₦airaland Forum

My dear you can never be too sure..wait until you have had sex many times but some times a guy might decide to stay with you for years even when he is not serious just because you don't disturb him financially or because the sex is good.all the things he told you might be true or made up..he might be a smooth player ..he might be married and living with his wife or his family are abroad but he just wants to keep a relationship here..he might also be a good guy who is trying to be careful when it comes to marriage..you also need to calm down because you sound too desparet for someone your age..give him gifts but make sure what he gives you is more than what you give him..don't go and borrow him unless he is your husband,if you must borrow let it be very little and if he returns it you know that he actually have that principles you talked about.. respect him but don't let him feel like a God or if he leaves you,you will die..
Tell him you are not desperate for marriage because you because as a woman people will appreciate you once in a while but that you can not be in a relationship for 6 months without seeing something serious that you will just walk away..do not just follow a guy blindly like that for years..do not sound desperate but tell him you have time limit in a relationship..you are still very younger but giving this two years of your life will be very
risky.

ngoziwrites:
So, I met this great guy online. After 2 weeks, we met in person and everything was perfect.

It's almost 2 months since we have been together.

He asked me out while we were together and I gladly said yes. (I have met a lot of players�). So while we were together, a discussion popped up and he said he can't discuss anything related to marriage until after 6 months. I pretended not to hear.


I don't know his financial capacity but I know he is doing okay. He controls the family business. They sell trucks, trailers and all. He is also a landlord in one of his father's houses at Festac. We stayed at a hotel. 25k per night. He paid for 2 night and I paid for one night. But during these times, we went to his house.

He said he didn't want me to come to see his place because it's the first time. And he said the house is very hot too.


Our communication is great but he doesn't look like he wants marriage soon. He has said things like marriage is hard work. He has also said in 10 years time, people will hardly be getting married.

Then one night, we were talking and he said I "see my wife as my responsibility"
I will take care of her and of cos, I am okay but I will still be very very rich, so I can't bring in any woman to suffer now" .. That's what I am sure I heard but I was scared to ask him to explain further or repeat himself.

He is actually okay, he has two cars but importantly, he has sense and he is very hard-working. But he is very principled and we have actually had several instances where he doesn't pick my calls at night. It happens often but I am starting to trust him, because sometimes I call by 5am and he picks and says he slept off. Sometimes we would be chatting on WhatsApp and after I call him 20 minutes later, he won't respond. He is not married!

So, I currently earn 450k monthly and I have been able to save something meaningful, so I can start a good business before getting married or after. I haven't stated because I don't know which one yet. I started a restaurant business when I was 23 but it failed.

If I ask him and he says 1 year, of course, I can wait. I will be 26 years next year April.

We will seeing for the 2nd time next week. I plan to ask him when he sees himself getting married but I am scared and the way he carries himself makes me reluctant to ask such.

About two weeks ago, I wanted to even surprise him with gifts. I asked for his account number and office/home address. (He picked me up the last time I traveled to see him, so I don't know the address". Well, he didn't give me these details. He said when it's time I will have them.


Two days ago, he said a friend's younger brother is getting married. He laughed and said people just dey marry. He has once asked me "You dey find husband?" jokingly-

I would like to settle before 27. Is it bad that I am thinking this way? If he says he is looking to get married in 2-3 years, i think it's a bit far. 2023 is still fine. But the problem is he doesn't really sound like marriage is on his mind. He will be 32 next year April too.

We vibe a lot. But he says I love you sparingly. Sometimes I say it and he doesn't respond, he will say tomorrow I will tell u or no, I told u yesterday.

But we are really really cool. I like him a lot and he likes me but I think I like him more. He gives me attention, I don't have to ask.

If I was 23, I won't have a problem waiting 3-4 years. But since I am ready mentally, financially, I am looking for someone who wants it within 6 months to 1 year. I can still try to do 2 years if I get someone great.

Oga before any of you becomes a murderer..she is one of those bad eyes and there is nothing you can do about it..leave her before you kill someone and mess up your life..how can she say your mother is a winch and you are taking it lightly?better leave that woman now.. child support is not a big issue because you spend more now that she is leaving with you.you are already a vegetable in that house and the only way to get your life back is by divorcing her..she might even change when she finds out you are tired of her nonsense but if it doesn't make her change then just know that she never loved you..I don't know why people are so mean and heartless.

