Seun's Posts
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A friend of mine got into arguments with some fellow filmmakers who told him that subtlety in a movie can't work for Nigerians. According to his friends, "if you don't tell them what you mean, they'll miss the message." My response: It's true that most Nigerians don't appreciate subtlety. They are intelligent, but calibrated differently. They are like Italians - if you don't raise your voice then you're not serious about whatever you are saying. One can assume that a Nigerian inside or outside a movie will always say what's on her mind in a direct manner. Otherwise she doesn't mean it. If you don't scream, you are not angry. If you don't roll on the floor and wail, you are not bereaved. I think it's a cultural thing. I think the Mexicans are just like us, which is why their soap operas are doing really well on Nigeria TV. (The Hausas, bless their gentle hearts, are very different from Yorubas and Igbos in this regard!) |
Orikinla: Seun,Thanks for the tip. I ordered the NV-GS500. The GS500 is a much cheaper 3ccd consumer camera. Unlike the DVX100 camcorders, the GS500 lacks a true progressive mode. Fortunately for me, interlaced videos are TV friendly. Also: Make sure you check out my new topic, "Do Nigerians Appreciate Subtlety In Movies?" Cheers! |
This short story got me thinking about the idea of (1) a series of short story collection, or (2) a series of ensemble movies based on loosely related short stories. The First Approach: A single VCD/DVD with 4-6 short stories like "Doctor Sisi", "Political Rascal", or "The Honest Policeman" is released this month under the title "Abuja Story Collection". Let's say "Doctor Sisi" and "Political Rascal" generate a lot of interest while the others are found boring by viewers. Next Month, a new VCD/DVD titled "Abuja Story Collection 2" is released with "Doctor Sisi 2 (sequel to story one)", "Political Rascal 2", and new stories. Each month, stories that people are not interested in are dropped and new ones are added to replace them. Problem with this approach: Users might find the experience of watching 8 short stories less satisfying than the experience of watching one good story. (Second approach: Almost exactly like the first, but the stories are woven together like Love Actually and Magnolia. I don't like it, but it's something that can be done. Each story will stand alone like an episodic TV drama.) With the first approach, one can use the model used by mangas in Japan. First you release a story collection, then later you compile several chapters of the individual stories and sell them as separatebooks. First, "Abuja Story Collection 1, 2, , " followed by "Political Rascal 1-10" The story collection is great because you'll enjoy at least one story in it. Later, you buy a compilation of chapters of your favorite story for your library. UPDATE: My advisors made me realise that my search for a short story business model is a result of my reluctance to discipline myself to write a complete story for a movie. I'm now targeting 70-90 minute movies. |
Instead of going to Egypt, you can correspond online with an archeologist? (One needs to make one's production budget recoupable!) |
Noted. But, by "toy gun" I really meant realistic-looking toy guns. You won't notice the difference on screen. |
seun come here u done start again shey no be wetin u do wey make them pursue u from actors guild be this stealing script and selling out na here u come dey post am mind u no magha here at all your format no go work?This is a joke, right? Some people won't understand the joke (I don't) so please spell it out. I can confidently boast that this script bears no similarity to those sent to me. It's a unique concept. wait oo have u gotten a director for the film i might just help u for security reasons because one of my uncle a military man(uniformed gate man ) will be glad to help with arms and armunitions holla me okayI appreciate the offer, although I don't like the idea of using real guns for a movie. What if a live bullet finds itself in one of the guns? An actor could end up dead, which is not ok at all. Therefore I really prefer toy guns for movies! |
Search this website: www.google.com |
Have you even tried searching the forum? |
What a lame title! Something climactic like "Harry Potter and the King Of Wizards!" may have been better. We know that Harry Potter has to confront and defeat Lord Voldermort in this book. Can any topic in the book be more important than that? Deathly Hallows my foot! |
