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Swiftycool's Posts

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Crime / Re: Crazy Real Life robberies /Crime Stories by swiftycool(m): 5:36pm On Jun 28, 2012
Talking bout cult raids like above I have some cult stories deadly ones and of course some funny ones. Ill be back in a bitty, mek I go wack first grin
Crime / Re: Crazy Real Life robberies /Crime Stories by swiftycool(m): 5:32pm On Jun 28, 2012
salemdv: I ve 3 xperience 2 share, 1st was in 2007, i nd my pals were having a nice chat on a cool thursdy evening, suddenly we heard a gun shot, o boy cme c as guys tear race.. Within secs i was upstairs, i was hearn 'stop there! I no dey dier na abeg na, confirm am! Then anoda shot. I peep thru my rum window 2 catch a glipse of wats unfoldn, behold 6 guys were matchetn a guy 2 his death jst adjacent my buildn, confirm am! was d only word i was hearn, 1 of d guys pick up a huge stone nd drop it on d guy's head, nd they walk out of d street majesticaly. Til date dis incident stil flast 2ru my thoughts.

Geez, I just felt cold shivers down my spine after your story. Was it a cult raid? Which school?
Romance / Re: Why Are There So Many Single Grown Ladies by swiftycool(m): 8:41pm On Jun 27, 2012
This is the true reason jare, bone all these talks, many marriages end up 4 men as is shown in figgure below. grin so guys wud rather stay single and chop free pomo without buying cow! Hence ladies remain single grin grin grin

2 Likes

Politics / Re: Italian Who Donated Controversial Church To GEJ's Hometown Is Dead by swiftycool(m): 7:38pm On Jun 27, 2012
gbadexy: So sad. RIP to him. I only see a man that came to do business but was frustrated. Judging by the number of ongoing project, it should be obvious even to a simpleton that the FG is most likely owing his company and definitely, the monies he borrowed was invested in those projects, not spent.
Here's one of the few reasonable people on this thread, for your information Gitto was one of the few employers that employed over 5000 Nigerians all over the country and paid one of the best rates in d industry. The company was owed a lot of monies by the govt. and were thus granted funds by the banks. If u are a contractor doing biz in Naija u would discover how frustrating the govt. Can be in releasing ur money especially that EVIL ministry of Niger Delta and the greedy bastards in them! Am sure they caused the poor mans death. Rip Domenico, he was a blessing to over 5000 Nigerians and their families, I hope their lives won't be altered by this

1 Like

Religion / Re: Why Pator Chris Okotie Divorced His Wife Stephanie Henshaw by swiftycool(m): 3:10pm On Jun 25, 2012
@op ur post title is rather misleading. We opened this thread to perhaps find out "why" perhaps a detailed reason not an over repettition of some already stale news on NL. Change ur title or better still cancel this thread if u have no valuable info as to why okotie divorced his wife! angry

4 Likes

Romance / Re: Ladies: Worst Break-up Lines You've Ever Heard? Guys: Worst Break-up Lines You'v by swiftycool(m): 2:46pm On Jun 25, 2012
I love this one, makes me look not bad: Honestly dear, I believe u deserve someone better than me or I really don't think I deserve someone as good as you! Its not fair me blocking him from U
Romance / Re: Embarrassing Lines You've Used On A Lady by swiftycool(m): 2:14pm On Jun 25, 2012
Honey girl u wor wor baad but I no mind, what's d name grin
Car Talk / Re: Stolen Vehicle! Stolen Vehicle!! Stolen Vehicle!!! by swiftycool(m): 12:44pm On Jun 23, 2012
My car was almost stolen once around Alausa but for my immobilizer. The theives couldn't start it and just abandoned it frustrated. If u love ur car scratch ur number on the parts and get a security system. Mine cost just 15k 4rm a local electrician.

