It is not an easy place to be. I was there a while ago. Mine was exactly 5 weeks after wedding. My world came crashing belly flat. I fell from euphoria to anguish and deep misery without anything to hold me in between. I hit rock bottom. I don't want to go on. I wanted to follow her...but God, this God gave me joy for my mourning...He restored me and lifted my soul and spirit. Finally I am here. God who helped me back then will help her and heal her. Amen
AntonVince: The top-3 are all good and thoroughly deserve to be up there but that Progress boy is simply on another level. He's a notch above everyone.
Zaddok for me is everything a musician cum entertainer should be. He has the voice ( so powerfully sonorous, the vibes, so enchanting, the stage personality, electrifying...I love this dude...as if he is from another planet. I am rooting for him and voting for him too. Zaddy all the way!!!!!!
Stick to your present job bro. The new offer already underrated and undervalued you. Forget about the nominal increase, it is not an increase per say. See below analysis. If you have no accomodation for now or a lasting one, you will need 250k for a studio room in a not too fantastic part of Lagos and you will transport yourself with about 1000 naira a day. Put that at 25k a month and 300k year. That is already 550k less in real salary. Your new job offer you 1,032,000 naira per annum. Minus that 550k from it, you are left with 482,000 naira plus Lagos stress. Your current job is paying you nominal 600k naira per annum plus 550k naira in benefits...that amount to real pay of 1,150,000 naira per annum minus the stress. Untill you get a job of at least 2M in nominal value, or real value in Lagos, don't move. The profile of the company should be the driving force not the role you are being offered. Some job role are just nomenclature. You can be call team lead engineer and be the only one in the dept leading yourself. And you can be a technician and part of a team in a robust company where your contribution will be considered as valuable by future employer because of the profile and the anticedent of the company (talking from experience here) Finally, add value to yourself on the current job and keep updating your achievements, someone/company will value you and offer you something commensurate with your worth. Until then, don't sell yourself cheap.
Ebubu: Borno get airport people dey vex say Ebonyi dey build airport
Una deh ment
Have you been to Borno before? From your comment I guess you haven't. Please forget about the insurgency, Borno have so much that even till now, Ebonyi is still dreaming of. Let me ask how old is the UNMAID? 47 years! How old is EBSU, 33. Maiduguri has been a cosmopolitan city before Ebonyi was carved out of Both Enugu and cross River. Please read history before you comment next time. I am not from the North but I have lived in the north and I lived a whole year serving my fatherland in Ebonyi, Ikwo, Ndufu Alikwe to be precise.
Is he white, yellow, red or orange? Tell him he should check with God and ask Holy Spirit next time he has the urge to say things like this...this one get as e be...
lalasticlala: As shared by Twitter User, Waka Waka Tailor:
https://twitter.com/WakaWakaTailor/status/1492036296574910468?t=UxRwvRkcVLEaEF_j-pfDIg&s=08[/quote]Are they mad in that school? The teacher is definitely insane! I am not against flogging a student. But you have to flog someone who should understand what you are trying to achieve. But you cannot flog a 2 year old for her inability to recite!!! This is bullying for crying out loud. What does a two year old know? The teacher should be sacked immediately and the proprietor call to order. And to flog a 2 year old at all is not to talk of this much is just not normal. No one should try this with my 4 year old...or else, I won't just bring the school down, the teacher will never teach again...radarada oshi!
A young Nigerian man has made his father's birthday special by gifting him a brand new Mercedes Benz SUV.
The surprise took place in the presence of friends and family members.
The father of the young man couldn't contain his happiness after the surprise.
He was indeed overjoyed.
What is his source of income/wealth? Can he provide proof of funds coming from legitimate source? I am not a joy killer but this is the kind of news that made some 17, 18 years of age to cut human head for ritual... Until we start asking the right questions, crime and criminality will not abate in our society. Any society that celebrate wealth without knowing or minding the source like we do will continue to witness mindless crimes.
SUPERPACK: She told you she has a boyfriend and in a relationship but that did not stop from shifting her paent.
She is in your house and on your bed, you had no problem with that too because someone else is paying her bills.
All of a sudden you are angry because of a long call from one of the pússy co-owners like you that pays her bills possibly. Your sense plenty no be lie.
Conclusion;''He who wants equity must come with clean hands''
I lost count oh and punishment that normal follow, they can reset a dead brain...but the breaking will not stop. I guess they happen any time the village people were after me back then.
1. When taking Uber/bolt etc, always share your ride. 2. Always lock your door. When you step out, even for a brief moment, lock. When you are inside, don't forget to lock. 3. When checking into an hotel, always investigate the hotel, make a phone call at the reception to notify a close family member that you are checking in into the hotel. Don't check into any how hotel in the name of cost saving or adventure. 4. Don't open the door until you are certain of who the visitors are.
murphyibiam15: I wish you luck bro, I hope your wife works too?
