AcesIni:
a girl posted the following about sex on facebook and it's causing a debate. what do you think

The devil has a way of manipulating people's destiny. Would you rather go about looking for avenues to quench your perverseness?

Every living thing who has marriage in mind knows how salient the subject is, even children do, so why provoke lust if you dont intend to defile the bed?

The question is, after discussing this then what? Will you leave someone because they have a different sexual drive and orientation from you?

Will you not have suceeded in allowing the devil dance Alanta with your joy if you leave a destined spouse?

Marriage has lots of components so one part should not be overflogged in the media

Honestly, the last generation had failed in its fundermental responsiblilty of transferring basic knowledge to this generation.

May God help us

BreezyRita:


Dating a GOOD guy could get boring.

#Dont say I told you

Ive blatantly made my point, the devil has a way of playing his game, just watch out

BreezyRita:

The only reason SOME girls prefer "bad guys" is the devil is playing LUDO with their lives. It sounds harsh, right? OK, how do you expect a case where u chose a bad thing ahead of the good one. If the devil were not dancing Alanta with ur life, how, in the name of adventure, will you prefer a gentle man to a BAD fellow, thats what they call it BAD guy.

Wanting a bad guy is only a honest reflection of who you are. Out of the abundance of the heart . . . . . . .

What are the characteristics of a bad guy? He is the direct opposite of a good/ gentle. He takes u for granted, he makes u feel less of a woman, he womanizes without remorse, he is a serial liar, he doesnt respect ur familes and friends. He is a bad person. Something must be fundermentally wrong if your preference goes with a bad person

The most unfortunate thing is, most of those gals who prefer bad guys are the same crop of gals who go about saying all men are the same, all men are cheat, all men are evil but the issue is you preferred a cheat ahead of a gentle man

The devil has a way of manipulating people's destiny. He has a way of stealing people's happiness and peace.

stupidity:
I mean what on earth is she gonna do with it? For the first time I invited her over coz she had been wanting to know my place. She met me eating fried rice and salad with 5 alive featuring the meal. My bad!!! I did not ask her to join me, she just sat salivating and lost interest in the telemundo I tuned for her. Is that enough reason to steal my remote? The damn thing is stuck on telemundo.

She will be back for the decoder, mark my word.

Jarizod:

Now the question is

As a man, can You marry a lady that is 5 to 15 years older than yourself, If so state your reasons

And to the ladies, can u marry a man who is old enough to be your grandfather

If yes, state your reasons, If No, still state your reasons

A lady will only marry a guy she is 5 to 10 years older only under these 2 conditions

1. If money is involved. Im talking about big money

2. If she is 36+

2sex:
I am just wondering why man Nigerian men would with either avoid such or try to convert them into a full time house wife?

Let me start by saying your level of exposure is inversely proportional to your happiness (i have a concise writeup on this)

Career women have the kind of exposure that is not favourable for marriage, whats the point marrying someone who will not give you happiness. Most career women are contentious, and you know what the bible says about a contentious women.

Most career women are not submissive, even the so-called christians. Anyone who has to questions the level of submission she should give in the marriage shouldnt call herself a christian. Submission, as well as love, is a commanded requirement for marriage. If you cant give it, pls dont bother yoursef about marriage.

Most women career are rude because they have the view that they are equal to men and have been standing shoulder to shoulder with men, they have been in the same academic level as men and probably performed better than some men. So some of them go into marriage with this mindset and display rudeness to their husband, sometime unknowingly but most times they see nothing wrong in contending with the husband.

Most men will rather marry a tailor or an uneducated women than marry a career woman. Happiness is the key in marriage and home, its about someone who can provide them besides, education status has nothng to do with marriage.

atoleybaba:
if u refuse to leave wrong or false doctrine how will u grow spiritually anyways may God cont to guide u

Do you mean my believe in TRINITY is wrong or is a false believe?

May i ask a question pls, where do u worship?

atoleybaba:
d belief in Trinity is a pagan doctrine sir....Jesus is not God he himself said h is not God. Three is nothing like trinity in d bible...Jehovah God and Jesus and holy spirit and diff beings. Jehovah is God Jesus is his first being creation holy spirit is God active force which he uses to complete his task and bestow on us to protect and give us good sense of understanding did bible.

