₦airaland Forum

Love takes time to build up and when it does, it doesn't fade. I would have loved to go deeper into relationships but you wanted to know about love.

gen2genius:
LORD HAVE MERCY!!!

I can't believe what I'm reading here! 

See people who claim to be IN LOVE Fake love, methinks. You all should bow your heads in shame and confess to your partners that you're fair-weathers lovers. What kind of love do you claim for someone when you cannot RISK YOUR OWN LIFE to save theirs? What then is TRUE LOVE?

I know most women's "love" depends on what they see and get NOW. But for guys who claim they're not Jack of "Titanic," so what would you do if you were in his shoes? Allow your woman, the love of your life, the one you swore to love and protect in ALL situations to die so painfully while you cling to the only means of survival

Gosh. . .I'M SO SO DISAPPOINTED

I seriously hope you're not for real. If that is so, why don't you go have a relationship with a blind girl just so she could bring out the philanthropy in you. 

Jack of Titanic was a character in a movie -- they are just mere fantasies.

What I'd do if I were in his shoes? - I'd share the plank with her and we'll both drown and continue our relationship wherever else - heaven or hell.

Swore to love and protect - I may have done that but I never specified I will at the expense of my own life, and if it ever came to that, there's a word called "understanding" and there is another called "negotiation" there is also another named "withdraw"

What planet are you from? Mars? I just can't resist puking. Heading towards the comfort zone!

@Poster

I SENSE AN OVERDOSE OF THOSE GOOD 'OL RAMSEY NOUAH FLICKS RUNNING IN YOUR RED BLOOD STREAM!

The guy's action was too rash. He should have mediated and know what really happened.

MRbrownJAY:
also there is no point having your way to a womans heart if she is not going to listen to it and instead: ask her pastor if you are fit for her, ask her parents if they bless the union, ask her friends if you are "good" enough material or ask god for a heavenly sign.

You just said it about right. Nigerian girls are yet to come to terms with what love means. Asking their spiritual leaders, friends and parents if someone is good for them, to me, isn't a sign of "love" _{though I don't believe 20% of them know what love is, they're just after the deep purse stashed with doughz}

prittigrrr:
Well u may need money to do somethings. However,  money is not all.

That's for an average person who lives in the Western world, unfortunately, I don't think this holds in Nigeria from my experience.

Enockia:
wat will do stop payin his skool fees?

No, but I could use a brand new brain seeing that he's never used his.

From your story line, you are making us to understand that, she left for Ireland because she caught you cheating? Do you really think that is true? She'd travel all the way to Ireland because you cheated on her? That's a total fallacy.

Getting there, she didn't realize she still loved you the first 12 months, until she met another guy. hmmmmm, then again, she opted to move in with the guy, got pregnant, still she hasn't realized she loved you then? Huh? OK. She had the first child, no traces of her feelings for you found! Second child, none! 8 years later, she's coming back for you? You say you're in love with her, that may be right but ask yourself why you're in love with her? Are you sure you're not just infatuating?

If I should let you know my opinion, sad but very honest, she's on to a game. She probably can't find any legible single guy who'll marry her and she thinks her next port of call is you, a guy in Nigeria, who as many others, is willing to travel to Europe and stay. I think she's trying to buy you off with her citizenship status and just maybe you're falling for that without your consent. Like many other opportunists, you can go with her to Europe, get married to her and be a citizen too but later divorce her(only if that's what you wan' do). But be sure that she's not using you to peddle drugs out of the country. These bi*****ches could be heartless and devoid of moral conscience at times.

Enockia:
he is only telling them to reason again

That is what you think but he has insulted me three times so far on NL but I have never said none to him. I think he has sensible posts, I'm not disputing that but sometimes he gets down too low that I think he's so dumb! Whatever! That's how he chooses to talk but if he insults me again, he won't find it funny.

Enockia:
look 190 has some nice posts so i totally disagree wit u

And what about the ones where he had insulted people? Well, I think he's a nobody's fool but I sincerely hope someone adopts him

Missy B:
That sounds more like an assay than an opinion to me.
Caution:That 'best' thang had better be not allowing her stay at Your place.

I get your drift. Of course I wouldn't let her stay over at my place when I know my girlfriend could come anytime, it'd seem to me like disrespect to her and the relationship, but I'm seeking opinions to see if there may be some kinda provision to help her out, while I apply extreme caution or something.

