₦airaland Forum

The first mistake is from your group in church.
You guys should formulate a roster a head of time. This will help the potential hosts to have ample time for preparation.

The second mistake (I am inferring this from your wife's reaction), is that you, especially, and the men most probably didn't show any appreciation after the hosting/feasting (you probably behaved like most people do after eating - that is, act like making sure food is on the table is a right).

SirMichael1:
Hello Good afternoon Familanders. This is very long, so please bear with me.

I’ll start from the root. Well, in my church, there’s usually a committee for the married men where most times we can proffer solution to the issues or need of the church members and other times organize get together monthly within us (married men) just to foster unity. Since we're like 20, different men host the get together. Therefore, it's spaced out for 1year and 8months.

It all began last Sunday when I was chosen to oversee the next get together which comes up this Sunday after church. When we (my wife and I) got home after church, I told her about it and she immediately asked, “who would do the cooking”? I was taken aback as the question sounded strange. I replied her saying, since she did the cooking the last time, I figured she’d do it this time.

She got angry and said there’s no way she’ll be going through the stress of cooking for 18 to 25 men and that I better know what to do concerning who’s going to handle the cooking. I tried to calm her down and reminded her of how I assisted her in the kitchen by pounding the yams while she made the soup -two soups actually and that I was going to help her this time. Yam is quite expensive so we’re not pounding this time, just Semo.

She remained adamant and said there was no way she would do anything, that the work stressed her so much and she won’t partake in any cooking and that I better go find anyone to do the cooking. Thing is, I understood the fact that the work was stressful for her because she was 5 months pregnant then and it was her first time.

Yesterday at work, I kept pondering about a solution and a thought struck me. I called her from work and asked her, "how about I get one of the women at church to offer you support?". She blatantly refused and still held on to her words.

My mind hasn’t been settled since morning because I got hold of a caterer and she told me that she’ll charge a thousand naira per head, that is approximately 20k. Truth is, the get together came at a wrong time and considering the prices of drinks, the cost of the food stuff, meat, ingredients, etc. I really can’t afford a caterer right now.

I’m at a cross road now. I don’t know what to do because it’s causing a rift between us. I thought of bringing a church member to assist on that day without informing her so she wouldn’t surprise me and leave the house but I fear that if she comes, my wife might not join her in the kitchen and the woman will begin to feel a certain way (thinking of how ungrateful we are). Then again, who will purchase the food items? I’ve just been confused. I really need insights.

Note: I said I'll help her make the swallow, she just needs to make the soup.

ghettokid1:
you are right but I dont think he will do other than Tinubu's will

Usually, when a man becomes king, the kingmaker(s) become his subjects and have no option but to bow to him.

that is why you have a lot of politicians who turn against their godfathers.

I would like to think that Osinbajo, knowing that there is no position in the land higher than that of President would rather damn the perceived consequences of going against the cabals who will help put him there and rather etch his name in the annals of history as the man who changed the trajectory of our nation for good.

AustinT575:
Hmmm pls drop me your email or WhatsApp I want to ask you some questions

bros better ask your question make people put mouth for the matter.

be very very very very very careful with agents. in fact that agent na take, no give am your money oh.

frog12:
who told you that.
even a cleaner at NNPC makes a million a month.

Which NNPC?

Bros,
These are just excuses for the failure of an organization.

At the core is corruption and inefficiencies.

kikero:
Consider that Saudi Arabia earns up to ten times more than we do from oil and have 11 million people compared to our 200 million, and thus they have the cash.

Consider that Russia has a large industrial sector, which earns a lot of cash and is a mega exporter of gas, which we aren't and also produces far more oil than we do.So they can afford to fund subsides as well.

Nigeria is not an industrial country, we have a large number of people , and we flare all the gas. We cannot afford the things Russia and Saudi Arabia can

And we have corruption and inefficiency. Ironically, Russia too has a severe corruption problem.

Won't you add CSS?
Or do you already have that packed down?

TRUEBLOOD59:
HTML ,Javascript and PHP here we go

ninety5:
Hi everyone, hope y'all safe. I am going to hit the road straight up.

My wife's sister, 24, visited us two days before the lockdown in Lagos and was hoping to travel in the next three days. Unfortunately for her, the lock down thwarted her plan.

