₦airaland Forum

toba:
That's the point. Cant one get tired of a habit through persuasion?

No no one can make you change. It must come from within you otherwise it will be temporary to get things done before the habit kicks in again.
You cannot start moulding a grownup cz they are hardened already. A child is a clay.A grownup is not.

ebonyvibe:
People dont change character if there is something you dont like about your partner now when you marry it is only going to get magnifed.

a goat dressed in expensive attire is still a goat oooo

I like that.

mamacy:
this is serious then, why dont u speak to her about it in the presence of your fiancee since your fiancee is also aware, the earlier you tell her your mind, the better for u, cos i forsee somethng happening between u guys later which u may later regret, also, if u ve been doing favors for her before, i think u shud stop it for a while till she changes her behaviour,

SIlknSteel:
Except U are not ready to tackle the problem headstrong only wanting to wince like a cry baby on NL, d solutions stares U ryt in d face. How? Listen to Urself,your fiancee behaved less concerned when U told her abt it n now as U said above,for all U care it may a scheme to test your faithfulness so addressing her before your fiancee will earn d point U need n put it ryt in deir faces if it actually ws a scheme between them. Except may be U are actually enjoying her teasings n d risk involved.
Abeg enuf said already, do what U must.
**SilknSteel**

This is from the mind of women op.And I fully agree with the above. 100%

Running away is not solution unless you purpose never to allow her into your house of attend family gatherings.
Meeting her alone to give her your piece of mind will be a trap that you will find hard to free yourself from.You have never seen the devices of a desperate gal.
Confront the issue as a block.Both you and Fiancee if she's mature enough and put her in place
Then learn to avoid her like plague.

WhyAWhy:
You have answered my question     

Good. Add strictly confidential to that.

M M M:
op
your wife should be happy & grateful 2 GOD dat u married her.

For crying out loud husband re rare, so she should hold u tight.

She is even old enough 2 be your sugar mum & what where u thinking when u married her

OP
This is by far the longest post by MMM.And for him not to have mentioned the very thing he really loves then it means you have a very serious problem at hand.
MMM thumbs up.

Op very sad situation.For heavens sake you are the Husband regardless of age.Take your position or forget about that marriage altogether.
What is this sleeping on the floor thing? you both sleep on floor while the sister sleeps in your room?? on your bedmadness of the highest order.
Let me tell you,A matrimonial bedroom and bed is meant 4 u and you alone.Not even your parents! Any sober relative would not even spend a night in your room!
If you have talked and shes nt willing to change and allow you your rightful place as hubby then she can manage alone.
Thats just too much headache to live with on daily basis.
Peace of mind is what matters. May God help you.
7 yrs is still a big gap but love

lol @ malamu
yeah unaweza.
nikupeleke safari masai mara tumalizie serengeti.
Now wl get banned if we continue with swa.(forum rules)
cheers.back to topic

usijali,sipendi watu wakianza kuwa personal sana.
Nikiona mtu anakaribia sana nahepa. ndio maana nahepa ile thread yako kwa muda.Moto ukishatulia nitarudi.
Sitaki iwe kama mahali pa kupatana.Siunaelewa?

Am nayah

^^
love and friendship is ok.
Do u realise that its possible to marry somebody you love but who is not even a friend?
And you wonder why couples go sharing their private issues with 'friends'
Love is crucial but love without friendship is like a padlock without key.

^
hey whyAwhy _{what a name lol}
whom are you doing research for?
This question doesnt bother me at all.But beyond that is private and confidential.
we are now.

I really hate the word 'rational' esp when its coming from you.
Delete mutual compatibility then and leave love to me. Happy now?
I believe in LOVE.

Op, People should marry a friend first.I don't even know whey the rush to marry.
People are marrying for all the wrong reasons and its no wonder they don't last.

Well who cares.Any award?
I have had 1. fullstop.
Next?

claremont:
@OP: We all know that the responsibility is due to the paranoid and hallucinogenic ideology known as "love". That word alone has led many souls astray, and it is deemed to be the chief culprit responsible for the break-down of many marriages. If we had continued the traditions of our ancestors, who got married on the basis of mutual compatibility, we will not be in this monumental shite we are in today!

Goodnite. I know who will take over from here and its gonna be a looooong thread.

I believe in love ,mutual compatibility and all the other abilities out there.

^ Am really sorry.I forgot you were around.
Am out

Its been quiet and calm apart from a few explosions here and there plus teargas canisters thrown in by mods to quell the escalating violence in various threads.
now you two watch out.security has been beefed up.

yes its long since I heard the words; exist, logic,hypothesis,analyis,proven facts,research,'does not exist'

sexkillz missed you.

GB102:
i dont know which other way to simplify dis, can u help?

you are more irritating. Why couldnt you write in normal english like in your previous posts?
I swear even the interpretation doesn't make things easier. confusing for me.
Ope you find help really.
cheers.

^^ my point is,please simplify your post for us to understand.
simple basic english is ok. what you have up there makes no sense

GB102:
@roland, u r only trying to excalate [/b]problems here, @claremont, whats too difficult in dis, is not like i am an egg head,

Dude stop cracking me up

Roland I though the guy is from a place called AGEGE
Is Agege in France? where's my sis Nayah?

