₦airaland Forum

igwebest23:
This is too much for me. I have had enough. I got married to my wife last year October 2020. I did both traditional wedding and white wedding, spent a million plus. I work with ministry of health.

My wife has been insisting that I disclose my salary to her from day 1 but I never, I just told her that am earning 100+. Before I met my wife, she already learn Fashion designing. Then while was rushing around, preparing for wedding, she was pestering me to open shop for her. I specifically told her that d money I have now is Solly for wedding and traditional rite, which cost me fortune.

Then after much pressure, her people contributed money and paid for d shop (Remember I have paid her bride price then). I have swallowed red pill. How can I open shop for a girl I have not finished marrying. Then when she opened d shop, I equally supporting her with other things like buying protector and chairs. Every day she is going to shop, I drop pocket of 1k. Some times she asks me money to buy tailor materials which I give.

Now within a space of 7 months my wife now has 14 apprentices. She collected like 30k from them. Then all the money she made in her shop, she put all in her account, she doesn't contribute anything at home. Infact decided not to apply for ATM card. Some time, I may go to. ATM to get money and d tell me no network, if I come to my wife to ask her for ordinary 1k, she will say she doesn't have it. I never asked her to help in our home finances before, and I don't really care about her money.

But now found out through her Facebook chat that she sent her male school friends 7k. She hid it from me, she said d guy needed d money to treat her father in d hospital. I was shock. Cos my wife always complained she does not have money. Now she is complaining that I don't support her in her shop. That she can do whatever she wants with her money.

This morning, she was raising her voice to the hearing our flat neighbors, that am a useless husband, I feel insulted. Am embarrased. That I don't support her. She said her shop rent has expired that I should give her d money but she have enough money in her account to pay it. While is asking me. Am d one that pays for house rent, I buy food stuff, I give her transport every day.

I have had enough. I will call her mum to come over and carry her daughter. I can never beat her. The last night I shouted at her she fainted not to talk of beating.

Oga, I have to be sincere to you here. Two of u have problems. There is some level of immaturity in two of u.
I don't want to start going into that right now cos of my time.

Now let me blame you on your failures. Not saying that your wife is right. But I want to tell you, as a man there are things you should've done to have a peaceful home.
Let's start with this ur statement:

Then after much pressure, her people contributed money and paid for d shop (Remember I have paid her bride price then). I have swallowed red pill. How can I open shop for a girl I have not finished marrying.

The bolded. This is a very wrong statement and a very silly mindset. This is a woman you have accepted to live wt all the rest of ur life. Why will u witthold doing anything good for her. It is also from this shop u refused to help her establish that u expect her to contribute from for the upkeep of the home. You know how women reason, she will not give anything from her shop to u as u refused to contribute to it's foundation.

Let me give u example from my own experience. I met my wife wen she was in her final year. I made my intention known to her. When I saw that she has accepted me. Deep inside me, I took her as my wife. Unrestrictly ready to build her up.
When she went for Youth Service. I acquired a piece of land built a shop for her. When she came back I told her that I will not like her to do any white collar job now unless if it will be that type that will shoot her very high. I told her that I want her to have enough time for our upcoming family and kids. Showed her the shop and told her to start that same biz she was doing in low key while in the university now in a more better way. We finally got married.
From dat day till now, I ve never asked her how much she is making from that business. I still do give her loan to keep upgrading the shop. She takes care of the home in so many ways even without asking from her. Sometimes, she will offer to help me out when my finance is down.

Bros, you mistake is not lending her that support when she needed it and your body language was hw can I do dis for someone I am not even sure of. She picked that body language.

Then on the issue of her trying to know how much u earn. U are a man naa, you should always be smarter than ur woman. Pick ur appointment letter, edit and reprint it naa and show her. If u are earning N150,0000. Edit it to read N75,0000 and show her. Every month give her 20k or 30k and tell her that the balance is where your transportation, feeding at the office, house rent and other expenses will come from. When she sees u doing things more than N75,000 salary earner, she will respect u believing that u are not misusing your salary.
Never you tell ur wife ur real salary. No matter how much u love her or what your pastor preaches to u.

To manage women is very easy. Only a man that is not smart find it difficult to manage women. God made them cheap to be handled.
If you are angry that ur wife is shouting at you, oga, no who go shout at u if not ur wife? Na only her has the license to shout at you ooo.

So call her and don't start behaving as if you are in a war or dragging who is stronger in the home. If u do dat, she will always win cos she will shout and wen ppl come, they will blame u cos she will tell them what u will be ashamed to even tell.
You can only use wisdom to win her.
Do for your wife anything you can afford. Don't think weda she will disappoint u or not. Do it and let it be.