Now, my wife, together with our 3 year old boy, always leaves the house during the day to go gossip with her friends, living only her sister and me at home.

The problem is, my wife's sister has been looking at me somehow, like she wants me to have sex with her. The other day she saw me and was smiling like I gifted her some money, like a fish. Yesterday, she wore a blouse that left her n.pples dangling back and forth as she walked around the house.

Guys please, I am in a dilemma. And, good god, the girl is finer and hotter than her sister, the gossip.

What do you want me to do?

No insult please.

Your concern is not how you will encourage your wife to stay home especially because of the baby and protect your family against this pandemic.
You are asking for advice to tackle a problem that doesn't exist except in your mind.

BonPatrick:
Guys can you date a woman with 3 kids and still in her husband's house but the marriage is about to be dissolved because her husband is not touching her for over a year and doesn't give her food or talk to her.

She met you on Facebook and loves you so much and wants you to sleep with her when both of you see. She even sends her naked video to you to show you how much she loves you. Will you sleep with her when you meet as she is about to divorce her husband?

If she is not a scam, then I will like to ask why you think you can be her messiah? Please look for single girl to fire. Leave people wife alone. Take everything she is telling you with a bag of salt. A woman who is already trying to Bleep someone else while still in her husband's house (forget the excuses she has given you) is not someone you should even go close to.

BlackSpanner:
Welcome to the Nigerian corona virus premier league with so much inconsistencies.

How can Lagos with no single case on Monday suddenly have 59 on Tuesday. Does that mean no test was carried out on Monday.

The Benue index case has been running for about a month now.

Enugu said it discharged it's 2 cases and Akwa Ibom 3 cases last week but the NCDC league table says otherwise.

Kano has maintained it's grip on the top 4 position.

Last week the NCDC boss said all States will surely have this corona virus cases.

Great people, I need your thoughts on all these.

The results come back after approximately 7 hours from when the samples get to the lab.
For a positive case, the time is about 2.5 times.
This is because, every positive sample is taken through the entire 7 hours test to confirm that it is indeed positive - before someone who doesn't have covid-19 dies of heart attack.
When the sample is confirmed, the state health ministry is called with the results relayed.
The state min of health then begins logistics for getting an ambulance or ambulances as the case may be to be used for evacuation of the patient to an isolation centre.
They also make preparation for breaking the news as well as gathering data from the patient. This data includes, where s/he has been and who they have had contact with.
So it is a long process.

ajayidebo:
Read carefully. Offshore applicants must have an offer of full time employment in the NT if the NT Migration list requires it. Key word "IF". They don't require job offer for all occupations.

I think the question still remains - that is, how is it possible to get a job in NT if you are still onshore? That is the question.

Giwoni:
My Love Experience

Good day NLanders

I'm a medical student, and gf ( not sure what to call her now) is in MLS. We are both in same level (500l).

...

There is no harm done my brother, I am sure you have heard of such a thing as she has done happening before.

My advice to you is simple.
Thank God for finally making you feel the reality of the person you were intending to spend your life with.
There is nothing to cry about unless your time, energy and money spent.
But I want to assume you didn't do all of the things you did primarily because you want to marry her but because you were dating and wanted to be of help.

Just take your time for now and stay away from dating for now.

Olofin2:
Our first child is 3 months old. Wife had the child through CS. During pregnancy, she stopped intercourse at 7 months. After her delivery, she agreed to sex twice recently after what looks like begging.

I'm planning to stop asking her for sex forever. I'm a playful somebody and she tries to avoid me playing with her.

Is it the childbirth that caused this?

Chief, three months after a CS is a bit early if you don't mind me saying.
I will advise that you give her a little more time to heal.
Yes, I have been in that same situation before - my younger daughter is three now and her birth was a CS - so I understand the aspect of it being early.
I will not pretend to know if there are other issues.
If there are, I am sure you can also sort them out.
However, sex at three months is too early please.

Trello:
Hello everyone - I'm not quite sure whether this is the right section to post this.

Anyways, I currently hold a Master's degree and I also recently gained admission into a PhD program in a UK university but with no funding from the school and the estimated total cost of the tuition and living expenses amount to about #16 million for the 3 years.

