₦airaland Forum

Leorichy:
seems you are yet to "get home"

Maybe the 'home' is referring to heaven. The place is far.

After 24hrs, let him be declared missing.

Lizzyangel:
why do we have freedom to personal and family life in the constitution?
must he go through his wife's phone?
note:I'm not blaming him but he shouldn't have done so in the first place, if the wife is plotting evil against him and he kept been the good hubby, it's either she end up harming herself or personally decide not to listen to her siblings again,
now he listened to everything and will never forget even if he forgives

Please, are you married?

Ok

cococandy:
Off the top of my head, 1) having a cheating habit, 2) planning to get a second wife, 3) being violent towards her....

But the thing is OP hasn't done any of these according to his story. In fact his family loves her. And they have been happy together.
I'm really curious to know what on earth prompted her actions. Out of the blues she turned into a cold calculating back stabber. And he's taking it lightly. Glossing over it. Like seriously his wife was secretly planning to start something elsewhere to sustain her when she moves on without him and he hasn't bothered to know why she wants to abandon him out of the blues.
Read this:

The only thing I can think of is that she doesn't love him anymore, has probably found another man and is perfecting plans to leave OP high and dry. But that is me just guessing.

But I'm curious he doesn't want to know why she planned such in the first place. Patching up things without getting to the root it means it will just crack later.
Why is he so blaśe about such a big deal? Or does he know and is giving us half information?

Yeah. Since he's taking the issue lightly, he needs to spill it all out.

cococandy:
So OP did you find out why she did what she did? I bet I'm not the only one who's curious.

Can you please suggest what a man can do to his WIFE that would warrant such reaction?

cherriex:
After reading ops line of action,I shook my head,and I began to doubt this story.

Exactly. If the story is true, good luck to him.

The OP is sad but not scared of his wife which makes me have a rethink he must have triggered something. Well, good for him.
If she's carrying a baby, and there is a plan for her to relocate to a certain place, what are the odds the OP owns the baby?
But since he's not scared and taking stuff with hands of levity, then I can only say "good luck"

Fast tip: watch channel 171 (IDx) on DSTV for a week straight, you would know you're heading for the grave.

Very sorry for any damage which may have resulted from your twerking...

Your dearest future ex-husband

Let me chill until my wife comes and reads this for me. I can't read abbreviated texts...very difficult.

Murder. It is never possible for a man to hang himself with his feet touching the ground...clothe on his shoulder? Come on. Too easy.
Pure murder.

Eeyah

miqos02:
why sir?

Sometimes, there are communal clashes between Offa and Erinle hence the presence of soldiers on the borderline...but relatively, the area is peaceful. Some miscreants just can't stay out of trouble...

suzan404:
[font=serif][i]1. When you suddenly see cartons of juice and you
know visitors are coming.






[font=serif][i]It’s going down.

What is going down?

Congratulations.
Don't rent your house on the border with Erinle.
All the best.

Do I blame them? No.
Nigerians would rather read celebrity gossip than educational (academic) or sound relationship blogs like https://nifemiolu..com

So the market is available for them.

Waiting...

How many attended driving school?

pippimp:
Being cheeky is not a good quality.

Lol. Being cheeky in football terms means disrespecting your opponents by pulling stunts; those stuff Okocha and Ronaldinho do. That's being cheeky in football sense

Great.
I knew England won't go far.
How can Sterling and Kane...come on. Vardy is more rugged and Sturridge is cheeky but then the manager doesn't know what he's doing.

Adaure4ever:
This Ozodi Osuji is a mentally deranged man who has never visited his hometown in Imo for over 25years.
All he does is to sit his ass in USA and be insulting Igbos, Africans, Obama and the Black Americans.
He is a non-entity that should be Ignored.

Lmao....quite funny

[ABRIDGED VERSION]

Contemporary Africans are like their ancestors who sold their people into slavery; nothing has changed in their character structures. If this assessment of Africans seems has and overstated then let us look at Africans behaviours in the past one thousand years and see if it shows anything but mutual disregard.

History books tell us that around 900 AD, Arab Muslims reached West and East Africa and began buying African slaves. Africans easily obliged Arab wishes for African slaves. The few African potentates who converted to Islam and went on pilgrimage to Mecca went with thousands of slaves that they sold to the Arabs. Those who loved their people did not sell them into slavery. Africans did not love their people hence sold them into slavery.

In my part of Africa, Alaigbo, in the 1600s, a particularly vicious and amoral group, Aro, who lived at the boundary between Igbos and Efiks, entered into an unholy alliance with Efiks, who lived at the Atlantic coast hence directly traded with Europeans, to capture their fellow Igbos and sell them into slavery. These benighted people hired other groups, such as the Abam, as their mercenaries, to roam Igbo land, kidnapping slaves and bringing them to Arochukwu, to be sold into transatlantic slavery.
Slave trading in Africa, in one form or another, lasted into the early 1900s. In 1902, for example, the British (Lugard’s West African Frontier Army) stormed Arochukwu and their so-called Long Juju and finally dispersed the slave selling criminals.

