₦airaland Forum

We live in a society where men are loved less and their sacrifices not recognized.
Nobody wants to hear about a man's problems. But the whole world will stand in line to defend a woman even when she doesn't want to be saved.

advanceDNA:
.... there's no such thing as Christian countries....no country in the world is governed by biblical laws only

there are Islamic countries doesn't mean the opposite are Christian countries

I was thinking countries like Italy should pass for a "christian country". Maybe I'm wrong

If this were to be a christian country, they'd be more concerned with political correctness than upholding their religious and moral standards.
NB: I'm not Islam.

I was sex molested when I was six by our neighbor who should be around 18 as at then.
She molested me until I turned eight. But it doesn't and never caused me any lasting trauma.
Why is yours different. Was it beyond molestation?

BigBellyBurst:
Why do I have a feeling that it's a female behind this account?

It got me thinking too

lecturer50:
I saw a post on groom shower on the front page and so many men are so angry about it.

Sometimes you buy food and eat and some men are very angry and ashamed that you are eating food.

Men are ashamed of everything except when it involves sex and violence.

A man who is ashamed that he is eating good food will surprisingly not be ashamed when he is trying to rape someone's child or wife.


He would not be ashamed when he is trying to poison someone just because he is doing better than him.


In my University days, I used to walk fast and men would be having problems with me walking fast. Some would call me and complained that they like seeing me walk fast. That they don't like it. One man was arrested when he used knife to kill someone. When he was released, the men around were not ashamed of him. Yet they were ashamed that I liked drinking coke and walking fast. I was their problem.


Someone received a loan which he didn't apply for from a bank. He asked on our WhatsApp platform whether anyone else had received such loan. No one answered him.

The next day some men called him and began to get angry that why must he post his personal problem. I was wondering the way men reason.

Men have problem with everything except sex, violence and wickedness.


But women are the opposite.


A woman does not have problem with anything she or another person does. She is not ashamed to buy herself good food.

She is only ashamed of someone who is wicked or evil. She is also ashamed of herself sometimes if she engages in sexual stuff.


But men would be more ashamed of a man who buys cake and drinks than a man who was caught in armed robbery.


Is it that men have subconsciously link manliness to doing daring things like robbery, wickedness and rape?

Is it that they have unconsciously link every other thing to femininity, that is why even to watch a good movie is a problem to men except the movie involve violence, wickedness and shedding of blood?

I don't want to sound to sound harsh, but it seems you're leaving in your mind.

edoairways:
They teach heresies

No. They don't.

They draw their teachings from the bible even more than most motivational pentecostal churches out there.

The thing is just that people don't usually welcome the truth. Especially, when it challenges what they've been raised to believe.

The blood transfusion thing is a different issue. I don't totally agree with them on that one.

I'm not a Jehova witness, but I believe their teachings more than that of the Catholics and pentecostals.

I will talk later on the trinity thing

Two people I know. Told me about the premonition of afterlife that they had.

The two accounts were blissful. Non of them contained such frightening scenes, like horrific bonfires, demons incessantly piercing someone with long needles, or twisting someone like a piece of washed clothes.

I believe there's an afterlife though.

dopedan:
My girl is just 20 but she doesn’t want sex till after marriage, she is a good girl very sweet and pretty, shes still a student and has never demanded any thing other than my attention and love, i don’t know if i can be celibate till i get married cuz im in my early 20’s and i may start thinking of marriage in d next 6 or 7 years, please what is ur advice for me
no insults please

Have it in mind, that it's 99% unlikely that she will marry you. Except you hit it big real soon.
She'd leave you and marry the highest bidder when he comes along.

With the above in mind. Choose what you want to do

obembet:
I know some Nigerians are very funny but I don't think anyone can try this nonsense.

I stil believe that it can never happened sha

See The Hilarious Notice Pasted In Tanterlizer SurelereLagos.

You don't know what you're saying. Go to ShopRite and see a lot of runs girls very willing to give you a quick f*ck in the toilets.
I'm telling you what I know. It happens often in most of these big restaurants.

They even prefer it that way. No following you home or any long story. Just enter toilet, lift gown (they don't wear anything inside) then bend over and the rest is story.

Kobojunkiee:
According to the Op, the man had in past been handing gifts to her parents so it really isn't hard to believe he could go to them without first seeking her permission first.

Doesn't the parents know she's no longer with him?
Who makes that kind of movement? Just rise from his house and go straight to see parents without any form of encouragement.

Well, if the ex is just acting on his own device. Then the op shouldn't worry.
The said girl is old enough to override her parents decisions on this issue.

Kobojunkiee:
Did you read the story at all? The gal wants to marry this OP who for some reason refuses to go see her parents but the other man has gone to see her parents instead for her hand. So on what grounds do you accuse the gal of using the OP?

The ex going to see the parents without the girls consent makes me suspect her.
How can someone just go to see parents without talking with the bride to be?

If this story is real then it's clear the girl never liked you genuinely.
She's still longing for her abusive ex while she's using you to pass time.

