₦airaland Forum

deji17:
Payment of public funds into personal accounts has declined by 94%



https://www.thecable.ng/budgit-payment-of-public-funds-into-personal-accounts-has-declined-by-94/amp

They now pay it to bandits, Miyett Allah and B. Haram. It is a simple logic. Another 800m in the last 24hrs, I guess that is not public funds by definition.

Gang90:
You should have asked why have I not had sex, it is not on any self control stuff but although as a child I wanted to be a priest, I grew up to see somethings as impure, including people, note this is not in the moral concepts, I only accept people that I love, by love here I don't mean sexual attraction, for instance even if my brother has an infectious disease, I may not leave his side but a stranger that I dislike with common cold could irritate me, that's how some things work for me, first of all I don't like my brother's wife whatsoever so this type of thing from her even seems more irritating .

I might stay up and work throughout the night so that tomorrow morning I can sleep in the living room a bit before sorting everything out tomorrow by noon

What the couple did was not okay. But then, the couple had sex, not the woman alone so stop taking it out on her because your hatred for her has damped your sense of reasoning. If the woman did not take the sheet, nothing stop your brother from either taking it or calling her attention to it. My thoughts.
Besides, You want to know my thought regarding what you wrote up there? Honestly, it disgusts me.
You see the bolded part irritates me and it sucks.
She is not your wife and she does not need your love if you can't give it freely. If your brother can love her enough to marry her and keep making love to her passionately and comfortably, then, that you "don't like her whatsoever" is really inconsequential.
The fact that she can tolerate you in her home, gave you a room and offer you food should be enough to drive sense into your heard bro. If she does not want you in that house, trust me you won't stay comfortable for one hour. So stop talking about yourself as if the whole world revolve round you.

From a married man who will not like his wife to be look down on by a twenty something old boy that does not really know what marriage is all about.

I can only see one item on the plate....all others are supporters.

Osagyefo98:
No thank you, I am only crying because he has Missed heavenly graduation.. while on earth.

So you are the provost, or vice chancellor, or Chairman of the Senate that determines 'who will graduate' or 'who will miss out'..... Thank God, men are not God...at least you can only wish to play God, but you are not God.
Happy Sunday.

Petyprince:
I heard she's a Doctor, maybe they also deal in drugs

She is a real business woman. Her husband, Engr Jack Tien Rich is the Founder and CEO of Belema Oil, an indigenous Oil Producing Company located in Portharcourt. One of the few Billionaires I know with a very large heart. Very kind, open and unassuming.
Happy birthday to him.

DICKstractor:



The battle is between INSECURITY and INDEPENDENCY

Nature is trying to tell you that you guys ain't compatible. You should read the handwriting on the wall. Move on. It's better to cry now than cry later when you get trapped in that thing called MARRIAGE


Someone once said "wahala dey like DANGOTE towel, e no dey cover nyash finish"

Shea you get the point now...

Nothing to add. Sensible and apt!
Mind you, some people will still blame the babe oh. Some will tell her she was proud and rude. What they fail to consider is pride is relative. It is a function of maturity, disposition, perception and security.

Racoon:
https://www.legit.ng/amp/1395361-alleged-nepotism-lai-mohammed-cautions-kukah-clerics-criticism-buhari.html

When inconsequential people become consequential because of political appointments.

Who is Lai? What does he know? How many followers does he have outside politics? What is his circle of influence beyond the shore of Nigeria? If he leaves politics today, is he relevant more than the commoner in Ilorin?
When money overule common sense.

Where gaslighting is popular than reality. Then, there is a Lai.

ExAngel007:
http://saharareporters.com/2020/12/22/repentant-bandits-helped-secure-kankara-schoolboys-release-—presidency

When will this guy stop talking? He keep saying stuffs that one should be reading in either fictions or comic books.
It is well.

J111333:
I'm glad you took a thing or two from the incident because I just did too.

Sometimes while trying to rush to something meaningful, we rush ourselves into unfortunate and unforgettable incidents.

