₦airaland Forum

enkay27:
Men are nothing less than dog.....i pity women that so much believe in them. As for me they are local dogs.....

Like someone has asked here before,I'll ask you.What breed is your father and brothers if you got one?

You have to learn how not to use your experience to generalize.

Women ought to be friends with their husband-to-be first before marriage.Men do get bored and tempted if the wife they married is not someone they enjoy having conversations with.It's no reason to cheat but it's one reason why some men have all that chat mates and bbm convo.It often leads to other things including meet-ups.

Nothing is wrong with having friends but marriage comes with a responsibility and a discipline which some men have not learnt.

I'm afraid you really can't do anything about these kinds of people.I have slept on the same bed with a few.You slap or pinch them and it takes some time before they wake.
you just have to get a separate bed to sleep on.

MojAyo:
hello,I'm nt a young girl and I knw what I worth,when I was staying under my parents,I knw what I worth,just becos I'm nt working,dats what made it to tell on me,and I've already find a solution to dat

I know you are not a young girl.You are gbogbo bigs girl!Yes I know how much you are worth.

What i am saying in essence is that you put your hands to the plow..

bukatyne:
A du.mb mother will raise du.mb girls

That's true.How can we help some of these young girls?

If you pray about it and God shows you a person as your future partner,God will also show the brother and make your meeting possible.
God is not some confusionist.He makes all things perfect in His time.
It is possible not to pray and still marry on time.There is the good,acceptable and perfect will of God.

zikclassiq:
You are on point bro. But why are churches baptising in father son and HolyGhost? Are they not going against scriptures. I can name churches(i would'nt though) which have been baptizing in father son ...

Scriptures are all about revelation.You can only go in the direction of the knowledge you have.
The churches do what they know until it is revealed to them.

MojAyo:
anyway,tanx,its becos of love dat make u to comment,I appreciate

Nothing but love my sister.You have a challenging situation at hand but it's what many have been through and you can do too and smile at the end.
The most important thing as many have said is that you get a job.Have something doing that brings an income.That way,you will be less dependent and your mum and siblings will have less cause to insult you.
While you say with them,just numb your mind to the insults.

'And Jesus came and spake unto them,saying,All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth.Go ye therefore,and teach all nations,baptising them in the Name of the Father,and of the Son,and of the Holy Ghost(Matt.28:18-19).
Did you notice the bible says in the 'Name' and not in the 'names'?The question is what 'Name'?

Now see this scripture;
'And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name,that will I do,that the father may be glorified in the son(John 14:13).
Did you see this?Jesus said if you ask in My Name(Jesus),the Father will be glorified.

The disciples did not in any way contradict Jesus.They baptised in the Name of Jesus which was what Jesus taught;the Name of the Father,Son and Holy Spirit.

HumbledbYGrace:
Don't ever look down on someone unless your going to help them

my comment suggests nothing of such.
I'm sure chastising her but never looking down.The other part of my comments sure shows what I want her to do.

It's so important to raise young girls right.Mothers,please spend quality time with your daughters and feed their minds. Some girls just grow up d**b.

Young lady,this abuse will continue cos you brought it upon yourself.What you have to do is get a job,no matter how little.That way,you will become less dependent on your mum and you will be able to save enough to get an accommodation of your own later.

You married one of dem........ladies.
You can still get her to change but she will need to learn how to talk right.
Do you have a religious body you associate with?Is your wife a part of a fellowship?

Learn to show love and respect to her and she will reciprocate with time.Also learn to walk away before the atmosphere gets heated up.

chaircover:
@mutter welcome back babes
Hope you are all good

@thread, I dont have much to say as most has already been said. however I will look at this from another angle. It may be too late for the poster, but hopefully someone else is learning something from this

My question is what do you as a woman bring to the union in terms of career advancement & personal development?

I dont beleive that a woman who has an established and successful business or career will suddenly be told by her husband to give it up.

