₦airaland Forum

Dis dying minutes,my intestines dey do me tinihi tinighi.Make I go look for mat come spread de lie down watch dis match.Today nah today.Cameroun go hear wire!

Rollins777:
*AGREEMENT BEFORE SEX!*

Due to the current and often false allegations made by women, which include Rape, Harassment, Blackmail etc. there is now an agreement to be signed before "action".

By. *Com. Usman Abdulgafar*

*AGREEMENT BEFORE SEX*

I, ___________________, the undersigned female partner (herein referred to as the 'Screwee'), am about to enjoy sexual intercourse with _________________ (hereafter referred to as the 'Screwer'), certify the following:

1. THAT I am above the lawful age of consent.

2. THAT I am not under the influence of liquor or any narcotic.

3. THAT the afore mentioned Screwer did not use any force, threats, coercion or promises to influence me.

4. THAT I, the Screwee, am in no fear of him whatsoever.

5. THAT I do not expect or wish to marry him.

6. THAT I do not know if he is married or not and neither do I care.

7. THAT I am neither asleep nor drunk.

8. THAT I am entering this relationship with him; because I love it and want it as much as he does.

9. THAT in the event that I receive full satisfaction, which I expect, I declare in advance the capacity and willingness for further participation at regular intervals.

10. THAT I will not act as a witness against him nor will I file charges against him in the event that,
(a) I contract an STD
(b) I become pregnant
(c) I feel that he is violating any legislation - moral, legal or otherwise.

SIGNED BEFORE JUMPING INTO BED

ON THIS ___ DAY
OF _____ (MONTH)
________ (YEAR)
AT ______ (AM/PM)

_______________________
(Signature of Screwee)

-------------------------------------
(Signature of Screwer)

Guys, is this cool?�‍♂�‍♂�‍♂�‍♂

*~~Com. Usman Abdulgafar*

kikikikikikikiiiii,o boi.... see agreement! Like say I want buy land for Asokoro.The terms"screwee" n "screwer" got me laffing n rolling on my bed early dis morning.

dadexcel:
SMH....all these do called celebrities and their gullible and unserious followers ...you leave a church because the pastor was accused of a crime as if the pastor owns the church or you have been going there all these while to worship the pastor....why not change your nationality as a Nigerian because buhari is alleged to have an organization or fulanization agenda....jokers ! and attention seekers

Are you people sure de man is talking about de accused pastor? I think he is addressing one pastor Flo for being silence over de issue.Orr is de pastor accused of rape pastor Flo?

Benekruku:
My humble and radiant self refuse to be deterred by mere threats that cant hurt a fly. My reputation has earned me honours across the world and If you care to know about my distinguished personality, I am presently an aspiring President being nurtured and trained to take over the big mantle of leadership of Akoko Community Development Forum.

I refuse to be threatened.

kikikikikikikiiiii!!!
When I saw initially 'aspiring president' .My mind goes to......2023.But upon reading 4der,I saw Akoko Development.... wetting wetting sef.I no fit laff.

After a careful look at all de comments here on dis thread,I have come to conclusion dat ur leadership is worse than dat of any oda governor in de current dispensation.Not dat odas r beta,but ur's is de worst.Mr Bello,how come,in a thread of abt 4 pages, nobody speaks in support of u,dey only speak against u? Based on dis,I hereby passed a vote of NO confidence on you! Run thou not for 2nd term!

Wot abt de one my Fernando Torres missed? After dribbling de defenders n de goalkeeper in de game a b/w de Blues n de Reds, leaving only him with an empty net.He den kicked de ball to only God knows where.I cudnt belif my eyes dat fateful evening.

Have they started giving the money directly to the L.G.As?

ayodaisi:
Ighalo tried not to be selfish next time. We forgive you

I tot is only God dat 4gives?

2nd half begins.We I making one or two incursions into the Germans 18m yards box.We r still watching!

AntiBrutus:
I will tell you to stand up with a very weird smile. I saw it on a flight I entered too, it played out same way.

Why sit on another's seat?
It is soooo uncourteous. Then they told the man there are plenty vacant seats. I was pissed in his behalf. A young guy o, just because he wanted to sit near one fine girl.

Smh!

But wetting de air hostess or flight attendants de do dia own? Dem no supposed de show piple especially first timers dia seats as printed in dia tickets? Even bus conductor for Peace Mass or AKTC Sabi arrange passengers according to tickets pass dem so called Air Hostess sef.

