realG101:


You're saying if she wants to buy even her own under pants, she should have to wait till I come home

No.
Read it again ...slowly.

realG101:
Though, I've never been outside nigeria and have no personal information about how relationships are run in the western world. I believe romantic relationships are generally more refined and stress free (for the man) outside nigeria and Africa as a whole.

I don't want to be misunderstood, this is not me trying to hold nigerian relationships to foreign standards as this will be unfair due to cultural differences.

However, certain factors should remain globally constant as far as human relationships are concerned.

We are given to understand that in the usa and other advanced climes, both partners in a relationship are at liberty and usually willing to share financial responsibilities and provision generally is not a fixed responsibilities of the man.

Women abroad are generally open to split financial responsibilities with their men according to their capability and unlike their nigerian counterparts, they are not programmed to expect a man to foot all the bills.

Against this background, I'm of the opinion that it is inappropriate for a woman to make demands for personal items in a relationship.

It is very common and almost a norm in Nigeria for a woman to ask a man to buy her a phone or pay for her hair or even pay her rent.

Don't get me wrong, if you have an emergency as a woman, you can ask your boyfriend for help once in a while. But not to make the boyfriend your source of livelihood and maintenance.

Also, it is expected and perfectly normal for a man to buy his girlfriend a phone (maybe on her birthday), or pay for her hair. But I believe such expenses should be at his own discretion not upon demand by the girlfriend.

It is no classy for a girlfriend to make financial demands when it's not an emergency or a crisis.

But also, a classy boyfriend is expected to gift his girlfriend nice items once in a while to spice the relationship and to bond more.

If a boyfriend doesn't send you gifts occasionally, it is likely he is not comfortable financially or he is stingy. In this cases, the lady is required to engage him in order to discover the reason and decide whether she can cope.

Again, a woman is not mean to make financial demands for her personal needs. It's fine if the demand is for household maintenance when you two get married.

Moreso, it is expected that adults should be able to take care of their own personal needs.

Any person, man or woman, who cannot buy their own personal stuff or whose taste or lifestyle is beyond what they can afford by themselves, run from them. They are problematic people and can never be loyal to you.

In addition, any woman who make habitual financial demands when there's no emergency is either a runs girl or has a serious relationship elsewhere.

I am not oblivious of the fact that there are less privileged women out here who actually need to marry men who are capable of giving them a better life. This is an exceptional situation and I personally see nothing wrong in it as life is dynamic and is about people helping people.

What is unacceptable here is the narrative that women are okay to be entitled to men's money even when the woman has her own money.

It is key to note that unlike some decades ago, especially after the several industrial revolutions the world has witnessed, money making is no longer about muscle or masculinity but about brainpower.

There is no scientific evidence that a random man is smarter than a random woman which means money Making is not particularly easier for the man in today's world.

This is just a call to our ladies to up their game and do better so that we can see better and more successful and less problematic relationships and marriages in the coming generations.

Do you agree with these views?

You made valid points until the bolded. It is your duty as a husband to provide for your wife and by extension, your household. Every religion recognizes this. Failure to be a provider makes you worse than an infidel. There's nothing wrong in her supporting you wherever necessary, it is not her duty. Many men want the title and respect that comes with husband but cannot do what it entails.

uuzba:

The man is doing that because he's reacting to something.
Even if the man was a pure angel, the same woman would display same behaviour that gets the guy upset.
And finally, he will divorce her (instead of beating).
Beating is bad. But beating will still not change the woman's behaviour.
So he should just divorce her fast and save himself from social media embarrassment.

Said like a proper wife beater. Is provocation an excuse to hit someone? You've concluded the man might be a saint and it's the woman's behavior that warranted the beating? Are you normal? Did you take your meds today? Because you sound psychotic. You think your misogynistic views make sense? You should go see a psychiatrist because you're clearly sick in the head. A disgrace to real men. I only pity the woman who ends up with you.

ceejay80s:
Don't only blame the husband ,
I know some of u will say *what ever they might have done u still don't touch her*
Women are very manipulative, the 9nly way they toture Igbo men is leaving the house or leaving with the children,
I trust yoruba men, Dem no send, Dem go find another woman put for house the next day,
U know what ur husband likes and dislikes, don't do silly things he doesn't like and expect him not to talk and when he does, u provoke him more, before 70,% of man will touch beat or fight their wives, the woman would have done something that deserves the beating, when these women start sleeping out with other men, they start seeing their husbands as rubbish and start looking for excuse or fight, then claim victim...
Oya nairaland come bash me

Said like a proper wife beater. I will give you the attention you so badly crave. Is provocation an excuse to hit someone? Or to constantly beat a person for 11 years? Yet, you've quoted fake stats from your sawdust brain to back up your stupid claims. You clearly think you've made sense when every sentence lacks simple logic. Perhaps your father should have beat your mother into a miscarriage or to death instead of having you as a child, and an anomaly to this world. You think your misogynistic views make sense? People like you get in trouble from the day they step foot on foreign soil. You should go see a psychiatrist because you're clearly sick in the head. And while you're at it, fix your grammar too. You sound like an illiterate.

