₦airaland Forum

ayettymama:
wow peeps in naija listen to the sugababes??

chrisette michele

all i ever think abt!

album is classic!

Yes!! I ADORE Sugababes. I have all their albums. In secondary school, I was obsessed with their first album (One Touch), it's the first album I really related to.

@ topic

I'm With You- Avril Lavigne

It Ends Tonight- The All American Rejects

Second Chance- Shinedown

Angels On the Moon- Thriving Ivory

H2O2:
Lol you two are jiving and pulling my pants. I never imagined my little entry would be interpreted in that way.

This is fast becoming a schadenfreude at my expense.  Although I must say I don't consider it a misfortune.
LOL
I pleade the 5th.

Um. . . what other interpretation is there? Please clarify, by all means purify our dirty minds!

Make Her Say- Kid Cudi

Overload- Sugababes

Rest In Pieces- Saliva

doyin13:
Hehehehehe. . . . Tatase, I think you should make one for ''MISFIRING MEN''.

We don't want to leave H202 outta the parry now do we. 

LOL!!!!!! That's mean o. . . But will be taken into consideration.

H2O2:
  what a joker.  When I haven't once fired?

The ersatz experiments conducted individually don't count.

No I agree, they don't count. 

Ay good point about Branson. . . Hmmmm. . . Ok my line "Team Firgin Men" or "Team Vahgin Men". . . haven't decided yet, should be available  soon! So support the movement o NL!! [size=4pt]Also coming soon "Eau de Sangwewe" Perfume for men[/size].

doyin13:
Haaa. . .me I am not embarrassed at all. I AM A VIRGIN. Don't believe in pre-marital intimacy.

Good for you jare!!

Stop involving money and financial "investment" so much in your relationships. That way the ones that are there for the wrong thing will bounce quickly. So many guys are un/consciously pay girls to stay with them and then they don't get why it doesn't work out.

It seems like you too are mostly angry about the wasted resources whereas if your relationship was about more than the expectations you have because you're paying her, you'd be more upset about more emotional things.

H2O2:
I wouldn't even lie sha, first thought that sprung to mind for me was bosoms.

I think most guys' first thought (about anything) is bosoms. . . and maybe sangwewe (which is the funniest word I've heard this year, how do you pronounce it so I can use it) water if you're doyin13.

doyin13:
Succulent juice = sangwegwe water na  

I think you've further confused the issue. . . what is sangwegwe water? And if it is what I think it is, then how does that work with what MELAA was trying to get across?

H2O2:
Lol @ Team Virgin Men.  Goofy.

You touched on an important point there btw.  Many of these men end up having intimacy for their own selfish fulfillment, with no regard to the partner's own state of pleasure.  They could care less whether she climaxes or her sexual appetite was sated in the process.

About Team Virgin men, I think I'm going to print t-shirts. Then I'll wear them around Lagos. Please NL, contact me for all your Team Virgin men t-shirts and assorted merchandise. We can start a movement. . . for virgin men, so people can stop mocking them. I'm [size=4pt]semi-[/size] serious!  

But on the other note, yeah it's true. People think just because they're sexually active, they're experts and it's like no, there's more to it than that.

tayo_ast:
/\ /\ /\
eh yah!!
so, u were subtle 2 d guy n he gave it 2 u gbam!!
hope no one was embarrassed/disgraced. but y am i hearing ds 4 d 1st tym?? ain't that weird??

Ah it was embarrassing for me. I hate scenes so I removed myself from the situation. But I have friends who stay and give it back to the guy. It happens all the time so it IS weird that this is the first time you're hearing of it.

Jaidey-one:
you just need to grow some ballz and meet new women,

tayo_ast:
thats important. u nid some hard ballz

If by "ballz," you mean confidence, then ok I agree with you. But too much of what guys consider to be "ballz" sometimes comes across as cockiness.

H2O2:
It's worth a try Things have REALLY, [emphasis on really] REALLY fallen apart.
Now I understand better what **our time**(obscure) is all about.
(I'm guessing it means "I now understand why/how things have degenerated to this level" )

We no longer hear "our husband has gone mad," it is now our ladies that have lost their "succulent juice" (??) . Our ladies (not all ladies) have lost their morals for reasons that I don't understand.
(I don't get this part)

Their generation is doomed!!!

Yay!!!!!!!!!!! An attempt! You tried! Maybe "succulent juice" is metaphoric for madness or virginity or something. I don't know, I don't understand either. Thanks for the rest though!

No I already responded to this thread ages ago. I'm too lazy to go and find and quote myself, but I was on Team Virgin men! There are lots of men having gratuitous intimacy. who still don't know anything about it because they're selfish and don't bother to learn.