Mbilla:
Do you even have sense at all or your another mumu senseless Ghanaian. Last year , two Ghanaians who specializes in robbering and killing their victims with acid at Choba , Portharcount was arrested but Nigeria medias didn't tag all Ghanaians in Nigeria criminals and Nigerians didn't loot Ghanaians businesses and propeeties at Ghana Village in Portharcount. last two years in Abuja, a Ghanaian Susu and Lotto took all his Nigeria customers money ran back to Ghana and no Nigeria medias tag all Ghanaians in Abuja as criminals and no Nigerian looted any Ghanaian Goods and business in Abuja.
Last year , a Cameroonia killed her Nigerian boss and took her valuable properties and no Nigeria medias tag other Cameroonias living in Nigeria as criminals. Last year too, a Togolese killed his Nigeria boss who was MD in a big respected company and no medias in Nigeria tag every Togolese living in Nigeria as criminals and Nigerians didn't attack Togolese living in Nigeria. But let a Nigerian living in Togo, Ghana or Cameroon have an issue with a citizen of those countries or just a rumour that a Nigerian quarrel with any citizen of those countries I mentioned. Their medias will report it in various local language for more than two months, insult all Nigerians and called every Nigerians living in their country criminals and their lazy, jobless citizens would take law into their hands , kill and looted Nigerians goods and properties.
2008 Nation Cup in Ghana, Ghana and Nigeria played football match and Ghana won by 1 nil. But one old man in Tamale, Northern Region of Ghana used his Moto bike with microphone announced to every corner of Tamale that Nigerians are killing Ghanaians living in Lagos , Nigeria which is pure liar but before you know it thousands of Ghanaians came out looted Nigerians businesses and properties, killed 4 Nigerians and injured hundreds of Nigerians living in Tamale Ghana. But later it was confirmed that is a rumour and fabricated liar to harm Nigerians living in Tamale.
I lived in Ghana for two years and there is no village in Ghana that I don't know. Ghanaians hate seeing someone succeed even among themselves. All they like and cheerish much is dead bodies and mad peoples

Tell those who av never leave de shores of their villages here in Nigeria but stay here to see how Nigerians r criminals in small village-state like Ghana.Stewpid set of human beings dey are!

OlawaleSmarter0:
They can be right or wrong, if you don't like it stay away from their country


Nigerians can be kill for far less in China

I feel irritated by dis ur "if you don't like it stay away from their country" comment. Come to my state here in N.Delta, Ghanaians form a community for one costal local government....and I can bet u,dia not angels.We av never asked dem to stay away from our country.

Ironi:
Bleep ASUU or whatever they are , any Nigerian wakes up and develops the audacity to threaten Ghana. This shithead of a professor or whatever he calls himself should count himself lucky because if he comes to create problems, Ghana would bring the full force of their laws on his stupid head.

Ghana is a sovereign nation and every Nigerian should remember that.

Ghana has been accommodating to a lot of nonsense from Nigeria and it’s gradually getting there .

Will you stop talking thrash! Which sovereign nation? The one that cannot feed herself? Which of de African states has Nigeria not shown big brotherliness to? Berraaa stop that insult.

Freestainworld:
boob raters, over to you guys, another eve cannot come and kill me here, I have cut down the Apple trees in my compound.

kikikikikikikiiiii

OlawaleSmarter0:
Germany will just disgrace them, I don't know why they are celebrating

Why unah de tok football like dis?Who among those 16 teams tok say Im dey 100% sure say nah im go win ?If football nah as unah de tok, WHITE PAPER guys for don bcom billionaires by now.Cos dem go see fixtures like man u vs hudederfield n shouted Man U win n ova 4.5, wolves vs Chelsea; Chelsea wins n ova 5.5,Man City vs C.palace; home win both halves.In all dis,dem go sidon near me in viewing center n be tearing de papers n abusing de so called big teams at de end of each of those matches.
So free de 9ja babes first first make dem play Adolf Hitler's babes finish,den we go know say football no be for pages of news paper.

So I can painstakingly read like 5 pages of a given thread n still ended up being more confused than I was before on a particular subject matter? All I can see here is comment n countered-comments all over.Lemme go n sleep,if unah finally know de answer, make unah wake me up tomorrow to tell me.

Generalwoodz:
Because you are honourable...like a honourabe in future time...something like Honourable mrs parternerbizz5
Your university knows (it is a gift) that one day,you would either be senator,Rep member or Las las local Govt chairman..
Hope I made sence nlers ?

No,u r rather making nonsense!

You are a coward sir. How can you betray ur principal n pitched ur tent with an operasor

deltateam:
Who told you it was him that named them?

