₦airaland Forum

chaircover: Saga what in earth made you click on this link? Dont let TV catch you here ooooooooo!!!

I still think that all this sagafrontin is just an alter ego and the real saga is as we speak busy in the kitchen snapping egusi seeds and picking the stones out of beans.

I clicked on it to hear the same females justify being ostentatious with your money are the ones that will say they will not repay you by being a good cook.

But, hell, majority have proved me wrong.

JeSoul: Chai...e go hard oh... but I think I would still lean towards the latter. It is very possible to find great-looking dresses at cheap prices - especially from chinese outlets. Two of my friends bought theirs off a website that makes imitations of popular styles starting as low as ~$200 bucks and they turned out great.

As long as you are comfortable with Givenchy, YSL, Ralph Lauren tag not being on it, then I believe you.

JeSoul: Personally, I wouldn't. Solely because of the 'mental' factor, I wouldn't like to wear something someone else already wore - just my personal thing, it holds sentimental value though I may not wear it again ([b]we're playing with the idea of a 10yr anniv renewal wearing the same dress/sui[/b]t ).

I do agree on not blowing so much money on an item you'll only use once, very reasonable approach. Women should know that with a little shopping around, and taking their focus of "designer labels" you can find gorgeous dresses at prices that won't break the bank.

No 1, are you planning to eliminate eba, fufu, amala etc from your diet for the next 10 years?

No 2, if you had between the option (based on financial constraints) of leasing your perfect, absolutely stunning bridal gown or buying an "e-go-do" bridal gown, which one would you go for?

amaba: D period doesn't matter. U have 2 define what you are looking 4 in a rship/marriage. I dated my wife 4 only 4 months and i am enjoying my marriage beautifully.

If you think you have made sense here, you must be living in a lulu world.

TV01: What would you consider a threshold percentage (and as a corallary to that, why can this percentage not be reached in 3 months? what is the minimum time for the minimum percentage?)

Your correlation of increased time = increased knowledge = decreased risk is flawed. Yes there should be a minimum time, but anything after this leads to diminishing returns. To whit, if you can know someone to say 70% in one year, what added benefit would the additional 9 years bring in that regard? Plus other factors at play could possibly destabilise the relationship. You could find yourself in a perpetual "non-completion" loop here?

You miss out sincerity, purpose and mutual commonality at the start, and risk, staleness, divergence and "losing your kill" to events/someone else to end - as opposed to complete.

I have no threshold percentage as humans are complex and different, so one should focus on the percentage that meets their risk appetite. There are those that meet for 6 weeks and go and marry in Vegas. Na dem wahala. But the less the percentage the bigger the risk of failure.

That said, I am CONFIDENT that 3 months will never be sufficient as I have never met anyone in my life I felt I know sufficient well after 3 months. And that includes even those I spent everyday with in boarding school who were free with me talkless of someone I probably meet (at best) 3 times a week for 3 months and who has a goal to achieve and will act to achieve that goal at all cost.

Understanding people's "sincerity, purpose and mutual commonality" will take more than 3 months to ascertain genuinely even when they are free-spirited, talkless of when (a) they are goal-orientated, (b) the goal is critical and (c) they will be willing to pretend to achieve that goal. You WILL NOT know someone to 30% in months even if you were jobless and spent the whole day with them, talkless of 70%. In my view, If you want to know someone 70%, you might be looking 2 years.

An increased period of time can make the acting unsustainable, set ideal goals and the prolonged contact is better for assessing compatibility. The minimum should be nowhere near 3 months, that is shot-gun and fire fighting. As Reference said earlier, women would be smarter if they start earlier rather than be delusional, rude people with their head up their arse.

If there is any diminishing returns, I would not expect it to be any period less than 6 years except of-course the person is goal-orientated (ATM) who just wants to marry and ignore the risk hoping on faith. Such women (ATM - Anxious to Marry) have made a calculation that a potential imperfect marriage with opportunity for kids and high self/social valuation is far better than a life of spinsterhood with a sense of being a social reject. I am a guy, that calculation is not to my favour, I would do what is in my self-interest and would not be mugu-ed to go against/diminish my self-interest for the "fantastic" benefit of being called a "real man". Secondly, ATM women normally missed in their calculation that an imperfect marriage includes a Hellish marriage. That said, there is no diminishing return in getting to know someone.

TV01: Short vs. long is relative. it's depth that is the key. And the key to reaching that depth is understanding and approach.

