₦airaland Forum

Quality stuff! Auto section is simply the best on NL

OkwaIfugo: Point of correction which road did you say he built? He is busy patching the roads he built and he didn't do anything about electricity except from the federal gov.

Ngige's 3yrs is better than Mr Peter Obi's 8yrs. We that are based in anambra state knows what we are saying.

Take a look at these in bold, seems not adding up.

Mr. Globe:
^
my friend shut up. when has free and fair election ever been recorded in Nigeria? Atleast Ngige that rigged election performed far more better in 3 years than Peter obi in 8 years. All Nigerian politicians assended to office by hook or crook and if we could get a competent person to do so in Anambra, I don't have a problem with that as the people's will will always be subverted through the election mechinery. Lets not act like its not the system. Did Peter obi win the last election?

Mr. Globe:
The fact is there in the state. Go there and find out.

You just won't get tired of spreading falsehood.

Gambrosia: Your arrangement seems kinda odd. You all are small enough a family to sleep in one room. . . Make a cot for the toddler and one for the baby. . . .A 2 year-old is still too young to be left alone. . . I agree.


Who adviced you? And what reasons were given for the advice? HOW DID THEY KNOW [b]YOUR BUSINESS AS IN SLEEPING ARRANGEMENTS?
[/b]
Thank you! E ku se o!

I do not want ANYONE IN MY BED. . . SPOUSE OR CHILDREN!
I used to. . .but not anymore.
I don't want ANYONE TO DISTURB MY SNORING!!!!
If you push me to wake me up. . . I WILL SLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAP YOU!
My husband knows to phock and go BACK to his own room! Period!!!

I share in the questions as made bold above,but for the rest that came after...na your own be that o. @ Op, if none of you is complaining, I wonder why it should be another person's business... even mine!

sammy-young:
Seriously confused more dan ever

Good. It simply means your are beginning to be aware of the magnitude of your problem.

I just do not think it's all right to leave things as it is and enter the marriage, it's still quite early. Whatever you want to correct... now is the time, so if it's a big deal for you,now is the time to sort it out.How come she never does something wrong, I would have prescribed a taste of her own medicine for a change. More so i see nothing wrong in finding out what will be the worse case scenario should you not "beg and beg" for the next offense. I'm still at a loss though that you're going into a life time commitment with someone you cannot spend 10hrs together without offending.

oladelove: Thanks a lot and i really appreciate you.I discussed with her to let's ensure the kids don't get affected,as such we should be in talking terms while we stay apart.As i said,I will continue to provide for them,I don't intend to cut down on the monthly bill,I won't take her off my health insurance plans etc,etc.

I'm really at a loss what the main issue is here since you're economical in your piece, probably because i didn't read the earlier story...however your ability to discuss and reach an agreement with your wife, in the kids interest, tells me she is rational; which your piece earlier tried to portray otherwise.Some of the things she did, like abandoning the car on the road and asking you to come get it may not be right but not a very isolated case. Though I'm not a proponent of prophecies and so on, should you happen to have found out a malady in your wife, would it not be your responsibility to get her cured? You've taken your decision to stay away and you're happy with it as it seems, we do not know how she's taking it herself. You're still in talking terms, that's good but the best will be to solve your problem even from afar, why you'll need a divorce is not yet clear to me.

Not everything done while growing up in our part of the world is a cliche because of it's absence in modern western cultures. Some practices in our climes are really worth emulating. Such practice as the one mentioned are what make foreigners use the word "warm" when talking about us. This is a practice that does more good than harm, so why should we allow it to die. I think it is still relevant to show a verbal appreciation even if as an encouragement for someone carrying out his/her responsibility.

saintvc: Just chatted with an elder cousin who is about to be united again with his ex-partner after 7years of divorce. Their marriage lasted 6 years and produced 2 kids.

His reasons were

Family- the kids

Love is strong

time -he has outgrown his childishness. Moreover, time heals wound

I didn't discourage him but for me NOOOOO. I just cant feed on my vomit.

