₦airaland Forum

Long One:
^^^ haven’t you heard the phrase ‘the more, the merrier’ or[b] 'two heads are better than one'?
[/b]

Hey that means Man and Woman or Husband and Wife.Not what you think.

The more the merrier? i need to ask mswati if this is indeed true

Long One:
^^^ lol, okay, I rest my case then.

_{Walks out of the room like a dog with it’s tail between it’s legs}

Long One:
you are married? 

Yes to the village chief. Ask Nayah cz she attended the wedding. Naya sema ndio usikatae.

Nayah:
habari oh Pendo where have you been, you abandonned me   lol
Tureal she was slimer, but since she delivered she took some weight, but some men are a bit selfish because when they are getting belly, we their wives are not able to leave them because of that

Oh no no dear.Niko area

Women need to take care of their weight seriously.See most women give birth and sit down with their feet on sofa waiting to be fed like invalids.
They eat a lot of starchy foods because they have been told they need to eat for bosom milk to flow.
But in the process they start putting on weight so that by the time weaning starts they have put on sooo much weight shedding it becomes an issue.
There are some women with 3 to 4 kids who look stunningly gorgeous.
You cant even compare them with some singles who dont have kids at all.
Ask her to do it for her own self esteem not so much the hubby's sake cz that's just a small excuse hes giving.

Its possible to derive sexual and emotional satisfaction from one partner only.

Anybody who believes that monogamy is boring has personal issues to deal with and thy need not marry.

Nayah:
Hello brothers, just ask you if you're really focused on weight when it comes to your fiancé/wife? I'm asking because I know someone who throw an ultimatum to his wife saying that either she lose weight, either they will separated themselves

Do weight is really so important for that this can lead to separation?

Enjoy

Sasa Nayah

Please ask her to lend me some.My hubby who happens to be the 'village chief' thinks am too slim.He needs a michelin kind of wife.
Threatened to divorce me and marry a fat one cz I embarass him.People think he doesn't feed me well.
Its preference. some love fat others slim.
But take care of your weight not for your hubby's sake but for own good as well.

emofine:
What is the purpose of having more than one person in a relationship?. . . .does the second partner complement the first partner i.e. what one partner lacks the other contains?

Is it emotionally exhausting (i.e expending much love) or perhaps emotionally rewarding (i.e two people "loving" you back)?

Is "love" dispensed 100 percent to each lover or is it shared between each partner?

1.The purpose is to feel safe.That doesn't make it right cz its stems from insecurity and is selfish
2.The other partner does not compliment unless you are the selfish type again. If you dont get sex from one the other fills the gap.
-There's no such thing as the perfect partner so better make good use of what you consider your best.
3.Emotionally exhausting? yes.How do u feel rewarded when you are playing a sick game.Your conscience convicts you daily so it can't be satisfying.
4.Love dispensed 100% to each lover? Only if your name is Jesus Christ. The rest of us have conditional hearts. The condition determines the amount of love you get.That means you cant give 100% love to many partners but a fraction.

Ok am no expert in this so I could be wrong.

NO thank you.

Cuddlemii:
I don't know who stole u away from me Satani or ms potato but I am glad u have come back.

One welcomed me while the other haunted me

Am a free molecule now.Its nice to be one.

k time to hit the sack.

bye all

coogar:
i can't believe you pack those heavy funbags and people are starving to death in somalia.
cut one off and send it down to africa. . . .and the famine in somalia will end.

for the first time am busting into this room to rebuke you.
Please please dont make fun of the somalia issue. Babies there were suckling their dead mothers bosoms in scorching heat.
We are helping and sending food and money to the NGOS' everyday and the situation is improving.
be kind enough not to make fun of it. Bye and cheers

get a tracking device installed in you right away. I dont trust that dude at all.
Theres a thin line between stalking and toasting you here. Don't underestimate the power of desperation.

sulphur

kistehsia.I would like to hear a good ending to this.

My hearthrob could be in a place called 'agege' you know. _{pliz dont ask me where that is cz i gt know clue}

And I wouldnt like distance to be a hindrance.

claremont:
Of course you are, and then David Cameron is my cousin!

And what d u call that? not derailing of course

please guys lets respect thread.

