₦airaland Forum

I washed a dead man's intestines.

It was our second day in anatomy class and as usual the mortuary attendants and lecturer were doing their best to make us puke. They handled the formalin preserved corpses with their bare hands and them went to eat coke and egg-roll in a corner while they watched us. Two girls had already fainted and another kept on vomiting uncontrollably outside.

Some of us brought latex gloves from home but the attendants refused for us to use them. They said it would make us less afraid if we touched them with our bare hands. They reassured us that the corpses were well preserved and formalin was easily washed off. Even though the smell had a tendency to remain with you for days.

The guys were braving up as guys tend to do even though some were screaming inside. It got to the point where we needed to measure the small intestine. It was my turn to handle the knife that day. As usual we greeted all the corpses and took consent of what we were about to do. Then I made a cut through the stomach, through the skin and subcutaneous tissue, through the muscles and peritoneal layer, peeling each layer back and tagging it correctly as I went deeper until I entered the abdominal cavity.

"Take a look ladies and gentlemen!" the attendant said with a smile on his face. "You'll never see such a cooperative intestine again, unless of course you become a pathologist. "


We all looked into the dark hole of the abdomen. The intestines twined about like lucid snakes, asleep until judgement day. There was some feces still remaining in the large intestine, making it bulge out. It looked green and disgusting.

"Okay, whose going to harvest this thing and measure it? "

We all looked at each other. We had agreed previously and secretly that whoever held the knife that day would do all the gory stuff. I looked the attendant full in the eye and said I'll do it. He nodded in admiration.


I cut the intestines from the oesophagus to the junction where the small intestine turns to the large intestine. I separated it from its attachment to the gut. I carried the intestines out with my bare hands and went to the sink to wash it out. It reminded me of my washing of goat intestines at Xmas time. Same thing really, except that the goat intestine was fresher. I washed off all the stuff inside and brought it back to the table. Straightened it out and measured it.

Six meters.

"Good job!" the attendant remarked and turned to one the vomiting girl. "Oya go and feel it and describe to me...

And she fainted on the spot.

My hand smelled of intestine for days.

So I have this big plot of land.

A blank page that no one will probably ever read since it has gone past the first page of romance section.

What will I fill it with �

Hmmmmm

Chapter 1.
The girl who washed plates.

You don't need to know anything about me. It's not that important to this story. What I might let you know is that I'm male, I'm averagely tall, chicks think I'm handsome. It took me a while to notice that as well. I'm naturally a good person but I've been in some dark places and so I've picked up a few( few! Hmm am I sure about that?) bad habits. My face is innocent so you'd never tell from seeing me that I have done terrible things. Things I'm not proud of. I'm not a cultist or anything, I've never killed anyone... Not deliberately anyway. But I have done some bad things...
But that's not the point of this story. This story is about Annie.

Annie was a show-stopper she was. I'm using her real name by the way. How are you going to know if it's her even if you see her? There must be one million nigierians named Annie in delta state alone. Anyway you might know her by her average height, fair complexion, big breastes and curvy behind. She had a waist chiselled by angels. I was just coming out of seeing someone in the hospital when I saw her washing plates.

That's right. I didn't see her strolling on the road or sitting in some fancy restaurant. Nothing posh like that. I saw her squatting over some plates, washing vigorously, oblivious to the guy whose heart had stopped for a second when his eyes beheld her. She was a light-skinned beauty, no pimples, no make-up, her breasts even when she was squatting looked up towards the heavens yearning to be touched, struggling to burst out of the tight t-shirt she was wearing. Her buttocks was well rounded and the shape well delineated in her tight deep Blue Jeans. Her hair was golden brown, almost the same colour as her eyes and I knew without asking that she was Ibo.

She was frowning and looking around her and I deduced she didn't have enough water to rinse the plate she was washing. Before I knew it I had approached her and picked the empty black bucket by her side.

"I'll get it" I said, as if she had asked me for something. She just looked at me puzzled as I went over to the tap and fetched some more water. I brought it back to her the water sloshing in the bucket and my heart pounding in my chest. She took the water from me and smiled and my knees turned to water, her teeth were so white and perfectly aligned.

"Thanks" she said.