Same here bro. Mine was on Saturday. The man came from my blind side and I started apologizing for my damage immediately I came out. I checked his SUV, (Toyota Highlander) and told him we need a panel beater to fix is disjointed Bumper. I was waiting for him to call one or ask me to call mine. Sincerely I don't mind picking the bills. But instead, he keep insulting me and insulting my wife who sat beside me for not calling my attention to his vehicle on my blind side. I was angry but then I understood that he was angry too and our mood will not undo what has been done. I refrained from reacting negatively as he was expecting. After hulling insult at us without any negative response from us, he entered his vehicle and drove off.
I learnt that as much as possible, I should not assume for my blind side to be free. I should always make allowance for others who probably don't know what my decision tree look like on the road. Above all, I should be mindful and careful of my responses no matter what.

J111333:
I'm glad you took a thing or two from the incident because I just did too.

Sometimes while trying to rush to something meaningful, we rush ourselves into unfortunate and unforgettable incidents.

Same here bro. Mine was on Saturday. The man came from my blind side and I started apologizing for my damage immediately I came out. I checked his SUV, (Toyota Highlander) and told him we needed a panel beater to fix his disjointed bumper. I was waiting for him to call one or ask me to call mine. Sincerely I won't mind picking the bills. Instead, he kept insulting me and my wife who sat beside me for not calling my attention to his vehicle on my blind side. I was angry but then I understood that he was angry too and our mood will not undo what has been done. I refrained from reacting negatively as he was expecting. After hulling insult at us without any negative response from us, he entered his vehicle and drove off.
I learnt that as much as possible, I should not assume for my blind side to be free. I should always make allowance for others who probably don't know what my decision tree look like on the road. Above all, I should be mindful and careful of my responses no matter what.

Emir8:
I have master degree and want to start my PhD next year. The university told me that I can't start PhD until I work for them for 3 years. That is another thing I'm considering. The secondary school will allow me to go for PhD

The University that said you cannot start your PHD until after 3years is very anti progressive and more or less a slave camp.

Racoon:
https://dailytrust.com/well-fix-refineries-with-money-saved-from-subsidy-removal-fg

And I hope another rounding of looting is not loading...
The refineries never seems to work even when we continue to repair and service them frequently....we service what we do not use and now we want to repair what is not serviceable...

Truthlord12:
please no need for insult. Should I assist my ex’s family and lose my new girlfriend? What of if my ex don’t want to come back to the country I’ll lose two of em. Please give me a reasonable advice not insults

Please do the right thing. If you do it and your new girlfriend choose to leave or pick offence, it shows you real don't have a good woman beside you.
Let me ask, how will you feel if the table is turn between you and your ex?
Please be careful of the people you journey with in life.

BonPatrick:
I am know the place

You know the place but I am from the place. You can't be farther from the truth.

Goldenrod1:
Na only 3 of them remain for this country


Hold her firm

Are you sure they are still up to 3? Because I married one of them with 280k nine years ago and now my blessings are uncountable.
This Op does not know how lucky he is. Think carefully if you think she deserve something great, do something that will elevate her comfort level and progress/prosperity and not one day show off.

BonPatrick:
What a shame to that community only on female attend university

Na wah oh. How do you know this and what is the source of your data?

Racoon:
(Exclusive) Chinese doctors won't treat any COVID-19 Patient in Nigeria - Lai Mohammed ...

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.naijalivetv.com/exclusive-chinese-doctors-wont-treat-any-covid-19-patient-in-nigeria-lai-mohammed-video/amp/

The government told Nigerians after protests by the NMA/ARD and concerned citizens that Chinese Doctors will not treat patients in Nigeria or have anything to do with our healthcare system.

In fact, Lai himself said that they came strictly for CCECC staff.So what are they "busy working at our isolation centres, putting together & setting up their equipment they brought." for? Today the story have changed. Believe this lying government @ your own peril.

Op actually got his traffic! Lai Mohammed reiterated it yesterday, both in English and Yoruba that the Chinese are helping to set up equipment they brought and training our doctors in their usage (capacity building). He emphasized that the Chinese medical personnels will not be treating or seeing any of our patients neither will they prescribe drug or administer treatment.
You can also read what op quoted as said by Lai for Confirmation.

And we are wondering what is killing people in Kano.
Do we need to probe further?

Bluehill1051:
Why don't you help him sometimes?
In my own opinion, you're worse than those children. It is your type that will rather take photos of a dying person than actually saving them.

