₦airaland Forum

omoseun:
I don't remember writing in my post that I lived a wayward life, neither did I mention having multiple abortion so please if you don't have something better to say, stay off my case and simply direct your response to the OP rather than analysing my comment.

And I didn't infer that you led a wayward life. I Just gave you scenarios where most men won't take honesty about such an issue and proceed with marriage.

Maybe you calm down and reread what is written.

rigarmortis:
You type plenty but convey little, you side stepped my questions as to why Odi and Zaki, which were not full fledged insurgencies were not mentioned, and before you mention AI, not that as a sitting government, you dont need AI to probe wrong and excessive use of force, you even left out the biafra episode, recall black scorpions statement that he shoots anything that moves, and the starvation policy which was defended by saying that it was needed to end the war, you also questioned my use of collateral damage, do you know the meaning or you just wanted to usw the word ''temerity'' in a sentence and lastly you concluded that i am biased due to tribal sentiments when you dont even know my tribe, i didnt mention or abuse any tribe and those accused cuts across the three major regions.

Good luck.

You don't need to abuse or curse a tribe before you show your ethnic leanings.


If you would call an investigative inquest into the extra judicial killings of your fellow countrymen selective without reputable facts but would go on to list other atrocities that happened in the past from a select place then I don't need a soothsayer to tell me your bias.


Reflect on the following quotes of yours.

Plus, trust me, most of the killings of captured people was done by the villagers themselves and sometimes it will be the soldiers that would come and rescue them so they can get info from them.

Compare that to Odi and Zaki where whole villages were razed and even children killed.

You just told us to brush off the Baga and Bama case because you feel what happened in Odi was worse without you presenting empirical facts to support it and you also just told us, it was the villagers killing themselves contrary to what the Nigerian Army told us that they were hiding the terrorists that's why most villages were razed. So which do we believe?


Please next time, bring facts when arguing. It makes things more interesting.

rigarmortis:
Dont you agree with me that it would seem selective to probe just one out of the many?

Considering that this was outright warfare, with some guerilla fighting?

Collateral damage is bound to occur, i sincerely feel for the families who got caught on the wrong side though, but in the history of man there has never been a war without the death of innocent ones.

I hope you dont beleive those videos, the NA are not so stupid to film themselves shooting peeps then post same on the internet.

Plus, trust me, most of the killings of captured people was done by the villagers themselves and sometimes it will be the soldiers that would come and rescue them so they can get info from them.

Compare that to Odi and Zaki where whole villages were razed and even children killed.

If you want probe, then start from the begining, otherwise it would look like a witch hunt.

Even world war probes are going on.

There is nothing selective as regards anything. You have no facts as regard this issue and would do well to look at Amnesty's reports before commenting. A whole town was raised and burnt and you say there are no kids in there? You even have the temerity to call it collateral damage?

There's no need for a comparison. You can always open a case with change.org or even file a claim with AI(I heard they allow that) asking for an inquest into the other killings and I would gladly sign it.


This is more pronounced and lots of evidence of it abound including satellite imagery from AI.

The war is ongoing and this investigation is directly tied to the success or failure of the campaign against BH. I understand your bias but ethnic loyalty does not follow logical reasoning.

rigarmortis:
Very good post.

But who was probed for the Odi, Zaki and other massacres?

That successive government didn't probe that has only allowed for it continuation and led to what happened Baga and Bama occurring again.

That Odi and Zaki Biam were not probed till date does not make what the Nigerian soldiers did there right. I believe we need to open all cases of alleged extra judicial killings so we can teach the culprits that you have no right to take the life of another without resort to what the law states.

The armed forces would attach caution next time, if they know they would be punished for such recklessness in the line of duty.

obua:
My friend learn to talk with facts.
Non of the inland steel mills are functioning. There power requirements can't be met by the current setup. The have to look at building new power stations. The requirements for input materials can't be met by road haulage. Most of those public companies were not well planned before execution.
Dangote we all know is a serious business man and will do a very thorough job.

And the other newly developed private rolling mills just 5km from where this steel rolling mills is situated is still working perfectly even with a dedicated power line from the Osogbo sub station. If you must know, Osogbo has one of the best power supplies in the whole of Nigeria and energy is never a problem for any large industry situated around it.


The mill also has a dedicated rail line so what is the rubbish you are yarning about haulage and energy?


Stop responding to posts you don't have an idea of. Dangote acquired this rolling mills not because he wanted it developed or useful. It was just an acquisition to stand as collateral for loans he wanted to take coupled with the fact that it was highly undervalued because the stupid Federal Govt at that time sold it out to their cronies for a plate of soup.