However, U can get a good immobilizer and tracking system thru www.chi-track.com or add this bb pin 2917E8E9 and inquire directly from the dealer bout it this is a coy I can vouch for!
Car Talk / Re: Used Car Reviews For Nigeria by swiftycool(m): 12:26pm On Jun 23, 2012
1 Model                       : Honda accord

2[b]Year of manufacture[/b] : 2003

3[b]Tokunbo/Naija used[/b] : Tokunbo

4[b]Mileage at purchase[/b] : 177,000

5[b]Year of purchase[/b]      : march 2011

6[b]Manual or Auto[/b]         : Auto

7[b]Best features of car[/b]  : Good fuel economy nice and cool interior/exterior

8[b]Worst features of Car[/b]: Car seems quite low for rugged naija streets and not very good in waterlogged areas

9[b]Developed problem[/b] : not much besides the shocks which I replaced recently and temparature gauge and wipers which stopped working, though cheaply replaced

10[b]Would you buy or advice
to buy  another Used of It[/b]: yes, though I discovered older models seem to have been stronger. & less problematic especially buldog which my babe uses


[b]Overall score of the vehicle: 8.5

1 Like

Car Talk / Re: I Have Not Been So Lucky With Honda Cars by swiftycool(m): 11:01am On Jun 23, 2012
Bros if u know u don't like problem on excessive maintenance and services costs just stay with Honda, Toyota or nissan. Honda is the best car I've ever used and still use though toyota has been the second best choice.
Most transmission problems experienced in honda is often as a result of mis-use by owner or in most cases if a tokumboh, probably an inherent problem unnoticed b4 u bought it
Anyone advising u to get a BMW, benz, Ford etc, let dem also tell u about their high guzzling fuel and maintenance wahala. All the formings na wash jor.

2 Likes

Romance / Re: Null by swiftycool(m): 1:03pm On Jun 18, 2012
slimyem: this is what my people will call...oro yi so si ni lenu,o bu yo si.iso o see pon'la,iyo o see tu danu...meaning the stench of fart in your mouth plus salt.you can't swallow the fart and you can't spit out the salt!cheesy

Hen! So slimy is an Yoruba girl? And all along I tot her name was Slimy-emem grin

@Op ill advise u get d cops to get dat punk and let him sing out all his cronies so dey get their arses screwwed!! I mean He raped ur woman, even if u forgive him, ur lady won't 4give u! Do it 4 her not 4 u. Do it 4 other past victims they've crossed

1 Like

Romance / Re: Who's That Nlander You've Secretly Had A Crush For And I Promise I Won't Tell by swiftycool(m): 12:44pm On Jun 18, 2012
^^^^ good girl! Daz gangsta luffin wink
Romance / Re: Who's That Nlander You've Secretly Had A Crush For And I Promise I Won't Tell by swiftycool(m): 12:39pm On Jun 18, 2012
Idowuogbo:

Lmaoooo!!!!! U need Jesus!
Gerraway jor u r not romantic, tot u wud blush 4 me too angry
Romance / Re: I'm Sick And Tired Of Cheating. Help A Brother by swiftycool(m): 12:36pm On Jun 18, 2012
Crown Prince: op,spiritually,there is a fornicating spirit hovering around you. You just have to see a powerful Man of God to remove the demon.

As in a VERRRY powerful one o, try cele! grin grin grin grin
Romance / Re: Who's That Nlander You've Secretly Had A Crush For And I Promise I Won't Tell by swiftycool(m): 12:17pm On Jun 18, 2012
Oh I really miss goggles the ganja farmer, where on Earth did she go, maybe she grew up or just died lipsrsealed

Im kinda moved by dat idowu and her sexxy she devil swagga, sometimes I want to give her a hot wet fresh kiss and follow it up immidiately with a hot dirty slap on her face, then smile innocently! grin grin grin
Romance / Re: Reasons You May Not Want To Sleep With A Virgin! by swiftycool(m): 5:32am On Jun 18, 2012
Ranti Fadahunsi:

Pally, a pure virgin keeps herself until marriage (herself...HERSELF - not part of herself). The ones you see behind the curtains are not pure virgins. If you have sex through the anus, you are technically no longer a virgin. In fact, that is freaking disgusting I dont want to think about it. A VIRGIN KEEPS HERSELF.
Hahahaha so my argument is right u could get married to a virgin who is exactly like the one I described and there is NO way on Earth u can check, after all the precious hymen is there, ur not thinking about it doesn't let the fact go away!

