₦airaland Forum

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How sweet -  

[quote author=Mrs, Chima link=topic=757157.msg9147815#msg9147815 date=1316025015]You are going to milk your daughter's future husband for all he got.  I know you made a list when she was 2 years old.  Tell the truth.  

50 lbs of yams
20 lbs of Jasmine rice
40 goats
300 chickens
20 packs of Brazilian weave for the Mrs.
100 crates of assorted Lager
N200,000 in cash[/quote]ahahahahahahaha

r231:
she is on FB dats good enough lol

its her choice. . . . i told her to join

but she log on as me a lot of times to read and see what i have bn up to

well that's good -  

These guys see women as Ashewo - and it sounds cultural to me

When I continued to describe throughout the thread what I was talking about in regard to 2 people supporting each other in ALL ways including money - Ashewo dropped from their mouth

In the U.S. - boyfriends and girlfriends who are engaged and planning towards marriage - 90% or more of them have each other's back and it isn't seen as "selling one's self to the highest bidder"

Same as a female or male who date each other are concerned about the other's credit rating, GPA, use of narcotics, temperament.  Money is seen in the same manner - how it is made, how it is shared, how it is spent.  If you have low test scores consistently - you won't get into a good school.  It is rare for a stingy man to receive a generous wife.  It happens but not often.  You usually get back what you put out in the universe.

The same as if you don't contribute financially in the beginning of a relationship - the marriage won't be any different - if she is cheap or he is cheap and stingy before marriage - he and she continues that stinginess through the marriage.

So culture is the same as well - what is culturally acceptable will dictate many times in someone's head - an acceptable mode of behavior in their own relationships and marriage.

@ Chima

You are so sweet

But - my needs and my guy has nothing to do with my request

I am wanting some information from a culture standpoint as to what is an acceptable viewpoint from a "Nigerian Woman's Point of View"

Curiosity pure and simple

My guy and I have our own thing and from the posts I see on this thread - it must be very special - cause I see very few doing what we do.  I just want to get ideas of Nigeria before I arrive from a Woman's Point of View and What is seen as Natural and Second Nature for them according to how it is "taught"

@ r231

she is not a NL member?

you don't want her on NL?

ooooooo

i am so disappointed in you

her input would be priceless and invaluable

@ r231

Hey R - I wasn't going to comment any longer until I read your last statement

While your wife is laying on top of you - will you ask your wife if she can open a thread telling us what is the eqtiquette of a Good Nigerian Wife?

I want to know what is considered a "Good Nigerian Wife" - regarding handling money, work, children, house work, sex - also what is this bride price you were talking about as well.

For us foreign women - so we have a better understanding of the culture.  She is nigerian, she is a wife and she is married to you so I would love to hear her point of view.

She can even title the thread R231's wife's point of view - that would be helpful - to us.

Thank you.

This is a waste of time.

I'm moving to another thread

Ladies stop banging your heads against brick walls with these people.  Let them think what they want to think and believe what they want to believe and throw people into categories - whether true or untrue - let them work out their own way - focus on your own videos and thrive with how you have your relationship(s) - do what works for you and forget how they see you.

Again - just walk around them.

all4naija:
@Shy-One

You've made another mistake.I would compel you to see to the subject at hand once again. I am into a relationship already with a blond. My former Nigerian girl is no way as close in any capacity to what I want in a relationship.

That preoccupation with the term real men is annoying, to say the least. Come on!In this context, most men here are real. Most of them support the truth of not giving money to girls tasking their guys for it. Girls should learn to be hard working rather than opening their legs wide asking guys to help them out with money.

Stop directing your comments at me - I don't open my legs for money.  That is one former Nigerian girl - The subject at hand has turned into this - because many of you men have turned it so.  That isn't the topic.  All of my friends the majority are white - You can believe my friend that "white men" definitely do that and even much, much, much more and you don't have to ask a large majority of them.  

