₦airaland Forum

gentlegenius:
Here's the question I ask you earlier, which you claimed you answer: If you discover that the girl you are dating is only dating you just because of your money, will you go ahead and marry her? YES or NO.

Now, to your own question, WHY she wanted me to work... The same reason why she was spending money on me - to make me happy and have more reasons to keep loving her.
Proof: When I turned down the job offer from her uncle's company, she was still very interested in me even though she knew I didn't have any job. As I am typing this now, she's gotten a job at the company's branch office in Awka while I still don't have a job, but she is still interested in me even though I am no longer interested in her. She was a good girl though, I only lost interest in her and turn down the job offer because I didn't want a situation where she'll think she made me who I am.
If there's any other question I didn't answer well, pls let me know.
Even though it is obvious that we both have different opinions as a result of different principles and beliefs, I am not writing all these because I want you to agree with me, I only reply you and share these experiences because I know other people reading our comments here can learn a few things from both of us.

Marry that same lady without a job and a few years down the road she will tell her collegues how irresponsible you are and watch that marriage crumble. Am not against a girl being interested in my financial state am more interested in what she plans to do about it. Neither am i against spending on a woman but interested if she will too ofcourse not even to thesame proportion. Why? Because its a given that she will be and that i must spend on her sooner or later.

I asked three questions. How many do you think you've answered.

kunleweb:
Just subliminal knowledge, I quit ICT for other stuffs brov.

I see . I checked your profile again
. Its like you are really into a lot. It's all good.....as long as you are making money right ..in Psquare voice. Surely we shall see but now am in a stationary state. I will definitely hala at your when am light. Until then we enjoy our candid submissions here and lol to synchronous genius mind.

kunleweb:
Trust me , you stay one place pass me

Lol. We shall see. Do you have idea about programming?

gentlegenius:
My brother... I am having that you asked me these 3 questions even though you didn't answer mine. I will give a very sincere answer to your questions but the problem is if you'll believe me.
Now here's the answer to your question... Actually there are not many rich ladies around that can accommodate and care for a guy without money. It is true that most rich ladies don't date guys without money. But there's a reason for this - Men had already set a standard for women by trying to use money to buy their love, so majority of our women desire by default to only sell their love to the highest bidder. Because we've become buyers of love, women by default has become sellers of love.
But there are a few exceptions to this. To be honest with you, I am one of the few guys who don't pay for love. I have dated 6 beautiful girls since I started dating, none of them was a goal digger. As a matter of fact, I never remember approaching any of them to ask or beg to be my girlfriend as most guys do. I will not bore you with details of how I dated each of them, but to answer your second and third questions, I will like to tell you about the lady that fell in love with me during our youth service... She was from a rich family and her uncle had a very big company in Lagos. As a youth corper, earning less than 20k monthly, and not from a rich family, I didn't actually want to have anything with her because I thought we were worlds apart. But surprisingly, she developed interest in me, but I refuse to make any move because it was obvious to me that other male corpers who were actually richer than me were openly chasing her. I simply retire into my shell but she wouldn't let me be. To cut the long story short, I finally dated her and she was always embarrassing me with gifts. Imagine a girl who bluntly refuse to date other rich guys but was freely spending her money on me to the extent that I had to reject some of her gifts as a way to caution her. As I am typing this now, I still have a costly shirt she bought for me that I rejected, I thought she returned it, but I didn't know that she was hiding it in her room. When I finish my service and had to travel, she secretly sneaked it into my bag. Ever since we finished service, she had discussed with her uncle to employ me in his company but I turned down the offer. It was at this point that I gradually distant myself from her.
So, I have dated a few other girls who never ask me for money. Such ladies still exist but there's a secret to attracting them. I have also dated one goal digger who likes asking guys for money. When I told her that I don't pay women for dating me, I thought she'll dump me, but she didn't. Even when I tried to dump her she'll always cry and beg me to stay. It was obvious that she found something else in me that mean much to her than money. It is a secret most guys don't know, that is why they believe in paying for love.

