₦airaland Forum

iykedare:
Association of bitter feminists. You babes need d!,cks. Lack of it is your problem.

Stop being emotional.

Seems Nairaland is due for a thunderous ultra-feminist thread.

damiso:
Stillfire there was also a case here where a man also sued a catholic priest and the catholic Church for having an affair with his wife and running his marriage

Lol, good on the man.

Nonso23:
I thought you don't care about mistresses nor progressive methods to sort their issues??

See thesis wey you go research post for us!

Nashville is seeking suggestions to punish cheaters and I provided one which I believe is the most progressive method ever suggested on this thread. And not the yeye calling the mistress, reporting to her pastor or parents that I've been seeing on this thread.

Nashville:
You ladies obviously had alot of fun yesterday. I expected your responses because I had noticed the trend. And I quite agree you dont want to start fighting every girl you see with your husband.
My point though is that these young girls need to be taught that it is not ok to date a married man. In fact it has consequences and sometimes I wish they bear the consequences of dating married men and ruining another woman's marriage. It is wrong to date married men; the girl is no better than the married man in my view as they are both cheating.
We all talk about the law of karma, but hey it doesnt always work. Some of these aristo girls end up marrying very good men that will never cheat on them. And some good girls who never cheated would end up with bad guys. So I wouldnt go the karma route. But I think there has to be a way to teach those girls a lesson. Men sometimes are the hunted now.
For the married men that cheat, they should also be punished with stiffer divorce laws that ensure women get a fare share of a man's wealth where infidelity is involved. But I think one of the ways of reducing cases of infidelity is by punishing people. I have focused on married men cheating with single girls; it does not mean that married women don't cheat but I do not want to discuss that.

Ok Nashville. Despite my wahala sometimes I believe marriage should be protected. Here is a good suggestion below

Here in North Carolina there are laws that give the wife rights to sue her husband's mistress even the mother-in-law for alienation of affection. It is a good read and should be implemented in Nigeria.

https://www.rosen.com/divorce/divorcearticles/alienation-of-affection-and-criminal-conversation/

Excerpt:

Infidelity & Alienation of Affection

An outsider’s interference with marriage can cost the outsider big bucks in North Carolina. Fairly high-dollar awards in such cases have existed here for a number of years, a fact not generally known. As long ago as 1926, for instance, a jury in Macon County rendered a verdict in the amount of $12,000 against the lover of plaintiff’s wife. A 1931 jury in Forsyth County held against a plaintiff’s wife’s father-in-law for $38,000. A Rowan County jury awarded $30,000 against a husband’s girlfriend in 1969. In 1982, our Court of Appeals affirmed a jury verdict in the amount of $25,000 in compensatory damages and another $25,000 in punitive damages.

In the 1990’s, North Carolina juries were even more generous. A 1990 Forsyth County jury award of $300,000 in punitive damages for alienation was sustained on appeal, even though the court struck the compensatory award for $200,000. In 1997 alone, a jury handed down $1.2 million against a female paramour in Forsyth County, awarded another jilted wife $1 million in Alamance County and a deceived husband $243,000 in Wake County. In late 1999, a judge in Durham County valued compensatory damages in a case brought by a husband against his wife’s lover at less than $3,000 in compensatory damages but the judge still awarded $40,000 in punitive damages on the criminal conversation claim.

Even in the last 15 years, the trend of generosity has continued. In August of 2000, a Burke County judge awarded a devastated wife $86,250 for alienation of affection and $15,000 for criminal conversation, totaling $101,250. In May of 2001, in Richmond County, the jury answered the issues of NC alienation of affection and criminal conversation in favor of the scorned husband and awarded him compensatory damages of $50,000 plus punitive damages of $50,000. Another distraught husband, in Mecklenburg County, received an award of $1.4 million in May, 2001 comprised of $910,000 in compensatory damages and $500,000 in punitive damages. The jury found the doctor who had had an affair with this man’s wife liable for both alienation of affection and criminal conversation. After an appeal the original award of compensatory damages was reversed, the punitive damages award, however, was upheld. In 2007, a Cook County judge ordered a man to pay $4802 to a husband who was grieving the loss of his wife after an affair.

In 2009 a woman was awarded a nine million dollar verdict after she won a suit against her husband’s mistress, and in 2011 another plaintiff was awarded a thirty million dollar verdict in an NC alienation of affection suit.

This claim will also survive even if you cannot prove that the mistress was the one in fact doing the “luring,” and it was your spouse who initiated contact and pursued her. You have a claim if you can prove that the person you are suing was an active participant, initiated, or encouraged the affair.

What makes this tort different from criminal conversation, which we discuss below, is that an alienation of affection claim can survive even if there is no evidence of sexual intercourse. Some law professor-types call this the “mother-in-lawsuit” exception. Very witty.