I absolutely understand that some faith do not believe in the trinity, and iv even heard some people say "trinity" wasnt mentioned in the bible. Well, i will respectfully chose to think everyone is entitled to his/her desision.

mannasy:
i dont mean to offend anyone or cause a debate here,just curious about what christians say.I have a few questions which are:
(1) if jesus was on earth when he was born who was up in the heaven.
(2)why must jesus die for our sin when he is the one that forgives,why not just forgive us and that is it.
(3)And i heard he eats and drink,which is not befitting to god to have urges of hunger and thirst.
(4)lastly is jesus the God himself or is his son.
please someone with the knowledge of christianity should answer

Someone already said you wont understand any explanation, the fact is you cant view Christianity through a pragmatic prism, its more than science or philosophy. But I will try to make you understand anyway

1 Have you ever heard of the trinity, God the father, the son and the holy spirit, call it 3 in 1. Will you understand it if I call it a bundle that has 3 diff components where each segment represents and can replace the other. So Jesus was on earth then God the father was in heaven. Jesus said I and the father are one.

2 When God created the 1st Adam, satan defeated him. Adam was a perfect refined man without blemish but by falling for the devil he contaminated his blood hence the need for a 2nd Adam became necessary. The blood of Jesus, the 2nd Adam, was needed to pay for the sin of mankind and to elevate man from the dungeon which the the 1st Adam had dragged mankind into.

3 God the son, Jesus, came to the earth as a man to live among human and don’t human eat? Where you expecting the kind of Nickolas cage or Jumong kind of superhuman? He is not a magician, Jesus lived as the lowly, dining and wining with people, he even attended a wedding, rode on a donkey and what have you.

4 It’s the trinity. Like I explained above, God the father, the son and the holy spirit is a pack with 3 different components


But i think religion shouldnt be percieved with such mindset. Serve your God and love everybody, is there any logic in trying to discredit another man's believe?

What makes Sunday different from other days?

Searching for a husband/wife has become more frustrating than ever before. Its absolutely unthinkable that our parents who didnt do courtship and in most cases, never met until the issue of marriage creep in lived happily and last much longer than in modern day marriage where couples claimed they must know each other first.

Overtime, study has established that our choices of who to marry can be traceable to one of these 3 sources:

1) Logic: by this i mean you following your instinct, using your expiriences or that of others to draw conclusions. You believe 2 + 2 will always give you 4, you have studied that left-handed people are always aggressive, short people are always violent, people from a particular state are always stingy, uneducated people are always stubborn, believing something that happen to one aunty in your church is the benchmark for everybody etc. People have historically chosen their partners based on such deductions which had brought varied results.

2) Emotion: people had based their marital decisions on feelings and attractions, you must have heard of the "love at first sight" mantra, yea, that was what actually promted some union. Im talking about marrying someone because of the butterfly feeling their thought and presence give you. Age and record had shown us that feelings are temporary and fade away with time, emotions are manipulative in nature and having a specific kind of feeling for someone doesnt necessarily means the person will have the same feeling for you, in other word, feelings are not reciprocal.

3) God: there is a different school of thought which holds the view that God is the creator of marriage, the perception states that Adam didnt ask for a wife, it was God who saw that it wasnt good for the man to be alone, hence, to choose a wife, its good to go back to God to give you the bone of your bone and the flesh of your flesh. A certain rib was taken off Adam, out of which Eve was formed, this school of thought believe that a woman has been attached to each man by God even before both were concieved.

Whats your opinion about what the source of a wife/husband should be?

PMBlackett:
A lady has rights to turn down any man. Not every man that approaches a lady is her future husband. Neither does a lady turn down every man that approaches her. In order for a lady to know the true intentions of a man approaching her, certain behavioural walls have to be but in place. They are not negative. That a lady turns you down doesn't mean she'll turn down the next man, it's not by force for her to like you. If a lady dislikes you, she'll put up behaviours foreign to her, to make you lose interest in her, and leave her the fvck alone. . .

The same set of people condemning ladies behaviours with myopic 10 point views, are the same set of people that'll condemn her for being too open and accommodating to every man that approaches her, with 10 point views.