He should help him and then to what end? So that the twenty year old will learn?
Op, no go create unwarranted problem for yourself oh. Na tenant you be no be be moral instructor. If you start am, you no go last your rent before dem pursue you commot for that house.
Hope you are learning...
As for the man, he has succeeded in failing fatherhood. He and the wife are example of failed parenthood.
These children with dyfunctional upbringing will end up getting married and raising dyfunctional children at the best...at the other extreme, they will grow up to be a nobody because they are use to "everything being done for them" their utopian world...out here, shit hit the fan daily...and they won't find it funny.

Estellar:
You should welcome them when they come visiting

With Corona virus everywherr? Do I know if they are careers too? Or are they not also supposed to stay at home?
Biko, no visitor, I am on isolation, lockdown and self quarantine. Lobatan!

Lilbest3:
me, I personally hate noise, if I have a son today and he's shouting all over the place, I can scold him to go outside and play but if the child is not mine, the parents will think I'm being resentful and wicked to the child because he is not mine that's why I always scold him.

Lastly, he has no business taking care of a child that was formed with the sperm of another man.

Then like I said, he should free the woman and let her go. Having a son "father by another man sperm" is not a disease. He also did not say the lady begged him to marry her.

WilliamsTheGrea:
Do you think it's easy to look a child who you didn't give birth to biologically and invest your money and time in that child?

I'm not impotent I can have my own child. I want to take care of my own child.

You are not ready yet. Free her and let her move on. Your excuses are self-centred. Noise, are you saying if you have your own children they won't make noise? Or when they do, you will pick offence?
If you love a woman, you will love her product. If you are not capable of loving the child, don't claim you love the mum. Marriage is not a favour...it is responsibility

YorubaLord:
Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes and YES !!! I'll marry her again any day, anytime!

There's an adage in Yoruba: A pe jeun, koni je'baje! Literal meaning... "A late Diner never feeds on scraps".

Proverbial translation... "A Patient dog eats the most sumptuous and juicy bone"

I kinda married late but, I definitely hit the bull's eye! The most perfect thing for me. I remain appreciative.

Thank you sir.
I will marry my wife over and over again. The only one who can accommodate and deal with my shortcomings at the same time. I have peace of mind in her that loves me...God bless my Queen.

osato45:
Attend the interview for the post of a technologist, if you eventually get the job, take it and put in your resignation letter with access bank. I Know technologist II earns up to 100k which in the long run is way better than your contract job at access

I share your opinion. I believe OP has more opportunities for growth in the Fed University job. Attend the interview first, get the job and leave banking especially since it is a contract job.
I wish OP success with the interview.

PatrickOkunima:
Was the article helpful?

Yes, very helpful and spot on.

GreatResearcher:
Fellow husbands in the house, are your wives attitudes while in marriage the same as when the were in courtship? I realized women characters change from almost good to very worst once they get married.

Most tmes we wonder if the women we got married to are they women we dated. What could be the cause of this change in character.

Funny my wonan keep getting better as the union grows. We are over 8 years now and sincerely I wish I knew she was like this when I first met her. I would have dare all odds and marry her then instead of the unnecessary delay.
I thank God who loves me so much to give chance over chance until I marry her. Choice I will make one million times over now

I think the minister is being economical with the truth. 150m Nigerians look more like it.

Laird:
She should go to the new job
Except she is a management staff

You are spot on. She should go for the new job no matter what. The old job has way of coming back to hunt you for their last minutes forced decisions.

Mrcashman87:
I am not new to Nairaland but I have to use this account for my story . I have met her in 2009 she was calm , doesn’t talk much but easily get angry and I also noticed that she wasn’t a good cook but was good in other things ( chores) , it didn’t stopped me from loving her, I didn’t tell any of my people even though I have sisters that are good cook but I decided to take her to catering school to learn how to cook which she went for lessons to practice.

We got married in 2013 , she got pregnant that same month and she became so lazy that I will go to work and come back to found the house very messy with everything’s all over the places , dirty dishes and not dinner yet, and I have to take over cleaning and cooking dinner for us. She claimed she could not longer clean the house , she is tired and need to rest so I have decided to get a house help for her , a small 14 years old, this girl was hard working , very obedient but to my wife she is evil , every single day I comes back from work , this girl is always in tears my wife will beat the hell out of her to the extent of giving her black eye , if I confront her she will start accusing me of sleeping with the girl which is not true, I can never stoop so low to sleep with an underage girl. I have nieces of similar ages what I wouldn’t want another person to do to my nieces and wouldn’t do to another person daughter.