Sagtop:
But this thread is all about COAS, go to twitter and see how children of anger are crucifying the President since he made the appointment. You guys needs to be schooled.

You cant change goal post. Tell me if this is not true.

You are still far from understanding.
No body is saying that he cannot chose his COAS from his village.
Why people are crucifying him, according to u is because all his appointments are from one side.
If he had spread his appointments just like other presidents, no one will complain.
No body crucified the past president on pattern of appointments cos they relatively spread their appointments over the whole regions.

This is an illogical compilation.
It is very irrational. Why did I say so?

The Op want us to believe that President Buhari has not done anything different from what other presidents did.
But this post failed to prove that.
The post is just one sided.

Can the OP do a compilations of all the appointments that the present President has done compared to the appointment patterns of previous presidents and let us see if the appointments were fairly spread across the regions of nucleated.

Op pls be fair in spreading information, at least for the sake of many that are here who may not be able to judge well.

Why are our lovely female NLanders avoiding this thread.
Only one out of about 5 female commenters said something close to bn reasonable.
The other 4 are either trying to derail the thread of they are confused.

LET THEM REVIEW THE PART THAT SAYS "ONE NIGERIA"

Why is the arrow pointing at his d!ck. Hope no be d!ck put am for this mess.

Well, na so police dey kill innocent people.
They have bn instructed to eliminate all the able bodied men of the Eastern part of the country.
This will make it easy for them to conquer and take over our land.

Augla1:
Abeg, musa out security guy get one rusty gun wey him no dey use, him fit borrow for just one day, since na wetin dey hungry you be that

Lol.....I don't need a gun to get those drinks.
I can afford it. You can come over if u feel like having a sip

Augla1:
You too get sense.
Just choose one; Olosho for one night or bottles.
You really deserve a gift

Hahahahahaahaha.
Unfortunately, I don do Olosho and I no dey take green bottles,
If it must be bottles, get me a bottle of Cheval Blanc 1947 or Chateau Lafite 1869.

class001:
Please Help My Relationship Is Crumbling

I am here to ask if anyone has been experiencing same issue with me regarding whatsapp calls because it's about crashing my relationship.

My girlfriend and I usually call on whatsapp every night because we reside in different cities and we usually talk for long. She complains that sometimes when she tries to call my line mostly at night, it will tell her that I'm on another call even when I'm not on any call. She even screenshot it to me several times and the fact is anytime this happens I might not even be with the phone.

Last time this happened, I tried calling her back on whatsapp and it said I can't make the call because I was already on another call of which I wasn't on any call.

She has started suspecting that I am cheating on her and threatening to leave.

I want to ask if anyone has also witness same situation and what could be responsible for this?

Please I need positive response and how to resolve this.

Thank you.

How old are u and ur partner?
If a trivial issue like this can break your relationship up, then two of u need to go back to the drawing board.
There is trust issue between you guys.
Even if she calls u and u are actually on another call, must she conclude that the person u are on call wt is a lady and u are cheating wt the lady.

Augla1:
Just as you said if you leave it, it will grow 'week by day'. You know what Geometric progression is

And if he still leaves it, it will grow months by the week, then years by the month and geometrically like that until it becomes decades by the year, century by the decade and even millennium by the century and so on.

So the best option is not to leave it.

Easyincome24:
This isn't about being a black man. It's obsession with car just like some love their pets etc.

This act may look stupid to us but we can't hurriedly judge someone else unless we are in their shoes

Some stupid things are just outrangingly stupid. You don't need to wear the person's shoes to understand.

This is pure suit stupidity.

No be only government sabi lie. Make we too dey lie the lie give dem back to back.

saphiere:
The recruitment would be public and in a known location and things of such won't occur.

You are not thinking straight and rational my dear. Sorry to say that.

So interviews are conducted in a town-hall in a country where the government is working well.
What do u mean by public and known location?
Public and known location are relative.
That place u called unknown may be a well known location to many others.
So what criteria will u use to determine a public and known locations?

See double Mark of the Beast on his forehead.

andyblinks05:
Too many dormant brain for this country and as far as na religion some mumus go still follow like sheep

As smart as your brain is, you still believe that this is coming from a church just because u saw a man they addressed as a Pastor in that banner.
Your brain is in pathetic situation.
Some people will just get so mad once they hear anything that concerns God, Church, Christ or Pastors that they will not even want to think if wat was said was true or not.

dederocs:
The work of a man of pulpit is to sell hope, not fear.

