₦airaland Forum

I think there should be some level of privacy. Like neither person should be snooping through text messages or soiling into e-mails in secret, but at the same time neither party should have anything to hide. Like it shouldn't be a big deal if you leave your e-mail up and I glance at your inbox before I log you out. You shouldn't be diving across the room to log out because I glanced at your e-mail for a second as I tried to log out. Or you shouldn't be worried if I want to use your phone, and wanting to erase "check something" on your phone before I can use it.

But the whole sharing passwords and pin code thing, I think its a bit too much unless it's a joint account of some sort. If you trust me why do you want to log into my e-mail or facebook when I'm not there?

1.) She's obviously not the love of your life. At least not right now.
2.) You both are not ready for this relationship between your cheating ways and hers.
3.) What exactly will getting high and drunk solve once you're no longer high and drunk? Are you already drunk/high?
4.) I think you should sober up and think of your life and figure out if at this point you're a.) ready to be in a serious relationship and b.) ready to be in a serious relationship with this girl at this time, and then talk to her about it.

I think its the same thing as can you marry any famous person or can you marry someone with a job that means that they are public property (e.g. a pastor or something). I think you'd have to be a really strong and self-assured person and have a very strong sense of self and a really solid relationship.

As to whether or not I can do it? I'd have to be in that relationship first to see whether it was worth the stress and the aggravation. I wouldn't necessarily seek it out, though.

They're so expensive, no? That's why I'd want something really simple and classic with not too much frou frou or poof to it so that I could wear it again and again as an evening dress i.e. wear it once and then dye it to an evening colour like navy or black or burgundy or something.

It's reasonable to woo anyone (including female friends) if you have that kind of rapport with them. Like if you guys flirt or if you think she might be interested in you "like that." However, don't make a good friendship awkward by just asking out a female friend you KNOW is not interested in you.

Neptunz:
@topic-Useless thread~
later everyone will blame yaradua for  marrying his daughters to governors & politicians because a typical poor man dating a rich man daughter is always seen as a gold-digger, Lmfao
@poster-leave the man alone if ur ego is confusing u or were u blindfolded not to see him as poor man when he ask u out.

It's not that a poor man dating a rich man's daughter is a gold-digger. At all. There are many guys out there that are not looking to a girl's family for a handout in exchange for marrying their daughter because basically that's what this guy seems to be doing. He became a gold-digger when he started making demands on the girl to get her family give him money AFTER seeing her family situation. That's whats shady. Maybe their relationship was good before but he spoilt it with bringing her uncles abroad into the matter.

The girl's family is rich but unless she owns the house or has a good-paying job or has her own assets, he shouldn't have expectations of her family to help him.  The girl if she has the resources and he feels he can take them from her can help him if she wants, but it is wrong of him to expect her uncles (of all people) all of a sudden to send him abroad. Can you imagine?? This guy seems like a user, the chick should be wary.

Was he RIGHT to rape her?!? Are you serious?!?!? No he was not right to rape her. Nobody is ever right to rape anyone!!!

Oh everyone has good things to say about Mizani, I've never used it though.

It depends. I've had good and bad experiences with all 3 depending on who's doing the application. I like Affirm best but I feel like it really swells the cuticle of my hair and makes it really poofy somehow but I don't mind this too much because it's usually fine after my 1st post-relaxer wash. Of the No-Lyes, they're both good though the ORS is much much easier to find in Naij than the specific Optimum I like. I think i prefer the Optimum because it leaves my hair with more body than the ORS.

No-lye can be harsh on hair (even though it's nice for sensitive scalps) and it definitely processes the hair more than the lye kind. But the wash after any relaxer (like 5 days later), I use a chelating shampoo (a heavy duty clarifyer) like Nexxus Aloe Ridd, to get rid of any -OH deposits which give the hair that dry, brittle feeling (which leads to breakage). And then because any relaxer breaks protein bonds and the hair structure is delicate post-relaxer, I fortify the hair with a heavy protein treatment like Aphogee 2-step treatment or a lighter protein like Nexxus emergencee (if the night before the wash I slept with Joico K-Pak DPR (because I have it, I won't be re-buying, I prefer Aphogee 2-minute and its cheaper) or Aphogee 2-minute and a shower cap), then I deep condition for a while.

