₦airaland Forum

izaray:
Op, learn how to forgive and forget, she loves you which u had mentioned earlier!! They is no relationship that is perfect, even the married couples have their short-comings! But it all depends on how u handle it.

If u keeps taking things like this so serious in a mere relationship, then how about when u are married Dnt tell me you are the kind of husband that forgives his wife in a family meetings and still denies her food when he gets to the house !!!

Secondly, use this opportunity to correct/or that thing you know she has been doing that you don't like!! Being in a r/ship is supposed to be a thing of joy & Pleasure, mostly when the people involved are both in love with each other!!

So, wake-up guy and safe urself the stress!! No offense brh

I hv noticed that the reactions to the post had suddenly become a gender war

The female folks have defended what the lady in question said claiming it was a reactive verbal punch that the guy should have taken in good fate. Is it co-incident that most ladies say things they later regret in the heat of an argument? Have you ever seen 2 ladies quarelling? They say things.

The bottomline is people should learn to control their utterances especially when angry

eiBADAn:
Guy, well said. If you do 99 things for a girl, it's the one thing you didn't that she would remember. If I make 300k a month, her personal budget is already over half of it and when there's an argument, she remembers one stupid thing I didn't buy or get for her, I'm talking about my gf. What do I do in my own case? She's not working cuz she's still searching. Let's assume I have 700k now, her budget would be 450k when I finish calculating expenses. She would do hair, change nails, buy makeup, but expensive creams, buy new clothes even tho she just bought few weeks back. She wants to send money to her mom, to her sister, to her brother. She's owing her friend, she has to pay. I do all these and the smallest argument we have, she would suddenly remember one stupid thing I didn't buy for her. How long do I keep up with these. O ti su mi o.

Guy, except you are joking o, if what you said is true, guy you epitomize a 21st century maga

Guys like u are the reason some girls take boyfriending as a source of income, do u think she would have used her money for all these?

Do u spend that percentage of ur monthly earning on ur future, haba, how could u spend so much on a girl that might even leave u at any time?

Educational qualification has nothing to do with marriage.

Our generation has lost it entirely

The OP might sound silly but that thought have crossed my mind too. This thought is only the testament to the fact that you shd appreciate whateva God gave you and dont long for what u dont have

This only happens in Nollywood movies

Bro, i affirm that your wife is neither a bad nor a wrong person, she only has a defiant and variant outlook about life. Dont ever decide on keeping your activities from her as against what others have been advising you. Doing things your wife is against in secret will only aggravate the feud when she finds out and she will one day.

The best approach is to work on her mindset, let her know the concept of sowing and reaping, let her know the table might turn one day, let her know the myth of giving and recieving.

Let me open your mind to something, Keeping this from her could mean you have the tendency of keeping out deeper secrets, in fact it means there could be other secrets somewhere. Now imagine what this thought in her would do to your marriage.

ronald4lif:
In a world where people marry for personal gains and selfish interest I see no reason why any man will father a child without DNA, that's why I added reasonable ones and not those blinded by imaginary love. DNA should be a must, well perhaps to me.

But that's not even the issue as a woman who want to cheat would ensure she's on contraceptives whenever she mates her side lover or insist he puts on a condom so there won't be any pregnancy in the process of her extra marital affairs.

I don't have a problem with a woman cheating on me really and I also expect she feel same to me provided none of us get busted. But here's the catch, once I find out the marriage is over. She can also decide to put an end to the marriage if I'm caught but one thing I'm certain about is that I can't stick to one woman forever without having flings once in a while.

And in any event my relationship or marriage crumbles I move on to the next one. Relationship or marriage shouldn't be an evermore journey after all.

This is the reasons why a lady/guy shd discuss at length with the partner, you can only know someone you talk with extensively. The opinion above says a lot about this person and the kind of future he wants for himself except its a kind of prank.

You wont stick to one partner your entire life and you dont mind if your wife flies around but if you get her, its the end of the marriage and she can do same if its the other way round. Haba

There is no such thing as a wrong person, she only has a wrong mentality about relationships and interdependability. This is the reason why i take everything a partner tells me seriously, every trait is prerequisie to something serious. When she told u she left her ex because of the number of dependants attached to him what were you thinking sir? It means if this issue with your bro had come up before she married you she would have looked for a BETTER person, and i must tell you, thats what she is thinking right now.