So, I decided to come seek the opinion of folks here with better experience if it really worth spending this amount in the long run or should I rather invest this amount?

Thank you in advance!

Why not a country where you are guaranteed permanent residency after.

miclef86:
I met this lady, a colleague of mine for over a year now, we work in the same unit. Don't get it twisted, our Organization permits marriages but one of us will make a transfer to another branch within the same location.

I liked her, everybody in our unit noticed there's a connection between us. However, we're like cat and dog we fight over everything, always disagreeing, yet.

I have been getting a lot of advice from my fellow colleagues about how she's the perfect match for me and how compatible we're if we decide to be together.

However, truth be told, I have not been really serious with her, I flirt with other single girls in the unit. The other day, they were having relationship discussion, a senior colleague of mine said that I use to jump from one girl to another.

The last Valentine's day, I called her that we really need to talk she told me if it's really that serious I should come over to her house which I did. I went there to profess my love for her, I asked her to give me a chance that I'm gonna be a better man.

She calls me a confused human being, that I don't really know what I want, that it's too late. That she already has someone and planning to get married to him next year.

Now, I've decided to accept my faith and move on with one particular lady that cares about me, I no longer call her like I used to anymore, just greetings that use to join us now.

I have noticed a hostile attitude from her towards me, she gets angry whenever she sees me with the other girl.

Yesterday, during lunch hour, I met her with few of my colleagues and little conversation ensued between us she said I should bet with her that I'm going to leave that girl and come back to her, that made me a little upset within. So we had a bet.

Pls I need your advice, I truly love her, I think about her almost all the time. Should I swallow my ego and try to make things work between us again or I should let the sleeping dog lie?

Why are you only trying to date females from your office bros?

DrCAA:
Hello everyone, there seems to be a DIY Part 1of this thread. I assume that's where basic information for beginners will be available. I cant find the DIY Part 1thread. Please can I be directed to the link, or, may I please have basic info and steps to follow to start the process of migrating to Australia. I am a graduate with a PhD in view, over 10yrs working experience and married with 4 children under 10yrs. Thanks already.

Check page 1 of this thread.

is the assessing authority of ur field an equivalent?
Thanks

YES!

Goodies1:
Hello everyone;
Urgent advise needed please.
Please I want to confirm which ielts is accepted for Aussie PR process: ielts academic or ielts general?

You can take any of them. They are both accepted.

Knight1:
IELTS: 9, 9, 8, 8.

Bros oh, how you take get this score?
no vex, abeg tell us the secret.

I raise my hat in salute!
Kindly share some salient tips from your experience especially as it concerns writing.

Thank you.

Opeyemiebun:
Evening guys, please I will like to seek people's opinion concerning this issue that I have in my home.

I am a married Man with a Kid. Before marriage, my wife has a federal job outside Lagos while I run my business in Lagos. Due to Nigeria's economy, I asked her not to resign as she keeps working while I also keep on with my hustle. I have to be fair to her as she has been giving her all in this marriage and I so envy her strength to make things work despite the distance.

We had our first child last year and she is going to a year.. We both contribute financially and bring something to the table as we run 2 different homes.

I know she goes through a lot taking care of the baby without a car and I know how tedious it is for her to manage.

We are both young (I am 30 while she is 28)
We got our first few properties this January and we planning to do other things as we both bring money together to get things done.

We have plans of getting our first car within a month and my wife suddenly demanded that she also needs a car where she is due to the stress she goes through daily picking my child from creche and managing that with her own job. I asked that I employ a helper for her but she doesn't want.

She plans on getting the car within the next 2months with her own money. My issue is that I am business oriented and see it as a waste of money buying 2 cars when we can buy one and invest the money for the other one.

I am a Civil Engineer and my Job requires I get a car for mobility.
I feel guilty by trying to stop her from getting the car while I get mine and at the same time, if she get one I will also need to get.

I have been cracking my head up trying to see how we can go about it without hurting her and be fair to her as she is the best woman I can ever ask for.

What should I do, should we both get cars and let other stuffs take it course?

What have you been using?
Please give her the car to ease her stress.
You are man and you have been managing.

My simple opinion.