His reasons are sound and cogent enough to worth giving it a try. If he said he's out grown his childishness, then he admits to, at least, part of the blame for the divorce in the first place. This is a call for second chance for both, don't we all have times we had wished we had a second chance for something.

chino11: @ van bonatte


You make me laugh so much so that I started shedding tears for you..

You heard someone saying that I dignified you by responding to your comment, because of where you are coming from. Your enugu state benefitted from the old eastern region and still up till today there is nothing to show for it. Today there is heavy insecurity in your so called state; few days ago a US based economist from Aku was murdered in your same enugu rubbish. This happens on daily basis.

http://www.vanguardngr.com/2012/12/xmas-shocker-how-us-based-nigerian-economist-was-killed-in-enugu/

Most of Anambrans big boys has since relocated to Awka. Some of them I know by virtue of my job has either completed or at various stages of completion. Soludo, Akunyili has completed their mansions in Anambra. I will take a snapshots of Ngige and Andy's edifices for all to see soon. Even Ekwunife has since moved into has own personal house at Iyi-Agu estate. Akunyili completed her magnificient hotel in Awka recently.

You can only die in denial, because we have since left you timid people behind. enugu state is busy resurfacing the same old roads constructed in 50s and 60s. Show me new development in enugu state since 1991. Show us pictures of Nsukka, Udi, Oji river etc. are those ares not part of glorified enugu state? Show me single FDIs or any investor seeking to come to your enugu state; this is because your state is a dry land where nothing works. Unemployment has overtaken the state like a wild fire, while the gov is busy deceiving you fools with road resurfacing. This is the same fraud that chimaroke ran in the same and now efcc has been after him since 2007. This is the same way the present will become a regular visitor to efcc once he steps down.

Anambra has best network of roads traversing entire state. We are not only interested in the urban center just like you fools are doing window dressing. Anambra is becoming a one-city-state, from Awka to Onitsha to Nnewi to Ihialla to Ekwulobia to Uga to Oba to Obosi to Otuocha to Anam etc. Mention another enugu state town outside enugu urban..none.

You are a true son of your father. Say it as it is,enlighten the ignorant.

van bonattel: Not holding brief for Chimaroke, but he constructed a whole university in Enugu state (Esutech or something like that). The last Anambra man to have ever built a whole university is the great Zik of Africa. Just equate Chimaroke with Zik, simples.

I suggest you stop speaking, you're exposing much ignorance or you're simply being mischievous by attracting bashing on our sister state.

NRI PRIEST: With the billions of funds in our reserve your Gov. will ditch your state the second he gets the opportunity to work in Anambra. Enugu state is broke and their goverment keep borrowing more money. For the past six years Peter Obi has been in goverment he hasn't borrowed a kobo but he has executed more projects and our reserve is greater than what the rest of the se states has put together. Talk about prudence.

Agu Ukwu,thank you very much, it's time enlightened people start to tell the rest what governance is all about. Old OMATA ideologies should not be allowed to form the peoples view in such a great state.

ACM10: Nwannem na wa for u o! Why bring my revered handle into this? Take kwa your time o. I am only posting it the way I see it. Enugu looks more beautiful than any where in Anambra nonetheless

Nwanne no vex, I believe you posted it to be seen and that's why he referred those who've not seen it to take a look. I actually lived and schooled in Enugu for about four years in the late eighties so i know what the capital looks like even then. Expecting Awka, or indeed any city in Anambra, to beat Enugu capital city in Obi's tenure and still achieve modestly in order areas of governance is fool hardy. This is Awka, where a cab finds difficult to navigate through the path-like roads when Mollue buses were already plying Enugu roads,Awka was still a rural area when Enugu became a metropolitan for goodness sake, why on earth will someone compare both or expect Awka to be like Enugu in 8yrs of governance even with the wealth of Qatar. I see Awka growing steadily, I saw the developments made on the other side of the Onitsha-Enugu express way i.e Ifite, Okpuno, Unizk temporary site area,etc.This is a town i spent 5yrs in the 90s and have continued to visit often. There's been great improvement I say, there is still much that could be achieved even before the end of this regime, but i will not day dream.

