₦airaland Forum

CuteEmma:
Then go on and think about that... Shoooo!!!

It's not as if I want this topic to hit front page so it's not by force to comment.

lol. No vex, I don go.

Lalasticlala biko see if you can push this thread to fp

Vikky014:
LOL. my fiance will just be one of my male friends ok? am not contradicting myself. when a male friend upgrades himslf as my fiance we bcome separated from others and strt our marriage plans not having one guy for many years as a boyfriend in the name of someone special

hmmm... Such naivity. You'd be quite easy to get sha. He'd just just promise marriage, act serious about it and you'd fall for him like manna from heaven.

It's all good sha, as long as you do not try to act like you know what happens in every relationship.

kaboninc:
Lool!

Some of us have different views about LOVE and that's responsible for the "HAD I KNOWN".....

when I was young and foolish, I had fantasies about love. I thought it magical. It would just exist out of nowhere, and it's permanent and self-sustaining. No matter what the other person does, once in love always in love.

When one holds on rigidly to such fantasies and innacurate view of love, he'd likely jump from that extreme to another extreme (believing love doesn't exist at all) if he gets hurt.

Thankfully I didn't. Love exists and I'm still in it

Vikky014:
i hope you know that someone making his intention known matters alot. at least when a guy tells a girl his intention the girl in question will give him a feedback. you dont expect me to treat my fiance the way i treat others... fiance is quite different from male friends please in the former evrybody in the house already know that you are getting married to MR A. even your male friends will also be aware of that so that if they were nursing the feeling of marrying you they will retrace their step...Thanks

why contradict yourself? Earlier you said you'd treat all your male friends equally (so you don't chase others away), and marriage is different. Now you agree you'd treat one of them different because he has promised marriage, and the others would retrace their steps. What if he changes his mind afterwards? Wouldn't that be the exact same thing you are trying to avoid?

At least you are gradually coming into the light. You have to treat a future husband as special at some point before marriage. Quit the narrow-minded rant about relationships.

kaboninc:
You, IzonOwei, Oahray...are you guys in Love?

lol. Bros ask the question well o. It sounds like you are asking if a love triangle exists between us. I know that's not what you mean, but that's how it came out.

Vikky014:
marriage is a different ball game all together so that i treat all genders equally as a single lady does not mean i will do same to my hubby. so i dnt understand your advice about marrying all male friends

it was sarcasm, not an advice.

You think you know it all about life, guys and relationships. I'd like to see the male friend/fiancé that would be comfortable with your treating him no different from other male friends even after agreeing to marry him. Maybe you plan to jump from platonic friendship to marriage (all the best).

I know you are trying to avoid alot of dangers, but while the man who locks himself up in a little bulletproof box is wise enough to avoid death by gunshot, he'd still die of suffocation or starvation.

My point is, you have to be balanced and realistic. There are many paths to a sad outcome. Don't avoid one path simply by following the next one.

JhyMedex:
Hahaha... We r chemical beings n love is notin more Dan a chemical rxn induced by wat u see, hear or feel abt some 1...
However like all Chem rxns wen d inducing stimulus is removed d synaptic interactions u perceive as love will degrade n Jst like dt "U JST NT FEELING D PERSON AGAIN"
Love does exist....
The duration of love is however dependent on d duration of application of stimulus.....

lol. The chemistry of love. These chemists sef. Thoughts na chemical reaction too?

Vikky014:
in other words you must marry your girlfriend so you hv her as a girlfriend because you intend to marry her is ur parents and her parents aware of the relationship or is it a backyard relationship where you guys play hide and seek This still buttress my point that girlfriend boyfriend relationship is jst where two people experiment what married people do
most guys cant even buy a gift for their own mum but will spend money on their supposed girlfriend. they cant even give their younger ones the way they give to their girlfriend. and the so called girlfriend will just be using them as their ATM machine.


Anyway your life your business so live and let live

aunty abeg no vex, e don do. Marry all your male friends if you like, so you can treat them equally.

Just stop trying to define every romantic relationship out there when you've never been in one. It's ignorance-birthed arrogance.

IzonOwei:
thats the problem..many of our girls because of a few relationships they've been in makes them utter such self centered words..only God and her mother loves her...i laugh..and that same girl would still want to get married to frustrate a good loving man..

as in eh... I weak. Everyone else has to either create her or give birth to her to qualify as one who loves her. Because a husband cannot possibly fulfill either requirement, he stands no chance.

Marriage is not by force. People with this mindset shouldn't even get married, cos nothing the husband does would ever be good enough.

ronald4lif:
Too much sense in the write up. Makes a lotta sense. I've always affirmed that there's no such thing as true love in amorous relationship. It's just a temporal feeling which exist for as long as the other person dances to our rhythm. The earlier everyone realises this and flow with the tides like you said the better.

For everyone we claim to love wholeheartedly there's a reason behind it and once that reason evanesces then the love too dissipates like vapour. If true love existed there won't be any particular reason to love or get attracted to someone, it will just burgeon without a reason and maturate in form of a latency. There's no such thing as true love, it's all about vested interest.

bros, after you are done replying Olivia.arims, I'd like to know what you think love is. Not for argument purposes, just curious.

missyadorable:
Well said!For me,apart from God and my mother, nobody else loves me. Man and woman so called love is just scam,because of too much sex and what each person stands to gain!

wow! I hope any nice man planning to marry you gets to learn about this your viewpoint before he finds himself trapped in a loveless self-centred marriage.

henryhemon:
Love can't be equated with flower, like you said it means different thing to different people but true love is as straight as it can be not those illusions or different thoughts of man of how it should be. I agree with you that it has to be nurtured. Love isn't the problem it's us humans who are the problem.
.

an analogy is not a mathematical equation. I was illustrating, not equating.