I wish you will stop misunderstanding me. I never said your case is non existent i also gave a few (ofcourse non-conclusive) instances where it occurs. I said they are the exceptions in comparism to the normal. I answered your question but am not sure you've answered mine.
Why do you think she wants you to work? Got the clue? You can work and earn ...Money. She is interested in your financial state now or in the future. SHE IS INTERESTED ..and the other who followed up with you after you won't pay for her may just have figured that if you don't spend on women then likely you can save and manage money properly which will be to her advantage if she gets you, sooner or later..... you seee..so......say with me "she is interested in my financial state". And like i tried to convey earlier, thats not necessarily always a bad thing ok. What matters is if her interest is to improve, maintain it or decline it. But are women interested and can a fatter account or non yours, now or later, influence her attraction? I can bet my left ball.

kunleweb:
Haba, takes a genius to know a genius. It's a rarity. I don't flock with minors, never had, never will

It's not easy to see someone who concurs with my kind of reasoning long enough so didn't think you would. Correct man there. We shall there. Some things no dey let me stay one place.

kunleweb:
I told you we need to hookup share some drink, do some real men connecting. Let's leave the proclivities of this virtual world and connect ( Those of us that reason alike, our generation depends on we, the real men )

You know then when you said that I wasn't yet sure you've seen enough of my perception on matters to decide if we really reason in alignment.

gentlegenius:
I agree with you that goal digging has come to stay. But do you know that there are lots of guys who don't even know that goal diggers exist? If we don't discuss this kind of issues in public forums like this, these naive guys will never be able to learn. Women are experts at pretence and you say we should leave them alone and make money, but if we don't study women how will we know what they are and be able to choose the right one from the crowd that will flock around us when we get money? A wise man once said that the best time to select a life partner is when you are not yet rich. Another wise man said "If you pursue money and women, success will elude you, but if you purse success and achieve it, money and women will follow you".
Right now I am able to shape my life around these two wise sayings... I don't pursue women and money, I simply pursue success. But this doesn't mean I shouldn't learn about women and money. These two things has the powers to make or destroy a man, so only the most foolish of men will refuse to study them. Also, now that I don't have much money, I have already chosen the girl I'll marry, and when I get money, I will not show off to attract goal diggers. The reason most girls follow guys with money is because those guys show off their money. But our girls should learn that most of the guys who are actually rich don't show off their affluence, while most of the guys who show off are not actually rich.
I will advise my fellow men who got money not to show off, especially when you are around women. Pretend like you are not rich, and all those goal diggers will stay away from you. I know this is quite difficult for majority of guys to do but if women can pretend to love us because of our money, why can't we also pretend like we don't have money in order to know the right girls that genuinely love us?

Thats why i said we rush both. Better understanding and summary. Why nairaland no get clap emoji.
Never think or believe a woman is not interested in your financial status even if she tells you so cos women rich or poor are very much interested in and must chop our money whether we like it or not (that's how God made it- the stronger pledging love and care for the weaker and gets God favour too as written in the good book. Isn't that beautiful? That one of the wonders of life) the last paragraph of your post only helps the man pick one with a mindset to tolerate him in bad times complement him even if its little as well.

kunleweb:
Na you won't understand. You also do understand. Stop playing coy, i've noticed your I.Q. and intellct you're smart, stop playing small brov You know what's up.

Thanks. You know things.

babyfaceafrica:
that is the world we live in....ladies are finding people they can depend on economically first,who can take care of her and offspring before any other thing.Even if you are a one minute guy rich man...a lady will rather choose you than choose a stallion with no money... sometimes even the sound of alert give some gals orgasm..what a stallion cannot achieve in two hours

Realist speaking....speak on. The guy and those concurring to him are projecting the way guys reasons (loving, caring and marrying for broke ladies not minding) to ladies not knowing that the average Nigerian woman is playing by a different opposite set of rules. Of course their are exceptions and even most of the exceptions get why . If white ladies are in the picture then I can try to understand but this ones who in their prime are so stingy and so socially conditioned that they consider sending a guy recharge card a taboo and whose total financial contribution to a guys life in a year is in lower side of triple digits.

To answer his question:
Women are as interested in your financial state as your attributes even more likely some of your wrong attributes can be tolerated and bearable to them if you are rich enough especially if the financial gap between you and them is wide.