So when there is real danger he should not shout out about it.

I don't know why we are like dis in this country.
The same people talking of faith,hope and steadfastness in prayer are the same people that are telling us that religion is our problem.
They are the same people that will be bashing men of God when they chose to gather people for prayer session when there is problem in the land. They will bash them and tell them to take action and not to pray.
They are the same people that will tell the men of God and their followers that Prayer point is not counted in election vote.

Now, this man has taken the practical way of solving his problem and also advised his followers to start thinking toward that line and u guys are still complaining.
If he had come out to tell us to pray hard and have faith that this country will be good and that everyone should stay put in this country and have hope of the better days, you guys would've dragged him all over the internet.

There is real fear and danger in the land. He has warned us. If u can afford to leave, do so. If u can't, start planning for alternative (Plan B). There is nothing like spreading fear or showing lack of faith and not believing what he preached.

saphiere:
She was killed by the govt. If govtnhad provided jobs she wouldn't have gone there.

Cheap and irrational logic.
You want to tell me that people are not murdered in those countries governments make provision for adequate employment for her citizens.
Even when there is enough employment opportunities in a country, don't people go about searching for it. Or do they sit at home and employments thrown to them? So if anything happened on that process, government should be held responsible.
Brainless logic.

We are not doubting that this government has totally failed us and themselves, but not everything should be blamed on the government.

saphiere:
This can't bring Iniobng back to life. Nigerian government always practising medicine after death.

I would reject such offer.

I dey hear you.
Talk is cheap

Was the employment offer from the government or a private firm?
Was she killed by the government?

Maryjane001:
Good evening N/Landers,
I was amongst hundreds of people that participated on a giveaway promo done by a popular actor,Kenneth Okonkwo.
Laptops and plama TVs would be shared amongst his fans randomly. I participated in it on two occasions. The first occasion didn't work out. The second one which happened on 13th May was what I received a reply on 14th but didn't get to read it till yesterday.
I was shocked to see the message because I never thought I would even qualify and also scared to know if it was real or not. Tried checking the email he used to send me the message and it is the same thing with the one on his Facebook page.
Today I called this Tebira guy who is in charge of waybilling the stuffs. He asked for my location and the code I was given. I told him everything. Then he said I have to come to their office in Abuja to get the items or pay 12k if i want it delivered to my place in Enugu.
Asked if he could accept payment in delivery, he said he only accepts half payment which is 6k. Told him to send me the address later on.
So guys is this real or not?. Cuz I m super scared that it might be a scam and would want to forfeit it. Even the Tebira guy told me to forfeit it if I think it is a scam.
Below is the message Kenneth Okonkwo sent to me four days ago.

N:B - I 'm sorry if you feel it's wrong I posted it on this section, I felt here is where I can get advise from the right people.
Also Mods should push to front page so people can be aware of this. Many people could have been scammed by this guys all in the guise of giveaway.

If you don't know what to do with that money u want to send to those scammers, u better take it and bless ur mother, father or siblings wt it.
There is nothing like giveaway from Kenneth Okonkwo to his fans.
You people should stop accepting all those celebrity's fans Facebook group. Most of them are scammers.

.....but why should a school leave such a very convenient facility for easy facilitation of suicide?
The school authority should be held responsible.
If that roof was sealed, the girl wouldn't have seen a convenient place to commit that crime against herself.

Everyday she comes there to eat, she will be silently telling herself, "Once I get the rope, I will sneak in here, tie the rope on this particular plank. Climb this block platform we use as dinning table. Then I will put my neck on the noose and jump off from the platform and that will be the end of this problem,"

If that roof has ceiling, the easiness this girl took that decision may not have happened. She may have found it difficult to get a convenient place to do that and may have developed cold feet by the time she finds a good place or someone may have either made her change her mind of caught her will taking the action.

MORAL: Don't make visible those things that will make crime easier and simple.

Hahahahahaha

.....and now the nyash will be smaller than what it was.
Not only dat, it will look so dirty and unattractive to behold.

They gave her the charge in the US and she felt it was expensive.
She had to come down to Nigeria to look for a very cheap clinic that can pack cotton wool or bags of sachet water into her bum bum.

Na e don become the case of...oya return it the way it was wen I brought it here. No do for me again.

mespusinglez:
Let's reflect on the bad experience we've ever had with a room during ou staying with them


My room mate will always disappear whenever there is bill to pay, no maintenance...always buying clothes and shoes but can't bring money for us to cook a good meal...it was a terrible experience jare

Over to you guys
Drop yours

Rocktation
Farano

Mine was when I was still a bachelor.
Right from time, I love space.
I don't normally get an apartment that is small.
Then, I had a 3-bedroom flat with 2 toilets and 2 bathrooms.