I don't task my guy for money - money isn't AN ISSUE between us - we both give quite generously to each other AND NONE OF IT IS LOAN money.  We see our needs collectively and go forward from there.

aribisala0:
giving cash is charity NOT HELP?ASSISTANCE
if you need cash get a loan or use your credit card quit scrounging
africa has been receiving so called food aid and other forms of aid for decades still we can't feed ourselves.

there are lots of girls in nigeria available for fun and games when you go to visit. in fact you can maintain some kind of relationship with them where they bring other girls for you and you pay.
there are nigerian politicians i know who keep girls here in london in nice apartments and pay them monthly. i do not judge and i respect such people more than the clowns who try to ambush you in a so called love relationship with all this blackmail. there is a difference between an aristo with deep pockets and a young man trying to build a life. we should have a nigerian version of JUDGE JUDY for all the times these skewed relationships go awry.
with nigerian girls it is one invoice after the order and to be honest i can't stand them . even most annoying is they cannot even do

Quit aiming your bullshitz at me though - because nothing you have written APPLIES in my situation on any level

all4naija:
Thumb-up for THE REAL WOMAN CAMPAIGN! Could somebody join me up!?

When would Nigerian girls become real women!? I have read several comments calling those who didn't support their ripping off agenda as stingy men or rather not real men!

That goes for you too - aim your propaganda at women that are doing what you are saying - that isn't myself, Talina or the Poster - you numbskulls need to open a thread about those types of women - that isn't what this thread is about - you are bringing into this thread - you and MBJ and several other men - crap you have went through at the hands of women who operate on that level.

WE ARE NOT ON THAT LEVEL - you are and have gotten off topic - YOU HAVE created your own sub topic and RAN WITH IT to push your own agendas about your "hurt - tricked - love gone wrong situations"

WE ARE NOT INTERESTED because that isn't what this topic is - but you have devised different ways and manners into turning it into that and trying to turn us into your victims because the ones that took your money and ran or dogged you out aren't here - so you make us your targets.

Guess what?  I'm not going to LET YOU.

aribisala0:
let us look beyond all the biographical rubbish you have written about real men nigerian men are not silly, as a matter of fact when i talk to all the african girls i know they say nigerian men spend the most but it is transactional let us not pretend there is love in that. of course people put a different price/value on themselves and charge different rates but a CHARGE is what it is. a boyfriend may give you money but that is not HELP /ASSITANCE in my book that is a hindrance. if you borrow and pay back may be that is help so cut the sanctimonious BULL shite

My man is NIGERIAN LIVING IN NIGERIA.

So all Nigerian women in Nigeria have transactional relationships with their men?  Who are you kidding?  Quit lying to push your point(s).

Giving money isn't HELP/ASSISTANCE?  

"CLEAN UP ON AISLE 17" - To all shoppers, step around the broken glass and fluid lying in Aisle 17 - "aribisala0's {frontal lobe} of his brain (brain area that controls specific reasoning) has shattered and is in pieces on the floor around him"

Please carry your FRAGMENTED self and go.

Ok - gotta go back to work

@ Fork Addict

I don't have relationships that exist on those levels.

I see you have quite an active sex life that involves paying for sex by buying weave, bb, giving money.  

Nothing that the poster or I have been talking about ON ANY LEVEL - is equated with being a prostitute or looking for prostitutes who pass themselves off as students, colleagues or workmates or who pass themselves off as girlfriends.

That's why I speak to MBJ the way I do - he too is of a wrong assumption.  Still equates what the poster, I and Talina are saying as though we are some type of "undercover Ashewo"

When you are "damaged goods" - your view is twisted and all you can see everywhere you look is that twisted view.  Reminds me of someone who buys a Honda Accord - as soon as they drive off the car lot - though there are millions of different makes and models - they start paying more attention to the Honda Accords that pass them by on the road - especially the Hondas that are the same year.  They notice them everywhere they look.