If you are an electrical engineer, do you need a loan to repair damaged electronic equipment for people? If you are a Computer Science graduate, do you need a loan to supply PC consumables and repair PCs? If you are a brilliant student , do you need a loan to start giving personal tutorials and composing handouts? If you own a digital camera, do you need a loan to cover events and produce photo CDs for people? If you like to cook, do you need a loan to offer to be a resident chef for all neighbours? If you like children, do you need a loan to convince your neighbours to pay you for baby-sitting services? I know students who own laptops. Why can't they lease such laptops to people for short presentations? Nigeria is a country full of problems. One man's problem is another man's profit!!. Get cracking, people! Instead of looking for capital, look for a business that requires capital withn your means. The fact that you are alive and not dead means that there's a certain amount of capital at your disposal. Manage it!! |
Wow, Damsal and Iice, I love the way you analyse stories. Keep it up, the industry needs insightful critics too! |
Yeah, but probably much easier than trying to convince and train people to write to my satisfaction. |
If you're organizing a Christmas party in your name, I can support it. But I cannot allow myself to be held liable for what I know little about if something goes wrong, which is why I won't let you call it a "Nairaland party". |
Why do you want to become a programmer? What gives you the impression that programming is good for you? Once we know this, we'll be able to answer your question appropriately. See Also: Programming - What About Newbies Like Me? - Nairaland |
Muslims consider pigs unclean, while the scientific community considers pork unhealthy. That's a big problem. |
By now the magazine ought to have been launched! |
[s]Actors Wanted: Male actor who looks 18 to play the role of Irisi. Strikingly attractive female actress to pay the role of the doctor. Another female actress to play the role of sister Patience. Payment: Refreshments and the opportunity for a mutually beneficial professional relaionship Location: A hospital at Sango Ota, Ogun State. email address: [/s] So, for this particular pig to fly, it must have wings or be specially endowed to do so. Why should there be a romance between the two of them, and HOW can the doctor be so easily influenced by him - it's not as though she's never seen a man before, is it? Perhaps the latter instalments of the story will try to answer these questions.You are right; it's a major plot hole. I was wondering about the Inspiration for this Screenplay. Still not seeing the relation. however am not averse to being Directed.This was meant to be the first act of a 70 page story, but I changed my mind and decided to release this as a short story instead of just throwing it away. I could use it to practice the art of movie production. |
i would be glad if you can fed me some ideas on farming (any kind of farming). I am interested in it.Fish Farming: www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-20394.0.html Versus Pig Farming: www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-23669.0.html By becoming a farmer, you can do more to satisfy people's hunger than the best president in the world. |
“Let The Rainbow Take Shape” — Pat Utomi |
The gist on the net is that it's a good Christmas story that's quite faithful to the bible. Don't expect more. |
'Funky Patient': A Screenplay For A Short Film Are you interested in the above screenplay? It will be widely distributed on and off the Internet so you will gain a lot of exposure. All you lose is the 2 days we'll spend on the set. It may be worth it for aspiring actors. |
Has anyone tried it yet? |
The day women start standing up for themselves is the day it will happen. The laws are there. |
It's not funny because you didn't watch it to the end? |
If you predict right, the story is not worth reading, because that would be so improbable that it would take a world without gravity and flying pigs to make it happen.Interesting stories are based on unlikely events. Normal events are boring because they happen around us all the time. A story about pigs flying, if properly delivered, is far more interesting than a story about pigs that don't fly!! The burden is on me to convince you that such an unlikely event could happen under the circumstances of my story. |
Seun hey, what happens next?Alas, that's the end of the story. It's a very short story. I'm writing a longer story that owes a lot to this one. Wow, nice script.Thanks! Yes, Sisi and Irisi are going to have an affair, but no one knows whether the relationship will last. And what's the lessonThe major lesson in this story is that certain illnesses - psychosomatic illnesses - originate from the mind. When I get my production equipment, I'll probably produce and direct this script and put the movie on Youtube! |
I've just completed 'Funky Patient': Screenplay For A Short Film. I started out writing a completely different story, but this screenplay took on on a life of its own - it became completely different from what I initially intended to write. I decided to release it as a short story instead. Enjoy! |