The disruptive relative that makes short wrong is the goal-orientated approach that potentially may lead to misleading acts. A high length of time ensures both parties goal is reasoned and not blinded by a misplaced goal.

I would rather marry someone that (a) adores me and want to be with me (this is just figurative, as if no sane women would not feel like that ) than (b) marry someone that wants to marry. You are likely to get the former after a long acquaintance, and the latter after a short acquaintance. The older the woman is, the more likely it is the latter too. Adding short acquaintance plus older maiden just almost irrevocably compounds the possibilities in the latter umbrella (someone marrying you because they want to marry). It is not rocket science.

TV01: Not really. Agreed there is more pressure, but character should out. Like saying ones WTB will not cheat with Mukaila the smelly impoverished butcher, but will with George Clooney the movie star UN special envoy. She is either a cheat or not.

Are you having a laugh? And you would know 100% if WTB would cheat with Clooney after only 3 months of knowing her? Based on what? What she told you? The values she vocalised?

TV01: Hmmmm. However "foresnsic" you make the romance and regardless of the "investigative "nature of the dating. Whatever quantitative and qualitative risk models you apply and empirical market research based on extensive data sampling you employ. You cannot eliminate risk. Plus, plus, market for don move now? Bro' you gats to trade at some point na? All this Fantasy stock selection na spreadsheet money *)!! Whither cap growth and div income? The only way to escape the possible ups and downs is to not invest. that's not IB, that BS (building society).

I never said you can eliminate risk. But you can understand, manage and prepare for it just like banks and investment firms do. You will be a lunatic to give your money to a bank/investment firm that says it would not do its upmost best to manage risk over one that actively does.

TV01: On that same basis there are those who have testified on this thread to long blissful marriages. Nuff' said. Please refer us to testimonies of those who courted for 10+ years. And correlate the increased successful and sweetness.

What you are likely to find is an insufficient population to carry out a proper study, 'cos it is rare unless you start dating pre-adulthood. And the sample you do obtain is unlikely to isolate length as an advantage per se.

No 1, you must be Baba Sala reincarnated if you believe you have seen anyone here testify to long blissful marriages. If you regard, 3 years of marriage as long blissful marriage, count me the fck out. Read up on 7 year itch. Google even has predictive text as you type it. After that look at how many marriages fail after 20 years.

No 2, feel free to believe someone coming here and raving about successful, lovely, happy and blissful marriage but I am Sagamite from Soyindo in Sagamu. The omni-intelligent one specially created with a special brain by Baba God (Olugbala, Olorun Oba), I don't fall for such. Critical analysis and thinking is my forte. I have already given you example of people that say such: https://www.nairaland.com/958447/many-married-men-unhappy/7#11087793

TV01: Again, your arguement is somewhat lop-sided. Is age not a factor for men? Are all women devoid of maturity. Is honesty the sole preserve of males? Don't hate on all women because of the hearts of some, even if that is most. I have my 95 percenters rule, which I've previously mentioned. I didn't let that deter me as I only wanted the one. Just honed my skills and improved my game accordingly. Man down. Man up!

That is like asking me if reproduction limitations is not a factor for men like it is for women?

Or are men not also into shoes and matching bags like women?

Or are men also not into fairytale wedding days like women?

Those are ridiculous arguments not worth my commenting on.

tunapawizzy: So? We should go and jump inside red sea? Hissssss nonsense

Why don't you shut up if you have nothing sensible to say?

They forced your dumb arse to visit NL or comment on it?

[quote author=28octo ]am actually looking at d west. Its clear they are the number one 'amebor' in the world that doesnt mind their biz. Lets dem take over d wahala jor[/quote]Kai! Make una see illiterate o.

Mooron, it is it's, don't and let.

You just keep on shooting.

sadyeek: I hope you find peace.

Watch what you say and stop creating divisions through ignorance, and hopefully there would be a chance for more peace on this planet.

sadyeek: Seriously? ? More with the insults?
Football I believed to be a sport, meant to bring people together and have fun. Where guys can come say what they feel and everybody laughs over it.
You bring up KD n jos! How is this related to that? I made a comment, in a society where everybody has the right to speech, but when I noticed you were offended I apologized even though I didn't really need to, just to give peace a chance. For someone who claims to be intelligent, you should have coded that, your behaviour now is more like the boko bois causing trouble all over. Everybody pleading with them to give peace a chance but due to their ignorance, selfishness, stupidity, ego amongst many other reasons they keep causing trouble.
I see why you are so hostile to me, but I will not and never apologize for being who and what I am, rather I will pray that Allah (swt) guide us right, both the ignorant ones amongst us and strenghten the faithful ones amongst us.