In Naij, I use the ORS Olive Oil No-Lye Relaxer; in the US if a (trusted) friend is doing it for me, I use Optimum Anti-Breakage No-Lye Relaxer; if I'm doing it at a salon in the US, then I use Affirm Fiberguard Lye Relaxer.

What about you, what do you use?

Lita:
@Tatase/Waterworks

when i used to relax, i could never leave it is long as eight weeks, or i would get breakage (at the line where the new hair and the permed hair met). as long as you're only relaxing only new growth, and not blowdrying (i used to roller set and then wrap at night) or doing anything else too stressful, i reckon it should be fine.

You'll get breakage at the line btwn new growth and relaxed hair if 1.) your new growth is not moisturized properly. 2.) you are rough with your hair when combing e.g. through blowdrying to make everything uniformly straight. 3.) you're manipulating your hair too much when wet e.g. again with blow drying or combing too much etc.

I'm about 13 weeks post-relaxer right now (usually I don't go more than 8-10 but I've been busy/lazy/not really feeling the due-ness this time) and usually by now I'll be experiencing lots of breakage but airdrying and using leave-ins and tying my hair down with the scarf method during the airdrying process (I've talked about it on this thread and you can look it up on youtube) has kept my new growth really soft and manageable and I tend to have stubborn hair that is really kinkyand resistant (even my relaxed parts aren't stick straight). Also because I know my demarcation is delicate, I'm mostly finger-combing so that I can work through tangles with my fingers gently, instead of pulling them through and breaking my hair with a comb.

The reason why its so important to stretch your relaxers as long as possible if you want thick hair is because the longer your new growth, the easier it will be for you/your stylist to not overprocess your hair by re-relaxing already relaxed parts which causes damage and thins out and weakens the hair resulting in breakage.

According to TMZ, Lisa and her husband defaulted on their home loan and the bank has repossessed and already sold their house that we see in the show. Her reps (a.k.a. herself) have been quick to come back and boast claim that she's moved into a new house with 10-acre grounds which she's paid for completely and owes no one for.

Sweet Dreams- Beyonce

@ waterworks,
Castor oil (yes the laxative kind they sell in pharmacies) makes your hair (appear and feel) thicker and helps growth (along with other good hair practices*) and its one of the few oils that is ok to use on the scalp. I used it for a while and my hair really grew and was thicker but then I stopped out of laziness and random reasons. Now I'm back to it again, though.

You only need to use a little each time you moisturize your hair i.e. use it sparingly i.e. don't saturate your hair with it, if not it'll weigh your hair down. Use your hair moisturizer first, then take a little castor oil, rub it between your palms and smooth it down your hair, focusing on the ends and the relaxed parts (although its fine to use it on the "due" parts and the scalp too).

*By the way good hair practices include things such as washing your hair more often, not being rough with wet hair, not relaxing your hair too often (every 8+ weeks is good but if that's too big an interval for you don't relax your hair more frequently than every 6 weeks), if you use gel stop or at least don't be combing you gelled hair because that breaks hair etc etc

dominique:
shows like that are for bored full-time housewives with no kids

I guess I'm a bored full-time hausfrau with no kids then. . . <shrugs> I find reality tv really entertaining and I don't even mean "classy" shows like Amazing Race or Survivor. These kinds. I don't know why people are taking it so seriously. It's not meant to be edifying; it's supposed to be stupid. Like it's called Real Housewives of Atlanta, what are you guys expecting? Recipes and tips on raising children?!? If you don't enjoy silliness, then the title alone should put you off.

Anyway @ topic
As for this week, I kind of like Kim even though she's a huge idiot with zero taste and negative sense, but I don't think Sheree is lying about what she said. Kim seems the type of friend that talks too much and makes up things to fit in. Looking forward to next week's: Sheree's hand in Kims wig- dun dun!

