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Romance › Re: Irony Of Persuading A Woman by pendo89(f): 11:56am On Aug 22, 2011

Long One:
^^^pendo89

So how long do you hang around for? After she treats you like dirt and your self-esteem is completely shattered, all in the name of ‘being patient’? When do you draw the line and say enough is enough? This is the part I am interested in.

Okay I dont subscribe to that.That is evil and I dont expect anybody to treat one like that.Patience does not have to include mistreatment.I can never stand a partner who mistreats me.No never.I will walk out immediately. Patience means you are dating but no commitment yet.You are just friends. That is the time you spend checking if you are compatible and finally decide if the relationship is worth writing home about. Time? it will depend on how open and honest you are to each other.
The more closed you are the longer it takes.If you are yourself then you make things easy for the other and it takes less time before you get her into the box.
But most dudes lack that. You meet a gal you tell her I love you and you want her to reciprocate immediatley. undecided

1 Like

Romance › Re: She Kept Comparing Me With Her Ex-boyfriend by pendo89(f): 11:35am On Aug 22, 2011

27naira:
I actually stretched out my hands to give you a bear hug but your profile pix looks kinda scary (you're indeed fearfully made)

yeah that is pendo [s]_{resembling a grissly bear}[/s] with a great smile. grin

Dating And Meet-up Zone › Re: I Need Someone To Keep My Company by pendo89(f): 9:50am On Aug 22, 2011

Romance › Re: Pamper Me As Before by pendo89(f): 9:47am On Aug 22, 2011

Jambo Nayah,Habari ya asubuhi?

This is deep stuff.need to think grin

BRB.

Romance › Re: Irony Of Persuading A Woman by pendo89(f): 9:38am On Aug 22, 2011

Brightmind:
@pendo89, I get it, guys and their deception is responsible. So what happens to d good ones – a woman’s love is so damn hard to win today. Thanks for your views sha.

That is what deception does.You deceive a lady today,she loses confidence and trust in you guys.Especially if it was her first love.
She just shuts down and suspects every dude coming along as a deceiver.You know why? cz all you are gonna tell her? she has been told before.
One dude messed her up and made things difficult for the other dude.
But the lady is better safe than sorry. I must admmit I dont give in easily. I don't mind if you leave.If you want a treasure you will hang around and be patient cz I need time to prove that you are not like the 'other' and that doesn't show in a fortnight you know.
A good woman is rare yeah but she met a bad dude who made her treat others with caution. Don't give up if you have your eyes set on the prize.
All she needs is time to study you.Act more and talk less.Her heart will start warming up.

Romance › Re: Would You Marry The One You Love Or Love The One You Marry? by pendo89(f): 9:22am On Aug 22, 2011

stepo707:
@ pendo89
Are you saying that they mean the same thing?

I would definitely marry someone i love but more importantly i would love the one i marry.

What am saying basically is,you[b] must love enough to marry.[/b] So what changes thereafter? you keep the flame of the same love [/b]burning in marriage.
[b]what is the difference btwn the love u had for me b4 marriage and the love you now have for me after marriage?
Either way there was love on both ends. The intensity may vary but the love is the same.
Lets just say one led to the other and without one the other would not exist.

Tosinville:
Even in Nigeria, some girls take the risk of marrying wealthy men not because of the affection in it but for the material things he has,

We are talking about love here.The bolded is not my defination of love. so it doesnt apply here.
Since love didnt bring you together then love wont keep the marriage.If money was the reason for marriage then you will need the money to sustain the marriage.
What brings you together is what will keep you together.

Money+relationship>> marriage + money
Love+relationship>>>marriage+ love

Which of the 2 above do u think will last? One is tangible while the other is not.One can disappear in a flash while the other takes time to die but can be revived.

Romance › Re: Which Is Essential Btwn D Body And Soul? by pendo89(f): 9:01am On Aug 22, 2011

Teachings Mynd
Bible talks about Body Soul and Spirit and the role of each.
Its that simple.

Look at it this way.The soul desires and the body brings the desire into effect.Its the body that suffers physically.Your soul gets depressed/oppressed or quenched.
The spirit helps you control the desires which are engraved in the soul.
What is important now is the kind of spirit you posess.Is it of God or the other fellow.
That's why I say we are 3 in one. All important but each plays its role the way body organs do.

Romance › Re: Would You Marry The One You Love Or Love The One You Marry? by pendo89(f): 8:35am On Aug 22, 2011

stepo707:
I was going through this manual and i saw this question
Would you Marry the ONE you Love or Love the ONE you Marry?
They mean different things.
So which would you prefer and why?

Ask yourself this, would you marry somebody you are not in love with? if the answer is no then you will realise that this is just a reverse question in disguise.
It automatically answers itself. The meaning is the same.

let me simplify.

I love you >> I marry you
I marry you>> I love you.