Explain to me how throwing lame accusations of racism is your sense of bringing people together and having fun?

How did Allah guide you right on that?

sadyeek: Look dude, don't take it too far now? I am tryn to lay off so to keep the peace but ur taking advantage of that to increase your insult! I wouldn't insult a human being because of football, if that's where you want it to head. Just respect your self and lay off on the insult!

Next time watch your statement and stop feuling ignorant schisms between races. It is partly because of unreasoned thinking & utterances like yours that we have this widely instilled "Us vs Them" mentalities and troubles around the world.

Intelligent people like me want to live in a decent world with like minds of any background and I get annoyed when people like you spoil it and make it more dangerous. We are seeing the results in places like Kaduna, Jos etc, it did just not happen overnight. Ignorant thinking and statements like yours seasoned and feuled it for years.

Think, then talk, and you will have no problem with me.

Come on England!

Come on England!

kingoflag: Don't take this as me being condescending, but, How old are you?

The first time I heard her moronic arguments where she argued that morbidly obese women (like herself) have equal chance of dating as slim women, saying all that is stopping them is confidence, I too first thought she was a child. I was going soft on her because I thought she was probably a 16 year old child.

https://www.nairaland.com/551893/family-uk-channel-4-nigerian/4#7523247

Small Quote: I have no option but to not be too hard on her because after reading a lot of her passionate jejune mispoints and style of debate, I am strongly of the belief she is a kid in her teenage years with significant weight and is in full denial because she is using a denial-mechanism as a defensive shield that upholds her exterior confidence. I can't vouch for the interior one.

She is not a child, she even claims that she has finished university and is a UK-trained medical doctor. That is obviously a lie as she is nowhere intelligent enough to even do a Nursing course in the UK, talkless of being a doctor.

She is just an extremely stewpid, uneducated person that likes arguing against logic and science. She is so daft! They don't come more daft than her, and I honestly believe she is not totally mentally balanced. She is not a doctor, she needs a doctor.

sadyeek: Funny enough, am not angry! I definately not insult u back.
Obviously, you were offended by my comments, I apologize..
I hope you find peace, brother! Seek some anger mangement programme.

Go and seek how to improve your brain.

Now you know those beer-parlour conversations are not the bedrock of intelligensia confab as you initially thought.

[quote author=tpia@]Too many deviants trying to take over the thread, as always.


@sagamite

Stop following me around, thanks.

And btw, your problems with religion are your own, ok?


Sort yourself out because nobody is going to do it for you.

Lastly, your habit of constantly cursing has followed you into old age. I see. You dont know yet say na your type dem dey call old papa for thread?[/quote]Are you reetarded?

Where did I follow you around?

Is that just an impetuous response when you can't defend your religious hypocrisy?

queensmith: It's a perversion, #thatisall.

You are a person!

You said:

queensmith: Sex[b]u[/b]al perversion is when someones interests deviate from societal norms or is considered unacceptable.

But yet you are pro-homosexuality.

What did I tell you about getting an education and stopping the use of hoodrat thinking, you morbidly obese foool?

Michky: Am guaranteein u dat 1 day, u'l look back @ dis posts of urs & wish u neva ran ur mouth like u'v just done. Were u harrasd as a child by a pervert or what? Y r u so hell-bent on dis pervert mata. Look, u cant eva compare intimacy btw 50-30years old man-woman and dat of 30-10years old man-girl. 4rm all indicatns dey r very different situatns. D 1st is btw 2 adults while d oda is btw an adult and a child. Ok? Please tink wel next tym b4 postin. D fact dat u tink upsyd-down doesnt mean oda ladies shd tink lyk u. 5years older=fatherly figure?! U definately nd help. GOD!!

She is a professional person!

Tgirl4real: Eeehhh! Sagamite no go kill person with his qualitative, quatitative and risk analysis grammer. Na wa o, dat girl don enter am.

I can only hope TV01 will not respond. If not, we are in for long epistles.

The guy wanted to use financial marketism to shakara me into submission ni na. I had to show-off and give my own come-back noni.

moHot: What if its love? But seriously should there be an age limit to this man/woman thing? Olu jacobs is 20 years older than Joke silver , Mathew s 10 years older than Omotola... Do we call these perversion too SMH

Only a cretinous mooron like queensmith calls people like that perverts.