MBJ and alot of these men have dealt with Ashewos - so that is all he sees in most women and those of us who don't reside on that level are put on that level in his mind.  I don't get offended anymore because after doing his palm reading it became obvious that this is "how his mind works" - my words won't change that fact - so I don't try to change him or any men that think like that - I just "identify them for what they are" - so innocent women who know of what "real relationships" actually consist - at a young age - can step over, run, avoid those that think and act like him.

If you don't avoid that type of man - "You will be damaged as well and have a very low opinion of yourself and who you are"

MBJ wrote

if my action are seen as STINGINESS to you then let me be KING STINGY and laugh all the way to the bank being richer, rather than being POORER and in a fake r/ship where a gal will ONLY profess her love because of the money i spend on her. is it not that stinginess that is making any man wealthier than the other?! or do you think i rob banks or am the son of a politician?  
you certainly dont know the value of money OR what it takes to KEEP money if you expect anyone to just throw it around as if it has no value!

i (MBJ) is the prize, if anyone is not focusing on ME as a person and rather focus on what i can PROVIDE for them then this is not what i want in my life. as i repeat: WOMEN COME A DIME A DOZEN!!!!!
to each their own

how can any man look at himself in the mirror every morning when he knows that A) if he hasnt got money any longer, his gf will be gone B) if someone with more money than him happens to want his gf, that person can just throw a little bit more money at her and she will be his!

Sorry if using “common sense” is equated as being an Ashewo – then LET ME REPEAT "Ashewo I WILL BE"

But sadly you my friend through whatever you have experienced - you still see assisting in a financial capacity as being described as “mumu” - "Financial Assistance is part of a relationship" - that is truth in THIS AGE, PAST AGE AND IN FUTURE AGES.

Who exactly are you responding to?  I don’t use men for money – I own my own business – you are adding a lot of BS that has never came out of my mouth and both my man and I have assisted each other in expanding our businesses.

That is the BEAUTY of dealing with a “real man” – you both skyrocket, you both thrive – that is also the BEAUTY of a “real man” dealing with an honest woman who is out for the RELATIONSHIP and not for SELF.  HE HELPS ME - AND I HELP HIM.  From advice, to directions, to encouragement, to support and yes, you got it - TO MONEY.

That is why I don’t date men who think on your level.  I also don’t bed hop from man to man in the event that he might turn down a factual occurrence where his input is needed (His money); I don’t leave him because he doesn’t assist, because the fact is that I don’t initiate anything with him on a substantial level until I have seen what he is or what he isn’t before I involve myself with him.  He has already shown his hands to me and I have shown my hands to him prior to my allowing him entry to my domain and prior to him allowing me entry to his domain.

I lost my job in 2008 – a job paying in excess of $60,000.00 a year plus bonuses/commissions because of the recession.  As soon as I lost my job in Chicago in October of 2008 – November of 2008 – I was interviewing one week in DC and in NY in the same week – driving all over the country to find work – but the floodgate had been released and all companies were closing or releasing employees in the millions – So I opened my own business in 2009 and it is now 2011 – been in business for 2 years and am expanding.  yayyyyyyyyy!

If you are not a serious man – I don’t have the time to even look your way.  If you are counting pennies and can’t buy me a burger because you “aren’t eating too” – I don’t have the time for that pessimistic stance; actually Shy-One has never met anyone who thinks like that; Thank God because  I have larger projects on the horizon.  I cannot waste my valuable time with someone who can’t see the forest (what’s really going on) for the trees (what they believe is going on).

Your “happy-go-lucky azz” – has a serious disconnect going on – Me and Provision are not 2 separate entities where NEVER THE TWO SHALL MEET.  Part of who EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US IS – is that of being a “provider” – all men and women are – they provide for themselves and they provide for each other to include their families as well.  But your way of “getting out of THAT role in life” – is to push the BS thoughts that you will be “mumu” and the woman will be “Ashewo” – if you open your wallet.
Another reason why your preferred woman of choice is in her early twenties and you are middle aged.  She is too inexperienced to know any better, your smooth words has yet to reveal to her the “man you have developed yourself to be,” – I wonder just how “Wonderful you will look to her” – once she needs you in a financial capacity and you bow out of that with your words.  I wonder what vein of light she will see you in at that time and tell us – what number is she as I suspect you haven’t sustained a long relationship in quite some time.  You must change your women as you change your socks.