That’s right, if your mother-in-law played an active role in your loss of affection from your spouse, and you can prove she did so maliciously, you could probably sue her for alienation of affection. Liability hinges on whether the family member’s conduct arose from malice or other improper motive.

Although this tort has been widely abolished and is only recognized in a handful of states today, it is alive and well in North Carolina; roughly 200 alienation of affection suits are filed each year here.

Nashville:
So all I hear are the following:

1. Ignore the mistress - I have my dignity
2. Deal with my husband when he comes home

Honestly speaking, if you are scared of the mistress and you think the husband will side with her, then you cannot deal with the husband. He is gone and best thing is to just leave the marriage. But that is for marriages that have completely broken down. Some marriages can still be salvaged and that was why I brought up the topic.

But the "young mistresses" of today are the wives of tomorrow. So this mistress gets married to some guy eventually and the guy later starts cheating. Please tell me the moral right she would have to challenge her husband. Forget the paper they signed in court, I do not think such ladies have any justification to challenge their husbands or their husband's mistresses since they do not see anything wrong dating a married man.
As they say, what goes around comes around. You date a married man when you are 24, your husband cheats on you when you are 34. Doesn't always happens that way though but it's all good.

I agree with what's in bold!

And no I wont still fight the mistress. Dem no dey chase men in this century.

Nonso23:
I don't understand the turn this thread suddenly took.
I thought ladies on here are advocates of 'zero tolerance for cheating in marriage'? If that is the case then the issue of confronting mistresses should be a non-issue already. Since: husband having a mistress = cheating
or is there something i'm missing?

Alright, assuming you choose to remain in the marriage then it's obvious that he is willing to work on the marriage and dump the mistress(es).

You are his wife. His mistress is your mistress. You have to do something. Not necessarily violent but equally as effective.
How about asking your husband to set up a date with the mistress for the three of you and iron out the issue as adults. With the husband openly denouncing his affliations with the woman to her face and the wife promising to file for divorce the moment the man slips up again when they get back home from the date?

Confrontations doesn't necessarily require brute force.

BTW, telling yourself that you'd rather keep your dignity doesn't solve anything. He's still having sex with the both of you. You either leave the marriage or do something to make him stop looking outside. Sitting down there and massaging your ego could fetch you aids or herpes.

Buhahaha, I can imagine a man sitting down with his wife's lover, discussing how the lover should stop poking his wife.
This people really take us for mumu o. This is an insult!

tpia6:
ok, if you are no longer interested in your two timing man, then that's different.

but to say the wife should quietly put on a stoic countenance and pretend all is well while the man is busy everywhere and turning her to a laughing stock, is hard.

it will come out somewhere else, unless she herself is doing the same thing as the man.

which one is matyr for marriage?

when the mistress is doing bad girls are the shiznit?

I did not say the wife should sit quietly. She should instead channel her fighting karate techniques to the husband. Fighting mistresses has never worked. We wouldn't be having this conversation if it ever did.

moca:
Tpia, will u fight?
U get strength?
I can just picture tpia fighting bc of her hubby
Oluwa jesu!
Madam tpia u get single bone so?
Me,i no get o!
Ben johnson is my second name.

Lol. Tpia wanna fight off women because of husband. lol So Tpia can love like this? lol Abokoku Tpia.

tpia6:
my dear, the dignity has developed wings and flown away.




your dignity is intertwined with your husband's actions once you marry.

unless you divorce him for being a philanderer, there is no dignity in watching your husband making a f.ool out of you around town.

its not about "outwaiting" the mistress and waiting for his wandering prick to come back to you.

Lol you don't get it. Did you miss where we say we would confront the husband but not the mistress? It's as simple as that!

tpia6:
so its ok for the mistress to be manic but not the wife?

if the mistress is manic and your man is still humping her regardless, what does that say?

she used juju on him?

What does that say? He's manic too now. You then expect me to fight two manic people?

tpia6:
what most of you are not getting here is IF YOUR HUSBAND IS RUNNING AROUND TOWN FREELY DISTRIBUTING HIS SERVICES LIKE A PUBLIC TAP, your dignity is already gone.

which dignity are you looking for again when another woman is busy showing off what is supposed to belong to you?

your "dignity" has vamoosed long time, you are still acting the emperor who wears no clothes, saying you have it.

your choice dear.

Naa her dignity is not gone. Dignity means your sense of self worth. It's something that stems from within, your principled nature not as a result of external factors or what somebody else did. That doesn't make sense. If you choose to lose your dignity at the dictates of what your husband (who freely distributes his services to all and sundry), then go ahead and act like an aggressive bull. On judgement day we would NOT be judged by family. Everyone would stand by themselves. So don't use someone undignifying himself to describe mine.

