him to accept such offer.

One has to be very wise when dealing with in-laws so as to maintain the respect they have for you.

mariahAngel:
They have nowhere to go? Where did they come from before they were married?
Did they fall from the sky?

I'm talking from a financial POV.

Some, their parents are deceased, and their siblings are all married. And to make matters worse, they are not financially buyouant to sustain themselves alone.

pocohantas:
Ah, some of them are grown o. I know like 4 that are way into their 30s. But since you say they are jambites, I would agree with you and ignore them.

Happy Sunday. I hope you cooked rice today.

Happy Sunday...I didn't cook o. I'll eat outside as usual. Hopefully when madam comes, we'll be eating Sunday rice.

pocohantas:
But you know that is what Nigerian men expect. I have seen posters here saying any woman who can't tolerate cheating shouldn't marry. When you disagree with them, you are automatically a feminist. I saw that thread and scrolled past it.

Naija women wey like marriage pass their lives would just up and leave? Believe that and you will believe anything.

The truth is that no woman can behave that way to her husband unless there's an unsettled grudge in their home.

As for guys saying any woman who can't tolerate cheating shouldn't bother to get married, you'd be shocked that most of the people making such comment jambites who still eat mama thank you and have absolutely no idea of what accountability in marriage means. Best is to ignore them.