Much of the history of the British in Nigeria during the late nineteenth century was centred on trying to prevent Nigerians from selling each other into slavery. They had to remove Oba Kosoko of Lagos for he insisted on selling his people into slavery; they had to exile Jaja of Opobo for he specialized in selling Igbo slaves.  The Royal Niger Company (later called the United African Company, UTC) sought ways to replace selling of people with other commodities, such as palm produce, rubber and cocoa.
I believe that this historical disregard for one another is carried over into contemporary Africa. African politicians, in the main, do not consider political offices as from which they served their people. Like their slave selling ancestors, contemporary Africans seek political offices to gratify their narcissistic and antisocial desires. Their ancestors sold their people and used the money they obtained to buy European wines and African titles. In Alaigbo, they sold their people to buy the title of Ozo, and that made their warped minds seem like very important men. Today, Africans seek political office to seem like very important men, not to serve their people. As a matter of fact, they see political office as from which to steal their people’s money and use it for their own good. I am yet to see a Nigeria who sought political office because he actually has an agenda of what he wants to do for his people.

Those who love their people do not steal from them, do they?  I submit that Africans do not love their people, and that, in fact, they actively hate their people!

(The hatred I saw Nigerians shower each other on Naijapolitics forum was enough proof that these people are haters rather than lovers. In the one year that I participated in that forum, not one of them attempted to know who I am as a person. Their primary goal was to attack you; they are not actuated by love but hate. They seek ways to hurt each other. A healthy mind asks: how can I help you, not how can I hurt you. These people are sick minds! They need healing; love is what heals us; they need to be taught to love one another.)

Africans hostility towards their fellow Africans is incredible. In fact, you can relate to these people and not experience any act of love from them. All they do is seek ways to use you, exploit you, steal from you, desecrate you and ultimately kill you. Contemporary Africans are still slave sellers; they are evil beyond belief. It is time we called a spade a spade and stopped beating about the bush; Africans are an unloving people. (If you want to keep your sanity, you must keep some emotional distance from Africans; and, hopefully, from that space teach them the meaning of love.)

One, therefore, expects some Africans to profess that they do not hate themselves and that my thesis is wrong. They said the same thing in response to Kenneth Clark’s studies showing that black Americans preferred white to black dolls.  Despite their denials, we still see black Americans who prefer everything white and yet tell us that they love everything black!

We see Nigerians who would die to live in the white man’s land and yet tell us how proud they are as Nigerians! They are so proud of their country that they are fleeing from it, trying to smuggle into Europe and North America! In North America they perform menial jobs and are essentially modern slaves. In America, self-hating Nigerians hate black Americans, whom they call Ndiakata (those who fight a lot, troubled people). If you are with Nigerians all you hear is their derogatory talk about black Americans. Black Americans do the same to them, for the black man, worldwide, does not like his people; both Africans and African Americans admire white folk.

One expects folks who feel that their self-worth has been attacked to fight back and show that they do not hate themselves. However, while they are at it, may one remind them that the sign of self-love is love of one’s neighbours? Let us see Nigerians who love their neighbours and show that love by serving their needs rather than stealing from them.

In America, we hear a lot of talk about black pride and love for everything black. But these very black Americans sell drugs to each other; drugs with which they destroy their lives.  These “I am black and proud’ crowd mug each other and, indeed, kill each other like they are flies. Homicide in black neighbourhoods is highest in America. Washington DC, a virtually black town, is the murder capital of America. These people drive by and kill innocent fellow blacks and apparently do not lose sleep over their actions. It is as if they see each other as nothing important and their death does not matter.
President Olusagun Obasanjo’s late wife, Stella, (thou should not malign the dead) bleached her black skin to white.

My thesis is probably going to be unacceptable to proud Africans. Some of them probably will say that they love being black. We have heard that one before. Michael Jackson so loves his black body that he bleached it white, so loves his black nose that he cut it to make it look like white folk’s noses, so loves his black woolly hair that he straightens it to make it look like white folk’s hair, so loves blacks that he married a white woman to have fair complexioned children. Michael Jackson having behaviourally attempted to be white looks a reporter in the face and tells him that he is proud of his blackness. That man has so told himself lies that he is not only living a lie but is a lie!

