₦airaland Forum

nkwuocha:
True that!
But let these teach you a bitter lesson.Be somebody different this time around.Guide your heart and use "reason''first.Your Target is a good husband I guess?Let that be your goal and not this lovey dovey that landed you in this trouble in the first place.Have a nice day.

Mmadu n'akari ihe.I Kari go nke nwoke g'eji ije love agwa ru gi ball.

Sure.. thanks.

sacramento1212:
Wow! You are a matured lady and very ripe. Not withstanding, ignore the age factor and be focused. Commit everything to God in prayers and i believe you will smile soon. That guy didn't do well at all. But it's well sandra

Thanks dear.

nkwuocha:
But your ex tells you he loves you?Why then did he abandoned you for someone else?And yes!you can leave someone you love.Go and love a violent man ,ofu ugbochi o jiri anya osi kugbuogi.E na lovu!
All these things you explained up there,wait for a man to love you first same way,until then love yourself unconditionally.Your role is to be submissive,leave the Loving for the man.

Well we can't all be thesame..

sacramento1212:
Early 20's, Mid 20's, Late 20's, early 30's or Mid 30's, which of them?

Early 30's

Rickjordan:
Sorry dear,I can feel your pain....You have to move on....(.Everything happen for a reason,people change like the seasons...)its either he is showing u fake love or someone controlled by the family(weakman) Every disappointment is a blessing...Move on gal

Thanks dear.

BornagainThief:
how old are you?

Old enough.

nkwuocha:
Define"love"?

When you love someone you can never leave him nomatter what he faces in life but when you don't love the person you married and things get bad for him.. hatred comes in..nagging and cheating becomes a normal thing for you but for someone you love,you would be the one looking for ways to help him out of the problem he might be facing and always consoling him instead of nagging and adding to his problems.

LordKO:
@OP

Put yourself together, forgive him and move on with your life. You'll find love again. Actually, the fact that he jilted you neither automatically mean that you are not good nor that he's evil. One's real life journey start(s) at the point of achieving self-realization. . . His stated reason of jettisoning you notwithstanding. Maybe he has achieved self-realization and realized that both of you cannot flourish together as husband and wife.

Ethical disparities aren't to be joke with, since they can mar relationship of people who're biologically and genetically related and connected, then you better imagine than experience firsthand what they can do a couple (husband and wife) - this he might have observed, while you didn't. Is better to be late than to be late.

I forgave him even before he apologized.im not God so I can decide how things should go.

JjBankys:
Maybe he's not the right man for you , maybe someone better than him will come your way, you can't tell.

Of course my future husband will surely be better.

zyzxx:
am sorry about that statement. just move on, the family stuff is just a game card, if he wants to marry you nothing can stop him... God will return all your sacrifice of love to the relationship back to you amen

It's ok.. thanks.

Uglymugg:
Do you need someone to talk to? I can't imagine the pain you must be feeling now.

I appreciate your concern.

JjBankys:
Maybe he's not the right man for you , maybe someone better than him will come your way, you can't tell.

Sure.

nkwuocha:
Like I said "true love is a farce". Marriage is not about love trust me! Of course you won't marry someone you hate.For as long as there's an attraction,in terms of the person's good character, please marry.Dont wait for love,you go old.Again,you won't cheat.Several people who claimed to love are the ones that cheats a lot.

A sister of mine dumped her wealthy fiance she "trulu" loved .Why? Because he is a nut case.She is dating someone she "likes" but with a better character.

Marriage is built on character and companionship.

You have a case but you excluded something..to me it's.. character,companionship and love.

Randy100:
I am not here to pamper you. Truth is bitter, swallow it.

Ok..thanks.

nkwuocha:
In the game of marriage,don't make this mistake.Marry someone who loves you more than you do for him.The Bible encourage men to love their wives and women to he submissive.Dont go looking for "true love" it's a farce and it hurts badly.Look for a guy you can press his "mumu" button and marry.You will have rest of mind.

Hmmmm.. really?and do you think this wouldn't attract cheating?I want to get married to a man I love so nothing outside would ever move me..I have never been married and I don't know how it works but this is my wish..though I hear some people say they just want to get married and start enjoying their lives by sleeping with other men which I feel is not normal.

nkwuocha:
Sorry Nne,but you must count your blessings and name them one by one.I bet you're a lovely lady....But you must realize that many disappointments such as these may be divinely motivated.Im happy even though you're hurt,you wished him well.

Now listen carefully,your own is around the corner.When it happens,you will be glad for this disappointments.In life,things sometimes happen so we can't be found wanting or unfortunate.

True story told by a man of God.
A lady came crying like you're that her fiance abandoned her for another woman he got pregnant to.She was inconsolable.It was so bad that she lost so much weight.Her parents and loved ones tried to help console her.She moved on....in pains.