Its a reflection of her (and many people) outlook to life and people, she believes everyone should cater for his/herself but life is not that way, one might be on the other end of the table in 5 years. You only need to talk to her gradually and in love, it will shock you to know that women like this will stick with you even if you have nothing, they just dont want anything to interfere with their comfort.

Like i said, talk to her so she can understand that there is no greater investment than helping others, not your family members alone. Gradually, she will come to your page

FRANKOXY:
Any man that doesn't cheat is either working long hours or has a dead dick. Am single but anyone can quote me.

Are you serious about this opinion?

The OP is only being sincere and giving tips on how to adapt to the changing time but shud we fold our hands and allow sin and confusion rule our lives? I dont think we shd keep rationalizing and validating our lustful desires

The issue we have is this, we expect people to change dramatically or should i call it supernaturally in their later years, which is a pipe dream. That sweet, charming, smart, butterfly-feeling giving, manipulative, lady's boy you came acrosss in the club, on the street, or at a party will not change overnight. These fruits i described above and more characterize a perfect playboy which is the dream of every or most ladies. Someone once said if a lady describes her ideal man, she will have suceeded in painting the most skilled playboy. So maybe you should start by minding what you wish for.

Also, iv always opined that anyone who has the nerve to date 2 or more people at the same time have the proclivity of cheating in marriage. If you have this tendency at all, face it and fight it. These are the kind of thing to look out for in a partner, not height and complexion which give no happiness.

Iamsynord:
(Unbelievable) See What The Pastor Did Because Of Valentine


.Really pissed off right now. At today's service, the Pastor placed a curse on anyone who had any sexual activity with any one during this year valentine.He even went as far as saying none of the church members should celebrate val this year and if they do,they will face Gods wrath as that was the so called instruction given to him, People is this not totally wrong and condemable. ? Why should people be caged from showing love when God himself is love ? From a female friend

The big question is, what is valentine's day?

If it takes the valentine's days to celebrate love or show love to your wife or partner then something is fundermentally wrong.

Its not a sin in itself but what is the content of the so-called secular music. A christian must do thing that glorify God

Fasting is a period of seclusion from the normal just to devote your time to God in prayer. You can set your personal time, 12am to 6pm is the time set by someone which your arent obliged to comform to

udmbat:
I sometimes imagine what advice a tattooed man/woman would give his/her grandchild when they grow old. Pathetic.

Such people do not think about next week talk more of the future generation, they only think of themselves and now, they dont think of their children and grandchildren

Dotmax53:
Fellow Nairalanders

Please i and my parents needs your contributions..My 28 years old sister who is a fresh graduate from the University summoned my parents and I that she got a fiance who was ready for marriage already...We were at least excited and joyously ask her to invite her fiance for proper introduction..Lastweek sunday was the said date,so we joyously went ahead in preparation on his arrival,preparing delicious meals to appease his arrival...He finally arrived and my dad asked him his occupation, what i heard was so disappointing...a SHOE MAKER for a Medicine graduate...i had to pretend as if notting seems wrong until the said guy departed..We summoned my Sister again and she said '' I love him and must marry him no matter what'' ...

Was she charmed or what??

This issue is really drilling the heart of my parents and i.
Can we help this situation or we just allow her to suit herself??

MOD'S please we need urgent responses

I ran into this conclusion a long time ago, the only thing we learn in school is pride. There is this destructive pride that comes with education

Why do educated people see people who didnt go to school as less human, like lower animals?

fedex01:
Christianity is a fake religion exploiting poor Africans. It came to Africa through European white colonization.

We should go towards our own traditional religion which was Islam.

Did you say our traditional religion was islam? Subuhanalilah! If as a muslim you dont know the history of how Islam came to Nigeria then you know so little.

Its quite pathetic how christianity and the church is gradually becoming like the other religion where people cant think properly and its an offence to read, understand and act/live out the christlike lifestyle practically described in the Bible.