I suspected you were being too nice to her and she's not seeing that abusive vibes in you.
Younger women love a little touch of abuse and toxicity in their relationship. To them, it signifies a worthy partner and it's like a psych-based aphrodisiac to them. If you were abusive and toxic to an extent, the other guy will have a hard time getting her back on.

Even if you married that girl, the ex would always have unrestricted access to her whenever he wants.

My advice. Draw the lines. Ask her who she wants to be with.
Tell her in clear words to cut ties with that ex if it's she wants and tell her parents it's you she wants to marry. Fall back to your base and give her like very short time to to do as you said.
Never bed, or sound emotional and pitiful. That's a deal-breaker.

ImaIma1:
No need to argue back and forth on this matter. When you get married, it will be clearer. Till then, you can keep observing and concluding.

It can't get any clearer than this ma'am.
Be well.

ImaIma1:
As I said, you need to be married to make an informed opinion. When you do get married, you will remember this chat and smile.

There's nothing here to remember. It would be nothing different from what I said here and you know it.
Remember your initial question "Why men don't marry a woman that is capable of helping financially?" Then I answered that primarily, men want something different from money when looking for a woman. The reason being that by the time she makes money, she's lost her ability to be the kind of woman a man would want.
But the bad economy has encouraged more men to accept the trade-off.

ImaIma1:
All the one you are saying in theory and hypothesis. Only your own experience will count. Deep down you know this because you sound smart. But I might be wrong.

I know people will always have varied experiences on same matter, but doesn't change the natural other of man to woman relationship.
You know intelligence is relative. Yes you might be wrong in your assumptions about my intelligence, and another person so right on the same assumption.
Everyone is intelligent if you ask me, but not always in the aspect we want them to be.

Why do you think rich men cheat on their rich wives with younger but broke women? If money is what men want from women, why don't they cheat with older and financially capable women?
Go to campuses and see how rich men are trooping in looking for young girls that has no money. Why are they not going to secretariates and other big offices where they'd find capable women?
The answer is clear as day.

ImaIma1:
You are only talking about an ideal situation where you have enough money for her to fall back on. For how long?

Money is hardly enough. That's why I said couples should never live above their means so that growth will be possible.
For how long? She's working and the fall back is just to cushion her for a while. Assuming there's no livelong investment.

ImaIma1:
I know someone, an inlaw, whose husband forbade her from working. When he died, it wasn't easy. Now her kids are grown, she has to completely depend on them. No single dime of her own. She keeps complaining about her husband holding her back.

This is a different case. I didn't say she shouldn't work, that would make her bored at home. I'd encourage her to start something worth her time and energy at the early stage of the marriage.
The point here is not that I don't want her to have a little money of her own, but I don't want to have her only after she's washed out in the pursuit of that money.

Know this. When a man that is looking for a woman to pair with, her finance is among the least he considers. This is because she can still make the money in your house. But if she's no longer has the allure of a woman, nothing can restore it.

ImaIma1:
When I say you should wait till you get married, it is not that I am trying to insult you. But you can't be a single person and give an informed opinion no matter how close to you are to married family members. It's simple wisdom.

Not family members. Most of them are friends.
As for this aspect of marriage. I don't agree one must be married before they understand it. A close observation of multiple homes will give you enough info to work with.

ImaIma1:
It's not enough to be close to married people. Are you in their private moments? Are you in their bedrooms? You only go by what you are told/what they want you to know.

I didn't say friend, but family friend. That would tell you I'm not just close, but a member. I like getting very involved in my friends lives some times.

ImaIma1:
When you are married, you will be able to contribute with facts. Any man who wants to be the only one to provide financially just wants to control his woman.

You don't necessarily need to become something before you can understand that thing to a satisfactory level. A great number of single person understand marriage more than the married ones sef.
Understand this. Men don't want to be the only provider, but they got no choice. It's either he gets a woman he won't enjoy living with hoping on the little money she's got that she never actually gives, or a young naturally clean happy girl that he will enjoy staying with and later fix her up with something.

How many financially capable modest (not the I have changed type) young girls do you see around you. Not much.

Now, you mentioned control. Why would you want someone you can't control to become part of you. It's a man that absorbs a woman, and at that a little control is needed. Except you're talking about some other kind of control.

ImaIma1:
God forbid that you leave this world with her to take care of the children, you will ne leaving a "useless" woman that will be running from pillar to post to provide for the kids.

I won't live beyond my means, and won't raise an isolated family. If I die, they'll be much (people and resource) for her to fall back on. And I remember saying I'd fix her up with something within few years of marriage.

ImaIma1:
Are you married? Or this is just based on theory and hypothesis?

I'm not married, but I'm family friends with a few married people (men and women). What I tell you is not theory. It's insider information based on observations.

He must have changed his mind on you. Maybe you're not that appealing for what he wanted with you, but your friends are.

mayo47:
Speak for yourself from your perspective of life. Instead of using the word Men same applies to those that generalise with word women too

Okay. Let me give a realistic instance. Assuming you live in Ogun state, earning like 750k a month with a lot of investments that bring more money and some millions in the bank for cushioning.
Then it's time to get married. Would you rather go for a woman that can give you money out of the box, or get a girl who is still young and very feminine that you can still start business for afterwards?