Mr. Globe:
My brother andy has done none of that. lol. and then obi is not a glorified failure, he is a plain failure. This explains why he was unable to win a single senatorial seat in the last election with all his rigging and mago mago. From my findings, in the streets of Anambra everybody is disappointed for associating with him in the first place. Ngige could have continued. The state would have gone far. Even the few projects he's managed to deliver are all substandard. Peter obi is a waste of 8 years. His style of governance reeks illiteracy, no vision, greed, selfishness, petty, no plan, no ambition. He is only glorified by his paid sycophants on nairaland.

Sir, take a look at the various things claimed to have been done by this governor and dispute them na, what is your yardstick of judging performance apart from illusions,You keep making assertions, yet neither denying the works of Obi, nor have you told us what Ngige did to deserve your canonizing him. Obi's leadership style is acclaimed the most frugal. He limits himself to what is available to him and not to plunge the state into huge debts from loans. Many states are mortgaging the future of their children through outrageous loans that are grossly mismanaged in the end, yet we hail their governors for the infinitesimal and non profitable projects they execute from selling our children's future. Here is a governor who considers present and future while making decisions and someone calls him vision less, I wonder what vision means to you. We like to be deceived...probably because we've been deceived for a long time. We want Awka to suddenly become Lagos, despite how long it has taken Lagos to be here; do you know how much in debt Lagos is and how they hope to pay up? Obi does not believe in such and he is right not to because that's what he promised in his manifesto. I remember seeing one of his bill boards(which actually stayed up too long to become a nuisance)and it said something about stopping the mortgaging of our children's future if elected. Condemnation is cheap, when it is done irrationally, it is called petty. you have to put this in mind yourself.

chino11: Look at the highlighted, another yardua style arrangment..

Did you really respond to that Enugu state man? You've indeed dignified him, he must be feeling elated now. It's the same noise everywhere, a governor comes, concentrates on the same things the predecessor did in the capital, and all hail him as the best. Enugu state human resource compared to Anambra's...I think you've said enough.

Sealeddeal: next time,if you wish to discuss anambra,you ask those that lives in anambra and know what happens there.Do not be carried away by rhetorics and inordinate expectations.i wish the person that wrote those nonsense about Andy Ubah will show us pictures of the things he claimed Andy did for his senatorial zone.i live in nnewi and have not seen any development credited to Andy ubah.Andy Ubah almost sold state hotel,Ikenga hotel,within his two weeks stay in govt house and you think thats what anambra need.Andy Ubah awarded construction of international airport in two weeks and you have not used your head to know what it means.Even road construction cannot be awarded in two weeks in govt.Award of Niger bridge is still being studied and someone awarded airport in 2weeks of stay in govt and you dont know the meaning.thats the way Mbadinuju created 3 more Local council two days before he handed over. From your assesment of govt,i just discovered that leadership is actually a gift and you do not have that gift because if you do,you will understand when someone leads you well.

Nwanne, Ike gwulu. You're simply blunt and frank in your submission and i sense your irritation at obvious display of lack of substance.It's quite appalling that this man who took Anambrarians for a ride, posting outrageous and phantom figures as votes won, in an election many did not vote including the incumbent governor,went ahead and became an impostor in a position that was not vacant in the first place, could be hailed as a saint here. Ihe na-eme anyi si anyi na-aka. Okwu gi kwu ka siga biko.

Mr. Globe:
lol... it must really suck trying to defend a non performer.I was once in Awka sometime this year when I arrived Anambra State I was ashamed. Peter Obi should be. ashamed of himself for ruling from that village if he has any dignity. The whole state looks governed by a tout and illiterate. unplanned, no law and order.

Talking about dust, am talking dust from untared roads not weather. So many internal untared road in the state. Even the road to the so called queen suites where I lodged briefly was sorry and dusty. Why has your greedy master refused to conduct LG election in 8 years that would ve aided in grassroot development. If obi is afraid of demolition of illegal structures to restore sanity in the city then he is more daft than I thought. Perhaps you don't know how wide double lane roads can boost a place economically. use the enugu Osha expressway as your case study.

Obi is a failure, visionless and petty minded. Governance is not about painting one classroom block in all schools. Go to Rivers.