Its not about pendo.

coogar:
i know it's pendo.
won't you come over so we can meet too?

No thanks I aint going nowhere.There are many fishes around you. Just open your eyes and fish well.Who knows,I could be a thief!

kistehsia:
It is mutual,  seems to be an equal amount of interest,  not one sided! @ pendo  May I ask why you asked this question?  He faithfully phones the same time everyday, faithfully talks via web cam the same time every evening as we are only an hours difference in time,  and we say our good nights till the next day.

I am just overwhelmed by your kind of heart. It was just personal question.Right now all am thinking about is those 40 infants and the drug addicts you helped and the lives you transformed.Now am here hoping that the guy will share that kind of heart.Be kind,patient and understanding.
He seems like a nice kind o guy.with the constant calls,webcam etc. Those are good the next step is better and safe.


I pray that it works out since you are planning on meeting him.Am sure you know what you want which is good.

Cheers.

Yes am Pendo.

coogar:
pendo, is that you?

kistehsia:
Yes, meeting him is the beginning of it all,  and it is going to happen.  I look forward to the visit with each day,  as does he, but in the mean time we have plenty to talk about and will not feel like total strangers when we do meet in person,  a pleasant way to start the relationship.

kistehsia.

May I ask Kistehsia who between you too is more eager to meet the other?

kistehsia:
Hi there,
I too have just started a long distance relationship,  very new to me!  I want very much to make it work, I am Canadian (white/native),  He is Nigerian (residing in Mexico),   Not only are we dealing with the different culture but also an age gap, me being the older of the 2.

I have been totally honest with everything there is to tell about myself, including the fact that I have two small daughters I have adopted (age 5) one is African/ Vietnamese and the other White/Native,  My family is very open to inter-racial relationships,  and very accepting.  My bf tells me his family and friends are supportive as well.  

I am a stay at home mom who loves to cook and mind children,  have cared for over 40 infants the past 15yrs who are victims of HIV, AIDS and drug and alcohol abuse,

Now I want to share my life with someone and care for them, and make happy memories together,

Any advice on making this relationship work is greatly appreciated, I have fallen in love with this sweet compassionate man!  No nasty replies please, just want to do all I can to make it work!

Thank you  Smiley

May God bless you and increase your days on earth.That is very touching.
I only got one fear.Hooking up with somebody that doesnt have/share your kind of heart.

These online talk is fun but I don't think its safe pouring all your emotions into it till you meet the person.
People are not all that they seem to be online,so meet them in person b4 u get your heart broken and your dreams wasted by some dude.

[quote author=Czar-Chris link=topic=748658.msg9048346#msg9048346 date=1314805565]@pendo89, very sensible talk my dear, but i've gotta be honest, its kinda annoying.[/quote]Thats the essence of relationships.By the way am fond of asking this as wel . But I say so 'whats for dinner' or 'whats for breakfast?'
From there we can discuss culture, food types and soo many things.It's a warm up to get the communication going.
so relax.Next time suprise her with 'have you eaten'? Am sure you will never hear it from her again. She will notice.

The best proven and well known exercise that gets women back to shape are kegel exercises.
Ask her to talk to women that have done that and let her hear from the horses' mouth. Talk even to the best doc.
Women slack down there cz they do nothing but seat after natural childbirth
Most modern women go for C-S.

disadvantages

Its expensive and takes longer to heal.Besides it leaves one scarred at the bikini area.
You can't have many cs cz they weaken your tummy muscles.
Its difficult for a woman to get rid of the tummy fat but with natural birth its quick and easy.
Ok I could be wrong but I dnt think so.

If a woman fears natural then cs is available. Weigh the advant and disadv.

from pendo [s]_{certified obstetrician and gynaecologist}[/s]

5stardude:
@pendo89 your talking bout C Section right? All the same. Sorry polygamy is not allowed in my society

yep exactly.

5stardude:
putting up with ladies issues, nosy, inquisitive and so many more

If the lady you are are dating right now is nosy, inquisitive and nagging,then she will double in measure when you marry.
People dont change at all.They become worse or their true selves pop up.
That is why its called marriage. Otherwise it looses its worth and meaning.
Its for people who are willing and ready to account for each other.People who are able to tame their desires by loving their spouses more.
The reason its not just a fairy tale but hardwork to keep the flames burning and taming the wild desires.
If you are nt ready to be accountable and responsible, then you are not ready to marry so wait.