But the same person is pro-gay. She does not see that as perversion but a man being attracted to a women for her beauty over women with less beauty is perversion.

Hoodrat, lack of education reasoning.

[quote author=tpia@]say you're 28, someone 6 years older will be 34.

in what way is he an "older man" in the context you're implying?

the op is referring to men in the "sugar daddy" age range- namely 50- 60 and above.

a girl of 18 dating a 28 year old man doesnt qualify him for that title even though the age difference is 10 years. He's still a young guy.

even ten years older than you @ 38 still doesnt quantify the man as an old fuddy duddy.

people should get over themselves.

personally, i've seen mature younger men and irresponsible older men, so all these things are relative, like i've pointed out times without number. But people should continue deceiving themselves.[/quote]Later or another time, you would be loquaciously openning your mouth to proclaim that your religion is everything.

There is no part of the bible that gives an age gap limit to marriage.

Moreover, the bible says Ruth at the age of about 40 married Boaz of the age of about 80 with the blessing of God. Ruth and Boaz are ancestors of Baba Jesu o!

Mary, the mother of Jesus (MAMA Jesu), was about 14 when she married Joseph (BABA Jesu) who was in his early 30s. And God put the special one is such a "wrong" union?

Why don't you practice or support the practice of what your fairy-tail novel preaches? I thought it was everything?

queensmith: I was reading an article about this today, some women are prostituting themselves legally and telling me nonsense. http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/sugar-daddies-cover-debts-sugar-baby-dates/story?id=16623859#.T-SY9hfx0UU

Older men seek younger women because they are perverted, younger women respond to these perversions (mostly) for monetary benefits. #thatisall

The ghetto, uneducated cretin opens her mouth again!

[quote author=Busy_body]With intuition by the bucketload plus plenty of sincerity and integrity, It shouldn't matter, and could be a matter of weeks.[/quote]Don't think by coming on this thread I am going to propose and marry you. You are just my baby-mama in that your area code. I can't marry you all legally in the UK.

Tgirl4real: Ok. The Faith I listed among d 3 things is salvation. We must share the same beliefs.

Also, 500 or 5M, it's all the same to me as long as I can trust the person.

Come off it!

TV01: Saga,

I see you snuck in here after I left to preach your life by logic and not by intuition, your living by intelligence and not discernment religion .

If you spend 100 years with someone, you still won't know everything about them. Are you their maker? Can you know every detail of their make-up, or every aspect of their persona? Can you legislate for every influence or for enviromental factors?

Change is is also inevitable and in a lot of instances unpredictable. He said to me, he said "there are some things I wish I had known before marriage, but you know, there are some things you cannot know until you are married". You cannot replicate the crucible of marriage and all that a lifetime together may bring. Not by mere observation, no matter how long. Not even by co-habiting

You poo poo adding faith to the mix, but what is your guarantee? You reduce it to risk elimination, you can't even use logic to legislate for known risk sef, let alone unknown risk. Your obsession with pre-nups and contractual risk mitigation is simply odd. And why monetise it all the time? If someone can be trusted with a fiver, they can be trusted with £5m. Maybe you should look inward?

Reducing it to an algorithim may well work, but I can see that approach calculating out all the joy, expectation and hope. Plus it seems it requires an inordinate amount of time to apply? With all the brainboxes and systems in the world in the industry, stock market pro's will still disclaim any product with "past returns are no indicator of future performance". Why? because there is sentiment and emotion involved and no one has full knowledge.

People are testifying what worked for them and you sneer? At least prove your own pudding. Put your thesis into practice and come and tell. I'll diarise to visit this thread 10 years hence !

I am not alone in testifying that for mature, honest (and God-fearing) individuals a suitable courtship leading to a happy marriage can be undertaken in a few months. You don't have to agree and I am in no way being dogmatic. To each his own, but why challenge what others are living, especially with nothing of your own to show.

What if you want male children, but only have females, what if - God forbid - a terrible illness stikes? Is it intelligence that removes the risk or deals with it?

Sir get real. And erm...get married. Please. NL awaits.

Kindest
TV

No 1, there is no place I said you can know anyone 100%.

No 2, you should realise the longer you know someone, the better you would know them. So you should know even though long term relationships do not eliminate risks, it reduces it better than short term ones.

No 3, how does your short relationship even generatte sufficient known risks, talkless of legislating for it and unknown risks? This is like a Nigerian average joe laughing at a Nigerian Olympic athlete for not being able to beat Usain Bolt, when he himself cannot run 100m in 40s. Short courtship is inferior to long ones when it comes to identifying and dealing with risks.