You like to use provocative insinuations in your speech, even to someone you hardly know, however I'll continue to speak my mind without distractions. You were ashamed when you came home because it was better when you left right? "So many Internal untarred road in the state", Anambra is still part of Nigeria, if other states also have "many internal untarred roads", then we should measure performance with how many that were tarred, and not the many untarred. Finance is majorly a factor here,if wishes were horses,even beggars will ride. Nigeria presently spend her budget with 70% going to recurrent expenditure like salaries, day to day logistics etc. This leaves just less than 20% of her budget for capital expenditure, I guess you listened to the CBN governor talk of reducing workforce(though i do not agree it's the solution). Do not live in denial while expecting the states to be in a better situation, else you'll continue to bad mouth every body that comes in there. By rivers, do you mean river state? What is river state figure in the 13% derivation, which Anambra does not share in. Now river state governor built schools, did yo see the extent it prevented him from giving his people good roads? Or do you think he didn't want good roads in his state? You simply cannot eat your cake and have it. Money spent on something cannot be retrieved to be spent on another. Enugu - Onitsha express way is a federal road which is presently under construction by the state government after obtaining permission from the federal. I saw construction work ongoing myself. Not demolishing the houses at this point is good thinking for me, connect all communities with good roads and then go over to city beautification of capital. Good governance is not all about making a mega city while the other communities are swallowed up in neglect. Anambra is coming out from a state of decay, and Obi has put his foot prints in the sand of time there, as a catalyst for development. No LG elections, I agree with you in totality there, as no one has been able to convince me of the reason for that, yes it is a sour point, he cannot be flawless. Government is a continuum, one lays the foundation, another builds on it. What we need is ogiga and Anambra state has moved under this regime. He is a failure....? By all means NO.

Mr. Globe:
how come there is dust everywhere in Awka, no good internal roads, All the roads are single lane and narrow. No plan, no beautification. The so called hotels are one star hotels, Awka is a village. Peter obi is sitting on the progress of Anambra state.

I'm at a loss about what to say to you here. Dust? Eliminate dust in Nigeria? Even Abuja is miles away from achieving such a feat. Your idea of no good internal roads is that they are constructed motor able, but single lane and narrow...apart from the fact that residents of half the number of states in the country will give an arm and a leg to have that in their place, have you considered that the number of roads needing rehabilitation and construction in the state, will not allow him waste fund in adequate compensation for demolitions if he had to pull down structures to expand roads. You've called him a thief and vision less in the thread, Imagine what you'll call him had he demolished structures without compensation. Hotels are one star...haba, build two star na and see if it will not stand. Must the government build it for you? Juhel has built a great factory and it's standing, Innoson has built a magnificient industry and it's there. You call queens suits one star right? Ok na. I just dey laugh and vex the same time, I no know what to say to you.

chino11: My friend you are talking trash.

I live and work in Awka. Awka as a capital city has witnessed tremendous infrastructural development. Decent housing estates are springing up so fast like the Amansea est, Abuja est, Ngozika phase 1 & 1 etc. The town has night life that is comparable to what you have in PH. The hospitality industry in the city has doubled in the last few years. Place like Bamboo, Bejoy etc witness all nite activity, we are not talking about Hollywoods at Iyi-agu estate where people does not sleep at all. Even the popular Onitsha boys storm the town every weekend to jolly till their boss calls. Maybe you stay at the outskirt, next time you come to Awka alert me I will take you round, although as a married man not all the places that I can take you to .

Thanks for speaking up my friend. I no longer stay in Awka, but i like the fact that you mentioned verifiable places in your submission. Now we are talking facts and not name calling, based on rumors from rate collectors for Okada riders. I wish people of the state will start looking at issues in an enlightened manner befitting of the level of achievement made in human resource. Someone want Awka to be Dubai in 8yrs, and within the same period have a replica of twin towers built in Onitsha, while building the most solid underground tube transportation all over the state. Let's not forget that these developed places made progress even as they lay the second brick above the first. If I know how well or poorly this one has done, then i can choose and subsequently assess the next.

