₦airaland Forum

ohaechesi:
I simply would assume this thread was posted by an amateur as regards to relationship and marriage and therefore needs advice from experienced ones. WIth all due respect, i have noticed with regret that most young men especially those that is below 30 years discussed marriage on this trend without knowing truely what love and marriage especially is all about. marriage is an institution of its own for two matured minds and not for young men and women. love is affordable and you can afford any amount of love you viced for from any women or else Ojukwu wouldn't had had any thing in contact with Bianka or so. this illustration is similar with the topic on board.

Therefore, i would advice the young men on this trend to focus their mindset on their future rather than mind-boggling on marriage because whether you marry a disable or a normal person, marriage as it is easy to pronounce is not a bed of roses.

MRbrownJAY:
in my opinion, there are many advantages of jumping from one relationship to the next (until you find the right person).
first of all, you will have an idea of the differences in relationships (aka experience), differences that you wouldnt see/notice if you had been with only one person in your life. many people settle for less because they believe that this is the way IT should be while it isnt.
EXAMPLE: if you are trained in only one style of dancing, then you are lacking unless you only stick to going to clubs playing that kind of music. knowing multiple style of dancing wont make your dancing experiences in these clubs any better but it would give you an idea of what you are missing OR NOT. it could also help you get your own "dance style"

if your ideas and point of views of a relationships are based on your experiences that may have been with a deadbeat then you are lacking serious experiences in life and will never be ready for real life.
jumping from one relationship to the next, you would have some experiences with women, as any person out there would know, it is DAMN difficult (if not impossible) to understand women.
in order for men  and women to understand each other fully, we need to experience different "models" of each other. a person who has only been with a fantastic/great person will never know the value of that person if she/he is the only one he ever dated and therefore might not value this relationship as much as they should.
in order to know whats good, bad or better you have to have something (within you) to compare it with. yes we can look around us but we can never truly know how it feels to be in the shoes of others until we are there.
EXAMPLE: if my mother was making the best eba in the world then the day my wife does it and it really is disgusting, i could safely tell her that:"honey, this is rubbish", if i didnt know any better then i would say:"hhmmm how tasty"

THEN we have the "bedroom department". although many people will say the contrary, i can safely say that many men who never knew anyone other than their spouse will be more tempted to "taste the waters around" than someone who has had some sexual experiences before (unless the wife was open minded enough to try "everything" once).

jumping from one relationship to another isnt suppose to be fun, but it is a necessity to be a better man/woman at marriage because MARRIAGE is not easy.
some people "think" that they have it all but how can they be sure of that fact if they dont know any better?! i mean i am not saying that you should try the extreme of both world but you have to have a taste of something different at least.
also, the only way that a man can TRULY choose a lifelong mate is by first dating and discovering him/her then deciding on that fact. there is no two ways about it. so during this dating period, you are discovering things that can either be good or bad in your"book". if the flaws you discover about this person are just too  much for you to bare then you just have to repeat that process with the next guy in your life until you find that special person.
nobody should ever settle for less and therefore, like everything else in life, some comparison is needed to know something's value

how many out there have made mistakes in their love life that destroyed a past relationship? mistake made because of your immaturity/lack of experiences in being and sharing your life with someone. i say better make these mistakes with someone you are dating, learn from your mistakes, get back on your feet and be a better person than making these mistakes with someone that you might share the rest of your life with.
marriage was never meant to be insulted/abused for the rest of your life because of ONE error.

hooged:
Im in NIFOR benin (nigerian institute for oil palm research) .nifor is one of d best place to serve in edo state. Edo is a nice place,they greet hell out of u,and their things are expensive except ladies.i once stay in osogbo at layi aruna street,7month ago ,bt im frm ilesa.nice to read 4rm u.

MRbrownJAY:
in my mind, knowing that this guy was the father is not the problem. my problem would be discovering how low the woman i just married could go and that i would have to be extra careful from that point on. if she has no respect for such the friendship she had with her best friend then i dont think her views about marriage are any different. it would have showed me that this women is weak and that hurting her loved ones is NOT a problem to her.
dumping her right there is not an option because she could be a totally different person with me and also i would have made a commitment to that child so i would try to stick with even if the father is around.
the fact that the father is the best friend's husband doesnt mean that i wouldnt have a relationship with that kid, if the mother is my wife then that kid will be my step child and surely enough, i might be the "father figure" for that kid since the biological father is a rat. if someone has to be punished in all this mess, it is definitely not the kid.

some men give their whole life to women and therefore when they realize that they have been duped, they can be either pretty vicious or loose their bloody mind all completely. also, when you look at how 9ja men look for excellence and "purity" in their women, you can imagine how much lie and deceit you will find in todays couple. i am sure there are many women who have done their fair share of "slutting" and then got hold of some gullible guy and change their ways but if you scratch the surface you will find hell.
the problem is that people cant/wont stand for what they are and what they believe in. if you have fire in your pants then make sure that the woman/man you marry knows full well of what kind of person they are getting down with. so that they can perform and take care of you accordingly. many guys also want to have "correct" women at their side to be their wives but what they really need are freaks (just like them). the ideology of a beautiful wife to have the children and be seen with and then some mistress to fulfill all my freaky fantasies. i say TURN YOUR WIFE INTO THE FREAK YOU DESIRE.
i mean, check this following thread about what men want sexually and ask yourself how many of these men would expect it from their wives?
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-296517.0.html

now ask these posters the same question putting "your wife" instead of "your partner" in it and see the difference.

tinu16:
@The Seeker
May Almighty Allah Subhana Watallah forgive u for bringing Baba Adam on board.

Baba Suwe is understandable cos he is a clown (comedian) but y dont u let d dead asleep.

Allah forgives u sha

ibkaye:
Would just like to say that just because you're 'seen it before' doesn't mean that the posters case is neccesarily the same.Don't quite understand how you know that, as debosky has stated, 'she could be really confused about what to do and not be a gold digger'. (Notice the word I used, 'could', not 'is')

I believe that was a statement in response to one of your earlier comments 'This girl is another gold digger. She's confused because she wants to take the offer and wants a tip on how to keep it on the down low from her boyfriend.'

Fair enough this could be the case, I'm not saying it is neither am I saying it isn't, but we don't know that, maybe it's just me, but you put these statements across as though you knew for a fact that this is definitely the case, everybody has their conclusions, it's just the way we put them across that matters.

platinumnk:
[glow=teal,2,300] That quote was my question. [/glow]

wilson007:
@The seeker, just in case u are so stupid to knw dat this is a forum where people open up to others opinion, maybe u are too foolish 2 understand d simple ideology, don't get me wrong, ur insult are allowed but don't be stupid 2 say at my age i can't handle my emotions FOOL!! 2 head are better than one except ur dum ass, 'see who dey look 007 face'

ibkaye:
Noticed something about you 'TheSeeker', you treat your assumptions as facts.

davidylan:
as far as i'm concerned though, at 18 both of them shld have something better to do than playing bf-gf.

If they are both serious about their relationship then big brothers would be the last thing on their minds.

davidylan:
that depends on him . . . did he make an effort to go in? I dont like hide-and-seek relationships . . . i would have gone in and spent that 1hr getting myself familiar with her family. I'm sure she would have appreciated that.