Since he likes asking questions I have a few for him.
In reality
1) How many rich ladies are housing those broke nice guy in his area?
2) How many rich ladies of normal age go into relationship where she buys recharge card for the broke nice guy?
3) What % of ladies see the nice broke guys attributes enough to remain with him vs those who don't see the nice attributes of a richer guy who comes along to leave?

babyfaceafrica:
the guys is not realistic...even Linda baby daddy is very rich.....even rich ladies won't get close to poor men...as rich as Linda is..she still went after a rich married man.......you said it all..a fine man with six packs with no money is setting himself up if he Goes into a relationship penniless.....

The guy is too naive and living in lala land when it comes to women matters. Ordinary recharge card, a lady earning 500k will not send unless she is fast becoming yesterday newspaper or the guy is so handsome and has fuckt her senseless or she is a teenager. More likely, If the guy is coming in as a lover or was even a rich lover to her before and she figures she will be the one to send recharge even if the guy is about to be drained a saint, forget it.

Most of the unmarried ladies are so not because men with good attributes are not abundant, ranging from the road side mechanic, keke driver and gate man) but because those guys even with so those " good qualities" are not in their desired financial class.

kunleweb:
A man only needs a good game to win a woman, all your comments are spot on. At the moment, i've got a manager in a firm on my matter , not just her, oh by the way she's damn hot and modelled for a telecom company, i have six around me at the moment, and guess what i didn't need to flash a coin. I just bring my attitude and game on and that's it. So, values, principles, morals, ethics, work ethics, diction, grammar, look, beliefs, I.Q. , intelligence, future, persona, charisma, upkeep, maintenance, carriage is all that's need to win any woman, add money to it adn you'll have an explosion .

You think say the average keke driver or una gate man no get a number of those attributes? If you were the gate man, those same women likely will not notice even if you are saint habakuk or even if they do notice, you will be nothing but a nice gate man only worthy of his position. Because you ain't broke, they can notice and appreciate your other qualities.

gentlegenius:
You are right... I was stupid and ignorant while you guys are the wise ones. But honestly speaking, all the 'wise comments' you guys are making here had exposed something important to me. I have known a few 'wise' guys like you in real life. One is my very close relative. This man never learned anything about women including how to approach a woman. He spent all his youthful years pursuing money because he believed money can bring different kinds of women to him without him making any effort to get them. Of course he achieved his aim, and women were flocking around him, but 99% of them were serious goal diggers. He didn't realize his mistake until he chose one of them to marry. This man was working with an oil company in Rivers State. Sometimes, he goes to work offshore and return back after two weeks. He provided everything necessary to make his wife live happily and comfortable. But The wife suddenly realize that money and wealth is not the only thing a woman want from a man. She learnt this when it was too late for her to change her husband's working schedule.
The husband who thought money was everything to women also learn the hard way when his wife started sleeping around with men, including even their driver and houseboy. When it becomes unbearable, the man returned the wife to her parents and took care of two young children all alone, even though he wasn't sure if they were actually his children. This man lives a shattered and unhappy life thereafter despite all his money.
I also remember a man I worked in the same company with during my IT. The company later fold up due to poor management by the Russian owners. This man lost his job and a few months later, his wife left him to marry another man who had money. This guy later suffered from stroke, died and was buried last year.
Now the bottom line is this... IF MONEY IS THE ONLY THING YOU HAD TO OFFER, THEN YOU MUST PRAY THAT YOU DON'T RUN OUT OF IT, AND PRAY ALSO THAT YOUR WOMAN DOESN'T FIND A MAN THAT HAS MORE MONEY THAN YOU OR HAVE MORE TO OFFER HER THAN JUST MONEY.
Don't be deceived by all these goal diggers who came here to claim that money is all they want from men.
If you still insist that I am stupid and ignorant to share these experiences, then my prayer is that you make money and marry one of these goal diggers who got attracted to your money, so that you'll learn the hard way that money is not the only thing women want from men.

No matter how you want to spin it, if you underestimate or downplay the place of money in a relationship you are setting yourself up. The emphasis of the post is not money ALONE because normally a man does not offer money alone and when a rich guy goes woeing he does not go with money "alone" he also beams of other desirable atributes. Its easier to a woman to see faults in a poor guy and see attractive features in a rich. More ladies do hence more incidence of women moving from broke to rich guys than the opposite.

