₦airaland Forum

I hope you wrote down the intended address, and saved the whole transcript.

Your hubby to be could either be a fraud, or he could be getting cold feet and creating a back up plan.

Don't take this matter to the whole family, as that will not help things. Since you are not leaving him it makes no sense to put your relationship issues on blast.

What's wrong?

^^^ Awww!

Be patient with your mother, she just doesn't want to lose out on the dream she has for your life. You may think she doesn't understand you and doesn't know what will make you happy, but as many older people will tell you, she can see the big picture in a way that your 20 year old mind cannot even fathom. From your posts on here about your wide variety of goals for your life it is clear that you are a regular direction-less youth. At one point I was there too. Like you I had a mother breathing down my back and I'm glad that I did. School is not easy but compared to the real world, school is a piece of cake.

Stay in school. Reduce your courseload if you must, but stay in school.

toyemz:
@op

looks like you 've got the proper thinking cap on

well here's my little bit:
In that paragraph alone, there are 3 major lies
=Him losing his job, just because he returned to work late, he would  have been served a disciplinary letter, or if it were that serious suspended while investigations were going on
-he paid 2300.00 for a 3 year lease in Lagos really?
he is begging for money and asking for 500 dollars,such a greedy beggar

well here goes,
the fact that he is so willing to dump you just because you refused to send him the money should only prove to you that that is what he ever wanted in you and also he likely has some one else on the go that he is feeding the same lies to
don't send him the money ,once you start he is going to feed  you with more sympathy stories and may directly  or indirectly ask you for money

on the other hand ,tell him you will send him the money and then don't just count the number of phones calls he will make to you

my sister don't be fooled. This guy is one of the notorious jobless scrammers that litter cyber cafes in Lagosls don't be deceived

My thoughts exactly. OP you are wise not to have sent the money. Some women would be so caught up with "love" that they end up broke and still alone.

Smart girl, Since u are in Oaklahama and he is in Nigeria, I would be very careful of knowing a random person overseas for 3 months and sending them $500. Even if he lived down the street from you he shouldn't be asking you for something like that.

Those are some nice babies! @freecocoa: the two boys up there are adorable. @inked @3andy: those girls are some cutie pies!

apocalypse:
Exxcuuuusssseee me , hating on my nephew? girl I taught him all the swag he knows , I put the afro in aphrodisiac , my swag is so tight P.Diddy takes lessons from me. I'll give you chocolatey babies , hell I'll give you milky , creamy or almondy babies if you want , just holla me and we can roll

queensmith:
nekai. did you make your babies outfits? too cute!

all the babies are gorgeous, im still in no hurry! :p

Nope I didn't, but I love them!

apocalypse:
@Nekai

Beautiful boys you got there

Thanks 

[quote author=Mr, Cork link=topic=799767.msg9927116#msg9927116 date=1326117740]beautiful? I give up!! [/quote]

BlackPikiN:
[flash=400,400]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxU5NCPTY7g[/flash]

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/s320x320/396784_10150683257429408_523034407_12270164_127251280_n.jpg

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/403075_10150683326864408_523034407_12270279_1190060157_n.jpg

Congrats!

simpleseyi:
Allahu Akbar. The Lord has proven again that He is still as He was in the time past. The same yesterday, today and forever. My wife gave birth to a bouncing baby boy on Xmas day. If you will recall, my wife is a Xtian while am Muslim. The naming ceremony was on 1st of January and the special boy has been named Mohammed Emmanuel. Now, can you all see that GOD has special uncommon love for my family? We married for LOVE and GOD is living permanently with us. Halleluyah!

Beautiful! God Bless you and your family!

;d ;d ;d

Get a new, private FB and change your number.

Perx,

No advice, just ((HUGS))

For you to still have a positive disposition means that you must have the patience of Job.

Good luck and God bless!

Tell your ex that u had a dream, You dreamed about him and now you and him need to be together. Chase him until he agrees to be with you. Call him all hours of the day and night professing your love for him. Tell him you want 8 children and you want to get married right away. Tell him that you are lonely and you can't live without him. Be the girlfriend from hell.

I think he's chasing you because you are running, and also he secretly wants you back badly. Give him a triple dose of what he wants and when he breaks up with you, beg him back day and night. (Laughing all the while)

quid:
I'm close to my immediate elder sister, and I was 'deeply disturbed' by the troubles she had in her first pregnancy.

The delivery pain was so much for her that she actually bit the doctor (the poor man had just had to endure the bite and keep being 'professional').
I am not a doctor myself, but I keep hoping that some genius will come up with a way of drastically minimizing labor pains.

Too funny!

Scary! Mental illness is a horrible thing.

conquerorb:
my joy knew no bounds.i was grining from her to ear callin and tellin all my friends about it.i juas cldnt stop looking at the boy who look very much like me.feel free to share yous.

How nice, I had to smile reading this.

Used clothes are not as bad as you would think, since babies only stay in one size for a short period of time. I bought two boxes of used clothes, and I paid the equivalent of N6000. They lasted for the first 5 months. In fact some of the clothes were never even used. Babies grow so fast and I'm glad I didn't spend a fortune.

I hope you find what you are looking for!

Awww. . . Cheer up and go for more testing. The damage done may be healed by now.

Also, don't go back to your ex. He has proven that he will be useless in hard and stressful times. Tell him that have forgiven him a long time ago, but that you don't want to dwell in the past. Go for testing before you answer the current guy's proposal. Be open with him about what the doctors say. If he runs away, it's better now than later. If he stays you will know that he is 10X the man your ex was.

