₦airaland Forum

@onlysose

well atleast, they are not daylight killer, and do not teach their followers to kill others.  I once lived in Gombe and i know what it with ur so called religion.

I also lived in lagos, and i have muslims as neighbours and their own approach is quite different from what u guys do in the north.

U remember what ur holy brothers did to a corp member in Maidugiri your kule women who allow men dressed like women to come in to be with them , killer religious imam.

what more bondage do u envisage, let it be a political threat that u called it but anything more than that, we will defend ourselves and better advise ur people forthwith.

Enough is enough!

@18 Platoon

your posts, replies and suggestions plus ur uninformed arguement most times make me sick.

did u say, it was an advice? shaw! why would that advice come from the north when other states had underwent such rigors without rioting?

It would be better you defenders show example by dieing first.

I pity the Almajiris, poor uninformed people, under the boundage of ur religion, how many rich people in the north have their children in the almajiri class. You enjoy the internet and all the good things of life while they roam about begging for food and hoping for heavens that they wont see, only for u people to use them to fight innocent people.

God shall bring all of you to judgement. let them go ahead and kill all the so called non indegenes, lets see. No one is leaving sokoto, i have spoken! enough is enough! I have told my people, if any one tries, kill as many as u can. Its time for war.

We too will defend ourselves in our fatherland. Pronto.

I also wonder why a man in his right senses would leave the judge, the contenders and even the court to unleash terro on the innocent citizens and the so called "non-indegenes.  

what effect would that have, well i wish he would be the first to die in the riot at least to show his support for his chosen man. yeye.

Its also a test for sokoto government, if this man goes free with this statement, i am afraid, so much is on the way.

Yet some people are talking about one Nigeria.

Is this not an evidence that we dont belong to nation, culture and orientation.

Please let those who wish to be free from these trouble be given the opportunity to become thier own state Biafra, Arewa, Oduduwa.

By that we all become non -indegenes and respect each other.

At least when u are called non indegene, the adjective would perfectly match.

@windywendy



I won't handle anyone. I'll just simply "dash" him to her and get myself a better life. No cheat is worth the effort, and life's much too interesting to live in misery . And yeah, he'll be needing a good lawyer too.

I hail you my sister. I have conditioned my mind so, i am not gonna fight nobody, just make a life for myself and move on. have so many to achieve beside being married.

@ all, thanks for all the adivce, I will sure ponder on them all.

like ninapha said I will have to secure my future and my daughters b4 leaving if I have to, but the most painful thing is that he is thwarting all my efforts eg like the boy I brought to oversee the supermarket while in the office he sent him away.

The shop is ready, I am ready to stock it now nobody 2 oversee it.

u see my plight, he always wants to draw me back.


@poster
Hand the mangement of the supermarket over to ur trusted siblings to oversee while u sort urself out with him.

Most importantly, get hold of your emotion at this time, U alone understnds how it feels, I am an outsider but, i know what it is.

You sure do not want to go squating right, then create a time frame while u work things out.

Then if eventually u cant cope after considering all the weight, you sure can be incharge of your life and that of your daughter till u make a new home.

The STD? Treat it and insist he does or u have a good reason to stay away.

Cheating on u? Pretend it does not hurt even if it does, but make sure, u are looking good too.

Be sure u can defend ur leaving if u have to do. U can still win this battle. Best of luck.

When issues arises I try as much as possible to quench them by asking rather than calm down he will be the one playing the victim. Even though I have heaven and earth I know I should love and respect my husband.

Yes I  showed him the text messages and he said the sender mistakingly sent them to his phone whereas the GSM number is registered on his fone. sometimes he will say they are his friends gf. Infact he has become a super liar and I hate him so much for that. when I demand further explanations he start calling me names, that I am the one cheating and he will call a family meeting and ask me to confess my illicit affairs with men.   am already treating an STD, am really afraid and wants to leave but my mom said no.

That am enterprising shouldnt get into my head not to be submissive to my husband, that's why I like to carry him along.

I will try tips out thanks so much.


@poster

I appreciate your desire to make this marriage work and that is what a woman trained by a mother should do.  your mother knows better.

Leaving your matrimonial home is not as easy as most advisers are seeing it, most men out there would even reject u for the simple reason that u left, my own idea is try everything possible to:

stay married
have enough reason why u have to leave your hubby
make a long time plan for your future so long he is not punching you
crete your own enviroment,  who knows what u would meet outside if you go by the advice of leaving him.  

Stay there and work on your life and future, your mother understands it better.  Your life is what u make out of it, make a home and not a house and if possible see a marriage councillor for one on one talk.
You are not doomed yet. best of luck.

@ uplawal, Abu maryam, machine007 and 18 platoon,

No body has the right to take anothers life. If all our children get killed where would our future leader(islam, christians, Ibirom, Fulani, ibo and Nigeria come from)

There are really some issues, it wont be easy but you can have ur marriage back.