Ok lemmie just tell you this.You can have a very adventourous wife that wl make you wanna come home at 6 pm every day.
And even if shes had child am sure there are several ways to sexually keep the fire burning.
C'mon check out some of this blazing marriages.Full of fun and life.Get your eyes off the pathetic ones cz you aint helping urself by doing that.

Ever heard of kegel exercises? Google. I read a thread funny thread here about a hubby complaining that the wife is too tight and she has kids?
I think she did a lot of kegel.

Nway If you still cant take that there's CS.I think a good  no.of women who fear natural childbirth and those with hubbys harbouring unfounded fears like yours opt for that. Whether baby comes out thru nose or mouth its still baby.

If you cant keep your vows then become polygamous.Its still acceptable in some societies.
Other option is, shorten your lifespan by becoming promiscous.

If you do not fancy all that then remain a bachelor.Its not a must and your correct.

lastly marriage is more than sex.

Czar al be sincere with you.I dont think the gal means exactly that! No I don't.
I prefer calling it an ice breaker and everybody has there own.Some will ask 'how's the weather, 'what's the news' today just anything to start off a conversation.These are the things that cause communication breakdowns cz men don't get what the lady is trying to communicate.
In this instance she's thinking of the next line as you digest the 'have you eaten one' I can assure she doesnt give a damn if u have or not.
Her next few lines are what you should pay attention to.
If shes not a dumb gal,consider it an icebreaker and ignore it instead of taking offence.

Nayah:
Pendo!! habari oh

Nzuri Nayah.Ope ur good.

If I were u gal I would have taken time to settle into the new neighbourhood and get to know real people first b4 I start searching for friends online.
Mind elaborating the kind of fun cz that word ends up confusing the masses.

Al be real with you like I would with my own lil sis.You are past teenage stage and growing into a young woman.Your mind set needs to change now so that you start thinking more about building your career and future.You don't want to waste your early twenties partying then show up in your mid to late 30's searching for a husband to start family. Years fly when you are busy so get busy doing what is right.
Have sober friends around you,and do not give in to peer pressure.
Fun is cool but let it be clean fun if u understand what I mean.

Nayah:
pretty juile my dear, dry your tears maybe this guy was not the "right one" you're still young and fresh, so take your time forgetting this painful experience then you'll be able to meet someone else who will loves your kindness, patience and sweetness

I know it's hard but God is everything and will help you to figure this out  

Smilenw:
Stop calling (begging)him and exhibiting your love for him all the time.Maybe he likes to have some space. Show him that you have a life of your own. Maybe you are giving away too much of yourself.  When he notices that you are not so much into him he might come around if he really loves you. If he doesn't and is pleased to be left alone, then consider the guy has had his fill. Either way, I think you should try to balance your life rather than making your BF the centre of your existence. Only a woman who respects herself will be respected.  

I can only add this to the above. When somebody hurts you, cry a river,build a bridge and get over it.
first cut is the deepest. Now take care of urself and dont act desperate.

Every prostitute has a 'sad story' to tell. If only all of them were true.You are amazed cz u heard her the first time but she tells this to all the guys.
lets say its true. They chose prostititution as remedy. But what do the rest of the gals who go through similar or worse do ?
They learn from mistakes and make wise choices.
its all about choices.

I would 'hesitate' to enter into one if the locations were Alaska and Joberg.
Also depends on several factors including ability/willingness to relocate if you intend to make it permanent.Lots to consider there as well.
Anything short of that is a waste of emotions and time.
Good to be realistic even when dating

Long One:
Yes, because we all live and learn, and gain experience in the process. Experience is also said to be the best teacher.

As you rightly said, some people purposely seek out partners with familiar attributes, which might signify a favourable experience, which they want to relive.

For others however, the experience is far from favourable, and the person’s worst traits are amplified in their mind. This discourages them from associating with people who have similar traits.

As they say ‘you can heal the wound, but not the scar’, the scar serves as a reminder of what happened – not too many people want to experience it again, rather, they prefer ‘something new’ or ‘a breath of fresh air’ (like Jonathan, lol).

AMEN TO THAT.