Romance › Re: She Kept Comparing Me With Her Ex-boyfriend by pendo89(f): 8:13am On Aug 22, 2011

[quote author=Mynd_44 link=topic=740307.msg8976766#msg8976766 date=1313973182]^^^
It seema a lot of people come to you with their issues but you need to realise that no two situations are the same you should learn to treat every individaul's issues Individually and not generally. Look at the case of the guy who had erectile dysfunction who is to blame the guy or the girl? I know a case like that where the guy claimed that he was acting on faith and that he could not say anything negative which was why he kept it secret[/quote]And then what happened? you left this hanging.whos to blame? the one that kept it a secret and used religion as cover or the girl who went ahead and married him.
I just want people to be honest cz if I truly love you I will stand with you through thick and thin and try to iron out issues.
That's why I say love is death.These are critical issues which you can only handle if you have died to self and love the person as yourself.
Love is sacrifice not icecream

Jokes Etc › Re: You Should All Jealous Me by pendo89(f): 7:57am On Aug 22, 2011

sexsinners:
well after my gfs father beat me up, my gf felt so sad for me that she went back for me.Now were together again.

and[b] i think u u all should jealos me,because i am happy and most of you have relationship problems.
[/b]

also i want to say to allllll the ppl who diss me in my last thread.

well in your face.

the[b] key into a good relation is to be desperate oh yeah and god too
[/b]
may sound crazy but it works

Sex sinners,what is troubling you? Am not concerned about the beatings but your posts.

They are just in a class of their own undecided

But all will be well.

Romance › Re: Which Is Essential Btwn D Body And Soul? by pendo89(f): 1:29am On Aug 22, 2011

yes babe humans are tripartite just like the Holy trinity

Romance › Re: Irony Of Persuading A Woman by pendo89(f): 1:25am On Aug 22, 2011

Brightmind:
Why is it harder to convince a woman you truly love that you love her, than to deceive one you dont really love?

This thread makes sense to me.

I find it hard to be convinced.I feel sorry for some men who tell me they love me cz my 'doubt' button is always activated. [s]_{Maybe if they turn into some angel}[/s] grin

This is what op. most men just talk and talk and talk. Women want action cz they speak louder than words.
Since men are used to deceiving,women became clever and now even the good ones that u truly love find it hard to believe you because they were deceived by a guy.
Its a cycle actually.What goes round comes around.

Romance › Re: She Kept Comparing Me With Her Ex-boyfriend by pendo89(f): 1:02am On Aug 22, 2011

[quote author=Mynd_44 link=topic=740307.msg8976578#msg8976578 date=1313970436]^^^
The problem with you guys is that you think just cos something works for you or some other group it will work in every case. People are different both emotionally and physically. I don't supprot pre-marital sex but if anyone feels he/she needs to be sure about what they are getiing into then fine.[/quote]the bolded is incorrect.it wont work in every case and that is not what am implying here.
we are all different and everybody is accountable 4 their actions.
So far what I believe, works for me and no regrets whatsoever. Because I have no regrets I will tell the teen to uphold intergrity lest they come crying later for engaging in stuff they were not psychologically prepared for.
However I cannot impose that on any grownup.

Romance › Re: She Kept Comparing Me With Her Ex-boyfriend by pendo89(f): 12:37am On Aug 22, 2011

That was a by the way. I have been a youth leader(almost political grin

as well as in church) and I would never advise any teenager to exp.sex so as to learn.
That is lame and sinful.I preach what I practice cz I know how it is.
If knowing is perfection then people would not be having issues in their relationships.Infact its the experts who fail the most.
I tell pple 'do not start what you cannot finish'.Emotions r no jokes.Many people who fornicate esp first time will tell you they dint have sex in mind when they allowed that touch or kiss.It starts gradually.
Today hug,tomorrow kiss the next day,you want to explore more.Everytime you want to touch what you havent touched till you eventually go all the way.
Read and hear from those with experience and also be honest with each other.
cheers.

Romance › Re: She Kept Comparing Me With Her Ex-boyfriend by pendo89(f): 11:41pm On Aug 21, 2011

That sin and sin boldly!i read it as somebody's signature lol .must be ogaga!
I wont say that the Almighty changes, maybe He 'understands' sounds better.
This is when you give reasons why you have and must do what you are contemplating to do. grin

Come let us reason together. He said that. You know what twisting God's hand is? very tempting.

Look here its good to be spiritual but wise too. Theres nothing worse than a foolish believer
know stuff but stick to the principles,'this trying to know' is what pple call compromise'
i must know without compromising.

Romance › Re: The Kiss Myth? by pendo89(f): 11:18pm On Aug 21, 2011

bhusayor:
CHEI! Wetin I no go read on nl,

I swear am in tears laughing at this statemnt!

grin

.i think thts why i keep login to have a good laugh.