He promised to open a shop for you and he went back on his word, however, If you already had a shop before you married him, then no need to chase him and there wont be any oppourtunity for him to mess you about.

Inshort as women we have some responsibility towards our own futures. Our lives do not start the day we become a Mrs. We should already be living our lives and primed ready for marriage.

Just to add,women ought to discuss this with whoever they are dating and ensure they have the same orientation and outlook.Some men are somewhat primitive in their thinking.Op's husband saying she should not work cos she can be influenced.Na today.Are there not housewives who have men visiting them or meeting somewhere?
A woman should empower herself and have a career beyond being a Mrs.I understand you may need to give up a more demanding job for a less demanding job sometimes.

Ipledge:
Accept it,I am just a pathetic fool,using every slightest chance to show his foolishness.she already have two options,instead following what she is bothering her...i open my mouth like made in China XL "face your study" as i am not even a high school leaver

No wonder!

Does your aunty have a spiritual husband too that tells her to take the beating?Does she have to stay there?She should find a way to move out first and have her peace until the man's spiritual wife leaves.

babeshayo:
that's exactly what I want for myself but I can't just do without having someone I can think of n smiles coms to my face. it keeps me hapi lik I av a companion and evritin is complete then I can move on

You can maintain friendships with guys.When the time is right the right guy will be there.There's no point having relationships with guys that leave you heartbroken.

Ipledge:
I hate people like you,if I have the power to kill all hypocrite on earth,I won't hesitate to that in the next min...as if you won't bleep if she spread her leg

Though I don't subscribe to suicide,I think this hate of yours should make u do it.I guess u're just a kid.

She must have bled from bruises.She wasn't well lubricated.

Why don't you pay more attention to your studies?There is time for all this later.

lovelyronke20:
The authors even claim they have evidences am like seriously??

They wlll present whatever they have and claim it's the evidence.

People will write all kinds of nonsense.
Some to sell their books and some to carry out the devil's works.

What is her reason for the intention?Is her husband cheating?

Tiredwify:
In as much as I know that I shouldn't have locked his shirt, he shouted on me, we had an heated argument, and it got physical. I am not trying to justify my acts.

I have been supportive of this man even before we got married. Like SapeleDon said, I have brought up discussions several times on how he wants me to help in offsetting his debts. Still, he didnt tell me how much debts he had and who he is owing. I wouldn't have raised an eyebrow if my salary has been paid, but I was saddened by the fact that he collected salary and didnt give me a dime for home upkeep. All he did was to buy the baby's diaper and food. No explanation, no discussion whatsoever. I am a woman that believes in communication so much, that is why I ask questions when I am displeased or unclear about issues. I dont assume and I dont pretend. But I have noticed that anytime we have discussions bordering on finances, it usually ends in quarrel or fight. For how long do I continue this? I am not even saying he should foot bills in the home, I am capable of doing all, just that I am cash strapped at the moment because our salary was delayed. All I needed was an explanation of how he spent his last income that we dont even have a penny in the house, and it has been like calling him to buy baby's food, bring money home from work to source for dinner etc. Even the weekly allowances I get from the office, I use it to organise meals (breakfast and dinner). It is when I don't have that I ask him for money and I all I get is "I don't have money". That got me wondering.

I know that our foundation is shaky, I don't know who to talk to about it, I am tired of boring my elder siblings with my story. My dad is old, I don't want to bother him too. His mum...that is another story for another day; Our pastors...we started attending the church when we got married and I am not sure I can trust my issues with them, I don't want anyone to be discussing my family on the pulpit. I have recommended to him severally that we need to see a marriage counselor, he said we don't need it.

I am dutiful wife and mother, and I believe in supporting my husband in all areas. I even went as far as seeking another job so as to have increased income for the family. Thank God he answered my prayers and I will be resuming in the new place very soon. All I ask for and I am still asking for is for him to let me into his financial life.