FUNKY PATIENT - A SHORT SCREENPLAY WRITTEN BY: SEUN OSEWA EMAIL ADDRESS: SEUN AT NAIRALAND.COM Copyright © 2006, Oluwaseun Osewa. All Rights Reserved. Draft 1.1a INT. - HOSPITAL WARD - DAY IRISI, a sweaty, sickly looking young man of about 18 is helped into a bed by SISI, a very attractive 25 year old female doctor. She takes her seat beside him. IRISI Doctor Sisi, do you love me? SISI (surprised, shaken) What? She quickly regains her composure. SISI Of course, Irisi. As a doctor, I have to love all my patients. IRISI I mean, do you love me more than you love your other patients? Pregnant pause. SISI Yes, I love you more than I love other patients. You've been here for several weeks, so I think I can confidently tell you that I love you as a RESIDENT patient. IRISI Ok. Do you know what is wrong with my body? SISI To be honest with you, I'm not so sure. You've tested negative to all the ailments I've suspected so far. I'd like to test you for HIV, so we can also rule that out. Irisi breaks into a grin. SISI Hope no problem? Irisi's grin grows wider as he looks towards her. SISI Irisi! IRISI I'm sorry. SISI What's so funny? IRISI I was just wondering how I could have AIDS when I've never even kissed a girl in my life! SISI (leaning closer) Really? You've never ever kissed a woman in your life? IRISI (breathing hard) No. Not even once. Patience, a female nurse, rushes into ward. Immediately, the doctor pulls back and looks up. NURSE Doctor, there's an emergency in hall 49. A patient collapsed on his way to the bathroom. We don't know why? Sisi jumps up from her seat. SISI Is he stable? NURSE I don't know. He was rushed to the emergency room minutes ago. SISI Alright, let's go. SISI (to Irisi as she leaves) Irisi, you're taking the HIV test this evening. Sex is not the only way people get infected. IRISI (still amused) Alright ma. Sisi rushes out with the nurse. Irisi lies back in bed and dozes off after a few seconds. INT. - HOSPITAL WARD - DAY Irisi is lying on the same bed from the last scene, but sitting up. He appears weak, but perhaps not as sick as he was last night. Doctor Sisi walks into the room with Patience the nurse, who is carrying a file. As they enter, Patience hands over a test result sheet to the doctor. SISI Irisi. IRISI Good morning Doctor Sisi, Sister Patience. PATIENCE Good morning Irisi. SISI How are you feeling today? IRISI Not too bad, not too good. SISI According to this report, you're HIV negative. That's good news. IRISI The bad news is that I'm still sick. SISI Right. And we can't find anything physically wrong with you. I think your problem is psychosomatic. Irisi struggles to say something. Sisi waits patiently for him to talk, but he says nothing. SISI A psychosomatic illness is an illness of the mind. You feel pain and weakness all over your body, but the feeling originates from your mind. Your brain. SISI (touching her head) Right here. Irisi nods. SISI How are you doing, generally? How is school? IRISI I'm awaiting my results. SISI SSCE results? Irisi nods. SISI What grades were you expecting. IRISI Five credits and 2 passes. I think I'm going to fail Yoruba. SISI Is that what's making you unhappy? IRISI I'm not unhappy. SISI I see (not convinced). What about that your girlfriend situation. Does it worry you? Irisi blushes and gestures towards sister Patience. Doctor Sisi understands and is amused. SISI Oh, you're shy. Let's go to my office for the rest of this consultation. Sister Patience storms out with his file. SISI Haba, Patience! Patience stops in her tracks. SISI Can I please have Irisi's file? The nurse returns and hands the file to the Doctor, who hesitates briefly to say SISI And you call yourself patience! Patience drops the file on Irisi's bed, then marches right out. Sisi supports Irisi as he gets up and helps him towards her office. SISI Don't mind her. I think she likes you. IRISI Really? SISI I was just joking. Irisi, disappointed, hangs his head low. INT. - OFFICE OF THE DOCTOR - DAY Sisi enters with Irisi and helps him into his seat. Then she takes her seat next to his, and moves her chair closer. SISI So, this your girlfriend situation , does it make you unhappy? IRISI Maybe. Sisi sighs deeply SISI (to herself) What can we do to get you a girlfriend? IRISI There's a particular girl I have in mind. SISI Tell me about her. IRISI She's a mature, well educated, smart, responsible and caring lady. SISI Have you told her how you feel? IRISI No. Do you think my weakness will be cured if I tell her how I feel? SISI Maybe, maybe not. You won't know unless you try. IRISI What if she rejects me? Sisi reaches out to touch Irisi's hand (a motherly gesture) SISI Darling, you have a handsome baby face, soft skin, a gentle demeanor, and a rich family. Once you snap out