OMG I'm so happy that someone else watches this mess. I love all the Real Housewives even though I think so far New Jersey has been the best followed by Atlanta season 1.

Sheree has a very overstated impression of herself but that party planner (who incidentally kind of looks like Cee-Lo) is OVER!!! Like his career is done. See the way he was shouting at his client. He's never going to do any parties again. He was like a madman. Lisa and her husband are so cute together. They were kind of annoying last season but I'm feeling them this season. I was also very glad to see Sheree looked like herself because the promotion posters had her looking very mannish.

Kim's wig business is going to fail like her singing career because she's not interested in learning the ropes. She should just go and find a new Big Papa and not waste her time.

She is Love- Parachute

You're ranting like a lunatic and you're not making any sense. You need to chill out and get over whomever has frustrated you.

Don't worry it will all look better by next chick week. . .

Just in case, wait till you're married. There will be fewer complications that way. Why give the money now?

posakosa:
He runs to the bedroom to recieve calls ? Thats another story but as for money, doesn't she have her own ?

Exactly.

To be quite honest I don't really see why he should feel obligated to pay for her hair at the salon. I won't choose to go to the salon without knowing I can pay for it. Also, I don't really believe in guys giving girls money just like that all the time just because they're going out (occasional gifts are fine or help if she needs it and he's able) because it makes the relationship about money (as if he's paying for her affections) and that always causes problems.

On the other hand the guy IS acting shady. I don't care how little money you have, I think you can do something no matter how tiny on your partners birthday like get them a small gift or something. And it's also very "off" that he's asking her to take him out for his birthday. He sounds like a bit of a user or someone who likes to take advantage of others' generosity (in addition to possibly being miserly).

Lastly, the sneaking around with the phone, to me that's the icing on his shady cake. You/Your friend should definitely question where the relationship is going. Don't take action yet, just be watchful and see how it goes. The warning signs are there sha.

I have a problem with SOME of my friends going out with my brother. He's a good guy and I love my friends but because I know them well, I know which he should go out with because they'd make a good match and which he should stay away from.

But he doesn't always realize or take my advice and him breaking up with one of my friends kind of spoilt my friendship with the girl. They can't say they weren't warned that it wouldn't work though. . .

I don't know what kind of girlfriend will ask her boyfriend to flirt with other girls if she's still interested in the relationship. I think you should clarify with her whether you ARE still in the relationship.

@ topic

LOL!!!

Sorry o. . . but on a serious note, abi you realize that she's never going to meet rob pattinson however much she fantasizes about him or writes erotica about the two of them, right? I think you should let her have her fantasies as long as they're not taking over her life. After all don't you have celebrity chicks YOU fantasize about? (I mean just because you don't write stories about Halle Berry <or whoever boys like these days> doesn't mean you're any better. . . ) I don't really see it as a problem. The fascination will pass, you'll see.

I think in that situation you're obviously not on the same page in that relationship. It depends how long you've been going out. If its at the stage where marriage/engagement is the next obvious step and you're not feeling that, it may be best to end things or start trying to get on that track.

Personally I think its strange when someone in a new relationship is going on about marriage and babies but again, to each their own.

I think it depends on whether its something that would affect him/your relationship if he found out about it otherwise. And also whether someone else knows about it and could one day out you. I think everyone is entitled to one or two secrets but in a marriage, it can be dangerous to hide some things.

GEW:
do u ever wonder who these guys cheats with?

I didn't say that there weren't shady girls out there. However, who's in the relationship? Most girls in relationships are less likely to cheat than guys in relationships. I mean there are some, but guys are more likely.

topup:
Of course. They're human, they have a range of personalities, it depends on whether the personalty suits me or not.

I agree completely and with the other stuff you said. Of course I can date a virgin, why does it matter? I'd hope there's more to any relationship I'm in than sex. I don't think there's anything to be ashamed of in being a male virgin.

Plus I don't think virginity or lack thereof has anything to do with sexual knowledge. They're lots of people having sex who don't know what the eff they're about, who've had several partners because nobody wants a repeat performance with them. In the same way like there are lots of virgins who are quite knowledgeable and who can talk about sex honestly.