Christian means christ-like, we are meant to act like christ, we should be the bible the world reads and the pastors are saddled with the responsibility of educating and encouraging us to live like christ. Christians should be very well acquainted with the bible which is the universal manual, the bible should be the reference point not what anyother human tells you.

Read through the bible to see how the church started and grew, building the church auditoriums isnt given much importance, what was emphasized was giving to the poor, widow and the needy. Today the message is about giving, giving and giving. Pastor hardly talk about hell and paradise, spiritual emphasis, loving everybody etc

Christianity is recently about manipulation, Pastors quote "will a man rob God" more than any other part of the bible. If a "Man of God" successfully manipulates you then you have chosen a remain a baby chrsitian which Apostle Paul spoke about.

NaijaOptimist:
Can one become rich as a salary earner?Without other or additional means of income, and without corruption?

Having read all the analysis and comments, its the right time to chip in somethings.

I have known since childhood that earnings doesnt always translate to what we feed on in reality, your salary is not what you really live on. When you divide your salary by 30 days, what you get is outrageously laughable. Many people earn less than 30k per month in Nigeria, divide that by 30 and you get 1k, can you imagine that many working class graduates live on 1k or thereabout every day? Considering the things we do daily, weekly and monthl;, we eat, buy recharge cards, CDs, fuel, data, clothes, etc, can you now see that the reality doesnt correlate with whats on the payslip.

What does it really mean to be rich? For a start, being rich means having things in abundance. In this age and time, the chances of getting things in abundance is slim, i am a realist and i dont practice duplicity or narcissism. If you want to chase abundance, you will be practicing covetueousness and discontentment.

NaijaOptimist:
Can one become rich as a salary earner?Without other or additional means of income, and without corruption?

Having read all the analysis and comments, its the right time to chip in somethings.

I have known since childhood that earnings doesnt always translate to what we feed on in reality, your salary is not what you really live on. When you divide your salary by 30 days, what you get is outrageously laughable. Many people earn less than 30k per month in Nigeria, divide that by 30 and you get 1k, can you imagine that many working class graduates live on 1k or thereabout every day? Considering the things we do daily, weekly and monthl;, we eat, buy recharge cards, CDs, fuel, data, clothes, etc, can you now see that the reality doesnt correlate with whats on the payslip.

What does it mean to be rich? For a start, being rich means having things in abundance. In this age and time, the chances of getting things in abundance is slim,

Gentleveks:
Why is this rampant? 80% of the wedding i attended last year had a pregnant bride (these bride where not impregnated by mistake but they duely consented to it) pls lalasticlala i want an answer.

Its a perfect testament to the widely discussed moral decadence that has lamentably enveloped our sense of existence as a generation. We live at a time where doing the right thing is seen as sheer blindness to trend and where people go where the wind blows.

Because of the delay in childbirth, conception and infertility issue experienced in recent time, people have opted for alternative ways of getting along just to keep up with the flow.

What baffles me most is people would rather engage in sinful activities just to increase the world population than be obedient to God.

Yksoul:
22 YOU MISS TRANSFER OF SPIRITUAL PROBLEMS THROUGH SEX.

This is one thing people dont know about premmarital ssex with different partners, the numerous danger far outweights the pleasure

Classicman47:
U know NOTHING my niqqa

You know everything nigga, you are wiser than 57 king Solomons put together

Was it not you who wrote "Race to Gboko"

joliyp:
I met this guy not quite long on a social media, we are friends and I think he wants me but too shy to express his desire. He barely looks into my eyes and whenever am close to him, he tends to develop cold feet: I think I like him but how long do I wait for him ...maybe because we are not on the same level ? am a working class Lady and he is still in school





Should I ask him out or wait for another guy? I like him alot.

I understand u but dont you ever ask a guy out, its unafrican, its unnigerian, its unbiblical, its unreligious, its unwomanlike, its uncultural.

Keep your integrity intact, dont trade it for anything, all the money in the world cant purchase it.

Some media and trend-engrossed dudes will tell you things have changed, we live in the jet age, its a modern world, dont buy it.