Unlike someone commented in this forum whether I have high taste, no I don't. But I do have taste. I can't say that we should go and live in far places like iyana ipaja, alimosho or any other area where rent is cheap when I go to school every evening after work (undergoing my Masters Prog). It is very commonsensical to get a place that has direct access to our places of work and my school.

I don't ask for what I cannot afford. I don't believe in saving when we have a need to be met (that has been my principle, maybe it is time for me to change it). I am not an impulsive buyer. I have only done cloth shopping twice this year (in January and when I resumed from maternity leave cos my size increased). I cant even remember the last time I changed my make up kit. I do my hair once in a month. I can go on and on and on.

If you know any independent marriage counselor we can visit, please I don't mind. I will still try and talk him into it.

You will need to cool down and when you have a conducive atmosphere,have a talk with your husband about finances.
There's no doubt that your husband has worked himself in much debt that he is finding hard to settle.
Who does your husband listen to?In marriage,having someone you or your partner respects and can listen to is important.
Your marriage is still young and rough patches are not unexpected but you both should calm down and make things work.

Have you considered that when you are old,you will be bald,have grey hair,a wrinkled face,a protruding tummy,poor gait and probably poor erektion?
I'm sure many won't find you attractive then.

I thought there is an ongoing strike by PT and other health workers.Can you confirm that indeed they approved consultancy training for allied health workers?

indigene:
What of if the ATM prompts you to change your password, if this is the first time, you re using, your card, What will you do?

Simply change your password.
Do that first and then do the transaction.

salam1:
. How r u sure dose carrying out r not church goers nd how r u sure they r notherners? Bro use ur head wen commenting

This is one of the reasons why this kind of thing will continue.This self-deceit.Instead of dealing with the root cause of it,people like you try to divert it to other places.

babyosisi:
I have not seen the op
I have not examined him. Or seen his test results
He told us in the beginning he could not pee pee
We also heard he was short of breath
The doctor at LUTH questioned chronic liver failure or ascites from malignancy
And now this doctor is talking of transplant
So I am still working out of that LUTH differential diagnosis.
IMHO,this is an emergency situation

If the doctor is talking about a transplant,then it must have been concluded that he needs one.I think that's where we all should focus on.
Like you said,it's an emergency situation.

Waliyllahi:
ok pls see ma

pls send me a PM.

babyosisi:
Even for a fee I ain't speaking to nobody
Some people are getting orgas*ms off this thread when there is a life at risk
I have already listed the questions I would ask
Someone should ask them and get us the answers,hopefully they will know the follow up questions to add

Still going by what the LUTH doctor wrote,this young man doesn't have time on his hands,medically speaking
Time is being wasted here I am afraid

The guys going should be able to give a good feedback when they get there.
Of course we know how liver issues are.The faster,the better.

EfemenaXY:
No worries, but I haven't read the whole thread either.

I think Olu4life has got the doctor's number, so he should be able to give it to you so you can ask the relevant questions. Someone did touch on doctor-patient confidentiality, but I don't know how that would work / apply in this situation as DJDOLA is everyone's concern here. Carcata's very much on point with updates, but I don't know what needs to be done for the doctor to give you the relevant information.

Babyosisi's also touched on some questions she would have asked as a medic herself, so I'm thinking maybe you two can discuss what needs to be asked, and when? Whatever happens, we all need to be sure that the doctor knows exactly what needs to be done, but more importantly, if DJDOLA's case is within his capabilities and if he has the facilities and staff to do the job.

I see some people are going to visit.When they get to see Djdola and the doctor handling his case,someone should be able to speak with the doctor.
Incidentally,the doctor might not really want to speak with strangers on phone.If he has to speak at all,it will be in the presence of someone(a relative)there.
Babyosisi,pls let me know if you are making a call.

Hero10001:
What about the Stronger and Powerful Petrodollar woman that is managing the petrodollar industry for her "TAN" boyfriend that suddenly became the richest in Africa recently against all odds?
She's got it.

I'm not sure about that one.She's strong and powerful no doubt but can't say about family.