of this sickness you'll be a hot potato. Many girls will jump at the opportunity to go out with you. IRISI I don't want "many" girls, just this one. It's this one I want. SISI Why are you so particular about this girl? IRISI (looking around) Do you promise not to tell anyone? SISI Yes. IRISI Any time I close my eyes, I see her. I am tormented by visions of her. Visions that never stop. SISI So, you want her because dream about her all the time? IRISI No. A dream is something that you see when you're sleeping, right? Sis nods "yes". IRISI I do not dream about her. I have VISIONS about her. Powerful visions that visit me in my sleep and flash before me during every moment of my day. Visions that fill my soul with this forbidden passion for an unavailable woman. I want to extinguish this passion before it takes over my soul, but alas, I think it's too late. I'm a prisoner of love. My heart belongs to her. SISI Hey, poet, come back to the real world. Do you mean to tell me that you are having a vision of this girl right now? IRISI (staring into space) Right now? Sisi nods affirmatively. IRISI Yes. In fact, , [inaudible] SISI This is serious o. Can you tell me how the two of you met? Her name and where she lives? IRISI Her identity is confidential. SISI How confidential? Come on, tell me! IRISI No. Sisi's voice suddenly turns professional. SISI Irisi, if you love this girl as much as you say, you should tell her how you feel. If she rejects you, it's no big deal. Whatever you do, don't tell her about these visions of yours. She may not understand. You don't want her to think you are crazy. And don't keep pestering her if she says no. No means no. Ok? Irisi frowns. SISI Look, there are many fishes in the ocean. There are many nice and beautiful girls all over the place. You shouldn't fixate your mind on one girl. Your dreams, or whatever you call them IRISI Visions SISI (continues) visions, are just a product of your obsession to this girl. Irisi's frown deepens in response. SISI I'm not saying you should not ask her out or try to act upon your visions. Ask her out. If she says yes, good for you. If she says no, move on. Life is live and let live. Irisi tries to get up in annoyance, but he fails because he's too weak. Instead of helping him up, Sisi reaches under her office desk and pulls out a walking stick. SISI Here's a gift I bought for you. Take it. He takes it and uses it to get up on his own. Then she writes him a prescription and hands the slip to him. SISI Take this to John in the pharmacy. The drugs I've prescribed will help you with your visions. Make sure you don't miss any dose o. Irisi stumbles out of the office on his new walking stick. When he finally shuts the door, Sisi just shakes her head and after doing some work, lays down her head for a quick nap. Someone knocks, waking her up. SISI Come in. Patience enters the room with a basket of flowers with an envelope in it. As she enters, she reads the label PATIENCE Someone dropped this in front of your office. It says, "with love from a secret admirer." SISI Secret admirer? Let me see it. Patience hands her the envelope. As she opens the card inside it, Patience leans over to spy on the contents. Sisi notices this and quickly closes the card. SISI Em, Patience, thank you very much. Can I have some privacy, please? Patience drops the flowers on her desk and marches out. PATIENCE (barely inaudible) Always hiding things from me , Sisi waits for her to slam the door, then reads the contents of the card. She smiles, then shouts: SISI Patience! Patience, I know you're standing behind that door. Please come in! Patience opens the door and steps in. SISI Can you help me deliver a message to the pharmacy desk? Tell John to dispense Paracetamol instead of the tablets I prescribed for Irisi. PATIENCE Alright ma. After Patience leaves, Sisi, still smiling, arranges her desk to create some space for the bouquet of flowers. Then she preens her hair and applies some makeup after fetching a mirror from her purse. She cradles the card on her chest like a baby for a while, and lays it face up on her table. Finally, she gets up, still smiling. With both hands in the pockets of her overalls, she marches out of her office and locks the door after herself. Still smiling. The message on the card sent by Doctor Sisi's secret admirer, left open on her able, reads, "Doctor, YOU are the girl in my visions. How about that?" |
Glad you like it. It's a very romantic idea!! I wonder when people will start trying it out! ![]() |
See also: To Slim Down My Rear End (by bootysue). God luck! |
Why does God feel the need to present himself as multiple personalities? Why can't he just be himself? ![]() |
Please don't put Pat Utomi in the same category as VP Atiku and Okotie. That's very disrespectful of you. ![]() |
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