No 4, "If someone can be trusted with a fiver, they can be trusted with £5m". Don't be silly! Ridiculous statement.

No 5, "past returns are no indicator of future performance"? Who used past returns? I am using current returns, current assets and relative competitive position with strong application of quantitative risk analysis, sensitivity analysis, scenario planning and asset depreciation assessment to evaluate likely future asset valuation. Your faith based short relationship approach can not even do all that because you have very limited knowledge of the asset, with majority of that knowledge being what the seller (who would gain) has told you is the bulk of your due diligence. That is why they have a Chinese Wall in investment banks and firms used independent assessors/valuators vigorously.

No 6, if someone saying "we courted for 2 month and have been married for 1 year without a problem, so that is evidence it does not matter" is the type of testimony you want me to take seriously at my intellectual level, you must be havin a laff! Let them come and tell me about their marriage in 15 years time.

No 7, "I am not alone in testifying that for mature, honest (and God-fearing) individuals a suitable courtship leading to a happy marriage". RUBBISH! What you should be reading between the line here is that it is a function of a woman's age that leads to short courtship, not maturity or honesty, as I have told you before. ATM women are not about maturity, they are about resignation to fate, compromise and self-interest.

No 8, I would rather use my intellect anyday than rely on some medieval fairytales called religion.

Miss EZ: Haha @ sagamite, very good info. I like how you went all indepth with food GI's and such. You think say naija people send all that info? Just tell them how it translates into weightloss for them, thats all they want to hear. Although i agree you can lose weight without exercise, the truth is you are going to get there faster with exercise and you also dont get a nice, toned body with diet alone. You have to push some metal and a good doe of cardio too. Tell babes to lift weights, dem go run cos they think it will make them bulky which isnt necessarily true.

@ OP you have some good info here on weightloss, the rest is up to you

She gave me no option when she said she did not want to exercise, I had to go deep.

Otherwise it would have been eat less, eat healthy, reduce calories consumed and exercise a lot.

[quote author=Ileke-IdI]Nice, Sagamite. I like my biking and gymming, the low calories thing does not work for me. Who counts their calories?

I heard that the meal every 3-hrs is a myth, how true? [/quote]If you wait quite long between meals, you mind and body might go into a mode of telling you to go for highly calorific and a lot of food because it is thinking of storing it.

If you eat quite frequently, you body might not go into such a panic mode and you would not be craving for highly calorific food.

The difference in weight gain between the two, and the frequency to eat for the second, I don't know about.

sadyeek: [size=16pt]what a pity! Insulting people because of their own views on football! Smh

He plays as a striker, most manU strikers are english with the support to their press! It would be hard to oust them and get a first team football.

Ronney
Whelback
Young
[/size]

You are a person!

You are a bloody cretin!

Look at my signature.

So where was the support of the press that stopped C. Ronaldo? Where was the press that stopped Van Nisterooy, Solskjaer, Yorke, Saha, Tevez etc while Owen and Sherringham were sitting on the bench?

So the press, in your cretinous world, only focus on Man U strikers that is why their strikers now are mostly English?

Otherwise how come the press have not stopped Drogba, Henry, Van Persie, Torres etc from being selected over English ones in their respective clubs?

Bloody foool! A cretinous product of our dilapidated education system that churns out utter moorons with zero analytical reasoning.

And this foool would have a right to vote! Fck Democracy!

Tgirl4real: Actually, I will be stupid to do dat.

By Faith up there, do u mean fate?



Actually, I can. I do crazy things.

No, I meant faith. Having belief that you should just jump in, that the other person (based on your insufficient and unreliable assessment and on how good you are to them) would be fine. Basically wishful thinking.

Yeah right! Believe me, you will do safe things with £5m, not crazy things. This is not £500 we are talking about.

Tgirl4real: Ouch! That hurts.

I see your point. But age should be considered sha. Dere's a certain age u reach where u don't bother with unserious guys. Like when I clocked 28, I told myself that tops is a year and datz courtship + marriage preparation. The minimum is 6 months.

That is understandable. It is evolutionary so I don't condemn it.

When a woman reaches 35 and is not married, she would stop saying she wants only a 6ft 4 guy with 6 packs, his own mansion, very funny, nice dresser, faultless eyes, famous and that worships the floor she walks on.