Virginity doesn't prove sh*t because most are secretly PROMISCOUS VIRGINS! Who are involved in stuff as I described and if u found out this about them won't u rather prefer an honest "virteous" non-virgin to that?! If u think am lying get to find out if the virgins who have boyfriends around u or if their bf wud confess. Remember spermz can enter a woman by 3ways not just 1!

Yes there R some all round good ones but many more are not worth it cos even though their hymen is intact they R sluttier in every other way than many non virgins which u cannot check, therefore I still maintain my argument- OVERRATED!!!
Romance / Re: Reasons You May Not Want To Sleep With A Virgin! by swiftycool(m): 10:05pm On Jun 17, 2012
@Ranti
Oh ok I get it. From all the arguments I can deduce that virgins are urged to just protect their hymen becos society expects that of them in order to wade of stds and emotional trauma.

But riddle me this like one self acclaimed virgin on some old nairaland thread who says she gives and gets head, gets 4uckd up d arse by various guys but never let's a man penetrate her kitty; how does she escape the emotional trauma or std. She's still a technically "virteous virgin" and deserves Ranti's respect right?

Bro. I like ur point of view, but I asure u if u have seen some virgins behind d curtains like some of us guys have, I promise u would have a change of mind and agree with me Virginity is Overrated!
Romance / Re: I Hate Stingy Guys,ladies Can U Continue Opening Your Legs To A Stingy Guy? by swiftycool(m): 10:23am On Jun 17, 2012
Luv Mercy: Some guys if you allow them,they are ready to Bleep a girl for 24hrs everyday and they call it love,when they can't even give a girl money either in 2wks or weekly.i hate stingy guys that use girls.they make girls to have negative mind and might conclude to have sex for cash instead of love.

I no talk am b4? A typical Naija girl with a boyfriend these days is a prosti tute! They want a relationship where they can get paid steady cash 4 giving out their arse. Many people are marrying peoples' former personal ashawos today without knowing. Whata pity grin tongue
Romance / Re: Reasons You May Not Want To Sleep With A Virgin! by swiftycool(m): 9:58am On Jun 17, 2012
Ranti Fadahunsi:

Pally, you are missing the point. A virgin is not someone who has a hymen. A VIRGIN IS A WOMAN/MAN WHO HAS PLACED A VALUE ON HERSELF. HE/SHE BELIEVES THAT THE ONLY PERSON WHO WILL SLEEP WITH THEM AND IS WORTHY OF PUTTING SPERM IN THEM HAS TO BE SOMEBODY SPECIAL. LET US FOCUS ON SHE. SHE IS DISCIPLINED AND PRINCIPLED, NOT MOVED BY PEER PRESSURE TO HAVE SEX WHEN EVERYBODY IS DOING IT. SHE HAS COMPLETE PEACE OF MIND - SHE KNOWS SHE IS FREE FROM STDS, UNWANTED PREGNANCY AND NO MAN CAN BOAST OF MESSING HER AROUND JUST FOR 5 MINUTES OF SEX. SHE SEES SEX AS A VERY IMPORTANT COMMUNICATION TOOL THAT SHOULD NOT BE SHARED WITH JUST ANY BODY. JUST AS YOU WILL NOT ALLOW JUST ANYBODY TO DRIVE YOUR N50,0000,0000 CAR, SHE BELIEVES THAT SHE IS WORTH MORE THAN N50,000,000 AND NOT JUST ANYBODY CAN MESS WITH HER. NOW THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF VIRGINS - THERE ARE THOSE WHO HAVE NEVER HAD SEX BEFORE. THOSE ARE THE PURE VIRGINS. THERE ARE THOSE WHO HAVE HAD SEX, HAVE REALISED THE FUTILITY OF LETTING GUYS MESS THEM UP AND HAVE DECIDED NEVER TO LET ANYBODY EVER MESS THEM UP AGAIN. THOSE ARE THE BORN-AGAIN VIRGINS. PERSONALLY, I RATE THE PURE VIRGINS ABOVE THE BORN-AGAIN VIRGINS. THE WAY U RATE A NEW CAR OVER A SECOND HAND CAR. AND LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION SIR - IF YOUR DAUGHTER SAYS THAT SHE WILL STAY TRUE A VIRGIN UNTIL SHE MEETS A MAN THAT PUTS A RING ON IT,WON'T YOU BE PROUD OF HER? OR YOU PREFER YOUR DAUGHTER TO BE SLEEPING AROUND WITH EVERY TOM, DICKK AND HARRY? PLEASE ANSWER OOOOOO.