Hate to be the bearer of bad news but he's going to kill her eventually. Then leave behind traumatized children with a father behind bars. You can't look after your kids when you're dead. Go and watch Marriage Virus on YouTube.

Victim shaming and blaming is one hell of a drug on Nairaland. Again, the woman is to blame for the beast she married.

Stargangz:
WTF! Those robbers should have take turns to bleep her.

Said like a demented rapist and clearly, an empty skull.

So sad. Rest in peace, champ!

I hope she is prosecuted to the full extent of the law

Surprised is an understatement

purples25:
Did someone say she's 40? I cannot believe that. What cream is she using?

If you're beautiful, more than half of your problems are solved.

Yes she's 40. Mixed as only one of her parents is African(Nigerian).

MrBrownJay1:


SHATTAP THERE!!!!
millions of women go through postpartum every year, and i doubt many are killing their children (apart from the bastard yeye mothers out there)... but furthermore, tell us all what does postpartum got to do with a mother who knowingly kills her child because her new BF doesnt want children AND/OR a mother who kills her daughter due to riltual greed?!

Awww frustration is real because all the links you put up there were not all rituals. Again, I know your frustration is what makes you vent on this platform but you'll be alright.

Pharaoh4rin:
Some women uses pregnancy as a trap to torment their husbands. When I marry, and my wife becomes pregnant I'll encourage her to behave herself. All this spit, sighing, crawling.....I can't take it. Our mothers passed through the level

My dear sisters, he doesn't speak for us husbands. Please ensure you run all background checks including pysch evaluation before you choose a father for your children and a husband for yourselves. Pregnancy and post pregnancy is a journey that requires all-round support. Marry a kind man, if you won't do it for yourself, do it for your kids at least.

Met her at a service in Dallas a few years ago. Happy 40th birthday Prophetess Lianna. Welcome to the 4th floor! More grace.
To the people running their mouths, she is married with two very handsome boys.

MrBrownJay1:


even the "fantastic" ones below...?!:

https://www.nairaland.com/7681450/kenyan-strangles-3-yr-old-son-death
https://www.nairaland.com/7677043/cameroonian-mother-dumps-newborn-baby
https://www.nairaland.com/7683448/mother-poisoned-sister-asked-me

Eyah. Because you know nothing about Postpartum Depression.

And hopefully, you and the few ignorant ones on this thread that know nothing about pregnancy can educate yourselves:

https://www.cdc.gov/reproductivehealth/maternalinfanthealth/pregnancy-complications.html#Common%20Pregnancy%20Complications

lhordspy:


Nice.

But i think the first one is a little bit to harsh. Yes, the cost of running the royal family is on the high side but in terms of tourism, they also attract lot of money.

Secondly, the last point you gave justifies my second point. You are looking for a scapegoat for princess Diana's death. And Queen consorts Camillia will always be a victim.

People are actually going through a lot. There have been more strikes the past year than ever. True, the Royals bring in about £50million on the average for tourism annually. It still doesn't justify the taxpayers money being used to fund their lifestyles.

Queen Camilla is no victim was what I wanted to correct. You could say she's on the receiving end of the animosity towards her but it's not just her.

IamPlato:
dey play 🤣history man 🤣

Says a dimwit with a low IQ. Run along now and go engage your kind

IamPlato:
Diana that was fvcking another man behind her husband? Is that the Diana you say is intelligent 🤣

With your access to the internet, you should not be dependent on hearsay or rumours. If you don't have facts or are not a British citizen, don't engage my comments. I won't be the one to teach you history.

And of all the points stated, it's Princess Diana that is your problem. You can talk about intelligence yet you're an Andrew Tate fan lol. Educate yourself and stop wasting away on Nairaland. Won't be part of the idiocy going on on this forum.

lhordspy:
Three factors playing out:

1. The King isnt as popular as the Late queen Elizabeth. The people are not use to the change yet and they dont seem like they want to or going to get use to it anytime soon.

2. The Late Princess Diana death is still playing against everyone in the royal family. The Citizens still looking for scapegoats.
Queen Camillia is always the victim here.

3. I think the citizens are tired of not being able to elect their leader themselves. They want a president not some fancy kingdom with kings and queens.

They wish to vote their leader themselves. They want to be the decider and for that to happen, they need to scrap the monarchy system entirely.

Not very possible with the way things stand.

No. They do not want the monarchy because:
- They have continued to live extravagant lives while the average Briton suffers, more taxes, higher cost of living, etc. Including the money spent on this coronation as a state event. Figures they won't make public due to backlash. But speculations say £250 million of state money. There are more food banks here in the UK than ever before.

- The colonial past and present. The deeds have come to light. Most people are no longer ignorant of what happened under the Monarchy with commonwealth countries.

- People like Prince Andrew with paedophile charges still walking free because he is a member of the Royal Family.