Women have been conditioned to see men mainly and primary as providers so they see those who can provide more as more manly with all tthe good attributes until proven otherwise. Again, even rich babes will deem you an unworthy niusiance if they have to send you airtime card now and then even with your saintly attributes . Exceptions are not the rules. To think in reverse of the realities is to be naive, delusional or ignorant.

jesmond3945:
Op stop watching a lot of telemundo it would do you no good. Women don't care about men. If not for money and sexual satisfaction most women wouldn't care. So welcome to the real world.

One will be tempted to believe he was high on stupid or ignorance when he wrote the post but actually you must have understood him better, the guy is high on Telemundo and African magic where the rich guy is always bad and the poor guy always nice.

lefulefu:
money make nigerian women wet?.. MariaLavina and oyindidi is dis true?

They know say no be lie I talk. It formats some brain too. And most experience........BOTH sef...... Lol. If not for God ehh wetin me and married women for done do ehhhn. The simplest instruction women don't argue with is "send me your account number"

kunleweb:
Smh Money makes the average Nigerian woman even the married ones, wet

E reach to lol for if not thats its not a fine thing like that. That was just capturing reality.

gentlegenius:
Good question... @babyfaceafrica, princfred, abeg make una answer this question: If money is all you have to offer, and the girl you want is from a rich family or she already has money, then how do you attract her?

Isn't it obvious that men who have nothing to offer except money will only attract goal diggers?

If the guy with money no attract her na the broke go Abi? The reality is that most girls that have money see broke guys as either stupid, lazy or gold diggers when they come for her and are looking forward to marrying someone richer or at least of same class. The few opposite cases, in comparism, are mere exceptions. With money the girl will dig out reasons by herself to be attracted to the guy even if he is the devils vice or threat like rag she will call it BDSM. Worst still, like most married women she can marry the broke guy, if the rich guy is that terrible, while the rich guy always gets to lash her whenever. The occurrence/incidence of ladies with broke guys being lashed by rich guys or completly leaving the broke guy for the rich is far more rampant than the other way.

It takes one who has stupidity as superpower to not know that many more women leave their broke husband. Money gives women more reasons to see more other reasons to be attracted to a guy. Money makes the average Nigerian woman even the married ones, wet. A very high % of married women back outside to rich men while confessing love to their broke husband. What kind of love is that that the broke guy is enjoying?

gentlegenius:
There are two things that gives us happiness in life... Our relationships and our achievements. Though money can come through our achievements, but according to philosophers and psychologist, money is not even mentioned as one of those things that brings us happiness and satisfaction. This is because money hardly satisfy anybody... The more you make it, the more you want it, and the more you worry over it. Also, money is a visitor... It can come to you today and leave you tomorrow. The only thing that brings us real happiness remains our relationships, and our achievements.
So how dare you tell me to forget about women and pursue money?
There are men who followed this your advice, but after making money, they married the wrong women, live a life of regret and die before their time.

We pursue BOTH.

tenmariner:
Largely, girls are bad at that and even some guys too.. It as a result of some factors top of which is the overly attention they get from guys daily. A greeting should at least be responded with a greeting then if the guy failed to introduce himself after dat u can ask to know who he is. I blame guys generally though. They can't do without talking to a lady, meeting with a lady, chatting..weneva dey sit with a lady in d bus, they feel a convo must strike. A lady on their street looks at them and d next tin on their mind is; eh be like say that babe like me..make I run track am..make I collect her nomba...

Lol.

gypsey:
were are the #Metoo warriors? They will not see this.

They are somewhere sipping garri for now.

anigold:
the Nigerian girl I know will never make a move instead she will attend Shiloh every year for 10years...she rather die than make a move.

Due to misguided, deeply entrenched ego and ignorance. When they become oloshos then they start doing the needful- lobbying men even openly. What an irony.

Shortyy:
The question is, How'd you know a shy guy? Truth is, women are proud, but men are too proud. They're egoistic.

Once you ask a guy out, they'd see you as cheap and loose. And the first thing they'd do is try to bed you, cause they'll think it's what you want after all.