Onlytruth: Charles Chukwuma Soludo:

He is a very intelligent, ambitious, visionary and TRAINED economist. He can diagnose Anambra's economic (hence social) problems in a wink.
He can (as proven by some of his achievements at CBN, which was only pulled down by the Nigerian presidential fiat) what he could do. While at CBN, he discovered that his best intentions were futile as long as he was not the president (who had the executive powers to do and undo in Nigeria). That was when he decided to go to the source of the problem -the executive branch of the Nigerian system.
Soludo has everything needed to create an oasis of wealth and advancement in the Light of the Nation.
No leader can succeed superlatively without a superlative vision. In Soludo's case, he has the vision and the training to overdeliver.
He weakness? He is in PDP, and Anambrarians HATE PDP with a certain passion.
He should run under a different party if he is serious about winning in Anambra state.

He is MY candidate.

This is a good submission,I like Soludo's sagacity while a CBN governor. He however did not come out tops to me after the events of his attempt at the elections. He simply displayed naivety in his actions then, trying to bulldoze his way through with federal might,prolonged altercation with Dora (then a "beloved" serving minister), Fire arms import rumors etc. He has proved himself more as a technocrat than an administrator. His contributions to any government can elevate the regime but him as governor? I'm not so enthusiastic about that yet,however this depends on the alternatives available.

Slizbeat: There is difference btw being tribalistic and being Realistic. If APGA fields in candidate for ondo election in 2015, is it possible for them to win? TYPICAL NO!!! So that's just the reason ACN can't win Anambra. Back to it, its true Obi is working, I came back to Anambra around March 2012 and the only road that was bad I noticed was the Onitsha-Awka road but loads o tractors were parked there, don't know why they aint working. From Awka, I left to Imo, taking a bus from Awka to Nnewi via Agulu. Mehn I enjoyed the ride. Then I took a bus to Ihiala, gosh, the road is damn sweet at Okija and Ihiala. Truely Obi is trying in his capacity, no doubt. As per who will lead Anambra, I would go for Soludo. Secret is that Governors perform best at 1st tenure when they've never tested power before, go research and see.

I will put my comment as a response to your post because you talk fact. I will allow those who revel in name calling and shallow talk to continue unabated. Such a forum as this should be able to x-ray the present government's performance, Identify low points, and with that in mind, propose suitable candidates to tackle such places, having portrayed such individuals as capable in those areas. It baffles me when people who are educated enough to construct sentences in a foreign language, using modern technology in their communication, could still not hold a meaningful argument that will be beneficial. Yet condemnation comes very easy for them,someone claimed "Obi is building every thing build able in Onitsha" another one in support of him accused Obi of "lack of attention and developement in Onitsha and Awka". Just like you, i mentioned places I've been to and their high points as well as identified points for improvement. Instead of enlightening me further as i requested, someone, in the hallowed chamber of his toilet, called my submission hogwash and trash yet offered no explanation nor correction. Someone is asking why we should talk about the present governor, and i say "You want to mention names without identifying why you need a particular individual? Go ahead then, there were about 20 or more PDP candidates in the last election and many more in other parties, keep naming them all and tell me what you've achieved by opening an anambra politicians register on nairaland. The thread wants us to identify possible candidates, why not like the true light of the nation make it an educative discourse, this for goodness sake is a forum where voters also visit. We just talked about roads, and if Ngige has only roads as achievements, then he has been dwarfed by the present regime, someone else should be brought to the fore and his antecedents criticized. However, if he had done more than that, then it should be made known.

deshclones: Its a shame people are routing for ifeanyi uba,andy uba,nzeribe,annie okonkwo etc in a very important debate like this...do you guys even hv the interest of our state at heart??doesn't it bother u guys that once you cross the niger bridge from asaba into osha d air changes..everything becomes rowdy nd in total disorder..so you guys like the way Anambra is?kedu ihe n'eme unu self?unu adighi apuapu gaa be ndi ozo hu ka odi?? infact akpa amu unu there..All those supporting any candidate but Soludo are all enemies of Anambra state nay Ndigbo..Soludo is our sure bet to total transformation of our beloved state in all ramifications.economy,infrastructure,ambience etc...Ngige did only roads in his LGA neglecting other zones..Obi is busy building everything buildable in his beloved osha..neglecting Awka nd Nnewi..I always weep anytym I enter Awka..d town is a ghost town..more like a glorified LGA headquarters..nothing works..bad roads,refuse heaps everywhere.no night life..d whole town becomes deserted once its 7pm...soludo has d acumen,exposure,contacts to transform Anambra state..light of the entire black Nation..