And there are people who aren't having any but who are educating themselves or if they're not, are willing to when the time comes. It isn't nuclear physics, anyone can learn. I have a lot of respect for the men who eschew peer pressure and abstain, so of course I can happily and proudly marry a virgin!!

@ topic,

I think you already know what to do. You've said it yourself:

majikboi:
I AM SCARED OF HER NOW AND I CAN NEVA TRUST HER AGAIN,

majikboi:
she is the loose type and i dont know what to do, im scared she will sleep with a dog,

majikboi:
i think my girl is A slut AND I DONT TRUST HER ANYMORE N I DONT WANT TO DATE OR HAVE ANYHTHING TO DO WITH ANY GURL AGAIN, NEVA

Ok so now based on the evidence, what do you think? Or better yet, what do you want anyone to advice you to do? You've already said there's no longer any trust, you think she's a slut, you're scared that she will sleep with a dog ( ) , and you don't want to have anything to do with her anymore. I think you've already told yourself the right thing to do.

Well it has the phrase "succulent juices" in it which means its obviously well. . . a juicy comment. . . Therefore, I'm now really curious and interested and really do want to understand what the poster was trying to say. So honestly, if anyone is inclined to attempt a translation, I would be grateful.

^^^^

Yes o. . .  I won't deny it. It's not uncommon. It's part of the average naija girl's experience o. . .  Ask the ladies you know, they'll tell you!

H2O2:
phew ibon

Really?!? Just ibon?!? Did you actually understand what s/he was going on about?? Would anyone be willing to translate?

H2O2:
Well of course I never restricted the discussion to an apologetic setting since the poster didn't.  However, I can see how that could possibly benefit the apologizer giving the apology.  It can be used deceptively and can also be used genuinely like I said.  It all depends on one's motive.  An honest "I'm sorry" can also be demonstrated and accompanied by getting on one's knee.  Once again, it's symbolic and not compulsory.  I don't think the one who's wronged would "demand" it as the only proper apology.  Even if you did get on your knees it does not guarantee that the one who's wronged would immediately forgive and forget.  Apologies in whatever ways, shapes or forms they come in do not fix wrongs.

True! Ok, we're on the same-ish page now. 

blackmann:
can STIs be transmitted via toilets?

I don't think most can. But even the ones that can (maybe like hep A or crabs and a couple of others), there'd have to be a really "special" relationship between your nether regions and the toilet seat or public towels, as well as you not being someone who washed their hands.

@ topic,

Hmmmm. . . it's up to you and whether you believe the STD WAS gotten from the toilet seat. And the ones I can imagine anyone getting from a toilet seat aren't that bad. HIV and Herpes would be pretty difficult to forgive, but it's up to you and your relationship. If it really wasn't your partners fault, then although it sucks, you should forgive. In any case, if you're not married, you should be practicing safe "intimacy" (self-censoring for NL).

H2O2:
False, don't formulate hasty conclusions.  Depending on the scenario and intent behind your reason for getting on your knees, it could also be symbolic for respect or whatever else. And I stress that showing respect in that manner does not make you inferior.  Customarily, men get on their knees when proposing to their women more times than not - something characteristic like that.

As an aside though, getting on your knees does not automatically grant you a free pass when you screw up.  It doesn't guarantee that your SO will forgive your transgressions; whatever they are.

Yeah of course there are "associate reasons" for either party to get on their knees, but I meant in an apology setting. I guess it's a cultural thing, maybe some tribes are more about the kneeling down than others.

To me kneeling down in an apology sense is lowering yourself as a supplicant, like I'm at your mercy. And I suppose if someone did something truly awful (I'm talking awful like murder or really just doing something grievous to someone else) and they know it, and feel compelled to throw themselves at the mercy of the one they wronged, fine.

But when two people are supposed to be united as one, like lovers, then there's no place for who has the upper hand or who's the supplicant. An honest, "I'm sorry" should be enough. That's just my opinion. The only way to get your guy/girl should listen should not be with you at their feet. And if the only way you're going to forgive is if the person is at your feet, then that's a problem. To me. In my opinion.

tayo_ast:
oh dear!!

but it doesn't really happen d way u've just put it.
u can't 'embarrass/disgrace' sm1 in public & xpect 2 go scot free

It DOES happen that way! Look at it from a girl's perspective.

Also, there's a difference between not wanting to give someone your details and publicly embarrassing and disgracing someone. Ok yes, some girls are unnecessarily mean when rejecting guys but even then, that's no reason to become abusive. Look at it, like thank God you avoided her bad attitude and sharp mouth.