Man, men and their wahala sha, make them go one corner first. that's not my problem right now.

Enjoy my signature.

A simple " I want to tell you something later" from you may jolt a mans brain and create the needed communication link. A girl once used that line on me after displaying all the without a positive response. I never considered her value reduced for that rather I saw it as a sign of maturity and real quest to help me come for her afterwards. And yes it almost worked if not for other parameters but do I respect her for her style and creativity in coming up with that? Yes.
It's not like you have to kneel and raise your hands for the guy. Just be more creative and direct

Other men coming into her life should take note and restrict her usefulness to za oza room and not involve the kitchen. If I be the guy I will I will give thanks giving the next Sunday. Fuckmate material everywhere.

In marriage finally everything will matter. I can't marry a Jehova witness, cherubim and seraphim member or Muslim even a Catholic member na manage. Good thing I always tell them upfront.

Op, how much money do you contribute to his life per year? Have you been the one feeding him? So what gives you the right to even shave his balls talk more of cutting it off? Why should men still look forward to marrying these ladies with dark minds who are more inclined to dwell more on scenarios that they can use justify and execute their latent barbaric mindset instead of dwell on how much she will contribute to him?

When she sends you money.
Has tears in her eyes for you.
Unconsciously sings when you are alone with her.
Shows public reverence especially when her friends or yours are around.
Always willing to communicate .
What prefix or alias she saved your number on her phone with.
If she makes that second to last back glance at you after saying goodbye.
If her eyes are closed during a kiss or wide open.
Sub conscious mirroring and positive extrapolation, bias and vibes.
If she wants to visit you or wants you to be with her.
When she is big enough to be apolegetic and shy to be contentious or recalcitrant to you when things go wrong.
If she remembers you in her prayers.
Lastly, hips don't lie

victorian:
If my husband cheats on me, I won't kill him, neither will I break his head. I will ask him what's the problem? If the reason are not cogent enough and if I feel I can't stick with him? I will move on.
If it's something I can overlook, I will stay. It depends on his response.

Very right. Most women dont know how to satisfy a man as they selfishly believe that only the man sould satisfy them. Just spreading laps is not enough. How many ladies took out time to study how to do that since the subject is not taught in school? Most times the man won't want to embarrass her by telling her so prefer and can resist settling himself outside.
Imagine many women don't know how important it is to give enough erotic stimulation before hand, during the act, to tighten their pu*sy and give their man a strong pussy grip, vintage positioning, synchronous thrusts and grinding with enough friction for him to cum fully. Only to complain
Why do you think men cheat if not in search of the above? As long as you don't get your man to cum till his balls (even if na one remain) completely empty and his dick completely goes flaccid till the next meeting point, his is prone
. Don't leave your man half-satisfied, hungry and prone!

My man your solution is come now that am here hopefully. You can PM. By the grace of God, i will give you great hope put you on the route to making money even in your bad state as long as you ate not blind and have a good IQ and mind with which to take care of yourself sooner or later if you believe and follow my lead It's like your affliction was made to pave you a way to glory. Smile man for Jesus truly loves you. Good you kept yourself alive till now. Bravo �

Is it not better for those who can't offer him a solution or heartfelt sympathy to just STFU?

pocohantas:
I get you, but we were not intimate. If we were, our discussions won't be here.

Just one guy I met at a wedding. We never even establish well and he wants to come join me in the bathroom. To do what?

if you dont know he was joking, sorry you have a poor awareness of humour.

Time heals by exposing one to others more compactible or valuable. A failed relationship is an opportunity for a better one if you learn as much as possible from it.

MariaLavina:
Okay you win. Keep calling out each other, until you get bored. I won't be a part of it

I'm not even going to end up with one of you, so why am I even bothered? Keep doing the good job Sir. Have fun

No until it gets corrected or they guys end up with ladies enough and single ladies increase enough in Nigeria until change is made.

MariaLavina:
Don't mind these guys, They know what they do yet they[b] will come here to act like saints.[/b] And when they see tables turning on the they get offensive. Hain! When will Nigerian men ever take responsibilities of their actions?

This is Nairaland sha

Correcting someone does not mean am calling myself a saint? Who reasons like that in this century ?