Hypocrisy abounds.

Your true colour or ur real nature is the one you display when dealing with the person you dont want.

If anything makes you put on a disrespectful or rude behavour, that who you are, and come to think of it, what if that person you claim you dont want is the husband that will bring you evalasting happiness but you chase him away rudely.

Bozzax:
Your thread is erroneous in itself.

You can't scare your future husband away. It's destiny and it can't be changed.
If a lady has been destined to marry someone, she will marry the person, no matter what character she exhibits, no matter what she does wrong.

By your logic, every marriage is exactly the way God destined it to be. Do you mean there are no wrong marriages?

Let me cut it short dude, to fulfil your destiny, pray without season and dont follow trend

Mademoiselle24:
As an unmarried lady who is planning to get married someday to man of her dreams. U know u av to be in a relationship first before other thing will follow. Now, u want a godly relationship because of ur relgious beliefs (christainty on my own part). When I say godly relationship, I mean relationships dt will nt make u do things against the will of God.

But it seems almost impossible for two people who are in luv not to want to get 'physical' at times. No matter how godly both parties are.

So shd one jst be patient until u are very sure u goin to get married to the person and av a short courtship devoid of immorality or is it actually possible to maintain a long term relationship without displeasing God?

Thanks in advance for ur matured contributions

There is no such thing as "man of your dream", it doesnt exist. Its a media futile propaganda

To the post, I think you have answered the question in your write-up. Relationship is not a thing to be tried out when you arent matured for marriage, the 1st 25 years of your life shd be spent working on your future, its not a time to indulge in needless relationships considering what happens in our world today. Marriage shd be the sole aim of relationships, so when u are not really dont do unnecessary corelation

Then let God lead you. Dont allow your logic tell you what is right and what isnt.

In an event of domestic or wild violence, partial seperation is logically recommended.

Some things are better imagined than experienced, but i am sure if ur husband's daughter(your supposed son-in-law) had given her black eyes, broken nose, twisted wrist severally, you wouldnt see anything wrong in asking her to stay away from his for sometimes to get himself sorted.

Considering the number of women that had lost their lives due to physical attack by their violent husband, partial seperation is strongly and logically recommended

sweetorgasm:
THE question is straight and forward, does a lady's level of education determines if she is going to be a good wife, a good partner, great mom for the kids and above all a good home planner?

There is this arrogance and pride that comes with education in this part of the world that kills marriage.

I was telling a lady yesterday that chances are high of having a successful marriage and happy family with an uneducated lady than with a graduate. The reason is an uneducated lady will most likely reflect those traits that make marriage works, like submission, but discuss the concept of submission with a graduate lady and you will get the idea of what i mean.

Most educated ladies expect their male counterparts to think and act like the whites, which has never been a success. Regardless of how educated an African man is, his ego and self-esteem would never be traded for anything.

Marriage is about companionship and happiness, so one should get married to anyone who can warmly provide it. Education has never been a factor for having a successful marriage, this is a proven fact.

The unfortunate thing is, most people would rather prioritize thier outlook than have a happy and successful marriage.

Most graduates would rather get married to a graduate because of how people will view the and remain unhappy for life than marry someone who cant speak good english but would rather make them happy.

missclasssy:
Why is it that most guys think they are so smart, that they can break someone's heart and just move on like it's nothing?

Guys, why do most of you think that you can mess with the life of a girl and just ride off merrily into the sunset, and you still do the same with subsequent ladies?

Why do most of you enter a relationship having the mindset that you are going to just use a lady and move on, and you still do it and feel no remorse?

Don't you know that we are humans and we have feelings and we have emotions? Why do you toil with our hearts like it's your play field?
Why are most of you this heartless, why?

Most of you need to be tied up and burnt at a stake for the gross wickedness you show ladies, and I mean it.

Rubbish!

Would this ever stop? No, I dont think so

As long as gals keep choosing guys because of height, financial status, the kind of comfort a guy can provide, the kind of car he drives, education status, eloquence, etc this issue the OP painted will NEVER cease.

I think this tread has finally answered why most gals will cross 36 bf dey get married.

The other tread that said ladies; why are you single shud be closes pls.

The great question is how many men earns more than 50k?

