₦airaland Forum

I am very understanding.I always try to put myself in the other persons shoes.
A lot of people love me for this , a few try to abuse it(thats why I am a lot harder now)

Please guys , check all the people you know both guys and girls and try to just make a guess.
What percentage of these people who are couples do you think are in love or are just dating because they need some company or sex or are in the relationship for all sorts of reasons.
I used to have a very strict principle. I would never tell a girl I love you just because I want to go out with you ,unless I felt I did .If you no like you fit waka!
People go about saying I love you like you say good morning.
This is a major reason why people in "LOVE" go about sleeping with other people.You don't know what LOVE means.

When I first read the story I felt very sad because it said this hard working nurse had lost her hard earned money.
Just today my brother was complaining about Nigerian journalists and the sort of foolish things they write,some seem not to have completed secondary school.

Please could some one try to find out how this woman earned this amount in Nigeria while she lives in the US.
So we know we are not sympathising with a drug dealer or some other illegal business person.
One of the king(queen)pins of the Texas medicare fraud saga was a female nurse from my state.

The moral of this long story is [b]Don't make decisions when you're mad[b]. As in never make decisions when you are not in a stable frame of mind.
1. Decision to have sex in the heat of the moment.
2.Decision to tell the guy and later having to claim it was a lie or joke.
Whenever you find yourself in a difficult situation slow down,take your time and if necessary shut every one out.
It helps to have good advice from people who will not judge or blame you like Busta and another lady did , unlike some others at the begining of this thread.Unfortunately there are a lot of people on this forum who based on their views and advice on issues like this seem to live on the moon.

There is some thing called crime of passion.
Thats like when some one walks into a room and finds their partner naked with another person and attacks them with a weapon. This attacker may have never had a violent history,if you think about it like this you will see that these things can happen without being reasonable.
All the answers here are by people in a reasonable state of mind.

@Acidrop. Just looked up that pidgin stuff again, still like I said,started in China not Japan. Actually listened to a languge professor talk about it the first time.Try wikipedia ,you'll get more links there.
Cheers

Fynewaka , you be Howadian. I see that Inspe gloriae Dei.

No, she's due in on the 5 june.

I personally feel people ,not only women who are fond of creating scenes or drama have serious psychological issues.
These have been studied and a lot written about it.
It most often comes from a deep seated feeling of inferiority or bad experiences in the past for which they over compensate

an example is people of small stature or bullies.they are showing they are not to be messed with.If you are confident you can deal with people without tantrums.

@oge4real. I sincerely hope in 2007 people are still not having sex without protection.
@dollyp1cute, you don't seem to get the question.
Its not about cheating being good or bad .Cheating always has consequences when you find out.The question is do you want to find out and why.
About men and sex,just believe .It is ego thing for most guys,if their women has cheated on them they start feeling inadequate and wonder what he has and they don't.
I strongly believe from my experience women tend to get emotionally attached from sex .I am a man and have a lot friends who I see sleeping around ,absolutely no strings.
On the average how many boyfriend /girlfriend relationship do you think is based on love, not convenience or lust.
I would say like 30%

@Omogenaija Smoking is an addiction so its a difficult habit to stop.I am happy you have given a real life experience,different from mine though cos your boyfriend smokes in your presence.I never used to smoke with non smokers and when it is not me smoking,don't like others smoke.
I said it earlier in this thread when I was smoking I never knew any woman that would leave a guy because she found out he smokes.They would rather try to get you to stop ,at least in their presence.
I can understand saying no if you knew before dating the guy he smokes ,but after, e hard small.

I believe there is usually an ulterior motive for this.The man most probably has an ego problem and wants an excuse to control his wife and make her totally dependent.I know in the west its very difficult for two working parents to supervise the kids properly,but it can be done.
Both my parents got to the top of their professions and I did not suffer from it in any way, rather I am proud of the fact.

@Luxoire I appreciate it when people are honest and speak their minds .I thought I would be attacked for my earlier posts on this thread.
I am not that old but I have seen enough to make me wonder if some people here live in the same planet I have lived in.
Fact. As you said I found men can have sex without getting emotionally involved .Some ,but a lot fewer women can do it.
If a woman is in love she is very unlikely to cheat on her man. A guy can be in love but get involved in the kind of scenario you brought up.
My take is that if you want to find out then be ready for the consequences ,otherwise if it is not in your face and you are not committed to an exclusive relationship as husband and wife,do not go digging as you may not like what you find.

@Dezi, Read through the post again so u understand.
Also note Luxoire is a female.

Hand=and
House= ous
Fifty=pifty
Father=pazer
Milk= Milik
Jeans= Jims

@Sophienwa, read my earlier posts on this thread.
As for the story,hypocrisy and pretending are almost the same thing,thats what i was trying to show.
I said this is not gist,last July I was not told ,I was on the street.I don't know where you live but robbers commonly operate for hours not minutes in Nigeria.
I don't do jokes on a serious thread.

When I was dating I truly believed that those who expect a 100% exclusive relationship as boyfriends or girl friends are jokers.
I believed as far as you are not married you are a free agent.
I was never into that jealousy thing and as far as a babe did not disrespect me by sleeping around anyhow or with people I know, as far as she was there for me and was loving , fun to be with. I no send what you do behind my back.
The only time I ever bothered was when I knew I was truly in love ,then the jealousy bit became uncontrollable.
If I found out a girl slept(with another guy) I would calmly bring it up one day, and from that day I would have the advantage in the relationship.For one the babe has lost policing rights on me and would always be confused what would happen next so a charm offensive to win forgiveness would start.
You may wonder why I would have such a cynical view. EXPERIENCE.
I always had a lot of female friends in University who were close to me.I got know that most of them almost always were dating more than one person for different reasons.One is the guy for a good sex,another gives the cash,another mister funny guy to make them feel good etc.
Also if they live in Lagos and school in Abuja, one guy in school ,another in Lagos.
So I made up my mind it was a total waste of time bothering about what you can't see.
Before the ladies will kill me let me say the[b] guys are worse than this.[/b]
Till this day I do not know any guy who is single that has only one woman.Even many of the married ones.
So if some one is not your wife or husband,no kill yourself.Them go always do and swear it can never happen.

It is quite difficult to get credit as a private individual (loans ,hire purchase etc). Don't blame the banks, they have a duty to protect their money which is depositors and shareholder funds.
The real problem is lack of an identity database in Nigeria.I could easily become Emeka ,Suleman or Ayo if I want to.Until there is a national identity scheme,social security no. or something of the sort ,lenders will only lend to individuals who work in places where they believe they borrowers would not run away.
@ Poster I feel you, it is often easier to pay for expensive things like houses and cars in instalments,thats the norm in most developed countries.