A guy who loves you will always find a way to go about it and what is meant for you will not defile logic and norm

DouchessPunkyII:
Lol, not true for all. He's just the one you can't forget. You may lose count after the 2nd or 3rd but you'll always remember the 1st. I say this because I feel no special bond to the guy but even if you woke me up in the middle of the night, catch me unawares to ask me who it was, I'll say it without hesitation. Now ask me who number 101 is I don't know

Number 101? Ha Anty Nurse

In reality, the probable likeness they have the proclivity of developing is a form of societal allution, its born out of mental disillusionment. It is learnt, its what they met or heard other girls say. It is the norm but its a fictitious attachment.

If you are talking about remembering who the 1st person wasyes, even guys dont forget who the 1st girl was, but talking about attachment, its a generational fiction

For me, deciding against marrying a girl because she is alleged to be dirty is totally lame and unguided, its too secular and detrimental. As a spiritual being, i am sure the choice of who to marry shdnt be logical, let God guide you.
Applying logic doesnt work, thinking someone is dirty, short or dark is technical. What someone looks like today has no bearing on they will eventually become. What if it was you who is dirty, do you think you are so perfect that there are no snag that could make a girl turn you down as well?
The societal system scripted us to think and act judgementally, hence we naturally reject whatever doesnt comform to certain human standards.
In serious relationships and marriages, we must learn to manage weaknessess and differences
Bro, i must tell you, going through a family kitchen and taking pictures of their dirtiness then posting it on social media is a deep weakness

The strangest truth about life is, what you confess is what you possess. Whatever you call a man/woman is what will come your way
How do you give a man/woman these kind of definitions and expect a happy marriage

thefirstborn:
Dear Nairalander,

Help out with your candid advice.

I have two ladies that are close to me. Lady A is more mature than the other and more beautiful. But she could be proud at times. I am crazy about her, she loves me but not as much as I love her.
Lady B, is younger than Lady A by 3 years. She adores and loves me deeply. And would do anything for me. But I don't love her as much as I love the first Lady. With respect to character, she is more humble and gentle than Lady A. But she doesn't excite me as much as the other lady

Who would you advise me to marry? The lady that loves me most or the lady I love most?

The big question is what excite you in life?

Marriage is not about excitement bro, pray for God's direction and dont follow your logic, it has failed everyone

We have lost out sense of morality totally in this generation, so its actually strange and wrong not to fornicate

I will rather be called names and please God

marvelck:
This goes out to guys who are fond of hurting/deceiving girls intentionally... Don't think that girl you have been dating for like 3 years, and who has been giving you enough love and care all this while is happy just being a girlfriend when all her mates are getting married every weekend while you are busy delaying things and enjoying all the privileges of a wife from her.

If care is not taken, she might start having or looking at other options, since her biological clock (or goals) runs faster than yours. And before you know it, you wil be surprised to hear she's getting married soon to someone else. Bros, stop wasting time, and stop playing with the hearts of ladies. When a woman loves a guy dearly, she'll be willing to make sacrifice for the guy. She will be willing to wait and also endure. But mind you, there is a limit to every woman's patience. Women work on time... Lets do what's right for the sake of love!

At what point should the components of relationship start discussing the direction, lifeline and lifespan of a relationship?

Who is a stingy person? I have never gotten a reasonable response to this.

Well, an intelligent girl will focus more on the frequency of this kind of scenerio you painted. Is it the 1st time you are visiting him? Has he been doing this? Did he entertain you when you visited? Could he have had a rocky path in his past relationships? What does other people say about him? A girl who has intergrity, who is not greedy and who is ready for a serious relationship will consider these questions and more.
You dont just jump into conclusion after one visit and label someone as being stingy.

An African proverb says a greedy person can never be a friend to a stingy person

This is the way the rich live in Nigeria, they enrich themselves at the expense of the poor.

A group of people share the money that was meant to alleviate the security issue in the country, risking the lives of millions of people.

Its the same thing with power, education, oil, and even sport, could you imagine that the U23 dream team have not been paid their match bonus and are already threatening that they wont play the final match, Oliseh and siasia have not been paid their salary.

The rich are the ones ruining the country