How do you marry a lady that has proven to you she wudnt have considered you if u were earning less than 50k?

umukorophillip:
Is this not ignorance: what is the reason why some girls are fond of ignoring their male counterpart on social networks like whatsapp, bbm, badoo, facebook, 2go etc. yet they pray and fast for husbands to come and marry them? Guys please i need your opinion.

The big question is what decent girl agrees to date or marry some random social media guy?

This gal doesn't love you one bit and the fact that she is attaching this to love means she is a gold digging manipulator.
I've dated her type and I can boldly tell you that it will never work.
pls discuss this with a very matured man

gentle1010:
I'm 29, in love and have been dating a lady of 25, we met during our NYSC, we love each other and plan to get married. The problem here is that I've not gotten a job but I've been making little money through my hard work as a technician, both in computer and electrical, I got her a small job where she earns 20k, rent house for her and still manage to give her small small money for her up keep. I give her all the natural respects a woman deserves. The problem now is that she doesn't respect me, she take me for granted, doesn't care about how I feel. If she offend me and I try to talk to her about that, she'll ignore me to the core. I'm confused, I don't know what is happening and I've built my life all around her. Please advice me on what to do

That's how gals behave when they are double dating, u simply don't know this fact

jadaugo:
i am not surprised that most independent women are not married...the truth is no African man can live with most of them. They are so rude, so bossy headed and bitchy and very mean. It's so bad that they think that no man can tell them what to do.

pls am i the only one who has noticed this?

Permit me to shock you with this fact

The only reason an African woman will remain loyal and submissive to you is because of money.

The day she becomes independent the man looses his God-given relevance.

The day a woman believe she can have and do anything with money on her own she wouldnt see the reason to respect anybody anymore, especially, a man.

Doesnt this explain the reason behind the high population of matured single ladies everywhere?

youmour:
I have heard the most absurd excuses from my friends,and im curious to know if the population of men out there excuses is the same.

One said the girl was coming on too strong and he wanted to just quench her thirst.

While another said he's main girl doesnt like sex that much like he does.



So ladies and gentlemen on nairaland
why do YOU cheat?

Anyone who can think deeply will not cheat. Its one of those things people do to destroy their glorious future.

Its the trend these days.
But this issue didnt start with her, neither will it end with her.
Let me give the analysis of how this came from the past generation, our generation only blew it out of proportion.

In the past, people experienced heartbreaks, people were jilted months to their wedding after long relationships, and to be frank this affected ladies more, even if it didnt happened to you, it affected someone you knew, maybe one aunty rose or aunty sharon on your street.
Hence, in order not to be a victim and to avoid stories that touch, people thought out a solution.
The solution was to have the main person you really want to get married to, then to have plan B, plan C and maybe plan D.

I can assure you that most people who double date dont even know the reason why they do it, they believe its fun but this is just the reason. Its an unconscious mindset that has become a part of our existence, it came out of guarding against being a victim. Nobody wants to be beaten like a metal.

You will hardly see a soul that has just one partner, cheating and double dating is seen as a necessity, as a matter of fact, most parents encourage having these options, in case one fails the other would not.

However, having these options create more confusion and distractions than you can ever imagine. Have you ever heard people asked if its possible to love 2 or 3 people at the same time? Ya, thats the kind of confusion it brings with it. This has destroyed many lives and relationships. While some people can cope with a cheating partner, some other people like me cant. Only a cheat should/can logically understand a cheat, i practice honesty and faithfulness to a fault. Iv never cheated on a partner, so how do i understand a cheating gal.

It doesnt stop there. Can you see the level of moral decadence and infidelity in marriages? This is how it starts. People go about having 2 to 5 partners believing once they get married they will stop.

A cheat will remain a cheat. Cheating is a mindset.

@ Poster, I have a word for u.

I used to find myself in that triangle of dating older gals bt I rejected it. Nothing is wrong with it elsewhere in other part of the world but in Nigeria and in Africa at large, just don't try it.

An African woman is wired in an entirely different way

If a Nigerian gal is ahead of you in anything, then u are in trouble. Study matured guys and u will get a clearer picture of this.

If a gal is taller than u, u are in trouble, if she is richer than u, it is wahala, talk more of being older.