I'm impressed. The people have spoken!

aisha2:
The man will probably say to the mistress "You see the mad woman I have to put up with abi?" and the mistress will rub his big stomach and say "Sorry Baby I can imagine" while the wife is home going crazy dialing mistresses number calling pastor and sending text messages

Buhahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

damiso:
So what if the girl then tells you ' madam get off my phone where did you get my no are you ok do I know you what's my business with you ' amongst other tongue lashings.

How has that helped anything or helped the marriage.Not saying she will but she is well within her rights to cos you called her .

Lol, they keep on downplaying the confrontation to mere phone call or reporting to 'her' parents. lol As if a manic lover has any decency to respect a wife's phone call.

tpia6:
So while the husband is inserting his penis into the mistress, his wife's screaming will not be reverberating through his head?

What kind of sex is that where you are sweating like person wey see his dead great grandparents looking at him with ghostly eyes while he's having sex?


You folks have no experience of what you're talking about, you just want to keep your " dignity" while your husband is humping various women all over the place.

Or just say you do not have interest in fighting and the man is inconsequential to you anyway.

What is wrong in the wife keeping her dignity while the husband runs around town in heat?
Tpia if you want to fight your husband's mistress, nobody is stopping you.

coogar:
polygamy is a cultural thing in nigeria....
you cannot call it dïck wandering when you women are the ones offering yourselves to lïck the dïck.

yes, more & more men are shunning polygyny but don't expect it to die away suddenly. it's a process & hopefully, it would be a thing of the past by year 4,000.

Really Coogar? A Nigerian man needs to be offered before he wanders? Rotflmao! Do you really really believe that?

freecocoa:
This reminds me, just yesterday at my sister's place, a neighbor of hers was busy yelling at the top of her voice over the phone "I will find you and deal with you, I swear you think you can destroy my home" blah blah, she was busy yelling while her husband just drove away.

Can anyone guess where he was going?

Buhahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!

Sophyrocks:
Hahahahahhaha. I love your use of words. You cannot keep doing the same thing expecting a different result. Thats what i believe. Fighting mistresses have led to more cheating. [b]It boosts the ego of men [/b]when women fight over them. Thats a fact!!! Its just like giving punches in the air when the person to be punched is right in front of you. Complete waste of time.

That's the phrase I've been looking for. It boosts their ego when two women fight over them.

thorpido:
Na wa.How many men do you know who 'enjoy' this fighting over them?
There are many men who don't have the kind of outlook you think all men have.

Men are usually the hunters. To have women chasing or fighting over them is something new and it excites them. It heightens the ego. It's a thing of pride for men to be called players and having two women fighting over men places them on pedestals most were unable to reach in their teenage years when girls took the pleasure of rejecting them.

I don't believe it's the hardest job in the world. What do you want bricklayers to say? They should stop deceiving themselves. Nobody sent you to carry belle. It is your freaking duty to take care of the kids you bore.

Nashville:
Confronting the girl does not mean going out to fight her. It could mean calling her and giving her a warning. It could mean calling her parents. It could mean calling someone that knows her or even in her office or church or finding a way to get back at her.

It is about passing a message that - young girl you are doing wrong and you this may bite you someday. I am not sure why you women are ignoring these young girls as if what they are doing is ok. This whole thing is about demand and supply. Wandering d1cks as you call them know that there are itchy puussies out there. If there were no itchy puussies, there wouldnt be wondering d1cks. I think both sides of the equation need to be addressed and not just wondering d1cks.

One side of the equation has indeed been addressed for years and that is wives fighting other women. Nigerian housewives have perfected the art of giving mistresses uppercuts all around town. How successful has that been? Has it stopped d1ck wandering over the years? No. It's about time we faced the sole d1ck wanderer.

You can call it whatever, as far as you get the message that a man is by no means superior to a woman.

EfemenaXY:
Only a f00lish woman would leave her home, kids, business, etc to go confront a mistress. Why should she fight the man's battles for him while he sits there watching wifey embarrass herself over his shyte?
A woman can't force a man to sleep with her. The man must be a willing party for it to happen in the first place - and such a man deserves to lose his home.

I think there's an orgas..mic sensation men feel having women fight over them.
A classy woman would never embarrass herself. Even if I were this stupid to attack a mistress, I would hire people to do the dirty work for me rather than soil my fingernails in a bid to 'confront'.