190:
cant u peeps see
he nids sm1 2 tell him wot he wants

@poster
tell her 2 stay so u can Bleep her
hope ure happy now

I've seen some of your comments on NL and sometimes I bring your mental sanity under a microscopic scrutiny. Honestly!

ekoboy:
i pity our girlfriend. From her answer u'll see she is weak and infact knows she is loosing you. Am sure she is shopping for another boyfriend right now.
UR EX STAY WITH U!!!.That is unheard of. Am sure u'll sleep with her the very first night.
Imagine ur girlfriend telling u she wants to spend the night with her ex.
Evidently ur still interested in ur ex and u're seeing this as an opportunity to have her back. Good for u but please don't try deceiving the poor girl u call ur girlfriend.

Your comment was appreciated but you were way too conclusive!

izeek:
it sounds to me like u have made up ur mind.
dont let us stop u, go ahead, and take her in if u ready to loose ur new babe.

That's not what I meant. I'm just explicating the issue in a more detailed preview.

izeek:
when she left to come for this programme, what plans did she make,
cos apparently her plan never involved bumping into you unexpected.

if you must help, pay for a hotel, whatever but not ur house!

She was planning on staying at a hotel until she's able to find an apartment. But the hotels close to where she'll be attending the program are so expensive and there's a good chance it will take another 3 weeks before she gets an apartment, so looking on the side of the finances, she pulls off this suggestion. Then again, she didn't expect she was going to be admitted for the program -- just came as a shock to her.

izeek:
not wise atall.
if you must help, arrange for a female friend of yours that can take her in.
but not you.

And if none of my female friends is comfortable enough to accept her to stay with her?

Basic facts but you missed some important ones though. You did alright.

I used to have a girlfriend, I loved her very much. But after a few years we both lost contact and when I waited for a year and half for her with no words coming forth from nowhere, I met another girl and we started a relationship. The relationship, however, is still on going. Last week, I met my former girlfriend, we talked over stuff that happened between us and how we lost contact but she wasn't really happy I have another girlfriend now but later claims she understands. Right now, she's in town and wants to start a program which is going to last for about 12 months and she needs a place to stay for a couple of weeks until she sorts out her accommodation problem. I have talked it over with my girlfriend about it but she doesn't seem to have anything to say, she said I should do what I think is best. Do you think I should let her stay until she's on her feet around or should I decline her request? Please this is a pressing issue.

9ja4lyfe:
@izeek

you are right, but he didnt have concrete proof that she cheated even though he saw it, so it was his word against hers.

You are right on that. Basically here, I know women want to be all up your crib and life cuz they want a share of your hard - earned money. Most of them don't even wanna sign it.

ak21:
Chelsea to me has always been an enemy to my joy so don,t dare talk about chelsea because it makes me sad

What club do you support?

This is all simpler than y'all have depicted. I will put it up like this. First of all the poster said "girlfriend" and "best friend". Let me be clearer to state that the term "girlfriend" is different from "wife". Now, my "wife" is guaranteed the front seat only because we're married and my "best friend" has to understand and respect the union. The term best friend means someone who is always there for you whenever you need them, difficult times, fun times and when you both laugh off your pains and get on with life. Best friend will always be there even when your relationship with your supposed girlfriend crumbles. If letting my best friend sit in the front at the expense of my girlfriend is going to hurt her, please God in heaven let me hurt her more with such actions. I will make an instance about myself. I have a best friend, just only him, no one else. We have been there for each other for close to 12 years. He knows everything about me as well as I do him. We understand and have the utmost respect for each other. He has witnessed me go in and out of different relationships. How do you think our bond would have been if I had in one of those relationships, disrespect him or place my girlfriend over him? How do I even tell my friend to go and sit in the back seat because a girlfriend I just knew perhaps for a year wants to sit in the front? If he chooses to respect her and let her sit in the front, so be it. If he doesn't, I don't want to hear no whining from her. We are more than brothers and I have to pull all the respect I can towards him and that includes making my girlfriend understand that she has to respect him as much as she respects me. I can never place my girlfriend over my friend, albeit, that doesn't connote she's not important to me, of course she is but certain things have to be done the right way as I believe if she truly loves me, she will understand my actions. Now, if we're talking about a wife, that will entirely be something else.

Conclusively, let me add that depending on where we are going my girlfriend might take the front seat while my best friend sits in the back. If we're going on a date and I'm dropping my friend off along the way or he's going to his girlfriend's place and we're going to drop him off, you know, places like this, then my girlfriend sits in the front. Guys, don't disrespect your best friend because of a girlfriend, it will always come back to haunt you, trust me. I've been there.

vickydon56:
Pls how much is the euro in naira?

And what has this got to do with this thread? Huh? Now beat it!