There was this guy. He came to me and begged that I should help him by renting a room in my apartment to him. I told him that I don't like living wt people. He begged and sounded so good. He even had to contact one of the ladies that live in the same building who he claimed is like a sister since they came from the same town. The lady came begging on his behalf.

I agreed to rent a room since the apartment is 3bedroom and I was a bachelor.
I charged him far below what the landlord charged if we are to estimate the rent per room.
He paid part of the rent and told me that he will pay the remaining later when he packed in.
I had no problem with this since money was not my problem and I did not rent the place to raise money.
He packed in but did not pay the balance till the period he paid for elapsed. I do reminded him of his balance but he kept playing pranks.

This guy started coming back home at odd hrs. Coming to knock on the door around 12 midnight and beyond. I will wake up to open the door for him. This continued until I started complaining to him of that behaviour. He did not change.
At a point he got into trouble wt one of his numerous girlfriends that he brought home that night. He was arrested for rape. Taken to Police early in the morning and was taken to Court the next day. It was me that brought a surety that granted him bail from prisons when after the 1st hearing he was granted bail and taken to prison till the bail condition was fulfilled.
Let me leave this side of the story cos it is too long with many twists.

The annoying part of this ungrateful guy was that he summoned the courage to go to my Landlord and told him that he wants to be paying him directly for that one room he is occupying in my flat. The Landlord was so furious about this act. He walked him out of his house. Note that the Landlord was not living in the same building with us. He lives in a different estate from ours.
The man later called me and told me to be careful of that guy I gave a room in the flat. He told me what he came to him to request for.

Jostoman:
you always vomit rubbish Everytime.

Like u have not taken time to look at his monika.
A look at his monika will tell u more about who he is and what kind of mentality he has.
We don't waste time and other resources on such a person.

Hashabiah:
Israel has just started fighting a war they cannot win. The best solution is to broker peace because Muslims are more suicidal than any other religious group out there

This same mentality that has bn fueling their violence.
People believ that they can easily kill and start giving in to their threats.
And they keep growing in their violence.

The best way to treat that kind of person is to show him extreme madness.
Show him that you too love violence and next time he wants to make trouble, he will think twice.

family6644:
I need serious advise from experienced nairalanders, please forgive my lengthy message because it requires detailed explanations.

I lost my wife exactly 3 months ago, 4 years of relationship and 13 years of marriage with her before she passed on, she left behind 3kids, 13yr old girl 7yr and 3yr old boys. I understand marriages are full of their challenges but we have been through the journey and we came out victorious having a loving and happy home, a union other partners appreciates.

My late wife was so organized and we trainned my kids to be independent while she travels on local business trips. So I just needed to continue our family habit of buying and stocking everything at home while they manage themselves with the help of an older maid who has been part of the family for many years, in short, we are faring quite well as I continue to mourn my wife and carry on with life.

Here is the problem, from a lot of condolence messages coming in on my Facebook, I had the chance to reply some of them 2weeks ago, I met this single mother of two who invited my kids to her daughter's birthday party, i was reluctant but she said it is time to start taking the kids out since they are yet to resume school, exactly what they needed at that point was the usual outing which has been missing for a while since their mother's sickness and after her demise, approx 6months in total. She said it's not a loud party that she needed only my kids for the small sitting room party.

I decided, went to the party with the kids, it was fun for the kids, I have not seen them happy like that in a long while, it made me happy too, they fell in love with the two sisters and their mother all like a miracle, my little 3year old boy started calling her mommy, others follow and it all seem like a family reunion. We left late at night with her girls asking that they meet again the next day which was a Sunday. To cut it short, my kids and hers agreed to meet the next day except for me. To be honest, the lady is a nice and lovely person to be with, she's a realtor who can work from home, she's real and beautiful, she has been a single mother for 4yrs after her husband travelled out and abandoned them to marry another woman, that's according to her.

She called me that her kids could not allow her rest, they said if we can't come, she should bring them to our house, I mildly rejected but i was persuaded by my daughter and my first son to have them around, I could see that they have bonded quite well, I want my kids to be happy too, that's what I have always wanted for them so I agreed and gave them our address. To cut the story short, I find it impossible to separate the two families that has come together to become one, when they were leaving back to their house my kids pleaded with me to allow them go with mommy to her house, I understand that is real because she's lovely with kids. I had the confidence to trust my kids with someone for the first time in my life. They didn't want to come back, I had to go and pick them up the next day, all of them made sure they came back home with me, we started living together as a family and everyone was enjoying it.