How many mistresses would you confront especially in Nigeria where it's like the norm for married men to have girlfriends? Many wives have lost it in the head pursuing one mistress from the other. It's really not healthy. Those women are never happy. Gone are the days you fight another woman for a man aka 'fight for my marriage'. It has never been worth it for the female sanity. It ended up breeding wives that lose themselves. Is that what you want from your wife? A husband can tell his wife off and shout like a gramophone that he's the head but can't ward off female advances, hehehe?

Unless the mistress invades my space, or he brings her to the house.

Nashville, what you should be proposing is a manual dictating to your fellow boys how to ward off unwanted female advances. Nobody is going to fight for you people ever again. It has been proven it ain't worth it.

Going to the studio and doing a single. Definitely Christian music.
Write a book or screenplay.
Instigate an innovation and research culture in Nigeria.

Lol, Clem Ohaneze and his gigantic butt.

tpia6:
and why are you raining abuse on people who did not ask you to do anything for them? Who dont even know you?

are you ok mentally?

if a man does chores or not, what is your own problem with that?

Where did I rain abuse?

The importance of the boy-child being domestically inclined is that when he grows up,he stands on his own.That knowledge helps him take care of his personal needs not to go about looking for someone to do it for him..this is my opinion...

My own opinion is that they will stop being entitled brats seeking to frustrate the life of whoever is unfortunate to marry them.

This generation can't be cured though. A fo.ol at 40 is a fo.ol forever. It's like pouring water into a basket.

You could get learning videos for him. I don't know of any but kids in my church are sharp and when I ask their parents they often talk about some learning video. This is the time to enhance your child's brain, it's never too early to start. And also look out for his talents. Gone are those days where we just rely on academics. If you see a talent in your child, biko enhance it. It might be his money maker.

Be proud of your skin color. Don't let anyone influence you with their own insecurities. Your mom is just speaking out of her own limited reasoning influenced by the age long homage to her White masters.
Take care of your dark skin. You are very lucky to have it. I notice dark people rarely have skin issues.
Melanin protects you from the sun. Others would roast in it.
Bright skin does not mean light either. Your skin can be dark and bright. Use natural oils on your skin and keep it alive.

coogar:
there's little or no truth in the biological clock of men. several other researches have proven there's no significant risk of down syndrome in men older age unlike the women. a woman's biological clock ticks 1,000 times faster than that of men.

[img]http://igniss.blog.hr/slike/l/autizam_sizofrenija_i_dijabetes_s_muskom_dobi.png[/img]

look at the red line(men) and black line(women). whose is worse?? there are hundreds of researches on the internet & in the cases where autism or down syndrome was found with older men, it was because the older men married older women.


http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/12771769/

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/6220960/?i=4&from=/19449414/related

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/19449414/?i=8&from=/12771769/related

In all my academic life reading scientific journals, I have never ever seen such a ridiculous looking graph. That graph is not credible. Coogar confess you drew it yourself. You should have used excel, instead of your hands, lol. Where did you get it from? You would never see such a questionable looking graph on any responsible journal.

Anyway I do have access to Pubmed, and the full conclusion (as of 2003) of one of the links say that...


In addition, our evaluation of data from New York State for the 15-year study period showed a substantial demographic shift in parental age with more mothers and fathers older than 35 years than ever before. This group is at highest risk for children with Down syndrome or other age related genetic abnormalities. A recent study showed that children born to older fathers were at higher risk for schizophrenia. 19 It is known that certain autosomal dominant diseases, such as achondroplasia, neurofibromatosis, Marfan syndrome, osteogenesis imperfecta, Treacher-Collins-Franschetti syndrome, Waardenberg’s syndrome, thanatophoric dysplasia and Alport’s syndrome, are associated with older fathers, probably via de novo, single gene mutations in sperm that can be passed on to children. 20 Our finding of a paternal contribution to trisomy indicates a larger structural chromosomal risk than had previously been appreciated. It is our belief that increased paternal age as well as maternal age may be responsible for a wide variety of health problems in children. This effect has been underestimated and warrants further research.

CONCLUSIONS
With increasing paternal age an increase in the rate of Down syndrome is seen in women 35 years of age and older. The increase in the rate of Down syndrome for women in this age group is likely a result of a combination affect of maternal and paternal factors. Considering that the population of parents is older than ever before the paternal age affect is significant and should be addressed during counseling. Young couples preparing for family planning must be aware that advanced parental age may not only result in increasing difficulties with fertility for the parents but that children born to older parents may be at higher risk for genetic abnormalities. Lastly, the adverse effect of advanced paternal age on Down syndrome may represent a paradigm for other genetic abnormalities in children of older fathers that must be addressed in future studies.


Gone are the days where we write off the ages of men. Women shine ya eye.

It's unfortunate when good people get entangled with people who have mastered the art of playing mind games. Such people would frustrate you and soon you will learn from them and begin to act like them.