Good for her. She shouldn't tell the world that every Nigerian wants to have an iPhone though. Android is the present and future.

Switched three consecutive babies at birth by mistake in a space of three years?


You could have come up with a better scenario if you wanted. Say an only child was switched, or something. This one is too unrealistic to give any serious thought to. I'd rather think of how to hatch a dragon egg when I find one.

Why does every random op think his shortsighted opinion has to become a standard for everyone? Importance is relative, and everyone has his own scale of preference. If it isn't important to you, it's important to some other persons. Learn to respect that.

What a dad!

Hmmm... To think I once argued with a guy that claimed most ladies have a rape fantasy. It turns out it's about the most popular excuse ladies give their unsuspecting partners. I thought it would be too horrible an experience to make up tales about

Op, if you consider your relationship serious, please make your research. Ladies in our part of the world would do ANYTHING to paint themselves innocent especially in sexual matters. Always has to be the fault of guys somehow.

Hmmm... Someone is wondering. Well, the world has become more sexually depraved and it's our collective fault.

Adverts now have sexual undertones even for unrelated even basic items.
People dress to look and feel sexy. The less you wear, the more fashionable you are.
Casual sex outside marriage is promoted as being okay just as long as it is consensual and one plays it safe. Voluntary virginity now is considered old-fashioned.

When one sees sex everywhere he turns, it's inevitable that he'd eventually get influenced somehow.

hahn:
You have to be specific. Do you mean a billion years? To fix a simple transformer or provide constant electricity is still a big problem

lolz. True sha

Toks2008:
Hmmm! Brilliant argument i must admit.

So apparently true love could actually exist until there is a tilt in the emotional balance occasioned by either of the two.Great.

I was actually looking at it from the less bias point of view even without a serious faltering meaning human love can easily be diminished unlike GOD's love that keeps blooming regardless of how many times we falter.

But i really love your insight.

lol @ "serious faltering." Humans are imperfect and love imperfectly.

I get your point sha, but not everyone laughs at the same joke. So I don't think there's any universally unserious faltering. My opinion tough.

Toks2008:
Honestly im trying so hard to comprehend your stance ..can you please explain better?

I do not agree with your opinion that once there's truly love between two persons at any point in time, it cannot ever become something else.

Let me use the example of love between God and man you praised as the perfect example of love.

God loved the nation of Israel so much (since they were descendants of Abraham through Isaac and Jacob) that he delivered them from Egypt even through the Red Sea.

The love was mutual at that point, and Israel vowed to obey God.

Yet God nearly wiped the whole nation out shortly after when they worshipped a Golden Calf. Much later, He promised the adults older than 19 would all die off in the wilderness for their lack of faith.

Sometime later, David stubbornly conducted a census and Israelites with no say in the matter died by divine pestilence. Then Jesus finished them off centuries later by saying their house have been abandoned to them for rejecting him.

If God's pure love can be influenced by the actions of the object of his love, why not humans?

My point is, the fact that love once existed doesn't mean it always would forever. It just never fails to act as long as it still exists, but it does die. It dies when the other person eventually becomes (or maybe we just didn't notice earlier) the opposite of what made the love sprout in the first place.

Op, don't start arguing against something without a clear definition of what you think it means. Would help avoid strawman arguments.

Love means different things to different persons, and no one is born with love in his heart. If it can grow, it can die.

I think it's the overly romanticized pic of love that has got you confused. The unconditional love farce. You want to see Cinderella's happily ever after in reality, innit?

Well, think of love as a flowering plant. It's existence and survival is very much conditional. After being planted, it needs to be watered constantly or it withers instead of blossoming.

Your argument is that if it withers, it was never a plant. Does that even sound reasonable to you?

Hahahaha... Who snapped the pics though?

Why people think they have to post every random detail of their life on Nairaland, twitter or Facebook, is something I have never been able to comprehend.

MrsPhyno:
Men are....... Sha

You saw her smile, and you fell in love with her?

Issorait

that first part is unnecessary. Only a few men would think they have fallen in love after seeing a smile. They might think 'bed' at first sight, but not 'marriage'.

Don't act like you truly know men

Fellow virgins, how una dey?

Whaaaat! She's reminding you? Does she mean your brain isn't working? Break up with her for that insolence. Make up on the 15th of February. Easy as pie

Wooooaaah!
Op where did you see these pics? Want to check for more.

NobleAngell:
1. She's being blackmailed.
2. I see a potential sex maniac...2 yrs from now.


I'll have my pick from the above.

shattap and stop playing 'God'. Look into your own future instead.

espn:
At least she didn't lie..not like some liars!

exactly. Who knows how many guys are behind bars in Naija alone because of less-than-honest ladies?

tosyne2much:
Baba, abi I lie ni?

boss no be lie o. E get the kind packaging wey you go give fridge, even Eskimos go dey hustle to buy am.

Oliviaarims:
Nobody's talking about being irresistible.

if guys just cannot say no to a girl when she asks, she's irresistible. If guys cannot look the other way after a girl flashes her green light, she's irresistible. It doesn't have to be spelt out first.

Ladies do not expect to be told no. They want to have what they want simply because they want it. That's why they dread having to make the bold move. There's the fear of rejection, of failure, of proof that they aren't as charming as they imagine.

Well I did read some girls' posts containing unsavory statements about guys who would not as much as respond to their 'green light'. I hope they aren't part of the Nobody you mentioned.