She does qualitatively. She is not employed or in business but She contribute her quota to the home and I appreciate that... although, I wish she is able to bring more in term of money but "This is Nigeria".
murphyibiam15: I'm trying to encourage our men here to take good care of their health, physically and mentally.
It's not like women don't have theirs but those of the men are very much noticeable in the sense that it takes a toll on their physical and mental health.
(1) I entered lagos two weeks ago and I needed to take uber, this uber driver as I can guess will be bw his 50s and 60s.He needed to send money to his wife (3k)but somehow he couldn't do transfer since he was driving me but I helped him with my bank app while he gave me cash. Do you know after transferring the money his wife was ungrateful and demanded he returns home immediately (that was around 8pm).Now,the man started complaining to me how whether he brings money or not how his wife keeps complaining and he said he's pitying Nigerian men who are getting married to strange women and giving birth without knowing what they're going into. He looked stressed out and trying to make ends meet but yet his wife added more burden, not just financially but mentally. So tell me how this kind of stressed man won't die out so sooner than later. He was lucky somehow that one of his children got a scholarship to study in India.
(2) I attended a friend's wedding and to my utmost shock both fathers of the celebrants are late. Only their moms are still alive while other relatives represented their fathers. So I was wondering how their moms are still alive while their fathers are late. Some may say men marry younger women that's why they die out but from the mothers of those celebrants they're not up to 60 years, so how much age difference that will make the two men be late?
Im saying this because I have noticed lots of people esp men are passing through a lot of stress, please men don't allow your wives, siblings or anything infact to overstress you to the point of dying out in time. We men aren't super beings, try to take things easy.
Just my 2cents, bye.
I am sitting all by myself somewhere now just to relax and think straight because of stress. I consider my self lucky because I ain't married to a wife like the one you shared above but then men stressors are numerous. Rent if you are like me, school fees, housekeeping, children health care, career, social needs and what have you... I almost develop BP yesterday when I was told at the gas station that a 12.5k gas I bought at 6100 naira about 3 weeks ago is now 7200 naira. Pure water bag is 250 naira from 100 and then bread has gone up too. And I remember my salary has not even shift an inch. If the staple foods of the "common man" (as if we are not all common) like beans, melon and co are beyond the reach of the so call common man then I wonder what we will be eating. Like I said, I am sitting here by myself to clear my head...and relax too. Today is the world's Mental Health day. I am taking it easy on myself..
Gentlerespect76: So much costly and shameful assumptions in a single writeup! Tueh!
Sincerely I am shocked at what people are writing up and down. So much condemnation with little or no understanding of the problem. Only few people offered solutions and even fewer offered the right ones.
What men like me do for granted and on frequent basis without unwarranted publicity is what this fake serial husbands are doing and the whole world have to see it. I don't know why some people like setting their bedroom on roof top. It is well
san316: I currently work in one of the Third Generation Banks as a full staff. Currently I am on the second level in the sales department, salary is good, being considered for promotion which hasn't come in a while, based in Abuja with family and all.
Got an offer with a better 3rd generation bank. next level in a different department, higher pay but will have to relocate to Kaduna. Report directly to a Group Head, will have a dedicated car but greater responsibility. I have 13 years experience by God's grace. The simple answer is Pray and move.
The current place is like my comfort zone, I'm well known and I've been here for Seven years.
Forthispost: Hello Nairalanders. I need your honest feedback on this issue.
There is this ex of mine I dated for approximately 4 years. During the course of our relationship, I Was totally in my best power not to be the toxic one and never cheated on her but she eventually left with no viable reason. There were times she messed up and I forgave her even while we dated. Close to the time of her graduation from a reputable state university in Nigeria, she started messing up and eventually broke up the relationship. I was pained though but I had to forgive her and move on.
After the break up (which is about 3 years away now) we still talk (greetings on phone) once in a blue moon.
Now the issue at hand is, a male boss of mine requested that I recommend a female staff that matches a particular vacant role in our organisation . Note: This is an internal recruitment and who ever I recommend stand a 95% chance of getting employed ( the other 5% if for village people). The role is an entry role with pay centered around 80k-100k monthly. She currently earns 22k where she works now at at our last conversation. Though she use to be a cool person before her village people entered the relationship. Over three years of not being close as before gives me no clue of the type o
The reason why I need advice is this: I work at the same organisation in question and I have no plan to leave soon. *I'm trying to avoid a case where she will be the one to facilitate any issue for me at the said work place. Just avoiding anything that will result in regrets.*
Update: I forgot to add, she's one of the person I know who suits the role. I don't have sister who matches the role.