50pseamer:
I would like to share my current situation on this platform , and I will very much appreciate your mature advice on the issue.

I have been having issues with my wife after our first born, we married about 3 years ago, our first born is now about 2 years old, we have been having series of issues In the marriage, my wife argues with me a lot on flimsy issues at times, we do not have constant sex, although I started helping more in the house,I cook and and I do the laundry , and asked her to give me my share of the work, when she complained about work load,I am the only one really working now, and paying 98 percent of the bills.

I told my wife that I will like us to be eating together on the same plate to improve closeness, she refused, she sees arguement as normal discussion, sometimes we have sex once or twice in a month, I have told her I will like us all to attend the same church and pray together, but she still attends her Nigerian church online , where they are always seeing vision , and I do not like her attending that church.she also attends online services of my church with me, but I would like us to be attending one church even if it is not my church.
I asked her recently that we need to be praying together for our marriage even if it is 10 minutes every day, after weeks of no response from her,I approached her yesterday and scolded her about it, she cried and I comforted her, I later asked her at night to come for the prayer,and she said she is not coming.
We live abroad and my mum wants to pay us a visit,
She told me the kitchen is her's and my mum should not enter the kitchen, and I told her that it will be difficult, we can pre cook all our food, But she might need to make tea and I will like her to be able to do that by her self , but my wife refused.
In her church she is attending they already branded. My mother a witch. Even if my mother is a witch, we only need to pray against it, should we humiliate her when she visits us? I cannot make my wife my mother, she does not show me much love and does not show that she cares, neither does she respect me. My mum shows me love that I can feel.

Now we are living like neighbours in the same house.
Do you think she is interested in the marriage or has another plan?

It's disheartening.

dieavirgin:
I don't even understand why parent send kids abroad to school neglecting parenthood. Ode!

Many parents have failed their children.

Vinnie2000:
[b][/b]


As in..
I am surprised that some are Bashing him! Many Cannot even Read simple meaning to a comment!..

Many Parents who sends their Kids to Boarding schools are Either Lazy, Weak or even Selfish!..

I Heard one Man saying 'Married men, Enjoy your Wives,ok?. Send your children to Boarding schools and create more time for Sex/Romance with Her'!..

Exactly what I have been saying..how do you even send your kids to boarding schools,for what purpose?what is your job as a parent?this makes me sick.

NovesaTillie:
The parents who abandoned their 12 year old in a boarding school have failed woefully in parenting and should be arrested and charged for negligence and murder

Just the way your generation will never be forgiven for doing nothing

Ndimkpurummiri:
that is what we are telling ndi mkpurumiri that fulani dont forgive
kanu will never be forgiven

You will find someone much better than me..thanks for the compliment.

bal4real:
Wow. What a candid advice. Ur hubby will forever be grateful to God for giving him a good wife like you. Ur advice is one that lifts ones hope. How I wish I can find someone like u

6 out of 10 leave their husband's..2 are genuinely good while the remaining 2 have turned their husband's to dummies.they get money from the husband's..the government pay them and they work too..some of them it's the money that makes them leave while some don't just want to be under anybody.

PDJT:
-Hmm. Okay. Please educate me- what percentage of those women elope when they get abroad? I mean, how can they even survive there especially with children?

Very serious..

PDJT:
-Are you very serious about the bolded?

Getting a decent wife has nothing to do with age besides you are still very young..I have these advises for you..let beauty not be your mean focus because you want your wife to be the most beautiful..do not ask your relatives to help you find the woman you want to marry because at the end no one truly cares,they only want to position someone in your life that will become their ATM..do not judge people based on their States but character..and do not make the mistake of taking who ever you marry to your base, always come and visit because almost everyone that did this regretted it..they will be mother of Jesus here but once they cross you will be wondering what happened.

oldienavie:
I clocked 36 years 2 months ago, I look fit for my age compared to many Nigerians(I realised most Nigerians dont pay attention to their physical fitness).
I have been outside of the country and just got back with the aim of trying to get a wife.
Am I too old to expect to find a decent woman ?
What suggestions do you have with regards to getting a good woman in the shortest possible time ?
Thanks all.

2 million dollars in 2 months?legit?some people are looking for for people to scam .