- We will have a Diana over a Camilla. She was an epitome of class, beauty, intelligence, and empathy. She never let royalty get to her head. We see that in Harry. Camilla was a side chick who was allowed into their marriage by the current King, then Prince Charles. And no, she can never fit in Diana's shoes.

This is a clear case of human trafficking if true. 70+ girls in a house in the bush is a big red flag. I hope the Nigerian Embassy in Burkina Faso will investigate this

chaloskyx:
bros dont mind these online trolls blaming you to have been more attentive every man and woman for him/herself at 23 she is old enough to make her decisions heck the girl dint even confide with her mother and sisters talkless of you. abeg move on infact you even dodged a bullet is this the kind of wife you want to be dealing with? if you had been married and she took her life all hamds will point at you so celebrate God saved you may we not marry people who have the spirit of death hanging over them

You are either very daft or demented.

Elizkid:
My Fiancé called last night and said she wanted to die. She wouldn’t tell me what the problem was.


I got angry and told her to get off the phone if she couldn’t say what her problem was. She said she’s in trouble and would kill herself.

Her sister broke the news to me morning. I’m so down. I should have calmed her down. I should have been patient and listened to her.

But I was just angry because she didn’t say anything on time. My friend even spoke to her on phone and told her to tell him what the issue was and that she’s causing unrest for everyone. I feel so guilty. I’m down

You didn’t have to take your own life, babe.

I heard it has to do with an issue she has with her family. I need words to calm me down right now. I’ve not been myself.

OP this is very sad to hear. Putting the blame on yourself won't bring her back. But I hope this serves as a lesson to all of us. People are going through things and all they need is for someone to be there for them, to reassure them that things will be alright. It could be a colleague, a spouse, a neighbor, even a stranger. Depression does not have a look, it manifests in different ways. The person you think is the happiest in the room could be at the point of suicide too. May God give us discernment and help us to be more sensitive.

logicalhumour:
Congrats to her. She had the guts to do the very thing nearly all humans pusșy away from. Mad respect to anyone who can take their own life! Overcoming that fear of the unknown isn't easy.

The reality is that even the one who loved her the most would move on and someday (very soon) start laughing with friends again. Na so life be. We just come to Eat, Grow, born pikin, and Die. We do not even know why we do this... We are useless containers.

"Only the living receive pain."
She was smart enough to understand that phrase in a deeper level.

You think that suicide is something to celebrate?

GreatVocalist:

Do you have to be insensitive and insensible at the same time? Nor be everything be play, guy.

People like him are nonentities. He still didn't read where it said it was on her way from work. Sawdust brain

Aigbedion141:
Omo! Was a gambler for 4years only GOD knew how he manage to pull me out.
Now I'm into womanizing spent over 300k within 4months.

I'm extremely tired and saddened, And always remorseful! I regret everybit of my actions after chyking olosho (Hookup, hoe).

Once I'm broke sex doesn't cross my mind.
But the moment there is enough capital my mind is filled up with different theories of sex style.

Initially I started it to kill depression, boredom and shyness.
Now I'm addicted, as a knowledgeable man I'm aware it will obstruct my pathway to success and it's diminish glory and destroy destiny.

I'm very willing to stop and will be very grateful to the advice i will be receiving here.
Thank you to everyone who contributed and to everyone who read.. love always.

It's a lethal combination that can destroy a man's destiny. But Nairaland redpillers will tell you womanizing is for Alpha males. My brother fight it with all your strength. It's a destiny killer. If you need to go to therapy, go. If you need an Accountability partner, talk to someone you can trust and can hold you accountable. You have passed the first step, and that's recognising you have a problem. Bless up bro

Created a new account to make your confession when you use your other accounts to bash people.
The girl you're currently dating will think she has found love, please let her go. I hope she has not given you her body too. You're sick and the people suggesting solutions to you are only wasting their time.

SIRTee15:


Abeg go siddon somewhere. Once blacks break the law, they start throwing the racist card.
The question remain was he involved in organ trafficking or not? Nobody cares about your skin colour, it's their country and their law.
If black Africans feel it's too harsh, sit your butt in your continent and develop it

I don't need to "go siddon somewhere." Now read what I wrote again this time with comprehension. Except you have lived in the UK for 18 years this year, I am not about to exchange words on a faceless forum with a person who cannot read and understand simple English.

Not saying what he did was right. It wasn't at all.5 But the Prosecutor's line of argument feels like racial bias. The yt people in the UK feed off these things once an opportunity presents itself.

Who owns Dubawa? Best put, who's bankrolling Dubawa? With their low budget website, they have the resources but physical, human and financial for fact finding mtchewww

aikyg:

Proud? How? Proud that they cannot amicably resolve issues with a major foreign investor. This unnecessary flexing of muscles is not going to to help us oo.

Investor or plunderer? Smh
Some Africans love their chains

Brilliant news!
Cannot treat Nigerians like second-class citizens in their own country.

People need to always do their due diligence when choosing a life partner. Some people are walking mental cases among sane humans