Thank God you are working for now.

I want to look at his complaints first.

Your being rude- have you tried to adjust in your ways of talking espeically when there are issues to settle? The fact that you are doing well and independent of him could create some aura of "i am ok" in you which he sees as act of being rude too. Some women are fond of this attitude.  


Trust:  you said u often see texts by other women, have u confronted him with it to show him your reasons for not trusting him.

Respect:  Are u sure ur enterprising poweress is not taking over your usual submission and that u are not doing things differently which he may be seeing as disrespecting him.  wherefore you are sure u have not failed in your own areas you can try some of these suggestions:

Be yourself and dont let the situation change you.  try to be happy else he thinks he is getting at you.  no matter how painful, try to be in control of your emotions, he would be wondering the source of your strenght and want to make up if he loves you.

2.  Always show the attitude of "this is my home" and not anyone can occupy here.  be in control, do your normal chores and serve the family in your capacity.

3.  Pray for him and let him know u do.

4.  Always ask him about his own business but dont pokenose.

5. Make savings for your children and make sure ur laying good moral foundations for them.

Drop love notes to show you still love him and make sure u are still alive romantically, perfumes, good hair dos, good treats etc.  best of luck

Thou shall reap what u sow! He who wants children should not kill children. They are innocent of all these. it is a pathetic site.

 I assure u those officers must have fallen out with the authorities that be.  Let them go to Anambra State where motorists are lined up like primary school morning assembly cos of N20, causing untold hold-up, what about Onitsha-Enugu Expressway, where passengers are  delayed.

Sorry officers, its just ur turn of show of shame.

@Pharoh,

I agree with u in totality.  Yar'dua for sure is not in shape as to delegate duties to Goodluck, so what ever delegation must be from yar'dua to Goodluck not from one "wife or errand boy-spokesman to VP".

They are just deceiving themselves, the truth would soon be known, just a little time more  whatever the case may be, my emotions and feelings of common Nigerian have been bastardaized to zero level.

Useless grey-hair villain calling themselves statesmen.

@ Poster,

They are infact some words above Scam!  They were sending interview invitation to me without me giving them any reply, I was suprised when I got a congratulatory mail that I passed the interview with a tele communication company that I should click to move to the next level.

I sure know I never took any online test, so how come passing a text, when u click, they would still take u back to the request to pay, they are pure fake.

@MRbrownJAY

Your analysis looked cute but yet incomplete. At what circumstance then could his problems be fixed?

I dont believe this story and if it is anything to go by, then my greatest fear is that Nigeria as a nation is in more serious problem than we envisaged.

OBJ would be indirectly telling Jonathan to loot as much as he can.  My own idea has been that Jonathan may do well just to pave his way to clinch the seat by 2011, wherefore he is not sure of  that seat, he would loot Nigeria sick before 2011.

And the problem is with the National Anthem

ARISE Oh compatriot
Nigerias' call obey
and OBJ and his cohort think they are among always.

Stark animals.

@ Poster

The truth I am sure you know. It is bad and could never be right.

I knew a lady who once did, though she had been married for over 16years without a child, that relationship gave her a son and everybody was happy for her but the hurt can never be erased cos it reminds her of the said man and what she did.

Morally, spiritually and otherwise, its wrong.

@Saharachic:


"You guys are just blaming the police. But what about the dead victim, what if he had restrained, his life would have been saved. wasnt that the right time for him to go call the police or vigilantes to handle the boys than taking it upon himself? didnt he trust his wife? wasnt it a party? would they go to a party like that and they would not dance? they would have known better."



Too loud a statement for a condition such as this.

four men asking to dance with a lady(married and with the husband beside her). Thank God you are a lady, so u would have opted to go dance with them. Or clapped for your husband if he had asked you to go dance with them. "You suprised me and your line of words hurt more than death.

Well if you are married, then you would know better.


I sure believe there was a plan to assasinate him using the wife as a bait. It is suspicious for four men to ask to dance with a lady. would one be at the back, another at the front, others left and right, how could four men dance with a lady if not looking for trouble.

And those asking why he went to such a "place" was he the only person there? why him, the fact is that another life has been snuffed out by the same "people".

@spiderman

I think it crosses every ones mind sometime, its not bad, be rest assured it crosses your spouses mind too. Its normal,
its like any other decision uve made in life and u wonder if u got it right. It doesnt neccesarily mean u feel any less bout the person; if anything, it makes u understand better your reasons for marrying him/her in the first place.
If u agree nobody is perfect and that we all have our short comings; then you cannot have a perfect husband or wife, what u have instead are good, considerate, tolerant and caring persons on both sides who have their doubts once in a while.

wrong person, wrong reason, which ever, ure bound to have those doubts once in a while.
know why??

cause we're human.