Same thing happened to his 3G license he acquired early in 2004 or so that he had to later sell to etisalat.


No qualms with acquiring businesses, but first the lives of workers are at risk and also the privatisation laws clearly state that you must resume operations within a time frame of acquisition or else the sale would be revoked but we are in the jungle called Nigeria where some men are above laws.

omoseun:
My simply advice is don't tell the guy. Most men are not strong enough to handle such information. Most time , even the man that put a girl into such situation end up leaving the her.

I know this because I experience this first hand. Glory be to God, today am a mother of 2 beautiful girls

I didn't tell my hubby because that was my past, I only did all that needed to be done both medically and spiritually. I even got pregnant before my marriage.

Would you have come here to say the same thing if it turned out the other way round?

Lets reverse the role and see if you would have been happy to learn after marriage and trying everything possible to conceive that your husband is impotent and he knew about this even before marrying you.

Isn't that interesting? Several inconsistent lies is enough to make me never to trust you not to talk of something that big.

Most men can take such honesty when the cause was through a natural cause like a disease she had while young, an honest mistake due to youthful exuberance or something forgivable.

What we can't take is someone telling me they made a mistake and aborted 2,3,4,5,6 times to the point of damaging their wombs and still want me to be believe such was an honest mistake and accept them. Tufiakwa.

Ma'am you knew what you were doing and I won't be interested in joining such journey of repaying for your misdeeds.

Jorussia:
I think it is very wrong, for you to liken the fight against BH with that of a "mere communal security itch"The war against BH is by far much complicated than that of a communal conflict.You need to understand that when a community, hide BH terrorist sin its fold,what ever military exercise to be carried out there,the community must pay for it.

Communal security itch you call it?

What happened in Odi, Bayelsa was a communal itch? I guess it was complicated also that's why the soldiers killed and raped members of the community.


The Apo 5 in abuja some few years ago is also a communal hitch?

Police and other armed officers raiding and terrorising an entire community because an armed robber was presumed to have escaped through such community is also a war zone to you abi?


I don't need to go back and forth with you since you ascribe to extra judicial killings and jungle justice.

Your type are far removed from the reality of things.

Just try this. Go report to the Nigerian police that you have an armed robber living near you and see what happens. If you won't be locked up and harassed on how you knew they were armed robbers if you weren't one of them. Numerous Nigerians have reported crimes only for the authorities to turn around and witch hunt them.

You expect people who have zero confidence in the armed forces, extensive language barrier and general neglect by the government to go report that they have suicide bombers in their midst? When we all know such actions is akin to shooting yourself in the leg as;

1. They would have no protection from the military.

2. They are helpless against the terrorists

3. Our forces are highly incompetent when handling civilian relations as they only believe in force and violence to resolve thorny issues.

4. No witness protection programs

In fact any member of a community in the North East that tries reporting has just committed suicide by reporting.

Not only that, the government should never descend to the level of savages. If a community is found aiding and abeting crime. You don't pick people from there and start shooting them point blank or burn hundreds of houses in the community. That's why there is a court of law. Everyone has a right to life and should be given fair trial for their actions. Government and it's agencies are there to protect people not brazenly kill hundreds.

Jorussia:
look here, i commented based on my personal conviction, you don't have to bring my family into this matter. What about the families of those that have been wasted by BH?

Nah...I had to bring your family into it cos your last post was that of someone who lacked compassion or has his head buried in the mud.

Question again is, would you have recommended this be swept under the carpet if this happenned in your town or village?

Should we sweep it under the carpet because the people affected are unknown to us and happen to come from the North?

The way some of you people on here behave and think, makes it feel like the people maimed or killed by BH, wrongly maimed or killed by the Nigerian Army are lesser humans, not Nigerians or they have no families who grief their demise.

An injustice to one is an injustice to all no matter what skin colour, environment or language they speak. They are humans like you and I and the least we could ask for is an unbiased investigation into this and bringing the culprits to book.


Else Next time it might be your village in turmoil and the soldiers would be drafted to quell the unrest. Only that they won't do their jobs but go on raping and killing innocent people. It's simple. Look at the bigger picture.

Jorussia:
.This matter is a very controversial issue, I believe pmb will be doing the nation good, if he sweeps that report on under the carpet. For the sake of the morale of our troops on the front line, that report should not be attended to.

I hope you would recommend that it should be swept under the carpet if the extra judicial killings happened in your town and your family was affected?