Winters23:
I made $2m legit from home in 2 months. Who needs abroad when you can work abroad from home.

Madam..anything that is built on lies never last,be it relationship, friendship or marriage..you had all the time to tell him before it got to this stage but you never did..any how you look at it from now on..it shows that this is a disaster waiting to happen..if you tell him now he may leave..he finds out during or after the ceremony he may still leave..you should have given him enough time to process the whole thing when the relationship just started to be sure this is what he wanted for himself..he would have stayed if he wanted or leave when the time was still right..atleast before you got pregnant..what ever happens now just know it's all your fault..this is fruad my dear.

Mummiesgirls4:
My trad marriage is on the 27 of this month I still have had no courage to tell him about my 3 other children. I am pregnant I am scared he will leave me if he find out that I have 3 other children, I love him so much he is my everything on earth and I am scared to loose him. I don't want to end up single with 5 children. But sometime I feel sad I cry at night and I just don't know what to do because the guilt is so much.

Londo lo say..by the south African lady

Who care.. someone that have killing Nigerians with the help of the government

Evil soul..you kept someone's daughter for 3 years just for free sex..leave her now..let it be your fault but Oga you will want that girl back some day and she will be far gone when the bad girl most have finished dealing with you..evil soul..why keep her for that long?

Mylordmygod1:
A beautiful afternoon to all nairalanders.

Firstly, my greatest fear when it comes to things of this world is 'women', That's why i don't want to break a womans heart in a way that i will be the one to recieve the blame.

I've been in a relationship with my girl for about 3years now, and each time my mum or friends ask me if i'm gonna marry her, my answer is always a capital letter NO.

Now, my mum is warning me to better let her go since i don't have the interest of marrying her. But the hard part is that i'v been promising this girl that i will marry her even when i'm 100% sure i won't marry her, and i don't no how to go about ending the friendship now.

Recently, i've been picking offences for minor isues, getting angry with her for no reasons, trying to give her signal, but none seems to be working, and its now like my anger is her source of happiness these days.

I really want to end the friendship now, but i want the blame to be on her side and not mine, how can i go about it?

ADVICE ME WELL

Thanks.

There is nothing you people will not eat..this is irritating nau...nawaoo

Silly threat..what did to buhari and his killer brothers?who even want that your suffer suffer America?

To the vigilants, congratulations guys..to the Fulani terrorists,enjoy what you started.and to the police that wants to investigate the killers without investigating all the atrocities these Fulani terrorists have been committiy,Una dey craz

BeeBeeOoh:
https://dailytrust.com/nine-killed-houses-burnt-as-gunmen-raid-fulani-settlements-in-niger

Just pray for the dead and shut up.. isn't it obvious that it's the Northerners that put these ones lives at risk?when they were busy killing other tribes like they are not human's didn't they know they were putting others lives at risk?abegi

elmodee7:
You idiotic pigs a have just put the lives of IGBOS in the north at risk. Rest in peace in advance.

Oga it's still not your wife's fault but that of your parents..a family that worked so well in life wouldn't have to worry about anything should anything happen to either of them or both..it's still your parents fault please leave the innocent woman alone because she is not the cause of your problem.why are you being so ungrateful to maker?don't you know that even the people that went through worse things in life can not still afford the things you can afford or would have preferred you suffered for the rest of your life?

LiegeMan:
thanks for the advice,
But Dad joined his ancestors when I was still in elementary school owing to diabetes, Mom single handedly trained me and my siblings through out elementary, and secondary school till the burden became much on her to carry alone, it wasn't their fault in any way.
I've not done any of what I stated.

What is wrong with this one?you are angry that your wife didn't have to suffer to have all the things she has or because she went to parties?is she the reason you didn't party?is she partying now.. isn't she a good wife?you just want to destroy your family and you will regret your actions..direct your anger to your family that didn't provide for so you could party like her while in school and stop blaming the innocent woman for something she knows nothing about..this is why I don't like it when a man has no life experiences..

LiegeMan:
Anger And Vengeance Is Taking The Best Part Of Me

hello nairalanders,

Sorry to disturb your peace but this has been going on in my mind for long and I really need suggestions on how to overcome it. I gave in to ire/anger and it's gradually taking the best part of me since I made a little discovery about my wife's past and how she lived her life while in the campus. I will try and make it as snappy as possible in order not to make you spend much of your time on my case.