One time I came back from work to found the girl in a pool of blood , that my wife hit her with a wooden chair and she had a deep cut on her head , I got angry with my wife even her reasons didn’t make sense to me , all because she asked the poor girl to warmed up the baby milk and she mistakenly left it for too long , the milk was too hot to give to the crying baby so she got angry at her and hit her . I have told my wife she shouldn’t act like that no matter what and here come again you are sleeping with her and that’s why u are siding with her , we had an heated argument that I have left the house to cool down , I came back after 5 hours and next morning I have send for my brother to take the girl back to her parents , I have given her money 30k to manage that was how the girl left the house.

When our first child was 6 months , we found out she was 2 months pregnant she cried that the baby is too small , she can’t keep the pregnancy , I have begged her to keep that everything will be alright . Our twins were born a girl and boy , having 3 children under 2 wasn’t easy for us and I have to go to work while she staying with the kids all alone and she was depressed , I have decided to bring in a house help 15 years old boy , the same thing repeated again , she was maltreated him the same thing she did with the girl , that boy didn’t even stays with us for 2 months , he run away . I came back to found her crying that the boy has slapped her and run away, I was angry for what he did even swear if I catch him , he will regret the day he was born but the other way I knew that boy did it for self defence .

After the boy left I said no more e help , she will have to manage alone because I couldn’t help her anymore , but my house become dirty that I wouldn’t even want to bring in visitors because of the state of the house , dirty plates can stay in the sink for 3 -4 days , laundry she has a washing machine but she couldn’t bother to do , cooking we eats take away every single night , imagine I comes back home 9pm due to my job and Lagos traffic , at that time I’m even exhausted but I have to started cleaning , one time I got pissed with her that she didn’t wash the eldest daughter school uniform and all her uniform 5 sets of uniform were dirty and she had no clean one to put on in the morning , I have to wash them at 10pm and for her she didn’t see anything wrong with that.

When the twins were 1 years she told me she is tired of staying at home that she wanted to go to work , I have told her to wait at least for them to be a year and 6 months to start school before she can pursue her career but she disagreed with me, so I gave her money for business , she opened a shop . We had an agreement that she should be closing down her shop at 7pm so she could be home with the kids and take care of the house , she was ok and I got a elderly woman as a help , she doesn’t lives with us , she comes at 6 am and closes at 8pm and I also brought 2 of my nieces 18 and 11 to the house. Every since she started working she has never get home on time , sometimes she stays until 10pm , if I talk she get angry and will start raining insults on me , we haven’t make love in a long time , she always complains of being tired , her stomach is paining her etc etc. I have decided to leave her alone and not bother her about sex anymore , and it doesn’t bother too. She acts as im a nobody to her. So it happened in July I came back home to found my niece 11 years old with a deep cut and blood on her eyebrows and my wife did it just because the girl broke a plate so she hit the girl with the broken plate , first all I had to rush her to the hospital and she had 11 stitches and went back home, all I wanted to sit with her and to talk sense with her but she wasn’t even interested all she could do was shouting at me , accusing me of sleeping with both my nieces and the elderly house help , was so angry that I have beaten her badly which I later regretted and apologise to her.

That was the first time I have lay my hand on her something I vow not to do to the woman I love but she pushed me so bad and I have been remorseful but she refuse to forgive me . It’s now 4 months we don’t talk , we don’t sleep in the same room , she just do her own and come home anytime she pleases. I just don’t know what to do anymore , I love my wife and children but her attitudes isn’t right. We have 3 beautiful children 5and twins are 4. Sometime i want to divorce her but when I think about my children I just don’t feel like going ahead with divorce but I’m also a human and can’t stop living like this .