You probably should take a twist in your dating game and don't get caught up in this pathetic web you are staring at. Date younger gals

Most gals would tell u, now that u are in your 20s, say u are 23 and she is 27, that over their dead bodies. But in 10 years time when u will be 33 and she 37, she will tell u age is nothing but numbers

Guy I will say it again, pray against it now that u still have time. It works only 3% of the time.

Don't turn yourself to Jeremiah, you know how much he lamented

The only reason most of them are rude is what you peg at Number 2.

As soon as a gal starts getting toasters and boyfriend she starts comparing everyone she comes across with those guys.

If a gal once dated Tinubu, as far as she is concerned she is a governor

If a gal once dated a senator, she sees herself as a senator and compares everyone that crosses her path with a governor and senator

If a gal once dated a very tall or rich guy, she wud compare anyone that crosses her path with these guys

So na there the wahala come from

nairabetguru:
Dear Aunty Ngozi,

Please what does one do with a stingy boyfriend?

Apart from his 'aka aradite' this man is very nice and handsome and all those other things but the stinginess is in a class of its own. Hmmm, one time he bought me an £80 pair of shoes and I thought he had been cured, next thing he borrowed £75 from me that I haven’t seen till today.

That was September last year.

My sister said I should drop him like he's hot, but I am still hoping he can be saved, and that you can tell me how to cure his problem. I will follow your advice to the letter, pls help me!

Titi




PS: I saw this online and i thought i should share

The Greedy and the stingy fellow can never walk together.

A greedy person will never be a friend to a stingy person

Why do people depend on other people's money to live their lives? Why cant people be responsible for their lives?

Iv never bin able to understand what it means to be stingy

Iv seen gals who don't depend on guys for anything, and incase you don't you A GAL WHO DOESNT ASK FOR ANYTHING DESERVES EVERYTHING

ArslordBaba:
This has separated many couples around the world.... Should any excuse given when it is time to have fun with one's wife... tiredness, headache, etc.

Iv read your post and the reasons she gave. Did you forced her into the marriage?

Marriage is for people who are ready in every ramfication; emotionally, physically and mentally

She is either not ready or was forced into marriage.

There are things matured people dont do.

Teebashy:
I do ask myself this question and i can't get the right answer to it
Why do some men do maltreat their wives after marriage
I always thought they knew her in and out, knew her behaviour before marry her.
If I see a married woman complaining about how her husband is behaving in the house, it do scared me about getting married

The 4th line of your post says it all

**I always thought they knew her in and out, knew her behaviour before marry her.**

I should also think she knew him in and out before marrying him so she should've known he would maltreat her.

pumacy:
Hey Folks

Pls i need your help. I got married few months ago and its really beautiful, i'm enjoying every minute of it. To be straight, my husband loves sex but he doesn't last long. He barely last 3 mins and it takes him another 2 hours to be fit again. I love making love with him too but usually i don't get satified because he doesn't last long. Cheating is not even an option, solving the present issue is priority. I'm in my late twenties while he is in his early thirties. I have been a guest for long but his issue made me create an account. Pls what do you think i should do to help him? Matured responses pls. Thanks in advance

This is the major danger of premarital sex. How did u know there is a different experience from the one he is giving you if you were not comparing him with some experiences.

Do you know that most of the sexual issues couples are faced with would not exist if singles can stay away from premarital sex, the harm it generates is unquantifiable.

It brings with it unquenchable comparison and insatiable sexual hunch.

Imagine it, if u are ever gonna have sex with your husband/wife ONLY in your entire life, the experience you will have is what you will ever know. The thought and knowledge that there is a different experience elsewhere is at the heart of most sinful activities, marital fracas and bitterness in marriages.

As for the solution out of this issue, he should take agbo jedi jedi very well.

Honestly, this is true.

I just cant understand why this issue has become more serious than one can imagine.

I was discussing this with a group of people yesterday. You will hardly see guys/gals with just one partner and the outcome is what we are seeing in marriages.

If you dont want your marriage to be like the general marriage we see everywhere dont do what they do.

Anyone who cant stick to one partner cant be faithful in marriage.

If you cant be faithful and truthful do you think you deserve a peaceful and successful marriage?