But the guys I was talking about are the types who you're polite to, and try to let down easily and then they start with the insults. It's not by force to give your number to anyone that asks. But many naij guys feel like just because they've asked you, it's their right to to get it, and it's not. It's ridiculous that a guy will take it upon himself to approach a girl and then when he's rejected however nicely will freak out and start abusing her.

H2O2:
it's not compulsory. It does have an added appeasing effect on people (man or woman) and can send them on ego trips. you can use it to your advantage, but I don't think anyone has necessitated it here.

So in essence, it's more just for show. . . Like a gesture to get the other person to shut up and just take you back?

What is "too faithful?" I thought one was either faithful or unfaithful.

@ topic,

I don't think being "too faithful" should be harmful to a real relationship. If one partner feels choked by the other's faithfulness, then that partner isn't ready to be in a relationship anyway (unless both partners agreed on an open relationship, and now one wants to back out of the agreement).

oluclem:
True talk
I don't know why people are dragging this issue. I mean what is special about kneeling down if that is what will bring peace at home.
And for those saying no, especially the ladies, I don't believe them. The reason is that every girl will do anything to save their relationship, especially when they are in love.

Ok but what does kneeling do that saying "I'm sorry" and meaning it does not do? Is it better to kneel for the symbolic cultural apology without really being repentant just because it's expected, than to apologize on your feet from your heart?

tayo_ast:
arh!! wat kinda human being does that in d 1st place.

@topic: this shd be enough

Many naija guys o!! A girl will be sitting somewhere minding her business. A guy will come with that "may I know you/ i like your style (whatever this means)/ whatever razz toast" ish. So of course, since it's overpowering and you're not interested, you (girl minding your business) say no, thanks to giving him your contact info. Then the guy starts insulting you, that you're not even fine, you think you're all that etc etc, as if its by force.  Ask girls, it happens all the time!!

omega25red:
It's sad that in our country we automatically gain confidence with women when we have money or thats what people think.

It really is sad!! And the kind of women who are drawn to a guy because of money when they wouldn't have his time if he didn't have any, are the very women he should avoid. But guys don't do that. They go with the cheap girls they know are attracted because of the money and when it goes wrong, they complain.

I think if you're still so conflicted about the relationship, you should call him. Not necessarily to reconcile or anything, but just to discuss things. For the sake of closure, or for the sake of seeing if there's anything salvageable from your relationship. It might not make anything better but at least in the future, you'll be able to say you gave it a last effort.

Just start the convo casually like, "How are you? How've you been? I was surprised to get a vals card from you. . ." and take it from there. Maybe it will lead to you guys discussing your issues, but at the very least you might discover from him why exactly he sent you the card.

I shouldn't help you in case you use the tips below for sketchy purposes, but I feel bad for you so I'll give a few suggestions:

Stop starting with "my name is Tamita, can I meet you?" That's the first thing. Don't say that! It's like you're looking for something specific from her and it's overpowering and a little intimidating.

What to do:
1.) Start with a joke, or a comment on where you are or what you just did or even the weather. Just something casual to start the convo.

2.) After you start the convo, THEN, you can introduce yourself and ask her name (without saying can I meet you or anything. Just "my name is x, what's yours" is fine).

3.) Tell her a bit about yourself in the context you met her. E.g. at church, "I've been coming to this church for a while, but this is the first time I've seen you." or "Did you enjoy Pastor so-and-so's message." Or at the cinema, "wow the line is long, I came all the way from X to watch this movie, and its like everyone had the same idea." Something like that, that shows you're normal and a functioning part of society.

4.) At this point you can give a compliment but throw in some humility because it seems more genuine that way. E.g. "I think you're beautiful. I've been over there watching you, trying to get the confidence to come over and talk to you." Whether or not that's the case, it makes you seem unthreatening and cute and it also makes it harder for her to say no to at least exchanging contact info with you, even if she's not interested.

5.) Don't stay too long, so that it becomes like you're disturbing her or you're too desperate. Say something like "I have to go now (back to my friends/ my movie is about to start/ whatever) but can we exchange numbers or email addresses." Even if she says no, don't become belligerent and aggressive and start dissing her. Just be like "well that's too bad, here's my contact info in case you change your mind." If you're polite and respectful even after rejection, she might have a re-think. When guys who are rejected become mean afterwards, girls are like good riddance, thank God sef I said no.

In general sha, just play it cool and just keep first meetings at just a chat, don't start with "I like you" or "I want to get to know you better." Don't act so eager like "can I meet you?, may I know you? etc."

Cuando Nadie Me Ve- Alejandro Sanz

I thought the white christmas tree dress above looked really stupid, but she looked nice in the lace jumpsuit thing she performed and accepted her awards in.