I will not join issues with you on the persons named. However since i asked questions earlier on Ngige's performance, it seems all those who sing his praises immediately went to sleep. I had actually expected someone to come to his defense with tangible evidence of achievements, things we can still see. I'm kind of disappointed right now because i was thinking i was missing something and would be enlightened more on his development strides. Anyway, on Obi,You agree that he is "busy building everything buildable in his beloved osha", that's state money being spent on the state. Now to Awka: not withstanding the hostile attitude of the Awka elites to the governor, which has led to disunity in their town as a result of the governor fighting back, Obi remained the only governor that has made the awka major road motor able. One will easily drive pass eke awka now without knowing he's passed. There is still a lot to be done with good thinking, waste collection points could be identified and residents made to bring out their waste only at certain times like towards the night, then its picked up first light by the waste companies for example. But I saw Amaku general hospital and my mouth was wide open for I had expected to hear people commending him for that.

Sealeddeal: Nwannaa,if u have gone to anambra north,bearing in mind how it was,you will surely be happier with Gov.Obi than you are. its only anambrarians that have lived all their lives in lagos and other cities in nigeria that will surely not believe that Gov.Peter Obi has done something.They thought that govt is like dreaming.If most of those people have gone to some states in north or outside lagos,Ph,Kano,Abuja and see what is there and compare it to what Gov.Peter Obi has done in anambra state,they will kneel down and thank God for Peter Obi.

Nwanne, biko delete PH from the list above when we're talking about roads. At least that one I know well well (not that the governor is not performing, but roads...abeg leave matter). Thanks however for confirming that, i only spoke about the places i physically passed through. Anybody from Enugu or Ebonyi state and moving from PH will rather take a 5hr journey spanning through the villages in Anambra than take a straight PH- Aba- Enugu express way. I still felt a lot need to be done in the three major cities of Awka, Onitsha and Nnewi, but I'm not living in deceit to think that it wasn't money that was spent on these other roads. I think Obi simply made it a priority to connect every town and give everybody a feeling of governance, while creating avenue for distribution of food, knowledge etc. I still await those who Idolize Dr. Ngige and Condemn Mr. Obi to come forward and post why. We can take it aspect by aspect and lets all share knowledge and be enlightened further.

NRI PRIEST: Nwanne,you could be right in some of the things you wrote about but Anambra is not lacking on a vissionary leader. Anambra was like an abandoned and a failed project when Obi came in. This man started building the state from scratch. There was nothing like goverment secretariat. It hurts me so bad that ppl expect Anambra to become like Lagos overnight. My God,governance all about planning and due process. Obi isn't into building a white elephant project. He made it very clear that the first thing his goverment will confront is BASIC amenities like drinking water,rehabilitating and building new hospital,revamping our school system,connect all the communities in Anambra by roads,accountability and many more. And let's me honest;The man has performed. Nuf said.

Nwanne, na your papa born you. I like people being realistic in their judgement and criticism and not basing things on sentiments. Style of governance may differ but development should be the target and indeed the yardstick. I was in and moved around the state in the months of October and November and could not but feel the guy has performed comparatively. With the exception of Anambra North where i did not visit, every other sector will boast of good roads now in the state connecting it to the rest. I challenge anyone to mention the community that is still cut off. I passed through Ihialla, Nnewi, Anaocha, Orumba, Aguata,Awka,(Idemmili i passed through, but ngige already did theirs). In onitsha, all major roads i passed were surprisingly motorable, from awka road to main market,the DMGS through CKC to upper Iweka road(usually terrible), there are still a lot of roads to be done for sure. What about the Industrial Village, that's a very interesting area to visit. I did not visit Anambra north, but even on NL, I've come to realise that Obi has strong support from this zone, he must have done well there too, in a hitherto abandoned area. I base this on roads alone for now because It is verifiable. I think the governor in this aspect has performed better than his predecessors. That's my opinion for now.