People of intellect can see you for what you are and they just push around you.

Ladies – SEE THE STINGY MAN in our midst and please make sure you “walk around him.”

eridah2007:
@Shy-One
You too dey write-writi  

if dem dey beat una for mouth,una go dey use nyansh talk

- I know - but what is right is right - MBJ will just have to beat me - I will take my beating well - that is all I can say -

^^^^^

very funny

The only answers MBJ has are answers in support of his position.

I love the bible but many times - the "bible thumpers" many times are not genuine - because they use the bible to support their position which many times can be completely wrong.

His theory is similar to false "bible thumpers = MBJ has answers but only to support him in his view - he has been hurt and used and is very vocal about it - he really continued to dig deep - because as a gypsy - I was able to correctly read him and nail him most accurately.

Hit dogs holler.  Have you not heard that saying?

He equates assisting and pulling his weight in a relationship the same as though someone is asking for weave and BB's - he puts any request for money including legitimate requests - those too are placed on a negative level because simply put - he isn't wanting to part with his moolah FOR ANY REASON.  SO he screams and hollers at everyone for miles around.  That is the basic foundation of a "cheap/stingy man"

MsDarkSkin:
hahahahahahahahaaa!                

this cracked me up! lol

*going back to read thread*      

He's sadistic - mad cause I hit a nerve(s) in my "accurate palm reading" -  these men who are stingy - so they can continue to hold to their stingy ways - they jump all over women who "aren't golddiggers" - define us as "golddiggers" in support of their own agendas so they can maintain their stingy ways  - of doing NOTHING in a relationship.

They purposely turn and twist our words to make us out to the "opposite" of what we are, because they have been hurt by previous women - they now see ALL WOMEN as gold-diggers.  Those of us who are genuine - just have to overlook these "damaged men" and their "twisted views" - continue with your life AS IT IS ESPECIALLY IF IT IS working for you and for your mate.

Thank God - I have a "real man"  - I pity the women who have to look at these louses on the 24/7

God Forbid something occur in their "love life" with their mate who would need assistance - but their love is devoid of monetary support.  Love is Action - Words without DEEDS means nothing.  I wish indeed that a man would tell me he loves me and then if I have a need - look at me or change the subject or overlook a need that I have and he is in my life.

If my man has a need and I do nothing - he should look for someone to replace me - that is disgraceful.  And these cheap/stingy men who bow out of a relationship right before Christmas or who expects you to do all the "girlfriend BS" and all they contribute is advice and a smile - should be booted azz first out of any relationship they think they are party to,

And to add to that - you grinning pack of neanderthals

Shy-One's guy is going to assist in her video as she is going to assist him in his video.  And if that makes me an Ashewo - then I accept that title with great honor.

@ MBJ

You just love to argue - I do not agree with you.  I'm not running from you (you just got here, lololol)

I just have some work projects that hit me hard as of this morning and they won't take their hands off me until sometime next week.

So it comes a time when a girl must "pick her battles"

An online discussion of differing points of view - falls low on the totem pol for Shy-One right now.

@ Debosky and Dayo - my fall from grace is far from funny

@ Tashanja - I will remember your little salute as well my NL friend

All of you know that MBJ is totally wrong here - he is taking great delight in disrespecting us as women.

@ MBJ - there are times when I adore your thought process and few times you are horrible - and this is one of them.

^^^^

Ok - I throw in the towel - can I please have some peace now.

Now I just agree with you - ok? 

Let's make peace - you are a good person and so am I

I have such a long list of things to do for the few weeks - take pity and mercy and let's just stop

can we be friends - you and I are too intelligent and full of ourselves to be enemies

you have worn me down

I will be your Ashewo or whatever it is that you want to call me today - ok?