Aaahhh! U mean he is de father n de Russian woman or whosoever will do naming of his children without his concern or any input from him?

Mikel, which kind name u give those kids so?
U no see Chidima,chioma,Ngozi,Amarachi,Ezine,etc to give those fine pikins.Be kerful!!

Harrynight:
Where in the Constitution is it written that leadership position should be spread across ruling party members Alone?

Even if it's not specify in de constitution.The party ideological differences will not allow de ruling party permits an opposition party to control de parliament.They believe that the opposition leaders will be antagonizing dia policies since dey do not share de same ideology.Unless de opposition become de majority in de House,dey cannot produce de leader.

Harrynight:




Buh ain't this leadership stuffs suppose spread across the 6 Geopolitical zones?


What happened to south east?

The zone doesn't have people from the ruling party in NASS expecially H.Rept.If u people av allowed Kalu or Ngige to stay since last term,by now dey wud av become ranking senators.No how important position wudnt av bin given to them.By rite,de speaker of H. of Rept suppose to come from S,East because S.West has already gotten VP slot.But de zone doesn't have a ranking member for that.So next term, even though u r PDP zone, try n get one or two people from ruling party.Thats how politics is played.

sisisioge:
Madam, your own is a dear. The guy apparently loves and cares about you, unlike hers. Biko let me not put my single mouth in your marital issues. It is well.

kikikikikikikiiiii �������@single mouth.De statement funny me die!

Abfinest007:
I got no sympathy for u .what were u doing before u got to ur mid thirties .I guess u chase d serious guys away

De lady is dying emotionally n u are adding more salt to injury.She needs solution to her current predicament in marriage and not a reminder of her past mistakes (if there is any). Don't contribute to someone drinking sniper with ur comment in tym like this...oo.

GreatestA1:
I laughed when I saw nairaland. They are rules in the law profession that guild members of the profession, lawyers that is.

Kikikikikikikiiiii, don't mind me.

But on a more serious note.U mean if am a lawyer now,I can't advertise or market my services to the public for patronage?And if I do,NBA or whichever body will come n seize my license? If nah so,dem for don dey run after me tire.Becos I for de hustle..oo.No dull moment

GreatestA1:
You do realise this is against the Rules of professional conduct, specifically Rule 39 which prohibits advertising and Rule 47 which prohibits instigating litigation.

Remember how laboriously long it took you to bag your degrees and the sleepless nights you sacrificed to get to where you are as a lawyer. Don't end up being deroped.

Dis rules ,are dey in nairaland, in law profession or in Nigerian constitution?

deavicky:
put ur number down here I will need it, because I'm suspecting that my landlord will soon look for my trouble.

kikikikikikikiiiii,bros take tym

kittykollinxx:
So sad, he's going to be under dembele shadow

Who is Dembele?

See as all of unah Nigeria fans come de vex say unah loose.So unah bin really get hope on dis team? I tire for unah...oo! A team wer carry last for nation cup qualifier(best looser), come world cup still go carry last for group stage (best looser) nah im unah bin get hope to go win world cup or even reach quatre finals?
Unah see unah life? No be heart attack unah dey invite so?

northvietnam:
This woman is sick Oooo.....

I think say vitamin C is gotten from these fruits

Cantaloupe.

Citrus fruits and juices, such as orange and grapefruit.

Mango.

Pineapple.

Strawberries,

Blueberries,

cranberries.

Watermelon.
.....

No broda! It's gotten from ocean bed and it is possessed.U nefa shii sumting!

johnkay1:
Our education sector needs total reformation. Rather than adding more institutions, upgrade the existing ones to the word standard. It is not by number, it is by quality.

U r correct especially concerning de issue of this specialized universities.De people of Niger Delta pleaded with president Goodluck Jonathan to upgrade de only existing federal Maritime institution in de country est.since 1978( Maritime Academy of Nigeria,Oron,AKS) to a Maritime University.But he refused.Instead he went n established a new maritime University in Okorenkoko.If he had listen to de voice of de people,by now,de University in Oron wud av started a degree program.It wud av also been cost effective for fed.gov cos facilities are already on ground.It was just upgrading that was needed.

Daviddson:
No peace for the wicked. He's doing all of these because he himself is not at peace. I learned he doesn't sleep in a particular place twice in a row. These kind of people...you don't even know what can offend them. You may even advice him on how to increase his power and make himself more feared and respected and he ends up killing you. The people working with him can hardly think ill of him because they're afraid he might be listening in on their thoughts.

Kikikikikikikiiiii ������