I created this new account for just this thread hence the moniker "for this post"
Kindly advice biko. Bashing is allowed.
I don't know why I feel you have answered your questions in your submission. Please note the bolded in your write up. Please close your eyes, look elsewhere. When opportunity come where you are not likely to be burnt, you may consider her...no hard feelings, just my gut telling me this...and it always 95% right.
Forthispost: Hello Nairalanders. I need your honest feedback on this issue.
There is this ex of mine I dated for approximately 4 years. During the course of our relationship, I Was totally in my best power not to be the toxic one and never cheated on her but she eventually left with no viable reason. There were times she messed up and I forgave her even while we dated. Close to the time of her graduation from a reputable state university in Nigeria, she started messing up and eventually broke up the relationship. I was pained though but I had to forgive her and move on.
After the break up (which is about 3 years away now) we still talk (greetings on phone) once in a blue moon.
Now the issue at hand is, a male boss of mine requested that I recommend a female staff that matches a particular vacant role in our organisation . Note: This is an internal recruitment and who ever I recommend stand a 95% chance of getting employed ( the other 5% if for village people). The role is an entry role with pay centered around 80k-100k monthly. She currently earns 22k where she works now at at our last conversation. Though she use to be a cool person before her village people entered the relationship. Over three years of not being close as before gives me no clue of the type of person she might have become now. Maybe a scorned woman or a more sensible person. I'm doing far better than when she left me and it's super glaring to her.
The reason why I need advice is this: I work at the same organisation in question and I have no plan to leave soon. *I'm trying to avoid a case where she will be the one to facilitate any issue for me at the said work place. Just avoiding anything that will result in regrets.*
Update: I forgot to add, she's one of the person I know who suits the role. I don't have sister who matches the role.
I created this new account for just this thread hence the moniker "for this post"
Kindly advice biko. Bashing is allowed.
I don't know why I feel you have answered your questions in your submission. Please note the bolded in your write up. Please close your eyes, look elsewhere. When opportunity come where you are not likely to be burnt, you may consider her...no hard feelings, just my gut telling me this...and it always 95% right.
I think you have acted too carelessly. It is normal for you to still be grieving after four months...infact for a year while organising yourself into a workable system either by maintaining status quo or evolving new one. From your write up, you have this under control before this strange woman walk into your life. For a woman whose husband purportedly ran away, she is actually displaying attitude that could make you run away if you were the husband...forget the initial sweet disposition. Just 12 days, your wife's memories mean nothing...that is insensitive to you or your children. Also if your adopted daughter is seen less than your first daughter by her just after 12 days, your biological daughter will soon suffer same fate and probably worse. Please, whatever you think your feelings are for this strange woman, please put it in check for now...let her move back to her house...don't let pity stop you now so that you won't pity your life soon. Take this from me, she is not the one if she is this rash in just 12 days... I have been through this journey so I know what I am saying...
londonbanks: It's not just the fact that she forgot, it's that she's not invested in what we have. I've taken her out on a couple of dates where the majority of the time she was on her phone and not being receptive to my feelings even though I asked her politely to put it away.
Whenever she wants something from me she uses words like "baby" but soons as I send her money it's crickets from then on. Anytime I text her during the day to see how her day is she doesnt reply back and even when she does its "good" or "okay", quick short answers and doesnt reciprocate by asking about mines.
The birthday was the last straw because I had texted her few days ago and she completely ignored me until the day after apologising but only because hers is coming up in a few weeks and probably doesnt want to burn that bridge. She'll forget my birthday but will post on her stories constantly about other people wishing them theirs. It's clear at this point that she's been using me for money and doesn't care about me. Its always the ones you least expect.
Anyways I appreciate anyone who took the time to read this, your input will be greatly appreciated.
@OP, are you sure you are not dating yourself? Please, if all you wrote up here is true, she is not into you. Whatever you do from here, it is up to you.
The guy sought out the lady for marriage on deceit. Fundamentally, there is no integrity in the man if he cannot come clean with his state of affair for 3 whole years. Everyone who is of the opinion that the lady is a gold digger have forgotten that one of the key conditions for a man to be consider marriageable is the ability to provide a decent accomodation. He also should have integrity and be trustworthy. He obviously don't have and he also does not have enough courage, integrity and self esteem to tell the lady the true state of things. Marriage is a contractual agreement and must be base on performance of the agreed obligations. You can not lie in a contact and assume the contract is still bidding. Trust is a key component of marriage. A man that can lie for 3 years cannot be trusted. So I think the lady should get divorce and move on with her life.