Please my brothers and sisters help me with your advices

Op, I felt like reading comments without saying anything but again I realised I really don't know how important it will be to reiterate what many other contributors have written so far.
Please note the following:
1. Your wife lack the right characters of a wife and a mother
2. Your wife do not respect you any longer ( that is if she ever did)
3. Your wife is an abuser- of you, the househelps, and finally your kids
4. Your wife has wrong people around her as friends and associates and she is getting the wrong advices
5. Your wife is very lazy and someone who shy away from her responsibilities as a wife, mother and helpmeet
6. You also started on a wrong note by not correctly correcting her. I know your type, those who want peace at all cost. Please note that #lack of war does not mean presence of peace.#
7. You have tolerated her excesses especially around abuses and laziness/irresponsibility/untidiness for too long.
8. Finally, it is your duty to nurse, nurture, correct, inspire and rebuke, admonish, praise and teach your wife as appropriate and applicable.
9. You wife has no trust (no matter how little) for you.
10. Your children are growing in a wrong environment, wrong inspiration, wrong attitude and may end up imbibing wrong characters.
11. If this continues, you will soon be the subject of her physical abuse. She has abused you psychologically, emotionally and sociologically already.


From all the above, kindly go back to the basis to redefine your marriage of 6 years. (Mine is about 9).
From the word go, your wife must have grown up in an environment that encourages and moulded the characters and attitude she is exhibiting. She must have picked those traits while growing. You need to get to the roots of these trait, start your corrections from that point.
Involving her parents may not be the right thing to do for now especially if you end up discovering that she picked her characters from her childhood experiences at home. You will end up complicating issue.
Please, you need to be decisive in your actions and corrective measures going forward. Let her know every action is consequential. Please #do not lay your hand on her again-no matter your level of anger#
Get a counselor (anyone she respect and will respond to, if any though) who have the spirit of God and old enough to counsel both of you.
Pray for her, for your home, for the kids.
Make character building, modelling and upbringing of the kids your assignment (a very important one) and teach them the fear of God, love for fellow man, respect for others ( no matter their status and estate in life).
If there is no change after all the counseling and steps above, know you have been wrongly yoked and may need to follow other options (seperation- not divorce inclusive), especially where the abuse (emotional and psychological) continue. You did not marry to #burn#.
Finally, do correct in love. I am sorry for your pain bro.

delishpot:
Yes you messed up by not sitting with her since you say na romantic outing. But she is also a big disaster waiting to happen. She is rude and obnoxious. Has no class basically.
Na one chance she be. Shine your eyes before you take it a step further. Make sure she has the character you can live with.

Well, I share your thoughts. She either lack character or she had other appointment and she weighed her options and realised the other one is more rewarding.
Oga, let her be.

And El- rufai want to relocate to Kogi to procure election for Bello. It is only in Naija that a man house will be on fire and he will go to his neighbour's to settle quarrel.

Zenithsblog:
A doctor working at the Federal Road Safety
Commission Clinic in Abuja has been accused of refusing to treat woman who stopped him from molesting her.

Ashmusy who took to Instagram to share the story wrote;



See more:
https://zenithnaija.com/frsc-doctor-refuses-to-treat-woman-who-stopped-him-from-molesting-her/

Sincerely I am shocked. You may want to re-read what you wrote when you cool down. If I were the doctor, I will sue you for libel.
Your wife refused a doctor from performing a procedure on her because she had her reservation about a male doctor performing such procedure on her. She was granted her wish.
Mark my words. She has the right of refusal which she had exercised. I am so sure no one took her up on that. On the flip side, the doctor must have felt funny or embarrassed especially been an experienced medical professional (medical director). And since he had noticed the level of understanding and maturity cum reservation of the patient, it is also the right of the doctor to excuse himself from attending to her to avoid any story that would not add up such as this.
The only issue here is the idea of "walking her out" which I feel it was not right. He could have referred her to another doctor or another clinic. But I will like to hear from him first.
Now to the crux of the matter, you were never a witness to this man molesting any one, neither did he molest your wife ( at least, he did not perform the procedure eventually). So relying on hearsay and the story narrated above to call a chief medical director a " pervert" and accused him of "molestation" is a joke taken too far.
Like I said, if I were in the MD's shoes, I will sue you for libel and follow it up to its logical conclusion. I just hope the female (careless) talkers (staff) will be available as witnesses and be ready with proof(s) when this iron get too hot for you to hold.