Agree?

coogar:
go with your boyfriend!
it would be painful, there would be tears, there would be denials but you would be doing yourself a world of good to get these things off your chest.

that's about the only way your heart can be healed!

Confronting the abuser has nothing to do with her healing. If she had been touched by someone unknown would you have advocated she constitute an ultimate search to seek the unknown person and confront him before she knows peace?


@op.

You need psychology help and this should come from a professional. They need to help draw out that memory and replace it with something pleasant or make you see reason to accept fate and learn to move on. Might take a lot of time but since your partner is in on this, makes it more easier.

If you later want to out your uncle or whoever so as to prevent him from doing same to others, fine. But using that as the basis of your healing is not advisable now.

joywendy:
two more comments and the verdict will be taken

All right glamsquard, all the best

Seems like the hair was served on her head like a plate of porridge.

No comment about other other things.

bellong:
It is no compulsion to marry who you love but it is of great importance to love who you marry.

Love is not an emotional feelings or butterfly cring when you see the person. It is a decision to be just, fair, caring faithful to your marital vow to whoever you marry.


Love can sustain a marriage by my definition of it.

However, the emotional love is only a mirage that can hold any union for long. It will fade one day and the lovebirds would become sworn enemies.

The bolded is exactly what most don't understand. They believe it is about something that comes effortlessly. They just have to sit down to daydream about some fairytale and they have achieved love. They believe its that melting feeling of passion.

Nah, passion has an height and would always falter and fade away at a point. What would hold you after then is that commitment to equity, fairness, sacrifice and doing what is best for the upliftment of the other person.

justi4jesu:
No atleast i can jump out of the window if need be but this one is crash to finish, even my shoes they wont find. Chaii I just hate flying

You can always jump out of the back hull also. You may just end up crushed by the engine or a in tree in the middle of nowhere.

But seriously, airplanes are safer than cars as long as the necessary safety routines are followed. Major that may be a problem is the weather and those can be accurately predicted. The chance of an accident is very minimal in comparison to going by road. You always have to be on guard. Your driving may be cautious and good but what about the other foolish road user who may bump you from the back or jump their lanes to yours? Or a burst tyre while running 140? or a sudden brake failure?

justi4jesu:
Ha my fear of flying has just increased by 200 percent

Humans are more likely to die of a road crash than an air crash. That's a fact. Airplanes crashing are just big time news and more propagated than road accidents. For every 1 person that dies from an air crash, 100 more people have perished from roads accidents within the same time frame.

You should consider skipping transport by cars also?

Most ladies are guilty of that.

Chai...I know I can never use her number as an emergency contact else you don enter one chance.


For the married ones I guess kids and lots of distracting things they have to battle with is one reason. For the single ones the bags they carry is one reason. Most males always have their phones on their body I.e pocket but ladies? Always in the bag.


Op..Just learn to make sure you agree on the things you want her to do before leaving home so the need for important calls would be minimal.

Just like yesterday. It is over.

Congrats bro.

Thanks to everyone who helped in one way or the other. With your little help , You just made the dream of someone you have never met or seen come to pass. I pray God continue to bless the ways of everyone connected to this. Amin


@bellong. Sir, you just disappeared?

sholay2011:
Hmmmmm...


Thanks.

Dont be surprised, worked around there for a short period of time and I always have this bird's eye view of such locations stored somewhere.

By the way send a message. Lost the number again...

sholay2011:
Thanks bro.

Just enter bus going to lekki-ajah. Tell them you are dropping at Ikate roundabout. It is the third roundabout after the toll gate. Cross over and it has a street gate designed by Gtb. Walk 5 NEPA polls, The Manor is the brown building to your left. Best wishes.

Aren't you guys ever tired of this back and forth argument. Someone has an issue she needs help with. Respond to her post , give whatever advise and move on. Arguing on such things only confuse the op the more.

No one needs your thesis on who cheats most and why people cheat. You can always open numerous thread as regards that.

MoNickk:
no o. u guys av got no chill. may end up de-crushing them. y not upload a pic of yours? I sure would have fun critiquing.

I doubt, you would have much fun. I dress like the regular male around the block.

However, as much as I would have loved to upload one. It is an anonymous forum and would like to keep my anonymity intact. Since you have no issues with such. Care to upload yours?

MoNickk:
be merciful na. He is one of my many celebrity crushes.

So you have many of them?

OK. Let's see another pic of one of your crushes.

I hope it won't end up a trend else u may have to question your taste.

andromida:
Yes one or two words will do the trick.