Now, it goes this way, my wife came from a middle class family and she attended one of the best and prestigious higher institutions in the country, they're not too rich and they're not poor, infact, their family name can't be in the same sentence with poverty. She had everything she needed and lived her life to the fullest while in the campus, she flirted with and dated the best guys in the campus, she visited many night clubs and other exuberant and flamboyant life style that pertains to the campus.

Now on my own part, I attended one of the Colleges of Education that littered our country,
I did everything all by myself, I sponsored myself throughout my stay in the college, I did all manner of odd jobs to survive, sometimes, I would miss lectures due to lack of cash, no one to assist, all these limitations made me not to pay attention towards the opposite sex as I was busy struggling to survive and hoping unto God for a miracle.

Right now, all I am feeling is anger, ire, all I want now is vengeance knowing fully well that while I was suffering and struggling to survive, fasting without praying, carrying bricks and block from one floor to the other, jumping from one market to the other hawking my wares, that my wife was busy somewhere enjoying and partying away her future, right now, I want to have my revenge, I want to live those life that I wasn't opportune to live, I want to flirt and have fun with many ladies both young and old, I want to visit as many night clubs as possible now that money is flowing in, I careless about the consequences and how she may feel, these are exactly what I'm feeling now.

this can't keep troubling me that's why I brought it here for suggestions and elderly advice.

Very pathetic..the year I got something there was in 2015,just before the general election.. when it was headed by a Yoruba man.. illiterates saying what happens in a country where we have bunch of learned people..the country must be divided.

ZKOSOSO:
Very correct..!!
Same thing here in ABJ. Southerners must kiss their feet to progress in Fed Procurement opportunities. It pathetic

Something I have experienced..before you can get a contract in Napims Ikoyi,you need a Fulani Muslim Infront of you..either learned or an illiterate can go..we the Igbo's and the Yoruba's got nothing..the stupid MD that is also a Fulani because all the MD's are fulani's was trying to give me dick in exchange for contract after drinking my very expensive wine I gave him.. Nigeria needs to be decided,it's not working.. imagine Northerners heading all the good positions in NDDC..

Come again

ivolt:
Stop behaving like an illiterate.
Blackmail is a serious crime and your "western world" only exist in your head.

Its so unfair

Toks2008:
It is always a woman's words against the men. So sad but this is the case.

A lady once threatened that if she does not have her way with a certain guy that she will claim that the man molested her and the guy just gave in at that point.

Any man wey no fear woman is toying with early death.

This is the reason why I'm so angry with the western world..someone will sleep with a guy she loves and when she finds out he doesn't love her or the relationship didn't work out she starts with blackmail or you raped me and someone's son will actually go to jail because of this.

Alright..will drop the name of the company then you go and read through their page.

Royalsphere:
Please share the details of this business with me. horsolomon1@gmail.com

Thanks

Alright

Rencent:
.
Ok thanks

Check your email,I have sent you the name of the company.

Rencent:
Pls can u tell me more about this. I’m interested.
This is my mail. Herikcool@yahoo.com

Check your inbox...the company might have an opening by the end of this month..once they post for this month then you will have to wait for next month for another opening.

myike2:
Please tell me more

Chop your thing alone..

Goldenheart:
I have a local business you can engage in and generate average of #1m per month...

But you won't believe so make I chop my thing alone

I can introduce you to one..I invested 500,000 there and my contract with them will end December but I will renew..it's not mine,I don't know them..you will even have to be on their telegram always before you will be able to get a chance to invest with them when ever there is an opening..if interested let me know but 1 million naira wouldn't give you 400,000 to 500,000 there as you said..it's not blood morning..bye.

myike2:
Hello Nairalanders…

So I’m looking for a good way/means of investing up to N1m. I currently don’t live in Nigeria (though I still have family and friends there, so keep in mind I won’t be able to manage a business there in person), and I’ve been looking for the best investment to do with N1m.”

I send money home every month, so I thought it would be best if I can have an investment in Naija that could generate maybe N300k to N400k monthly, so that I don’t have to send money home anymore. The N1m for investment/business is flexible, that means I could do past the N1m if necessary. I need only solid suggestions please.

Mods please do justice to this.