6ft 4 with a job and that likes her would be heaven at that age.

Tgirl4real: I wanna dream I can covert u

Ehn.

Sings: Dream on, dreamer, life is just a race . . . . [Brand New Heavies]

Tgirl4real: Was referring to d link u posted here about g/friend and wife material.

Yeah, I just saw it. For some reason, despite already being on the thread, it did not come up on my followed list.

Tgirl4real: Lol. U are funny.

A pass will be something like dis:

1. 8/10
2. 7/10
3. 7/10

Total : 22

Yep!

Tgirl4real: Me no like men wey too dey calculate o ;P

You are married, so what you like does not matter to me.

Tgirl4real: Btw, I see more emphasis on beauty and sexiness.

And so?

You want a whole ASHAWO like me to stop looking at all the fine fine women on earth and you think I should not place emphasis on beauty and sexiness for the one that would put me in life imprisonment?

Reference: I know time isn't a popular thing with ladies but that glich in the software produces a proportionately higher dissatisfaction within that gender in cases where relationships are rushed. The key is starting out early and coming to terms more quickly. But once again the software glich won't permit that. Men on the other hand practice relationships years before they get into any and years before they are ready to settle down so they know what to expect and have built the necessary internal infrastructure to make them stable once in it. Once again its the time factor.

So fcking well said again.

You most likely used your pretty youth to be rude to men and/or then chase after bad boys, and when you time is ticking and the looks are fading you want to put a shot-gun on a man's head to come and take what is left.

Tgirl4real: That is not in the bible sagamite.

And truly, it's only the grace of God that sustains a marrriage. If you like, calculate from here to jupiter.

Btw, I commented on ur analysis on the other thread.

Ah, pele! I no dey read the book o. I just hear such phrases from delusional bible-thompers that dream they can convert me.

Which other thread?

Tgirl4real: U don't need donkey years to judge a good character/qualities as u put it. Once u know d qualities u want and the things u can't compromise, it's easy to spot.

For me its faith, honesty and selflessness. Once I'm convinced about those 3 area, the rest are things we can work out. If I'm not certain about one area, then I need a longer tym. D sad thing is, d longer u spend d more you compromise.

For bonding, I think if u spend quality time together in the short space u met, u will bond well except there is no attraction.

You might not need donkey years but you do need a good length of time to make sure you are not basing your life decision and risk purely on faith.

I am sure you would not place £5m of your own money with someone you have known and hanged out with for 3 months and you feel you can trust, over placing it with someone you have known and hanged out with for 10 years and feel you can trust.

You obviously need a lot of time to observe, know and test someones' faith, honesty and selflessness. That I doubt can usually be reasonably done in 3 months. Not even if you are a psychologist, talkless of being a layman. More so if the person is willing to pretend to achieve an aim (e.g. an ATM woman).

As per the longer you wait you have to compromise: true! That mainly applies to women and why we see a lot of rushed marriages. That is just pragmatism and expediency, not idealism.

If time was not an issue for most wwomen, it would do them good to date for a decently long time before putting a ring on it.

As per bonding, you will bond better with someone over 4 years than you would over 3 months. So, as I said, the longer the better on average.

P.S: ATM means Anxious to Marry.

Reference: Yes, the length of time is important however the content is the objective and matters more. In the sense that an intending couple may get engaged and stay aloof or in deceit however even against the most solid facades time is a good wearing agent. There is a minimum practical time any structure can be built and that includes relationships.

Very well said in every word you put there.

Otses: Long or short courtship does not determine if a marriage will work. Some people say that when you get married after a short time to somebody then you should get ready for surprises. But believe me, no mater how long courtship is, someone who is hiding his or her character will still do. Its just the grace of God, and you should study each other to the best of your ability, because there is bound to always be surprises no mater how long of short you court.

According to your God, I am assuming it is that one in the Bible: God help those that help themselves.

Instead of passing all responsibility on his grace, do some grace yourself. The longer you know someone, the more likely you would be able to discover what they are hiding. It is far less easy to be acting for years than it is to be in months.

So don't postulate there is no difference in people that date long and people that date short. The former are more likely to reduce the risk, even if some might still exist. That is based on the assumption, that both former and latter put in the same efforts. If both parties put in minimal effort, the longer ones are still better off. If both parties put in a lot of effort, the longer ones are still better off.

Kenyata: It doesn't matter. For me, we courted for 3 months, got married and have been living together for 5 years now. We have two children together, a boy and a girl.

This is your proof it does not matter?