My head needs to boot. Don't worry., would get around that soon. Would beep you when I figure it out

andromida:
Ehn ehn something to trigger my memory please.

Can I help with that?

let me see.

joy...

No he shouldn't get a better stylist. Monickk should get herself a better crush .


The fine he has to pay should be paid by her on his behalf and sent to my account.

andromida:
I never see am o.

That's what you think but the reality is contrary.

luxanne:
Tashaamania sweerie,

We've got some nairalanders who gave us their words to participate next (this)edition,


Bangleslover and Monickk

Onegig and Joywendy

Luxanne. This arrangement you are making there is God o.

Joy is actually my sister. Invitation kindly declined.

I understand you but also I believe this "panicking" is uncalled for. Question is, even if someone is harboring such misinformation to tarnish your image, Is their version and perception of what transpired true?

If the answer is no. Why bother about such info? Also, precautions like always being upfront to anyone you date or intend to marry about what happened in the past can mitigate against such occurrence. If such info leaks in future they already know you covered that ground and would not flick an eyelid.

andromida:
Pic please

@ the crush the background is not helping things

I knew you would ask that's why I inserted a caveat. You probably have seen it before.

jibloh:
Thank you for your contribution. Where U̶̲̥̅̊ said 360I, U̶̲̥̅̊ meant 36K?

yeah. Auto correct errors.

Ok. I seem to get the idea of what the "crime" is.

From the little talk we have had here what I have deduced is that you aren't true to yourself.

First you are in self denial that something bad didn't happen, you are just concerned of what people think and the backlash.

The second is related to the first. You aren't taking responsibility for your bad decisions. Yes, you had something inappropriate with someone who probably was an authority and we could all blame the person for using your naivety against you but you have to at least take responsibility for whatever happened. It takes two to tango and you lacked the will to back down at that point except maybe you were a minor when it happened. Passing the buck would only make it worse with time. You maybe blaming yourself now, but the way words are written and constructed actually carries alot more detail about what the thoughts behind the writings are. From what I can infer from your words. You are sorry because this came out and has a chance of negatively affecting your future.

Taking responsibility is not actually blaming oneself, it's about looking at things with a clear view and accepting ones inadequacies. No one is infallible. Once you understand that, you should take it from there.

Third, forget what people say as regards what you did in the past affecting your future. Your past can only shape your future if you don't take charge and navigate it towards the positive direction you always wanted. Yeah, Karma is real but karma can always be averted by taking the right steps in seeking forgiveness and trying to erase such past misdeeds with good ones. However, forgiveness comes on the backdrop of honesty and true remorse. You are more concerned about the idea that people know of the crime you committed than you commiting it. Guess you wont flinch an inch if the news as regards what you did wasnt leaked.

Lastly no matter what ills you have committed in the past, you would need to open up in future to whomever you get tangled with at a point. If that person truly loves you they wouldn't look at your past misdeeds but at what steps you have taken to correct such and if you are truly a changed person. We all have made mistakes in the past and no one is without sin. Coming clean to them personally is a big deal and is better than allowing them learn of the truth or half truths from outside sources. I believe you should stop worrying your head about what's in the past and start living in the present. Take it step by step.

Not judging you but sometimes issues like this need the facts and not a pity party and it's an anonymous forum madam.

It's not that simple but you just have to try harder.

But wait....What is so bad that you have to feel so depressed about the thought of a crime you didn't commit?

Also, you are limiting yourself by not going for what you want. Even armed robbers and worse people who have turned positive go on to live their lives example Shina Rambo who is now a man of God and so many like that let alone you that I "presume" hasn't done anything worse.

If I may ask, How big and bad is this crime?

You didn't commit it but it seems like you did to the outside world and you feel bad about the thought people have.


I understand being sensitive to such issues but last thing you should occupy yourself is with idle talk. You have your life to live and need to just turn a deaf ear to what people say. As regards affecting your family in future. I don't understand. How?

Maybe you open up about what happened to people around young At least they have the facts and not the heresays.

People would always talk about you. That's life. Except you did something terribly wrong and your conscience pricks you I don't expect you to be too concerned about what people say about your past misdeeds.

You sound like a lady. Am I right?

You made a mistake. Learn from it and try and take proactive steps to not make such but from the way you even sound. You are more concerned about what people say or their perception of you than the misdeeds you said you committed. This "mistake or whatever you did" MAY not even be a mistake. Just you looking at yourself from other people's eyes and reaching a judgement from such.