"No problem", I replied and then quickly walked off, leaving her staring at my back. Idi0t! Go back and ask her number! But I was on the bike and off to main market before I could gain control of my tongue.
Chai! What was wrong with me? Why was I behaving like a shy boy? But it was too late, the bike man had entered traffic. Still, the image on her face and that wonderful smile lingered in my memory and I wondered if I would ever see her again.
To be continued....

Chapter 2. Threeesome (almost)
Fukc! Fuckit!

I almost had a party.

Almost doesn't kill a bird though. I feel like knocking my head against the wall now that I remember it. Kai!

It was one of those hot afternoons. Cathy had come over for the weekend and as usual the sex was mind blowing. She obviously had been telling her friends about me because a few of them started calling that they wanted to visit her at my place, no doubt to check me and my place out.

So on this hot afternoon we were lazying about on the bed, naked, her glistening dark skin making me sigh and wish we could go a fourth round soon. My apartment was a one room and parlour, neat like a bachelors, air conditioned and white walls. Everywhere was calm.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Cathy jumped to her feet, her delicious boobs bouncing on her chest.

"She's here! " she shrieked.

"Who's here? " I asked lazily, not in a hurry to put on any clothes and watching her wistfully as she hurriedly put on a red G-string.

"Isioma! I told her I would he around and she said she was coming to visit."

I hissed as another knock on the door rent the calm atmosphere. I knew Isioma, a slim small fair Ibo girl and there was something about her I didn't quite like. I had made her acquaintance first before ever meeting Cathy but her quiet and cunning behaviour had thrown me off. Cathy knew we were old acquaintances. She also knew I couldn't stand her, and smiled.

"Don't worry, you don't have to come out. I'll tell her you're sleeping or something."

" yeah, do that please. Let me put on some clothes." I got up reluctantly and put on my boxers and a clean singlet. Didn't want Isioma to catch a glimpse of me and tell her friends I was wearing old underwear. I picked up one of my medical books and tried to read through even as Cathy went to the door.

"Na wa for you oh, Wetin you dey do wet you no fit open door quick, bad girl! " Isioma's squeaky voice filtered through.

"Abeg go jo, no be door I open so?" Laughed Cathy as she showed her in. I heard some whispering and them the television came on.

I stayed in the room for about thirty minutes, listening to them laugh and talk over the noise coming from the TV. I badly wanted to stretch my legs a bit and then I thought it childish to be hiding out in my own apartment. So I got up, rubbed my eyes a bit toake it look like I was just waking from sleep, and pretended to stagger into the parlour. Isioma saw me and jumped to her feet.

"Good afternoon sir! " she quipped.

"Who be sir, Abeg forget that thing. " I replied as cathy rolled her eyes. " you know Isioma is your sister na, she's always trying to be over polite." she grinned cheekily.

"Who politeness epp." I relpied and we all laughed though my laugh didn't reach my belly. I went back into the room to get something and they continued gisting.I sat on the bed for another 30mins waiting for Isioma to leave but instead they sounded like they were play-fighting over something. There were screams and yells and eventually curiousity got the better of me and I went to have a look.

Now keep in mind that Cathy is a big girl. She's not fat, but rather curvy all over. Isioma is a slim smaller, light skinned short haired version of her. Like a small girl.
Cathy however was less violent and Isioma had her in a head lock. It was obvious they were playing though. Cathy screamed out for my help and Isioma, her eyes shining, dared me to interfere. They had been struggling for a while because their clothes were rumpled and Isioma's blouse buttons had come undone.
What happened next was unplanned, almost natural. I joined the fray, loosed Cathy from Isioma's grip, and proceeded to carry screaming Isioma overy shoulder. Cathy followed closely behind laughing and spanking her on her buttocks. Isioma's pant was very visible, she wore a white cotton pant with blue design on it. There was nowhere to drop the struggling isioma safely so I carried her to the bed and dropped her there. She was still holding on to me and I fell on top of her while Cathy fell on top of me. The room still smelled of me and Cathy's sex and we were all breathing hard. I extricated myself from the tumble but Isioma fought through Cathy and grabbed a hold of my neck so that my mouth was inches from her almost exposed breast. My third leg immediately came to attention. Cathy's knicker had somehow come off and her red G-string was showing, Isioma's clothes were in disarray and the only thing that separate

sisisioge:
Are you a doctor? If we are talking blood here , I honestly can't stand it outside my own AF. But, if the JD remains about willing ears and non judgemental eyes...I'm in

There are some things that once heard can never be unheard. There are some things that disvirgin the eyes for evermore.

