₦airaland Forum

Nigeria happened to him despite his surname and Lagos origins. Easiest way to know a country has failed is when it's middle class runs away! Soon, what will be left behind won't be the rich and the poor, but the criminals and the poor. And one will have to consume the other to survive.

In a country where bail is free but your freedom is negotiable, the police are no different from kidnappers.

DeepSight:
Verily! And Lo and behold! Prepareth thyself for the horrors to convene in thy bed chamber tonight!

I'm in my bed chamber right now, with my sight on something bright & massively luscious! No horrors tonight.

DeepSight:
Greetings.

I am Special Attorney to his high and noble excellency, Field Marshall Alhaji Dr. Falseprophet1, VC, DSS, MNi, Lord of the Beasts of the Earth and Fish of the Sea, Commander of the Mortal Empire of the Earth.

I hereby rebuke and chastise you for the reference above done without permission. This is strictly forbidden and is a violation of his excellency's trademarked refrain "This I have seen."

Please further note that commencing Jan 1 2024, his Eminence has granted me special powers to determine those in need of his prophecies and I herewith determine that you are in such dire need.

Please note that the prophecy is compulsory, you cannot refuse it, and it comes with a mandatory fee of N10,000 only, a merciful grace on account of the kindness of his excellency.

Payment details will be communicated to you, and you are most fearfully and darkly warned that any attempt to escape payment will be visited with the most dire and unwholesome terrestrial and spiritual consequences.

Be guided accordingly.

Signed

Special Attorney to his Excellency
Alhaji Pastor Falseprophet1

From the Temple of Thorough Falsity

By Fiat.


Cc: The High RevDesm0ndJuju

Kikikiki ....talk true, you dey find N10k for fuel abi?? I go send am.

Just imagine, that kid has only been in this world a little over 365days and he's already been acquainted with the word, mvthafvka! Well, I guess better now than later because every straight man is most definitely a mvthafvka, myself included!!

Na the developers wen go form building committee for tower of Babel, cause am!

You for put the number of marks the question go carry, since you're now a Jamb invigilator!

Fine boi, what a waste! Don't you dare rest in ☮️, better come back and hunt all the mvthafvkn politicians that made ur time on Earth a brutal struggle!

How is this a testament to transparency when the news had to go viral before they were arrested? How many others in times past have slipped through or are we expected to believe these six are the first to go through that route??

firearcher:
Lol. Do you know Jonathan Akpoborire?

Save your breath, Gen-Z are all opinion without knowledge.

The Ijaws are neither builders nor developers, so which wan be Ijaw city in PH!. Bayelsa State that is 98% predominantly Ijaw with only eight LGAs, how many things ona don build for dia?? Abeg Ebi rest.

DSS bastards, Governor bastard?? Kikikiki .... before the end of today this guy will be in tears. This I have seen through the eyes of a Falseprophet!

Who can blame him?? . He had two choices, fall back to Nairaland or use scalding hot Eforiro to swallow big lumps of pride and apologize. One look into his brainchild, and he'd rather burn his mouth than burn braincells trying to understand all the ignorant & crappy tribal arguments here!

Enugu became a municipality in 1952, and elected it's first mayor, Mallam Umaru Altine, with no one throwing tantrums that his parents were from Sokoto State! Even if history is not taught in schools, study to show yourself approved before you open your mouth in public. The Igbo man's first concern when transacting is ability & capacity, not mother's village. If another ethnicity wins an election there, it'll be because the indigenes voted massively for him, and not because his village people are many there!

N37.1 Billion ....and some people still think a bogus subsidy regime is responsible for the current hardship facing Nigerians right now. Keep waiting for things to get better while voting the wrong people into power. How many times will they tell you, only a mad man does the same thing over again while expecting a different result each time!

"Subsidy is gone!" No one is clapping anymore!

He has proven himself loyal, no principal in Nigeria would overlook that. Omo-Agege did same and was rewarded with the position of DSP that never benefitted anyone but his own. How much more one that defended the sovereignty of his home State, he needs to be brought close since the enemies of his principal are much closer.

What is becoming apparent now is that the only opposition party in Nigeria is the Labour Party. Never afraid to speak truth to power, and quick to point out that the king is riding naked, LP is now small motor big engine! Na statistics we go chop and his supporters have run out of excuses as the incompetence of their administration is becoming more and more glaring with each passing day!

Four months was how long the previous administration claimed it'd take them to wipe away insecurity in the country. They stayed eight whole years in Aso Rock and left the security of the nation in worse shape than they met it. The 2nd week of July, 2023, was the date given for Dangote's refinery to commence distribution. This is January 2024, and the refinery has not even refined sugar talkmore of crude oil! From Vision 2010 of Abacha to Vision 2020 of OBJ, no single projection has ever been achieved because we invented the African time!

I hope they named that their first child Moses, because na lost and found im be!

Barims:
Fool, calling someone whose you didn't administer an IQ test to determine his measure of his intelligence is also a sign of low IQ


Lamebrain, you shot yourself in the foot

Hian, I'm worried that u'll give ursef brain fatigue on my account. If you're defending longer-throat police officers in public, then you also have longer-throat and a low IQ to air those opinions in public, opari! No test needed when the evidence is as clear as Seven Up. So leave the thesaurus u're using to look for big big inglish and seek instead for deliverance from the spirit of hunger & longer-throat. I won't reply you again until I receive confirmation that you have been delivered from that evil spirit.

Barims:
You are very dumb! Your stupidness is extraordinary it must have be hereditary

I won't waste a second of time to engage an idiot whose stupidity revolves in his lineage.

Repetitive speech is a sign of unintelligence in humans. So I take it you're suffering from a low IQ as well as longer-throat, and it's also hereditary! Na wa o, bros, ur deliverance go tay oo!

Barims:
Rubbish talk

The extraordinary length of your neck in your profile pic is enough evidence that longer-throat is a dominant gene in your family line. No be me be ur problem dis morning, na hunger dey worry you!

The best kind of leaders are those that make you want to be the best version of yourself just by being themselves. Since the campaigns his movements has attracted a lot of media attention. But with or without all the media buzz this is who this man really is, a man with sympathy for his fellow man. And that is all Nigeria needs! Okwute, the rock upon which the new Nigeria will be built!!

The entire constabulary of the NPF needs reeducation, not just those ones. There's no justification for acting like a beggar while on duty, no be you suffer pass! If the pay is that poor, then the only reason they still come to work is because they're involved in crime. And yes, before you quote me to justify longer-throat, accepting bribe as well as offering it, is still a crime anywhere in the world!

The overzealous security operative was following protocol rather than reading the room. Our constitution empowers the president with almost absolute powers over every citizen of Nigeria, but he is not always the most powerful person in the room.

So her only purpose in all her numerous previous lives is to marry a that man, dey play! Na Naija your spirit pursue am reach so, and at a time he's living a broke life. That your restless spirit go finally rest by the time sapa reformat im brain!

My bestie my bestie, yet every other night dem go dey plug their oraimo cord for another person charging port!

The tribe of women. What's with Nigerians and all these foolish tribal comparisons sef!

When the story broke with them accusing the deceased of rape, I knew it was a crime of passion by the husband! Muslim men are like apes when it concerns their women. Even if they're married to sixteen women, they'll still break ya head if they catch you lost in their bashiga! In a world with triple more women than men, why this fine neegha would want to waste his prime frickin years on someone else's property is totally beyond me!

After all the 'replies & dones', make ona no forget pay matching ground oo!