Romance › Re: She Kept Comparing Me With Her Ex-boyfriend by pendo89(f): 11:02pm On Aug 21, 2011

Yes God is to be feared.It His command anyway.
However these are not the days of ignorance where God used to wink.

But because people are nt honest even those we expect to what options are we left with?
We device our own clever means but avoid the 'sin' altogether grin

Devices like peeping.Perfect timing and peeping. There must be a way c'mmon.
Is touch bad? grin

I know its a spark that cld lead to flames but make sure you have buckets of water ready before you get engulfed in flames.
Buckle up touch and run very fast grin

_{I know i sound silly}

Romance › Re: She Kept Comparing Me With Her Ex-boyfriend by pendo89(f): 10:37pm On Aug 21, 2011

Be honest here.
If you knew you had some sexual dysfuntion and cannot perform, you would definately not want any lady to know for fear of rejection.
These things show up after you say I do. Then marriages don't get consummated.
The dude keeps mum using religion as cover,marries and then the truth comes out.That is called trap.
There may be medication but I dont know if its longlasting or effective.
Bottom line is,when you marry a virgin marry at your own risk. Even ladies suffer from vaginismus and fail to perform.
_{Maybe people should just not have sex at all.} grin

Whatever the case.I must peep.

Romance › Re: She Kept Comparing Me With Her Ex-boyfriend by pendo89(f): 10:10pm On Aug 21, 2011

I am bending a bit not breaking.Prevention is better than cure. grin

There's all sorts of crazy stuff.Whats worse? peeping or divorcing cz of scrotum nkt!
It's not even Joystick but scrotum.When dd one start doing the job of the other?

That story, Now how d u expect me to know that. I think people with ED don't erect at all?
I dont know really cz am not an expert and have never tried to really understand it and why it happens.
He never disclosed to his wife and kept saying his religious beliefs do not allow him to do sex befor marriage.
Then they go honeymoon and discover instead of honey its all whining. grin

These things I dont know.People should just be honest but if they are, they get rejected! now what!

Romance › Re: She Kept Comparing Me With Her Ex-boyfriend by pendo89(f): 9:45pm On Aug 21, 2011

yeah you got a point there.Its tricky cz the other day I heard a story on radio about a lady filing for divorce.
The husband has erectile dysfuntion.They went for honeymoon but were unable to consummate the marriage.
The guy had refused to give in to premarital sex till the wedding day. He said his trips to the doc's have been in vain and now even the wife has given up.A marriage is not complete till its been consummated.That is the law.
I advocate for virginity out my religious beliefs but see things like this scare the shit out of me.
People must be willing to talk out or at least see it work.Some just trap people.
It doesn't have to be on you but try and see it go up the normal way!If you cant do anything at least, peep if you have to when he's showering,or dressing anything!then you will know the dude is fine.
This word of mouth cannot be trusted. undecided

Romance › Re: jj by pendo89(f): 9:30pm On Aug 21, 2011

You too?

got relocated? what are these companies doing to dudes destabilising their relationships?
And you live with a dog? undecided

as company? dont worry.
See when you move you don't have to cut off a relationship ie if you had any.
Just carry it online and keep visiting if you live in the same country.
Suppose I drop you a number of a murderer here on nl or even some crazy gal?
What if you are crazier than the gal herself? see how scary it is? try making friends that you see first.
But I still wish you luck.

Romance › Re: She Kept Comparing Me With Her Ex-boyfriend by pendo89(f): 9:05pm On Aug 21, 2011

^^ I stand to be corrected but I think you are on a different frequency from Cuddle.
You understand her point the other way.By her asking that part you bolded she was referring to the numerous virginity thread posters who insist on keeping it sealed and failing to emphasise on compatibility or other crucial things that make a marriage last.
She was highlighting the dangers of keeping it sealed till the wedding night which is what the op's is facing now.
Read those parts I highlighted. Theres more to marriage than keeping it sealed is her key point.

You however understood the bolded to mean,that if she had kept it sealed then she would would not have had anybody to compare her husband to.Well she did not for her ex,but I think she saw the husband Unclad on the wedding night.
Unless I am also wrong that is my Understanding

Cuddlemii:

See why compatibility is important. She has an ex she knew & felt the size but knew & felt yours seven months after the marriage. During courtship didn't she accidentally walk into your room when you were nak-ed or gauged it with one eye since she is particular about that.

People should learn to marry who they are attracted to physically & sexually or who satisfies their urge. [/b]Where are all those why not stay a virgin or clamp crooners. I have said it repeatedly there is more to marriage than sex &[b] keeping it sealed. Look for happiness & peace of mind. Don't look for perfection. The values of marriage should be instilled & taught. All those sex criticism & judgmental discussions does not guaranty a successful marriage.

Anyways I blame it on the holier than thou society where people preach what they don't practice.

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