Bodacious1:
Ok thank you. One thing I need to clarify is: who determines the points for (relevant) university qualification?

Your assessing body.

Obinnau:
I wonder why some people will decide to leave frying pan to fire.
Op why did you not do research on Dubai before applying for visa.
Dubai for the person without heavy certification and education is equals to slavery.
Better use that money and forge for your future here in Nigeria.

Good day.
Please are you talking of IT certifications? If yes, are there better prospects for people who possess such certifications (Cisco, Comptia, Microsoft etc) in Dubai?
Thanks.

u3fine:
Will BSc Botany Uniben 4 years course considered Bachelor or Associate degree?

Yes.
University of Benin is not a tier 1 university.

alimaa:
Please I need a piece of advice on how to handle this situation.

I have a very close friend and his wife has asked for financial assistance severally and I obliged. The problem I have here is what will my friend think if he should be seeing a bank alert from me on his wife's phone?

The woman has been calling my line since the beginning of this month which I have continued to ignore. She would later send text asking for financial help and this kind of situation is very confusing because you might report to her husband and they will both turn the whole thing against you.

Please what should I do?

In the first instance why is she asking you for money?

Mike4S:
I came back from the the church on Sunday only to see my apartment rummaged. My gas cylinder that I just filled, my new electric iron that is still intact in the packet, my new stainless vacuum cup, aso ebi 2 each 6 yards and Polish and brush were all carted away.

What really surprised me is my key being intact and no sign of break and enter from any part of the apartment.

Air of mystery still surrounds how my apartment was robbed.

I want to go and just drop statement with the police. Hope that one will be welcomed? Guys I need your contributions. I just packed in there. It's somewhere opposite Lagos Business School along Lekki Epe express way

Also consider that someone can get into your apartment through the ceiling. Especially if there is another flat attached to yours.

Recently, a young boy went with his friends (gang) to rob the flat attached to his aunt's own. he did this when both his aunt and her family and the neighbours had gone to church.

Olaideelect:
Same here bro..... I don't think the Ibadan centre still exists. I am considering Lagos now.

Had to travel over five hours from Warri to Lagos to sit the exam. The associated stress is becoming top much with the reduction in the spread of centres across Nigeria.

yungmin:
Are you sure about this? From the mail GTB sent to me after my naira card was rejected, they said it was a CBN policy stopping them from accepting the random forex exchange payment .

They sent me a similar mail too. It has to do with DCC.

You can pay with a Zenith card. I didn't even open a Zenith account, I simply transferred money to a colleagues card and did my payment.

Bodacious1:
Thank you. I've also read the ACS guidelines but needed to be doubly sure. Also, I've been searching for sometime now but want to confirm from those with more experience. Can I use IELTS academic or must it be general?

You can use either.

Bodacious1:
Please again, I need someone who has assessed with ACS. Also if I use statutory declaration must the person attesting it put their passport photo on the declaration?

Good morning.
Go to the ACS website and get first hand details for anything you need to submit to them. They have detailed guides for every transaction you will have with them.

No, you will not attach a passport photo to a declaration.

shugaboy6102:
This is my story and I will appreciate if the mods can push it to front page so that others can read and learn from me, and I also need your honest comments and advice because you could be saving a drowning man.

I Am 29 years of age, a civil engineer by profession and a sanguine by temperament. Before my youth service @ age 24 I got my girl friend pregnant and I was scared of abortion so we decided to keep the baby with the full support of my mother and she agreed because I was an only son. After that, we proceeded to see her people with my mum and relatives to my girl friends village and we paid something on her head but didn't complete the whole traditional right, but this was not even the traditional wedding proper.

After that we saw ourselves as husbands and wife and we were living fine for sometime. After sometime, the relationship took a different turn as we were always fighting and didn't agree on even the slightest matter. I remember vividly one occasion we fought over a female colleague @ work who sent me a whatsapp message and why we fought was that she came to my work place and fought the young lady openly embarrassing me in the process in front of everyone.

There were times I would try to reconcile but she would blatantly refused, sometimes she will tell me she is fed up of this thing we call marriage and that she's looking for someone that I too should look for someone else.

Fast-forward I met a lady and one thing led to another and I started picking interest in her. It was never my intention to be with another woman but I don't have peace of mind and I feel I am loosing my mind.

