₦airaland Forum

Sad

You now understand why ladies look forward to marriage.

For me, this attitude is enough to divorce her. Even if na buying salt, she should willingly take one small task up.

https://tobechispeaks./2020/11/16/relate-dont-marry/

1)e Reverend Wife was sex starved. Instead of dying in silence, Bishop healed her.

2) catholic church would have covered it up.

3) marriage or celibacy does not stop s clergy from sex. Sex drive is human nature.

4) it is time Anglican Church consider polygamy. If England Anglican Church approved Homosexuality, nigeria own can approve polygamy.

5) There is love in sharing. Share your partner among your fellow clergy.

6) church should forgive as they preach. Why suspend
7) let the person who has never cheated be the first to cast a stone


https://tobechispeaks./2020/09/25/the-major-reason-jesus-never-got-married/

Danhoys:
My son is 17 years, and I got him a smartphone not too long ago during his birthday.

We're now in the tech era, and I was hoping to get him exposed to tech, and consequently stimulate his interest in programming.

However, I was going through his phone this morning and found some hardcore porn videos.

He's currently in school now, and I want to seek the advice of NLders before taking any action when he returns.

Is 17 years too young to own a smartphone? I sincerely doubt. What's the best way to handle this situation?

Thanks!

congratulations, your son is maturing

odinson1:
False Equivocal Fallacy

Can you please explain how It is used in the write up? Thanks for constructive criticism

cooooooks:
This one has chopped someone's money with a cake promise of marriage and is coming here to bleat.

Guys, never expect anything from people twithout prior honest discussion.

Exactly. It becomes a transaction. It is no longer generosity, or kindness or true love. There is nothing wrong in either but we should not confuse the two.
Prostitutes openly discuss their terms before hand.
But in relationship of this days, we make so many assumption under the disguise of love.
Relationship of today is ls domestic partnership. You fulfil my want , I fulfill yours.

The girl has gotten what she wanted. She leaves and society calls her an ingrate .

God proved his love for humanity by sacrificing for the benefit of humanity. True love is in giving a part of oneself for the benefit of that which he loves. False love seeks to own the object of love. False love uses the object of love to satisfy his own need.

Relationshipe of today is based on false love. Women use men to satisfy her desire for a child, financial security etc. Men use women to satisfy his sexual urge and render domestic service. We ban prostitution. Relationship is disguiseded prostitution. Our goal is the benefit and not the individual yet we deny it.The difference is the duration and sincerity. Prostitute has no feeling for you and you know it. In marriage, you both think you are in love when you love with the benefit the relationship brings. Take away those benefits and fight increases.

https://tobechispeaks./2020/12/16/distorted-perception-of-love/

Pierocash:
In other words what this implies is that you should help the one you love to attain her dreams by educating her?.

So it is now a crime to try to better her life,instead marry her as an illiterate and both of you should die as illiterates.

I think I agree with you at the bolded.

When one truly loves a flower, he does not pluck the flower from its stem. He does not transplant it to his own backyard. The soil condition may be different.The plant may die. Rather, he goes out of his way to water the plants and apply fertilizer. He derives joy by watching its beauty. He desires to improve its beauty. He is not threatened if others admires the flower. He has no interest of purchasing the flower.

When we genuinely love a person, we do not think of how to take advantage of the person for our own benefit. We do not intend to possess the person. Rather we think of how we can improve the other person’s life without depleting ourselves. . We give our partner freedom to be Authentic.

If you truely love her ,there is nothing wrong in assisting her. But when you demand gratitude from her in terms of sex or marriage. It is no longer done out of love.

If she decides not to get married to you
After receiving assistance from you, you have no reason to get angry. This is true love.

If you get angry that she did not marry you afterwards, then you were not really helping her. You were helping yourself. You were investing in her. It is a buisness transaction. Not all Investment blossom.

The uneducated man who sponsors a girl throughout school to marry her should examine his conscience.

A selfless lover would notice a potential in her and desire to develop such talent via educating her.

The moment he begins to guilt-trip her into marriage, he becomes a selfish lover. His generosity no longer counts as an act of kindness. He is only using her to satisfy his desire to own (marry) an educated person. He desires to improve his perceived status among his uneducated peers for marrying one of a higher status. He is no different from the rich man who gives while making a public show of it.

The lady on the other hand desires a man to help her achieve her goal to be educated. She had to pretend to be in love with him to achieve her goal. There was no love. Each person only desired to use the other. The lady only outsmarted him in the selfish web.