She woke up one day to receive a call from an acquaintance that is she aware that her ex is dead?He died with the pregnant new wife in their way back to Lagos after the ceremony.He was the one driving.Now I ask,if you're the lady here in question,what would have been your thoughts?

Nke a abughi nke gi.Oge nke gi n'abia.

You are right..I believe that one day I'm going to look back to all that happened and thank God it went the way it went..I wish well because if I don't I might not have anything good come my way.thanks for your encouragement.

BornagainThief:
sad .The kingdom of God suffers violence and only the violent take it by force

Lol..what does that mean?

highpriestess:
You will bounce back better.
I can assure you

Amen.

Randy100:
He didn't marry you because you are worthless to him and he plays the family card to deceive you. Stop lamenting and move on.

I have decided never to exchange words with anyone this year nomatter how pushed I am..

highpriestess:
Some men are evil.
They would keep you just to waste your time.
Stupid m

It was really terrible..I became used to sleeping pills before I could sleep but it's all in the past now.

N0favors:
Are you even fine sef?

No.

bigpicture001:
Sandra..its a touching price you wrote there. On behalf of all we men that hurt really deserving gfs.i say " sorry dear". God will be with you dear nd giv u a better person. Just be strong nd move on. He is not the only gud man around. The next will shock you with love overflow

Thanks alot dear.

mrblessed:
Move on; don't start comparing notes. I guess you are already using him as standard of evaluation even though him didn't turn out to be what you expected. You really have to outline what this harsh experience has taught you.That is the best way you can profit from it. Since you still have feelings for him, I will advise you cut off completely all channels of communication.

I still remember him but I can never have anything to do with him again that's why I can never see him again.thanks.

sacramento1212:
Unfortunately, what you built with him never never stood the test of time and that's a closed chapter. Don't pick his calls or respond to any messages from him to enable you easily heal and move on. Take your time, don't just jump into another relationship even if it's marriage proposals to avoid making another mistake.

With time, the right man will show up. Good luck

Thanks.

sacramento1212:
Okay, then he broke your heart. Or may be he never loved you enough to sacrifice to end up with you. Sorry about that all the same, i will advise you move on with your life. Cut ties completely with him to enable you focus. In your next relationship, be more careful as disappointment such as this makes one wiser and strong.

It has actually made me wiser and no I can never see him again unless we run into each other.

mrblessed:
His call must have brought back pleasant memories you are struggling to suppress and disown.Tell me the truth, did his call made you lovesick? Nevertheless, you have to be positive and optimistic about what the future holds for you. And you can bet it is bright and splendid. As it were at the moment, rising above this disappointment will serve as a litmus test of your strength of character.

In life there is always that one person you love so dearly..yes his call did bring back memories but I spoke with him like a normal friend and told him i had forgiven him..I have gotten some marriage proposals after him but I want to be with someone I truly love so I will be able to forget him completely.

sacramento1212:
And how's my comment judgemental? I only asked you a question. You got involved in a relationship and what i expect anyone to do while at it is to discuss the present and future except you never had that in mind because so many out there only get involved in relationships for the fun of it. So if that was the case in yours, then i see no reason why you should be heartbroken.

Before you even start sacrificing a lot for a man, ensure you anticipate the future with him.

I asked before it all started and he said he was old enough to handle his affairs and no one tells him what to do..being the breadwinner of the family I believed.

N0favors:
If you’re pretty, come be my baby mama. I’m recruiting

No thanks..I'm not looking for a baby daddy.

mrblessed:
It is obvious both of you are Igbo. What might have stopped him from marrying you despite the amount of efforts and sacrifices you made to keep your relationship afloat? That is, if your account of what transpired is true. Maybe he never loved you enough to challenge his people and their stereotypes. Maybe he was docile and indecisive; unable to stick to his opinion even when such opinion will earn him isolation.

It is unnecessary bellyaching when he has forgotten about you and the memories you once had and cherished. Move on, you have a whole lot ahead of you. Dwelling on the past will rob you the dividend of the present.

It has actually robbed me alot.he actually called me yesterday apologizing that's why I made this post.

sacramento1212:
When you were involved in the relationship, didn't you know their people don't marry from your side? Or you never thought of the future while in the relationship?

I have come to understand Nigerians better now..they are always judgmental so I take your comment as one of those.

makydebbie:
It doesn't make sense except you're looking for pity party. That's why I made that comment.
But feel free.

What doesn't make sense? writing on nairaland?

makydebbie:
Is he a nairalander..?
If not then how will he get this goodbye message.

I guess all the messages that has ever been written here were all written to nairalanders?