You are right 100%. If he asked you for money to buy a gun to rob the nearest bank out of desperation for cash, the answer would be a clear no.

He should be grown up enough to do what he has to do to secure his own funds. Don't you hate it when people ask you for money as if you are the last person in the world and they will just die if you don't cough it up?

Don't make it easy for him. This friend of yours got the benefit of the 'action', let him now feel the consequence. Trust me he will be more careful next time.

What is wrong with your stepchildren? I would think that after 8 years you would love them as your very own, and you barely mention them and how they will be hurt by all of this. They lost their biological father that they barely remember and now they stand to lose you, the only father they have ever really known. Your wife wants to have a secure future for her children first and foremost. If she thinks you don't have genuine concern for them then she will do whatever it takes to make sure they don't suffer (ie. taking them to their biological family who love them, and securing property in case something happends to her).

From a woman's perspective I will tell you that your girlfriend doesn't trust you and she knows that if you are willing to cheat with her, you will cheat on her. What if she can't get pregnant? What if she has a miscarriage or still birth? What if the child has a physical/developmental problem? That's a whole lot of pressure.

Since she did not intend to date a married man, her love for you ended the day you told her that you were married to and sleeping with another woman. Her heart and soul is not into you the same way anymore, even though she feels for you. She may be pursuaded to marry you but she will not truly love you, which only sets you up for being cheated on. Cut her loose so she can find true love because she knows you are clinging to her out of desperation to leave your marriage and the desire to have your own child.

Leave the girlfriend and make a sincere effort to fall back in love with your wife. Your wife distrusts you because she can sense that you have one foot out the door. If you start to show her and the children genuine (undivided) care and love she will not refuse to pursue other options. If she tried IVF which is costly and also painful, it shows that she was willing to try at some point.

You can't win over the girlfriend because the relationship has no solid base to fall back on like your marriage does. You are not the man she fell in love with. Fight for your marriage. It is the hardest option you have but it will bring you the most reward.

You can't blame her pastor. After all he is just afraid that a man outside the church might cause her (and her tithe money) not to come back.

afrobaby:
@harakiri, can I ask u a question
Are u a divorcee or have u been heartbroken before?
your response will determine what I will think of u really

Heartbroken? Harakiri? You have to have a heart first before it can be broken.

[quote author=cheetah@02 link=topic=774327.msg9278639#msg9278639 date=1317797261]I am ready to forfiet everything now for my happiness.[/quote]It's my firm opinion that you will forfeit everything and still end up unhappy. The 80-20 principle.

http://akssara..com/2008/10/do-not-look-back-and-ask-why-look.html

In most cases, especially in relationships, you will only get 80% of what you NEED and you will hardly get the other 20% that you WANT in your relationship. There is always another person (man or women) that you will meet and that will offer you the other 20% which is lacking in your relationship that you WANT And believe me, 20% looks really good when you are not getting it at all in your current relationship.

But the problem is that you will always be tempted to leave that good 80% that you know you have, thinking that you will get something better with the other 20% that you WANT

But as reality has proven, in most cases, you will always end up with having the 20% that you WANT and loosing the 80% that you really NEED and that you already had.

Be careful in deciding between what you WANT and NEED in your life.

Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have. 'Wow, this girl in my office is a real looker. But it's not her Wynona Rider features that got me. I'm crazy about her because she's also understanding, intelligent, tender - so many things that my spouse is not'

Somewhere along the way, you'll find a woman or a man who will be more charming or sensitive. More alluring. More thoughtful. Richer. Have greater appeal. And you will find a woman or man who will need you and pursue you and go loco over you more than your spouse ever did.

Because no wife or husband is perfect. Because a spouse will only have 80% of what you're looking for. So adultery takes place when a husband or wife looks for the missing 20%. Let's say your wife is melancholic by nature.

You may find yourself drawn to the pretty clerk who has a cherry laugh no matter what she says: 'I broke my arm yesterday, Hahahaha . . , '

Or because your wife is a homebody in slippers and pajamas, smelling of garlic and fish oil, you may fall for a fresh-smelling young sales representative that visits your office in a sharp black blazer, high heels, and a red pencil-cut skirt Or because your husband is the quiet
type, your heart may skip a beat when you meet an old college flame who has the makings of a talk show host.

But wait! That's only 20% of what you don't have.

Don't throw away the 80% that you already have!

That's not all. Add to your spouse's 80% the 100% that represents all the years that you have been with each other. The storms you have weathered together. The unforgettable moments of sadness and joy as a couple. The many adjustments you have made to love the other. The wealth of memories that you've accumulated as lovers.

Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have.

But faithfulness happens when you start thanking God for what you already have.

But I'm not just talking about marriage.

I'm talking about life!

About your jobs.
About your friends.
About your children.
About your lifestyles.

Are you like the economy airline passenger that perennially peeks through the door of the first class cabin, obsessed with what he's missing? 'They have got more leg room! Oh my, their food is served in porcelain! Wow, their seats recline at an 80% angle and they've got personal videos!'

I guarantee you'll be miserable for the entire trip! Don't live your life like that. Forget about what the world says is first class. Do you know that there are many first class passengers who are miserable in first class -- because they are not riding in a private Lear Jet?

The main message

If you start appreciating what you have right now, wherever you are, you are first class!

QUOTE : DO NOT LOOK BACK AND ASK WHY, LOOK FORWARD AND ASK WHY NOT