Darlingme:
@Tickles001, I'm not disputing your point of view, but the only thing I'm saying here is, women needs to be fianancially rooted in marriage as well. Not to drag power with her man, but for her own personal comfortability.

I wish that is obtainable. It would have been a bliss if this generation is blessed with a lot of young, financially capable women with a little "fear of God".

NoToPile:
Modern day men do want money from women and some even milk the woman too, lots of faworaja boys looking for ladies to milk and suck dry. Besides a sizeable no of men can even fully provide so yes they need the woman's money to support the home.


Also Chasitity clean heart and su mission can be found in well accomplished women.

2nd bolded you are right, it's the economy that is the main culprit

Let's be realistic. You know the bolded is false. You can't find that in 98% of financially accomplished woman, the 2% I left out is probably those stumbled on luck (maybe crypto) that made them overnight millionaires. But let's not debate that.

I know it's a plus for a wife to be capable of pulling some financial weight. But by the time she gets to that level her femininity has been greatly eroded.
Then you marry her because she has money that she won't even bring when you need it

Darlingme:
When she ask you for money for everything in the home, the same you go about complaining.

This is not true. It only happens when she's taking your money and sending it to family and friends like they usually do. Every man wants to provide for a woman. I haven't seen a man living within his means with his wife making such complaints about wife not bringing money.

Darlingme:
When marital responsibilities set in, you begin to desire a helper, a supporter. You begin to long for a wife, who will buy Maggie, pepper, pay children school fees, subscribe electricity, buy gas, make nice meal without bothering you.

No. If a man complain about such responsibilities, then he didn't prepare or living larger than his growth permits.
I have been paying all those bills you listed (except the children cost) and I've not died. So I think I can cope without wife's money, if I keep things within my financial capacity. In marriage, upkeep money is usually set aside and handed to the wife so she doesn't always have to ask or inform the husband for little expenses.

Darlingme:
Don't you consider all that before you marry her?

Only men who are not capable make such consideration, and it never works. What capable men consider is their own capacity and preparedness.

Darlingme:
Men need fianancially equipped woman to survive. She must be earning something.

Wrong again. In practice. A woman's money is exclusively her money, and never in direct service to the husband.

See. It's not like men don't like when a woman has money to spend, but it comes with a cost that makes the union more like a punishment to the man.

We want a girl that will grow in our sight. Take her when she's young and happy. Then find something she can do and fix her there. Not necessarily for money but to keep her active like everyone else. She could still help if she wants to.

Men don't want money from women. What we want is chastity, clean heart and submission. The three is mostly never found in older women that have achieved something.

If not for the woke culture. It's never in the place of a woman to bring money to support the family.
That's why most men go for the chastity first because she could stay in his house and start business.

Nobody with bad past ever changes. They only lose form or disqualified by age.

If you stock the house like you said, then the money should be enough if well managed. Except you live in areas where things are very expressive.

Before you increase it. Try find out why the 50k is not enough. Is it that she doesn't know how to manage or the cost of things in your area. That would help you make appropriate adjustments.

Cousin9999:
I would never travel to camp, or visit a place that can only offer natural sites. I understand people who think that's amazing and want to hike, but a vacation for me is a large, fun city near beautiful scenery. I enjoy the coast and lush wooded areas nearby, but I have no desire to hike in the middle of nowhere.

The bolded is still part of it. You don't necessarily need to hike your foot away before you could see and interact with naturally beautiful places. Normal, there's always a nearby city close to such locations where you could use as a base.
I don't mean something like jumping from a plane to land in the middle of the Amazon forest, with no touch of civilization at all.

2Lynx:
Hey ser, when I tell people dat I aint 'over by those cosmetic things, I get funny looks, like who travel the world just to spend time in the woods.

My favorite place is the yosemite, though I haven't been out yet, but I am sure going through these places,
And there is a picture I saw on a place in nigeria, that has such enchanting view too

I'm not surprised at the bolded. Most people have lost touch with nature. The one thing that comes to their minds is a place they can snap flamboyant pics and put them on social media to pepper their imaginary hatters.
For the poorer individuals, it's about where they could meet their destiny helper. Definitely not in the desolate woods Only a few will consider spending a lot of money traveling to see the beauty of nature because they are not in touch with such beauty.

Finally. Found someone that share my view on traveling.
When I think of recreational travel. I'm never interested in seeing fine houses, exotic cars, cosmetically enhanced people, and all that. For me, it's more of natural sites, new culture, new vegetation, animals, topography, weather and stuffs like that.

The person above me just said my mind. But to narrow it down. Go for OnePlus that your budget car get, maybe OnePlus 8 pro.

Alternatively, get the (Mi or Poco) class of Xiaomi.

Cardealer2021:
Thanks for the advice bro

Modified it