Awww come of it jor, with this ur new deffinition of virgins, I can also coin out mine to suit my argument. The dictionary deffination of A true female virgin (sexually)is someone whose hymen has not been broken by a dick so all ur other explanations r just unnecessary jara. From personal experience many supposedly pure virgins have suceeded to only protect their hymen while they have done and keep doing every other thing sexually possible besides viginal sex; like blowjobz, fingerworks* complete naked handling and taking it up d arse. Yes technically, nomatter how u try to twist it, these ones R still virgins, but truly aint worth shite! Hence I stand by my belief, virginity is OVER RATED wink
Politics / Re: $3m Bribery Scandal: Ex-speaker Patricia Etteh Blows Hot! by swiftycool(m): 7:51am On Jun 17, 2012
This Ette woman is such a shameless theif, so because what u stole is less than what others were able to steal makes u the less guilty?!!!
I must say, PATRiCIA ETTE is one of the ones who has done greatest harm to the house by setting a precedence which others followed albeit more greedily. What did u expect, the latter house always has an ambition to outdo its predicessors. Imagine 40mill just 4 rennovation! What about the covetted official cars and other missapropriations. Big shameless b*tch of a theif angry
Crime / Re: Crazy Real Life robberies /Crime Stories by swiftycool(m): 6:55am On Jun 17, 2012
adonisgold: One of my friends had been looking for a house and he suddenly got a very cheap house around Orile and he could not believe his good fortune.
However it turned out to be too good to be true. There was a canal that ran behind the building and it was through here armed robbers always used canoes to invade the area and that is what made the previous tenant to run away. My guy discovered d hard way, one night the robbers just cut the buglary and entered his room where he was sleeping with madam. They did not harrass him at all and they told madam to make eba while they raided other apartments. This happened twice and my guy abandoned the house till today.

grin grin grin Talk about hungry thieves lol! I've heard a similar story of armed robbers who came to rob a home where the family was preparing for a party and. While others carted away mone and various items, one greedy one just carried a cooler of jollof rice and meat!

2 Likes

Nairaland / General / Re: Funny Stickers, posters, pictures and signboards by swiftycool(m): 5:39pm On Jun 15, 2012
Lol

Nairaland / General / Re: Funny Stickers, posters, pictures and signboards by swiftycool(m): 7:43am On Jun 15, 2012
Here are some funny bumper stickers ve seen

Crime / Re: Crazy Real Life robberies /Crime Stories by swiftycool(m): 7:38am On Jun 15, 2012
ayobase: During my universities days, I was inside my apartment chilling with my gen running outside.
All of a sudden, my gen stopped working....so unusual!
I decided to go check it out, but to my surprise, I saw two guys carrying my gen away...WTF.
''Hey guys, thats my gen...whats happening?''
''Come and collect it now....u dey craze abi''
Oh boy, I was just looking like zombie till they disappeared into the dark o!

LMHO grin grin grin u for go collect na!

Something similar happened to a friend of mine in Uyo who even lived in a fenced compound, his gen went off and he went to check it but like magic he didn't even see who took it, was like it just dissapeared. Or did the theif jump the fence carrying a gen?

1 Like

Crime / Re: Crazy Real Life robberies /Crime Stories by swiftycool(m): 7:12am On Jun 15, 2012
This one happened to me just last year, we came into Naija freshly and I got delivery of the car I just bought which was fresh from the US. A 2000 Honda accord, I dropped it at my pops house for his use 4 sometime b4 I came back for it since my gf had her own car I could use in Naija and popsies cars were all fuel guzzling ones.