It became an automatic affair with her, I was worried about it been too early, I had to involve few of my friends to seek opinions, some were happy that i could get a good mother for my kids this soon, others asked me to stop the family union and give it a little time to study her character. I suggested some space but she felt very bad, she thinks I am sending them away. I had to allow them stay while I use the opportunity to observe the new found love and family.

12days after, I realize that in a bid to reorganize me and help me to move ahead in life, she totally disregards anything that concerns my late wife whom I still hold dear to my heart, same as my daughter and my adopted daughter, I don't like to address her as a maid. We loved and cherished my late wife, everything she introduced seems to be strange to the norms of the family. If I try to raise my concerns for her to adjust, she will simply tell me that the dead is dead and I should just forget everything about her including whatever she stood for as a mother and wife.

If I try to talk some senses into her to make her understand that brooding over the dead is different from honouring and respecting the deseased, she gets really angry claiming I am comparing her with a dead person. Whatever she discovers as our way of doing things in the family she disregards it and replaces it with her own way without minding how we feel as a family or how easy or difficult it is for us to adjust.

It looks like we are the only ones tolerating and accommodating them here, I have tried with no avail to stop her from insulting the memory of my late wife. I discussed with each and everyone at home, they all wish I could perform a miracle to have them leave because no one can tolerate the mother and kids anymore, I am equally fed up myself and willing to take a break.

I have a friend who is aware of my problems with her, he told me that I am the problem here, he said it will be hard for any woman to fit into our family way of doing things and it will be difficult for us to cope with a different way of life introduced by another woman.

I hope I can get one or two advices that could help. I am quite confused

Oga, are u such a weak man?
Do u actually understand yourself?
Do u know what you are doing at all?

Well, let me ask you:
Are you looking for a woman to take care of ur family?
Do u intend getting remarried to this woman?
Did u make any promise to her?
Did u ask her to leave her house to come stay wt u?

Oga let me advise you.
Please, it is too early to bring in another woman to replace ur wife.
And now you are not just bringing in another woman, you brought in a woman that want to alter the running standard of the peaceful home.
Are you too weak to stamp ur feet on the ground and make/take decisions.
If the dead ca see, imagine how ur dead wife will be feeling right now.

The woman want a man that will help her close the hole in her heart.
She want a helping hand to raise her own children.
You may end up losing ur sanity by continuing to in-live with this woman.
You need to heal very well, think of what u want to do.
Do u want to re-marry or not.
What kind of woman do u want to get re-married to.
How do u wish to explain it to ur children.
Your 13 yr old child should be treated as an adult. Get her involve into some certain decisions.

How will ur people and ur inlaws feel wen they notice that u are already living wt another woman that is quite opposite of what ur wife used to be. How do u think they will handle the respect they have for you. Yeah....the life is ur and u have the right to live it, but it's not always like that all the times.

Please, tell this woman and her kids to go back to their house. Tell her u need more time to think about how you want to organize ur life and family.
I know u may be thinking that u are stuck due to you having some number of s$x with her.
You may not want to offend her.
Oga, it's very important you offend her now than living ur life regretting the decision u took or the one u fail to take.

If her rent has expired, you can help and pay for and let her go back to her house.
How are u even sure that her husband has totally abandoned her?
What if the man comes up tomorrow.
What time have u spent to investigate the woman?
You are bn so careless ooo.

You just lost ur wife and not ur brain.
Use ur brain well and don't lead ursfl to anoda tragedy.

I am out of here.

Dress decently especially when u are using public transport.
Stop seducing girls that have low moral standard.

You will be addressed the way u dress.

I am beginning to believe that government/Police are the ones doing this.
How do u want me to believe that Police that know that their stations are bn attacked everyday will not beef up security around each station.
The so call UGM will come in have a field day in a police station, set it ablaze and leave unidentified.
Next day, they go to anoda station ad do the same.

Ok ooo.

Lastmankc:
Wetin him mean by allowing the landlord or adult to enter demise premises?Him dey pray make him tenant die?

Chaiii....I can see that our youths are no longer reading and they are now far from understanding.
So this is what u make out of that statement?

somehow:
This must be changed.

The landlord does not have right to enter his premises once payment is made without his permission.

You are very very wrong.

The law gives him that right but he must access the house/rooms in agreement wt u.