Until we meet again. Have a great morning

dingbang:
I am tired

What are you tired of?

wisdompeters35:
Thanks though, i am not a fool i made mistakes and i am willing and ready to learn from it and move on. i posted this story not because i could not keep it to myself, but because i want people learn from it and also get their opinions and advice so i and many others dont make such mistakes again. it has been a while though but i am now a better man mentally and spiritually. stay bless

WTH!

Your English has suddenly improved remarkably!

Hmm.

OK sha. Be careful. All the best.

sisisioge:
Jisos !

OK, I see I'm grossly unqualified. May there be peace around you .

BTW, blood is water soluble...or just jik it out

Lol, no blood is not water-soluble. Not after it has dried anyway. And Jik just turns it black.

You sure you don't want the job?

wisdompeters35:
sorry about the errors. you can read again i have do some editing.

I don't know why I found this funny

Pls don't edit it jare. The tale is wonderfully told in its pure form.

sisisioge:
Goodest morning Oga, wanna hire me now?

Do you know how to get rid of blood stains on clothes?

sisisioge:
Wonderful piece...your prospective MIL is happy to let her daughter do an abortion? Wow, what a new age family you are about to marry into.

Good morning Missy.

gabinogem:
Just couldn't read his post

Lol, it was hard but I read from beginning to end.

The meat of the gist:

Op na mumu.


Op you be mumu o.

Dem Don discover your mumu button.

Oya listen.

They have been milking you dry. Stop sending abortion money. It's a sin! Also stop because you are being tricked because of your niceness.


You never marry this girl. Keep away from her. If she asks to come to visit you do not agree. All this love you are forming for this girl if she enter your life permanently na you go dey beat am up and down you sef no go believe am.

Also for goodness sake, stop doing sex raw. She has accused you of pregnancy twice and has even brought infection, you are still doing pull-out method. How much be gold circle condom? Guy, no carry Wetin you no go fit carry o!

Stop having sex generally sef. At least for now. From the write-up there it's obvious you know little about a woman 's fertile cycle.

Block her and her mother. Don't let them call you.


Keep away from her o!!!

JONNYSPUTE:
My family just came in this evening for Christmas Nd I decided to give my wife a good time. As we were about driving out one of the girls(a student) that stays in my compound saw us Nd pleaded to go out with us,my wify said no problem so she went in Nd dressed up. We all went out together to Top rank hotels Ind. Layout Enugu.We got there Nd some of my friends were already seated,one of them was chyking the lady we went out together with Nd she was even flirting with him. I received a call from one of my hommies who just came in from America Nd told him where I was,he came Nd we all started having a good time. Suddenly,the lady that came with us who was having a nice time with one of my hommies based here in the country,started gisting with the guy Nd before I can say jack,she went out with that my friend that just came in from America. I wanted to say something but my wify said I should wait that maybe the guy took her home since its late,but now we re home Nd I ve asked the sister about her Nd she said she has not seen her. Hmmmm. Nawaoo naso some girls dey behave? Should I evacuate her from my boys quarter or I should just chill knowing that she is just hustling?.

One of your friends was chyking the lady and she was already flirting with him....

Another one that came from America arrived and she followed him ( a perfect stranger to her) home.

Guy she be runs girl looking for Christmas package.

Don't mind the numerous kids here supporting her, they would do exactly the same thing for money, shows you what our youth are into nowadays.

If she gets missing now same people asking if it's your business will be same to support the crowd saying you used her for rituals.

Na so many of them be now o. Morally bankrupt.

I don't think it's enough to send her packing from your house.


However keep your distance from her. When next you're going out don't invite her.

Choi but that your American friend go Don enjoy her punna last night till satisfaction.

Na so e be now bro, don't be surprised. It's Christmas period and the economy isn't smiling.

Cheers.

Wow!

A decent outfit for a change!

Kudos to her.