I decided to take the car to church on sunday only to discover my dad had gotten some motor electrician to fix in some security gadget that won't allow it start till u press a very tiny button under the steering.
Initially I wasn't happy about it but just had to accept it.

I drove the car to church and parked it on one street off clay busstop Alausa not far from Christ Embassy and House hold of God churches. There were even man o war guys all around.

After church I walked towards my car and saw the man o war guy looking at me in confusion then looking where I parked my car, just there were two men trying to start my car! The man o war asked confused: Oga, wait o no be u park that moto?! Next thing I saw the two men jump out of my car gangsta style into a waiting taxi and speed off.

The man o war was shocked that the theieves had been so confident and respectably well dressed in lace traditional outfit carrying bibles and acting as if they owned the car! I later heard that up to 4 Honda cars had been stolenthe same way in the past 2 months. I just thank God for his protection and thanked my pop 4 his wisdom.

Next day I had my plate number etched on all the glasses and removable parts of the car to make it unnatractive.

5 Likes

Nairaland / General / Re: Funny Stickers, posters, pictures and signboards by swiftycool(m): 6:11am On Jun 15, 2012
Shut up! Are u God? grin
Crime / Re: Crazy Real Life robberies /Crime Stories by swiftycool(m): 10:08pm On Jun 14, 2012
Timileyin: [size=18pt]haaa Sango Ota is a died zone [/size] they tried to collect my car twice, its very rampant. They snatch cars every day
I heard about that place o, u must b a James Bond grin

komek: †ђξ guy na authentic MuMu with capital letter' M'

Abeg chill 4 d guy biko, he's had a long day and believe me its not that easy typing up these things as it appears. Just be paitient, I trust Killz tho he always delivers. Oya sexkillz over to u
Crime / Re: Crazy Real Life robberies /Crime Stories by swiftycool(m): 9:34pm On Jun 14, 2012
Its a pity so many people on this thread have this saddist mentality and are desperate to hear about killings, rape and grusome violence. However, I tagged this thread "Crazy" becos I didn't want all stories to be dwelling on painful events alone. Some crime stories I've heard or witnessed were damn right painful, sad and heartbreaking, while some are funny.

Now on the issue of wether being completely true or not, as I believe some of these stuff were narrated to some people like me and I reported as I heard, now if u r not happy about it, why not go to some other gory crime site so u can satisfy ur lust for pure pain and death and LOGG oFF this thread!!

As per the ones I claimed to witness, if u believe or not Na u sabi.

With that said guys pls feel free to post any crime related stories, especially crazy and funny, even if u didn't witness firsthand.
Thanx

4 Likes

Crime / Re: Crazy Real Life robberies /Crime Stories by swiftycool(m): 9:11pm On Jun 14, 2012
Few days later after narating the experience to his friends, they hacked a plan to set up the thief. One of the guy's called the theif and pretending to think he was talking to Joe told him he had sent 50k for the house rent and other things through a driver from abuja going to Usa park in d town.he was told to call d driver on a specific number so he could be identified becos the driver had also been given his own number.

The theif took the bait and planned to go collect the money supposedly meant for Joe by impersonating him through his possesion of the phone. He arrived with a friend to the park at the stated time not knowing that joe and his friends were there waiting 4 him pretending to be passangers. As he made the call, Joe's friend's phone rang and he went to meet him pretending to be the driver. He got close to the theif and held him while the other guys rushed to meet them.

The thief's friend noticed the happenings and ran away abandoning his okada, while the caught thief was given the beating of his life that day. I as a passer by came accross this scene and pleaded with the guys I saw beating a defenseless guy to stop but when they narrated the whole story involved I was so pissed and didn't know when I joined them beating the guy and so did many other passers by.
The guy was beaten so much, stripped naked and then allowed to go. The okada was handed over to the police with a report that it belonged to a thief. Am sure that guy would think twice before stealing again. Lol!

4 Likes

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