@Poster

Tell her you would like to be friends first and take it from there. While you're doing that, keep avoiding her as best as you can -- with time she will understand you're not into her and she lets you off. If at all she summons the courage to talk to you on a friendship level and ask you what's going on then tell her a story that you have a girlfriend with whom you have issues with and you're yet to resolve all of the mess you both have together, that until you figure things out with her and know where y'all both stand you can't start off a good relationship. Go on further to tell her she's a special person and you so wish to have a smooth relationship with her with no scandals or mess but you're afraid it might take sometime to get things figured out in your current relationship. If she asks you how long it's going to take, tell her you don't know how it'll pan out yet. Even if she claims or acts like she knows everything about you, let her understand that she can't know absolutely everything about you. I'm sure at some point she'll quit hoping but each time you talk to her let her know how special she is and how much you wish for a hindrance not to have been on y'all way.

[quote author=Igwe. link=topic=289163.msg4098433#msg4098433 date=1246103427]Eeeh! what of the women that beat their husbands anything for them? [/quote]Why would a man marry a woman who can overpower him too? Maybe such man needs to watch NORBIT!

iice:
[color=#9900ff]True words.[/color]

But on the other end, do you think a relationship seems better without jealousy than a relationship with none?

When she is angry, she yells and talks but I have this bad look that I wear when I know an argument is about to crop up and it means "BACK OFF". I don't believe in hitting women, I hate it in its entirety.

When I am angry, I just walk away. Might take a few days before I come to terms with anything and then I'll get over it. We just laugh over it, I talk to her and we just get back together again. When such things don't happen then your relationship is likely going to crash.

iice:
[color=#9900ff]I know. . .i hear alot of crap from my friends about jealous gfs. And from girls - possessive bfs.
I think one has to view the situation more with the head and deem if it is necessarily to rant or throw a bitch fit like my sister says. Somethings really aren't worth the time and energy.

I think sometimes people are so wrapped up in the their partners, they don't want their partners to share time with other people especially of the opposite sex. Life is more than just the two of you. . .So long as partners know their boundaries and are bound by their word, there shouldn't be case for the jealousy (sadly some people are fickle and don't know their boundaries).
[/color]

You are right, some guys can be annoyingly possessive. I have a few friends who I know to be very possessive and I have been successful at talking some out of it but it seems to be seated deeper in action that it just appears on the face. I can say I have got jealous a few times myself but that was when necessary and when certainly almost everyone had thought I was being a fool, then I struck. But getting pissed off over little things to me means less than being matured. People should work hard at overlooking some issues that aren't worth channeling a lot of emotional energy into just like you had suggested. I believe a relationship works more and becomes less boring when both partners have fun with people outside their relationship and always know where to put a fine line between platonic interaction and an unscrupulous romantic scandal.

Men who beat women are supposed to be bound in chains and whisked away to a medical rehabilitation center. I honestly don't think there is anything a woman would do that will be pertinent to her being in request of a hit. Stop making men look bad, there are enough out there already

iice:
[color=#9900ff]It's so normal around a number of countries around that world that it's scary.

What is so normal around a number of countries? Forcing marriage on a 19 year old girl? Or making off financial gains from marriage?

What is it that you can tell about love? Is it built over time? Does anything exist such as "love at first sight"? What has made you fall out of love? When you love someone can you dislike them again at some point? Say what it is you can about love.

iice:
[color=#9900ff]Only one has shown jealousy to the extreme of possessive
All i said was 'I don't look at me that way' and he got calm
He knew there was nothing to worry about

I'm not much of a jealous person.  Once i feel it begin to develop, i squash it. 
Don't have time for the negative energy it takes.  .  .  .
Yes it can be helpful but it can also be a detriment to the relationship.  Some people are jealous over little things - now it's up to their partner to agree or disagree with the level of jealousy.[/color]

You're absolutely right on that one. The most type of jealousy I can recount to have been through is where my girlfriends have been jealous over petty things. Like talking to girls on the phone in their presence and they got unnecessarily bitchy about it. I mean it's just insane.

wavemasta:
As to the person who asked if English language is a skill, you have no idea you are in a race, and sorry but yoruba, ibo, or hausa is not going to get you an international business or major account for your bank. If English isn't important, I wonder why I have met so many foreigners desperately trying to learn it. Thats because they know, that to compete in the job market, you need to be able to communicate and get your facts across, and that, is why English is a skill, and its for the same reason that French is the diplomatic language.

Chei! My generation!

PLEASE RESOUND IT TO THEIR HEARING!