Note: I haven't wedded in a church before or done a full traditional marriage. Here comes the question: would it be considered a divorce if I quit this union and marry this new lady?

I am full of unhappiness and pain and I don't want to live a life of endurance and pity. Pls nobody should pressure you into getting married, marriage is not a license to live a happy life. If you are single, I envy you.

You do not have what it takes to get married, even at this moment, because you are really young and patience is not yet something you understand fully. I will advise that you do not leave your relationship/marriage because you want to get married to someone else.

If you don't want to be with your fiance/wife and mother of your child anymore, then say so. You have not really given a good reason why you should be apart though.

You also sound like you never wanted to marry this young lady, but only acted like you wanted to because of the pregnancy.

Take your time.
Forget this your new relationship. You are not being faithful to your fiance. You are breaking your promises to her.
Truthfully, you have a lot of the steering here.

You already know what is right for you. Going by all you have written, you both have no business being with one another.
I can't even imagine that a full grown adult is unable to restrain himself, commits an offence against you and then blames his temper.

Stop dating him.

Whoever said you must marry now, or marry at all.

This is really a painful experience especially so for a person already in pains.

Did you manage to get the doctor's name, top enable you call him out for his maltreatment, obvious insensitivity and lack of empathy?

Ghostfaze:
Kindly approve to the homepage, mods.


Hello everyone.
I have an unusual issue at hand and it's really giving me a headache.

I have a girlfriend I met in August this year when I traveled to my state from Abuja. She's beautiful, a graduate, and she's everything I have ever wished to have in a woman or so I once believed.

I loved her and our relationship was going to lead to marriage.

After we met in August I traveled back to Abuja and a few months later her NYSC call up came. She told me about it and we planned that she will serve in Abuja. I paid one NYSC man to work her posting but unfortunately, she was posted to another Northern state.

On her way to the state where she was posted she stopped over at my place in Abuja on the 3rd of November, That night we had sex without a condom and after the sex, I gave her a pregnancy prevention drug tablet I had collected from a doctor.

She refused to take the drugs not until after much persuasions. The next morning, some thick blood mixed with water started coming out of her and she was also having stomach pains so I called the doctor that gave me the drugs and he said we should come to his hospital.

We got to the hospital and after explaining to him what happened the doctor said she was already pregnant before taking the drugs that's why her body reacted that way to the drugs.

She denied that she's pregnant and eventually she had to undergo a pregnancy scan. The result came out negative but the doctor kept on insisting that she was pregnant and that the reason why the result came out negative is because of the drugs she took and how young the pregnancy is.

She left for home angrily that day and I had to beg her to forget whatever it is that happened.

A few days later she left for NYSC camp in the state where she was posted. After two weeks she started complaining to me that she's been feeling cold, hungry, and sleepy often than she used to.

I told her that it could be because of the change of weather and the approaching harmattan season. While she was in camp I was working for her to be reposted back to Abuja and somehow she didn't want to serve in Abuja again. She wasn't really open to me about that but she was subtly letting me know of her desires.

Finally, her reposting worked out and she came down to Abuja three days ago. Today she told me that she wants to go for a pregnancy test and I obliged and escorted her to another hospital different from the one we previously went to the first time she came to Abuja.

After the test and scan, the result said she's 6 weeks and 2 days pregnant. We went to another hospital and the result came out the same.

Remember that I first had sex with her on the 3rd of November. Tomorrow will make it a month I had sex with her but she's already 6 weeks and 2 days pregnant.

I could not understand why she should be 6 weeks pregnant when it's not been up to 4 weeks I had sex with her. I have asked her to tell me if she slept with someone else earlier before she came to Abuja but she has maintained that she did not.

I have equally asked the two doctors we met today plus a few other doctors I spoke with on the phone if they think that I'm responsible for the pregnancy but their answers are all contradicting.

Now I'm confused. She's in my house, with a child I'm certain does not belong to me. I don't know what to do. I'm really really confused. Please, any mature advice would be gladly appreciated.

Thank you!

I am sure the doctor explained to you that pregnancy is dated from the last monthly period.
Ultrasound scans usually take LMP into account.