I understand this thread is for suggestion of qualified candidates for the post and not to forecast who will or will not win. The idea is to name someone and sell his qualities to us on NL. That said I've heard people mention Ngige here as having done so well in his three years, to be head and shoulders above every other person (even the present governor who by the way cannot contest). I need facts, Please let those who know kindly post without insulting anybody, the Physical achievements of Dr. Ngige and Mr. Obi. I'm talking of achievements we can see.

If we are interested in the welfare of Anambra, then we have a common objective, let's be partners and not foes.

omotola1: Some people here are confusing “husband“ with “fiance.“ that is all i can say for now.

Yeah, while others confuse "fiance" with "boyfriend".

rezzy: Sis, you are very correct. I dont do nothing in his house. The only day i moved the plates to the kitchen was the day he formally introduced me to his parents and the food was served by his mother so i couldnt leave the dishes for her to pack. (that was d day i entered their kitchen for the first time).

Sorry o, let me get this right. Can you call someone your fiance(e),when his/her parents don't know about you?

ypzilanti: You definitely should not clean up for a guy you just met. That is desperate.

The topic refers to a fiance.

When you are in a loving relationship, if you are discerning, even when a guy has not proposed sef...you will know the relationship is likely heading towards marriage. At that point, it makes no sense to sit around watching plates pile up in the kitchen. Even if you don't want to do it alone, you can ginger the guy to come so you guys can do it together. Or tell him you got this, but he got that. That is love. My fiance usually gives me one chore to do while she does another...but she will never just come and relax in a dirty house. Sometimes I try to clean up before she comes to give her a pleasant surprise, just because i know she will not relax in a dirty house.

No guy makes fun of the girl he is going to marry cleaning his house...whats funny about that?

You are in the spirit

OCTAVO: It is now gradually becoming a norm that ladies should do house chores for their fiance (all in the name of after all we are gonna get married soon).
I mean stuffs like sweeping the entire compound, cooking, washing clothes on visits and lots more.
Some say it‘s wrong because too much intimacy might breed iniquity.
Some say it‘s right cos you need to test-run the capability of your soon-to-be wife.
Why i personally don‘t like this is that some men (including their family members) misuse/abuse this privilege.
What‘s your own take?

Fiance is quite a big deal in most part of the world you know,it means there is some seriousness to get married. They may as well start showing each other their abilities to take responsibility with regards to their various functions. Fear of abuse should really not deter you from performing what you believe is your duty (male or female) as abuse exists for jerks even after marriage.

mondi_cheeks: I'm not even looking for a fight with u. I'm jus saying those women lived on the same concept and they didn't work that's all. Now excuse me I have to go back to watching 'revenge'

Why am i not surprised at the title of what you're watching.lol

tpia1: discuss what you dont agree with in the post instead of taking everything personally.

be civilized.

There is nothing to discuss there, your submission came after series of posts. go back to the matter at hand and re-examine your post, then tell me why in your opinion I'm being uncivilized.

tpia1: men and women both have to learn from any case, dear.

what you described sounds like a woman who is extremely stressed out and the husband doesnt seem to be helping.

post baby blues is very real and he needs to understand it can be very tasking taking care of a baby especially if there's no assistance. Usually the mum in laws come around to help out immediately the baby is born, but you didnt mention anything like that.

the woman could be having mastitis, where the breasts are very painful yet you still have to breastfeed the baby or at least express the milk to get relief. If she had tears during delivery, an older woman with her would have helped her apply the warm compress or steam bath to hasten recovery.

there's a lot more to post natal care than just the smiling baby we see on tv ads.

and yes, the husband's support is crucial. Or at least a family member/friend/neighbour to let her know she's not alone.

besides, the husband can look bored at work also, or in the beer parlour. That is not the issue.

Completely out of point. You're not the only one experiencing family life here