I love your piece, articulate and without pretense.

@poster,

it wont cross ur mind if u had just a suitor and no other option.

So long there were many and u chose him/her over others, one time it may cross your mind especially when u experience changes in behaviours.

sure in my 1st/2nd year.

@ Poster,

It worries me how unwomanly ladies have turned out to be.

it used to be a shame for a man to lay you and move on i dont know for now,

for a lady to describe how she was laid, OMG, the size of the man, Whako,

Civilization and open-eye, nawaaaaaaaaaaaaahooo

I see this post as a cover -up. I think the guy booted u and u just want to make-up stories to suit u. Immaturity!!!

Abeg! leave this your theory, what works for u may be a death warrant for another. there are no straight rules to relationships except love and submission other things the duo works out for themselves.

Too much theory dey cause wahala. Agreements and compromises work better.

UUUUUUUUUUUUUP DORA!!! Atleast, he has performed his first assignment as the minister of special duties. (BEGGING) . we are Waiting for his next assignment,

giving your children comfort does not stop you from impacting positive core values in them. Remember, someday, they would be what u allowed them make themselves.

The money may not be much but his attitude to his wrongs calls for concern. Oga do your duties. Ekwuchalam!

Thanks Prof.  I am proud of you.

its not enough to have gray hairs but to make it count.  yours is a blessing.

YES! YES!, DORA you are on the right track.

I am happy the minister in question is a laywer who I suppose understands the law of defarmation, innuendos and all that, let him speak up or face the Woman of VALOUR-DORA.

Talk-talk no dey pay all de time.

I want to know, Is it because the person cheating is the man that the children would have to remember he is their "father" if it had been the mother cheating, how would the children be advised" probably kick your mother, ohhhhh she is a disgrace and all that.

Be that as it may, what is bad is bad.

Please u can take these steps.

1. be sure of what u are accusing him of and try and make little finding about the lady
2. call your father to know why he is having extra-marital affair
3. if there is anything bothering him, assure him u would do everything to put it right.
4. look for those problems and act on them without letting your mouthy siblings
know what is happening
5. make sure u do not take sides with ur mum for sometime untill u see that its not
working.
6. try to always talk with him to know if things are getting better.
7. where all efforts fail, let him know he has disappointed his family and u people
should find a way to support your mum and make sure he sees u, ur siblings and
mother always happy together, he may want to come back. else let him be
8 DONT EVER LET HIS ACTIONS CUT UR FUTURE.

In most cases its like that. First talk with her to express how u feel. show her more love and understanding cos of her mutiplied chores.

most importantly make the environment conducive for expression of love. dont act "papa somebody" it draws women away, perfumes, flowers and suprises could make her feel eager again.

Dont forget good communication goes along ways to expose the mind.

U did not write in your post if there was agreement on how to run the family expenses as is mostly done in average income earning families.

There is no problem if u see to that area of the family expense while ur hubby takes care of the loan and other contigncies.

It is ok for your hubby to know your income, dont frown at it but u have the right to spend part of your income reasonably.

He is the man and should control the family as the head with love though sometimes, it could be frustrating but in submission u can make it work.

Then naturally individuals have one attitudnal problem or the other but its effects are dependent on your understanding of the person and ur ability to manage crises. learn how to manage his attitudes, if he shouts, learn to be careful with things, if he talks much during arguement, learn to keep quite.

Everyone in a relationship has a cros to carry to make it work.

Carry yours with perseverance, love and submission not forgething your knees. it is well

Dear Sister, for everything u hold dear, be real to urself. You claimed he cheated even before u said "I DO", and after years of fulfilling his obligations to u, u suddenly realised that u need a "peep" outside.

I want to categorically state that, you are only being carried away by the men that admire you and maybe u sudenly realised that u are still fresh but remember your vows.

He may not really be as hurt as u think when u cheat on him cos that may also open up ur weaknesses that he has been enduring but u would only hurt yourself the more cos those men would disappear once they enjoy you.


pls think of how to make ur marriage, lively, peaceful and u will forever thank God for your family.

You can stand against that lust.

Nigeria! see what you have turned even mothers to!

why? Cicil, You were suppose to be a role model in the banking world.

Where is your milk of motherhood to our nation?

poster, you failed to define the degree of absenteesm you were emphasizing on.

Anyway, in a case of a career father, who is in the same house with the children, he may mentor the children if he sees it as a priority.

But for a father who probably is in another country, it may not work effectively and these are the reasons.

Mentoring a child is more of shaping the attitude,giving orientations on issues, inculcating family values etc. and these can be achieved through correction, advise and living an examplary life.

Children mostly learn by observation so when the degree of absenteesm is high, the children take the likes of the person close to them especially in character and attitude to issues of life.