Tosinville:
^^Too long, man

Sorry - but I need to rip him a new one.

@ MBJ

What I won't do is hurl insults at you as you have hurled your insults and foul names my way - because I encourage men to be men in my relationship(s)

But what I will do is identify you for what you are - a sage who has seen and done quite a bit.  Is seasoned and of help to NL most times but this time YOU KNOW NOT WHAT YOU SPEAK.

In the real world as we know it - men DO provide for those they love and those women are not seen as hoes, LovePeddlers or ashewos as you so aptly refer to me.

I am blunt about the real fact that I expect my man to be a man and I don't make any bones about it.  I in turn give quite generously to my man.  I have no time for losers - men or women - point blank period.

When I mentioned that you wear red panties - which you turned around in conversation and aimed at me - French is your first language so maybe you are having a hard time comprehending English.  You wear panties and I will definitely repeat it.  You are a late 40's early 50s male who portrays Unclad white girls barely out of their teens on your profile for all to see and put your middle finger up as evidence that "she is good/great phuck material"  - You who call yourself a man - but you dub me an Ashewo for expecting my mate to care for me on a financial level - his gf, his fiance.  And you go off on your tirades directed at me instead of seeing what I was saying - you highlighted 3-4 sentences of my "published essay(s)" to defend your position - What I am is gypsy - Not Ashewo and I am going to read your ever so revealed palm of where you have been to this point in your life.

You have been hurt by a woman(s) - either a wife or long time lover(s) and have bowed out of having any relationship that will tie you to that person on a significant level - hence your stupidity in your comment, "If I eat with her - I will buy for her - but if she eats without me, she will buy her own damn food" - Your thoughts reek of me, me, me, me.  You are out for self and self only and who ever has gotten you to the bitter level you currently reside has twisted your thoughts to assume that all women even those who are in "relationships of significance" are still considered in your thought as being on a LovePeddler level if any money is involved.

Any logic of reasoning that I was trying to portray flew past you as you heard and saw the word "Bedroom" and latched onto it and took it down a road and in a manner in which I didn't portray.  Here's why you played yourself in your rash, runaway decision that you administered to me so brazenly.  Pussi. is king in your world.  Let NL know that the very men who scream, "Pussi. means nothing" - That very Pussi. is their Kryptonite.  The very Pussi. they rebel against, screaming out to NL that Pussi. means nothing to them are the very men who enjoys Pussi. so much that it literally brings those DOUBLE TALKERS to their knees.  MBJ's krytonite happens to be "young, white, barely out of high school age, barely out of secondary school Pussi."  And no matter what he says - you can most definitely believe that he will die for it. MBJ's Actions scream louder than his words.

I know not if you pass yourself off as a love-vendor or a Player or a little bit of both - were you not lobbying not long ago on behalf of one of your white female friends who was looking for some Black, Stallion with no strings attached to get down with?  Ashawo equates money and sex - Is that not correct?  I expect my mate to be my mate in every aspect from the tip of his toes, to his wallet, to the top of his head and in turn he has MY ALL AND ALL.   I don't choose men who want non-productive women - my mate expects the same from me.  But because I word it in a manner in which you associate with Ashawo - is because YOUR MIND IS IN THE GUTTER and your mind directly reflects your lifestyle.

Ye shall know them by their name.  It is my firm belief that not only do you receive Pussi. from your very young white girlfriends - but as white girls are know quite well in the states for bequeathing Papa's money to their black men as well.  I can't imagine London or European women being any different - Before you sling Asawo in my direction - look into your bathroom mirror for you are only describing what you see in the mirror everyday.