And yes she looks pretty!

alexialin:
Hmmmm.

You have so much questions and answers buried in that mind of yours.

Hope u chose the right person for the job ahead?

And have u guys started already?

Did I chose the right person for the job.
I'm yet to find out.

And yes, we have started.

annie74:
You don't put a price tag on friendship. Also,no one can be trusted. There is absolutely no guarantee that the person won't spill. Keep your secrets to yourself. It's safer. Anyway, I hope you get what you're looking for.

I'm not looking for a friend.

Friends... do not exist.

alexialin:
Lol.

This thread is hilarious.

But Prognose, what do you mean by she has too much light?

Do u need a dark soul?

A dark soul that has found its way back to the path and is willing to show others...how it did it.

sisisioge:
Oga consider me nau

No.

You have too much light.

sisisioge:
The part you are worried about is quite ungrounded because of this thread alone...it's the invitation to treat of the employer/employee relationship that would ensue. What you should be worried about is the weight of the info shared , burden of bearing and the ability of the hearer to later be able to sleep at night. It is well...the guy would eventually sack a lot of people before opting for a shrink later

But if na just to yarn frightening things that won't make anyone pee their pants, I don't mind one bit. The extra cash is always welcomed

I've always liked you.

You have a good head on your shoulders.

Evablizin:



Definition of love. She did that out of love. Is better for to revive her husband with hot water than to be a widow.

Thank God her efforts wasn't in vain.

Quick recovery to him.

Wait, what

Appreciation.

I want to thank all of you that responded.

Honestly I didn't think the outcome would be this encouraging , but it was.

I've chosen my candidate. Hopefully all goes well. If it doesn't then this thread serves as evidence against you.

Those sending PMs can stop now, thanks. I've gotten what I need for now.
Thanks again.

Marriage”. I can’t just point out
the reason why ladies do feel that
the best time for them to get
married is between the ages of 20 to
25. It is believed that it’s very wrong
to be a spinster at the age of 26 and
above because they feel that at
these ages, ladies begin to lose their
beauty.

Lol.

You think they are rushing to get married at this age because of their beauty?

Anyway, it's obvious this is copy and paste.

A lot of nonsense on the internet these days as anyone can upload any information.

Women are on a biological clock. It's not the patriarchy's fault, it's just Mother Nature. The older a woman gets the more difficult it will be for her to have kids. Women instinctively know this hence the rush to get married.

And then I realised I don't really care enough anymore to keep typing....

Lalas247:
Lol you have a point though ..

I know I do

cummando:
Oga....talk and keep quiet abi? No wahala. Ayam the man. Check my signature. Access to many secrets. Trained too.




And for the right price I'll sing you to sleep sef

Lol

P. S. about your siggy, are you serious? No jokes.

9jaDoc:
You mentioned secret twice but forgot to mention salary range, the most important thing - indication u r not serious.

Thanks.
Keep moving.

Hello.

Are you good at keeping secrets?

Are you non-judgmental?

Do you keep your cool on receiving earth-shattering information?

Can you be objective most times and supportive when necessary?

Can you avoid jumping to conclusions?

Can you carry on a decent conversation without making the discussion about yourself?



Can you keep a secret? (Repetition not a mistake)

Then this job is for you!

I'm currently recruiting staff to tell my secrets to. Job experience is very necessary and must span at least a couple of years. You must have at least one person who can vouch for your wit, wisdom and the ability to be a good friend. If you have any past history of back-stabbing or gossiping don't bother to apply. If you slip-up your contract will be terminated (and I mean that in every sense of the word)

Thank you and indicate interest below. You will be contacted shortly.

Heeeeeeeeeeey he's back!

Glad to see you up on your feet bro

Don't worry, you don't know me. I'm kind of like your ghostfollower

ibkkk:
Leave us alone.

Is it your nipples

Is it your breasts

Who will admire them?

Who will play with them?

Your fellow women?

Or the raunchy males your secretly want to desire them?

tracyfemmmm:
Because it's non of your business. People can do what they want with their bodies. You guys on this forum too like to talk woman matter.

Its not so much their fault sha. Too many ladies exposing their bodies these days and pretending that its nobody's business. But as you can see it is everyone's business when you make your private life public for everyone to see.