Africans live lies and are deceiving no one but themselves. These lying Africans will be the most vocal ones telling us that they do not hate themselves. You do not hate yourself indeed when at every opportunity you kill your fellow Africans and take joy in desecrating other Africans as the self-hating neurotics do on naijapolitics forum. Hitler saw himself as healthy and saw other people as sick. Of course all of us have our neuroses; a realistic person accepts his own neurosis and seeks healing for it, rather than denies it and sees other people as the sick ones.

In conclusion, I think that African politicians and Africans in general hate themselves and that contributes to their homicidal behaviours towards one another.

It is when Africans examine their minds and appreciate the self-hatred hidden in the inner recesses of their minds, if you like, in their unconscious minds, cathected and replaced it with love for all human beings, that they would begin serving their fellow Africans good.

So, how do we go about replacing self-hate with self-love?


FOR THE FULL ARTICLE, VISIT http://chatafrik.com/articles/american-affairs/do-africans-find-it-easy-to-kill-each-other-part-2

Wow...I now agree. FP is totally trash. Will be back next week.

...

JonTal:
Parents here should read and take note of everything said in this thread. Nice one, @NifemiOlu

Yes. Absolutely.
Hopefully lalasticlala and his team will do justice to the thread.

eye2sabi:
my brother u are the winner of the Internet today. this point of yours should be placed at no. 1

Lol. Thanks.

JonTal:
It just baffles me that a lot of very good threads in various sections of this forum are never taken to front page, whereas rubbish threads are displayed there daily. Wonder what jobs the mods do.

Er, I have mentioned lalasticlala so tey I don tire. Some of us take time to write our stuff carefully aiming to benefit people but the mighty ones of Nairaland...

The “all men are the same” cliché won’t go away soon because many women are finding themselves in different relationship dynamics they can’t phantom. Without regards to age, men act differently across board. These acts may help a woman determine if she’s with a boy or man.
WHEN HE IS A BOY
While on a date or something like just hanging out, he blatantly refuses to pay or he manipulates his way out of paying. His acts of paying for dating bills only come when it’s your birthday or something really special. Most males in a relationship would offer to pay but sometimes they’re out cash or something but a dude that’s being a boy will refuse to pay or take responsibility.
Most women want a committed dude but when you’re dating a boy, you would notice he can’t even commit to what he wants to do in the next 6hrs. He can’t even plan how his day is going to be in the next 24hrs. He will promise to take you to the moon yet he can’t decide what to eat in a restaurant. He tries on several pants before finally choosing. This dude doesn’t seem to understand that critical planning resonates through relationships.
While walking down the street together, he is caught sizing up a gorgeous lady (of his taste) and has lost consciousness of your presence. Whenever he sees a curvy woman, he can’t resist looking back. This dude probably fell for you because you flirted with so much and all in all, he places below his gadgets (FIFA, PES, PS, Xbox, car etc.)

WHEN HE IS MAN
While on a date or something like just hanging out, he insists on paying. It doesn’t matter if it’s a regular occasion or a special one. Most males in a relationship would offer to pay but sometimes they’re out cash or something but a man will show willingness to pay and may feel bad for not being able to pay the bills.
Most women want a committed dude and when you’re dating a man, you would discover that he is highly organised. He plans his day and week ahead. If there is a sudden change of plans, he copes with it well.
While walking down the street together or at a restaurant being served by a gorgeous lady, he is not even focused on her but friendly and respectful. This doesn’t mean he doesn’t appreciate beautiful ladies, he is giving you respect and class. This dude probably fell for you because you both have the same level of humour and you are at the centre of his dealings.

WHEN HE IS A GUY
While on a date or something like just hanging out, he 50s the bills. He may opt to pay for drinks while he requests that you pay food.
He is committed to the girl of the moment but then he is scared of it. While at a restaurant, he tips the sexy waitress more than usual. This guy probably fell for you because you have the looks of his perfect woman and he never jokes with his shoes, watches, collection of pictures of sexy women on the internet, fancy travel locations etc. You’re 50% on his mind. Everything about a guy is 50%

So ladies, what type of a male are you with?

Source: https://nifemiolu..com.ng/2016/06/ladies-is-he-boy-man-or-guy.html

Lastly, brethren, subscribing for Dstv Premium and using generator to watch at 145/L. Using your money to watch your money burn.

Marriages these days...

It's quite difficult to advise from afar but then the essence of marriage is what people miss.
The OP said he pays bills and does normal things a good man should do, fine. I also want to believe that the sex is good. You have kids. A seemingly perfect marriage. But have you examined the major reason for marriage?
The major reason for marriage is companionship. All other things (sex, kids etc) are value added services. Sadly, people marry for added value services. If companionship is intact, no marriage can fail.
Dear, Loveisblind, examine this aspect. It will assist you going in the right direction.

You can get more insight here: https://nifemiolu..com.ng/2016/02/marriage-other-side-and-order-side.html