I Love Intimacy and don't lay down for money - but you best believe whatever I lay down with better be bringing home the bacon as much or more than what I bring to the table.  As far as children - again your comprehension skills were off - totally - You mentioned equality in your post of Kobo to me - I mentioned that if Kobo giving should be equal in your book then so should all other competencies - from child-rearing to bosom feeding.  Since you can't bosom feed and can't compete with women on that level, why should women give the same as men - especially in worlds where men make more money?  How you missed that and went to the level you took the conversation is beside me.  There is no equal - women give more in certain areas and men give more in certain areas.

As Lax brought to my attention - which you totally overlooked, is that the men were discussing gold-digging women - I was discussing a relationship that wasn't of a gold-digging nature - but was genuine where 2 give to each other.  That is what I am discussing and the poster is discussing as well.  Somehow because you didn't like the 3 or 4 sentences you highlighted that I stated - you got to calling me Ashewo.  For you to have gone off on that broomstick - tells me that you have much experience with gold digging women who have buried you in the past and now you are the male version of the Ashewo you just slung my way.

But hey - To each his own.

@ MBJ

Am back now - so I will respond to your posts before I jump in the shower.

Mrs. C

I am going to bend that man in sooo many different positions

He will be unrecognizable. He won't be able to sit at anyone's side or at anyone's feet when I get done with him.

@ MBJ and Lax

I need to take a break

I will be back - I need to eat before it gets too late

I will then take my nightly walk - I walk 2-3 times a day

Then I will read what you wrote and get back with you - it is almost 8:30 pm where I am and I need to get back from my walk at least by 10:30p and then I will give you both a response.

but in the interim - MBJ - you have wounded me - I am so mad at you - I am not an Ashewo or experiencing Ashewoism as you have put in your post that I have caught a few glimpses of,

you are going to pay for those words you have thrown at me.

^^^^ @ MBJ's researched term paper

God

help us all - what have I unleashed?

Ok so do I have any volunteers?

Who is going to bail me out of this one - MBJ - is now out for my jugular

let me read this he has formatted

Lord give me strength.

ahahahahahaha

lololololololol

your boys? ahahahahahah

you too funny

Shy-One

Slaps the shitzzz out of Emmatok - back hands him twice - then judo-style drop kicks him out of the thread.

Leisurely sits down - delicately crosses ankles - pops popcorn in mouth - turns to another page 10 of Newport News as Cosmopolitan waits in line to be reviewed.

all4naija:
Your fantasy is interesting though, would you do the same and eat up his sugar stick. Come on! That is not the bigger problem the bigger problem is love not those things you listed by trying to enslave your guy with what literary every donkey out there can do to you.

When are our girls going to be using their brain rather than their legs? You should have said, my legs are wide open can you help me with them!? A booty call can do better!

I would do it with a smile and to music of my choice in a heartbeat for him - he is my mate.

But on the other hand - you have misunderstood my post to MBJ who wants to know how equal the Kobo should be (I am assuming that Kobo is money).  I expect my man to make more money than me and also as we grow in the relationship - It is my role to help his money grow even larger as we work  more and more as a team.  It is obvious that physical love is the lesser of compatibility and sustainability in a relationship.

How well you work together, your similarities, your motivations, driving force, communication and commonalities - that is what keeps you together - sex is falls into all of that as well.

I was trying to make a point with MBJ to show that we are "not equal" - our "Kobo" is not equal - what we as women share with you willingly you cannot share with us as willingly because of our roles in the relationship - as the man - why shouldn't we expect gifts and money from you - since the man should not be the one dancing for the woman in a pair of silky red panties.  

Each of us brings different things to the table for the good of the relationship.

Does anyone not get my point here?

all4naija:
I am sorry for saying this. Our girls are professional liars when it comes to money. The first attempt is always the path to  endless demand for money.

Well, I think they still need to learn to address things on their own rather than waiting on guys to take responsibilities for them. Some girls even made it clear on Nairaland they can not marry well educated guys without good jobs! If any girl is waiting for my hard earned cash to foot her bills you will wait till the second coming and, I say cry baby, if you could!

I understand what you are saying - I didn't see it like that - I saw the poster as just wanting help from the man in her life.