[b]OP Read your previous op below and stop making fun of us

i just notice dat my girl has been behaving funny lately, and she travels to port almost everytime for little or no reason, at first she said she was going to visit her aunt but i later found out she got no aunt in ph, after careful examination i found out that she actually goes der cos of a man who she said loves her like a daughter , d man bought laptop for her and he drives murano jeep and also works in i oil firm,  after asking her d seriouslness of the relationship ,if it is really a daugther and dad relationship, she ignored, d more i asked d more she changed d topic, not until one day she was telling me a story mistakingly said d truth, d man actually bangs her and gives her lots of money to buy anything she likes, "sometimes i wonder d kind of girl she is, just let her tell stories she will open up alot of her secrets"
now i dont know what to do, NL please help me

GB102:
I have dis gurl, what is about to[b] caused[/b] our fall out is because  she is rapacious [/b]in nature and demanding skills is [b]unabating even though she knows it exacerbated our relationship. In retrospect she never loved anyone including me , she always had a way to[b] incliminate[/b] peeple. it was completely inevitable to avoid her demands, she will always deter any of her lover including me (sometimes i wonder if it is only me)   . she blithe the concequences [/b]of her action knowing that the act is just a [b]transient or maybe she doesnt know (only God can say)

NL please i seriously need your help, what action should i take?

Mr op.yesterday the gal was riding in a rich man''s jeep to and from some oil station.
Today your english is in its own clas.  
The action you should first take is to repost in a language we can understand.
waaa!!

Is that a goverment cop or a rebel leader?
Why are his nails and eyes yellow and why is his vest torn?
Gosh I would collapse on meeting such a dude face to face.
[s]_{looks as though he can eat you alive}[/s]

^^^^jamani Nayah hii ni french kweli?

Good Girl:
^^^^
Am fine Nayah!

I speak fluent Swahili; I could teach you if you would be interested. . .

Nayah:
Ndio ! Ninazungumza Kiswahili kidogo tu!
Ninaitwa Nayah. Nimefurahi kukujua.

I've got some Tz blood so I know a bit Swahili which is a wonderful language

wow nimepata marafiki hapa.
Good gal umetoka nchi gani? Mi natoka kenya.
Nayah ni mkosa kabila  anaongea lugha zote za dunia.lol

Oh Boy,
please I am trying not to be judgmental here BUT.gosh you r talking marriage after less than 2 moths of meeting her?
Wait till all skeletons are brought out of the closet bro.She may pass the fertility test but can her womb carry baby to full term?
They get weakened by abortions you know and many keep having miscarriages.
Give yourself time bro and see how the relationship goes.She doesnt care telling you her secrets which is a good thing but gals lol.She could care less wht you think.

theres searching and finding.
The bible says whoever 'finds' not whoever 'searches'
Finding is like looking for pin in a stack of hay or mining for gold in kalahari
Searching is like visiting a municipal council and begging them to retrieve an old document. you pay a search fee.
[s]
_{I know i dont make much sense so ignore.} [/s]

[quote author=d_surrogat link=topic=741740.msg8979788#msg8979788 date=1314015077]my life will never be the same again becasue i just meet this girl she is 23 yrs and very preety from IMO state
1.She dosent complain if she sees me with other girls
2.She dosent comaplain if she seems me watching mojo
3.She dosent compalin if my room is dirty, she just cleans it up
4.She dosent complain is i dont make love to her or if i do
5.She dosent complain if i stay late nights
6.She dosent complain is she seed nasty sms on my phone, she quietly deletes them AND INFORMS ME
, she only complains if i dont tell her "good morning" cos she told me that SHE CAN DO ANYTHING FOR A MAN WHO RESPECTS HER and that HE LIKES MINDING HER BUSINESS, she told me that IF I AM BEING NAUGHTY THAT ONE DAY MY COMMOM SENCE WILL CHANGE ME BUT THAT THE REASON WHY SHE LOVES ME IS BEST KNOWN TO HER ALONE,
with the way she is going with me I THINK I WILL STAY FAITHFUL TO HER, she embarrass me with her character, she even called one of her girl friends to follow e to the market because she needed to rush home to see her mum, SHE IS SO SECURED AND NO PARANOIA,[/quote]Therein lies my worry.That word Just.
Continue with your weird habits then come back after a year or two and tell us how far.
Consider her age as well and ask yourself what chance you stand if she happened to meet great dude that does exactly the opposite of wht you are doing and treats her like a queen as well.
In the meantime be nice.

Goldieluks:
I totally disagree with you,because not everyone sleeps around,my dear.Loving the one you are married to is not a new thing at all.
Most people do not get married to the people they love,due to some unseen circumstances,maybe for example,your inlove
with a guy,whom you wanted to get married to,and you later find out that your genotype doesn't match,maybe
you are both AS,you simply would let go,even if your crazily inlove with the person.There are loads of reasons why people end
loving the one they are married to,instead of maybe getting married to the one they love.

okay I agree with you there cz  you just reminded me  of planned marriages like what happens among the hindu.

That genotype is another complex thing all together. You will leave the person but the pain will be too much.some decide to stick.This word love,makes people do the impossible

My conclusion is do both.love the one you marry and marry the one you love. cant say better.

Responsibility lies on the woman.You can carry yourself in a way that makes you qualified to be called a granny let alone mother.

You must balance properly and give both baby and hubby attention otherwise the scale will determine what you fit to be called.

Time for baby is time for baby but create time for that man.Before the baby was both of you were so?

No wonder men go missing from home when women give birth cz all attention is on baby.

Be a mother when it calls for, a sexy wife when it calls for,an Aunt etc etc.

A woman is so many things, you just need to know what role to play when need calls.

Goldieluks:
Most times people end up[b] not marrying the one they love[/b],so it wouldn't be a bad choice to love the one you marry.

And that is the root of Adultery. Because you will keep loving the one you did not marry and hating the one you call wife
Best thing is, if you end up marrying the one you dint love then try and love her.Deal with what you have cz it was your fault.