Some readers said he would have married her first before spending a dime on her. It changes nothing. It does not guarantee a happy union. Who says she will not catch feelings for another person? Who says she will not seek divorce later? It only transforms the problem.

We need to examine our perception of love.

soulstalker:
maybe u should give me a detailed definition. Ode

selfish love. We so often fall into the trap that the other person belongs to us. This simply can never be true. We love based on how useful the other person is to us. Husbands use their wives. Wives use their husband. The Hausa phrase I naso ki” is translated as I love you or I want you. If we love someone, we must desire to have such a person. If I see a flower, I must pluck the flower or I purchase the land. If I love a girl, I must own the girl by marriage. Bride price is a sign of ownership. This notion of love is distorted.

He has to prevent her from catching feelings for another man. Rather than giving love space and room to breathe, he clings to it, desperate to make the feeling stay. He has to continue providing all her needs, satisfying her in bed and protect her from harm, so she doesn’t think of someone else. Jesus said sexual thought is adultery. He doesn’t want this to happen. He lives in constant fear of loosing her. This, of course, is counterproductive.
Love requires trust,. To love someone is to allow them to be their Authentic self. He suffocates her with his love. She desires to be free from him.

https://tobechispeaks./2020/12/16/distorted-perception-of-love/

I want to explore

My self imposed boundary

Fufil my fantasies

Over numerous eyes

Knowing I am being watched

Makes me receptive to the act

Put on revealing dress

And nothing underneath my mini skirt

To plant the desire

In the mind of strangers

Until I met a young man at the bar

Who seems willing to ride

Took bottles to summon courage

And deal with the awkwardness

I felt his hands on me

And his kiss on my neck

I fondled his shaft

And swallowed its contents

I could twist and turn

Over his strong hands that held me firm

I felt his sweat dripping down

Unsure whose name to moan

His experience intoxicated me

He satisfied my deepest longing

He left without words of love

No phone number , No email address

I feel used and dumped

I miss my husband
https://tobechispeaks./2020/12/11/fears-of-a-virgin/

When society value women for her body

Well written

By watching ladies make their choice. We can attempt to answer the question. Out of about ten ladies I personally know of who proposed to their  partner, nine of them had partners who are Non-Alpha. While I admit that ten is too small a number to be used in any study, it is a starting point. I have  observed  a shift in the  taste of a lady. Ladies no longer crave for Alpha guys as most literature suggest.  When asked to choose a potential life partner, they tend to shy away from the powerful, dominant, muscular physique guy. Could there be any reason for this
https://tobechispeaks./2020/11/06/do-ladies-slut-shame-each-other-more/

Do you really know what love is??

Alpha male are also loosing it in other aspect of life. In Soccer, Jose Mourinho, an alpha manager is highly sought by so many clubs. His tenure in each club lasts a maximum of four years. He quarells with his players, fellow coaches, referee, football association, Physiologist, Ball Boy etc. The cost of maintenance is greater than the goal . Arsene wengar, A specialist in failure stayed over ten years in the club. Today, the beta coach works for FIFA. For immediate success, sign an alpha coach. For sustainability and long term project,sign s beta coach. .The highly successful persons are those who have mastered the art of building network. That involves cooperation and ability to compromise - an act beta male are understand quite well. Alpha leaders tend to be autocratic and conservative imposing his will on the majority. Beta politicians drift towards democrats. He is willing to let other person's view override his own . Alpha male may need to be more emotional sensitive. Beta male coul do better to improve their confidence and self confidence. Sleepy Joe defeated Alpha Trump in the last United State election. The top three richest men in the world do not qualities of a tough man. Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook is definitely not a macho Man. Bill gate is an introvert. The society is shifting towards computer and beta guys who enjoy working from home recorded huge profit during the covid 19 lock down.The law of diminishing returns is taking hold of Alpha male.

https://tobechispeaks./2020/09/23/sexual-imbalance/

It doesn't matter

NeoWanZaeed:
IF U R PLANNING TO DO RITUAL OP. . go for billions. . So ur wife or gf and family members go inherit ur property

Your children must not inherit your property. People write will donating their house to motherless home. Donate money to sponsor unknown destitute to school.

Everything is not my child, my wife, my child

dollytino4real:
yes i will gladly have kids, see Linda ikeji even with all her money stiltl wanted her own biological child

Selfishness is why we seek for biological children. What if the midwife swapped the kids and she never knew. She would still treat d child like her own. No difference from an adopted child

dollytino4real:
dis ur topic get Q-leg, if ur own parent choose money over u will u be alive today to post this? money is good but human is beta,

If they choose me and made me suffer with starvation and illeteracy, Even if I make a billion naira, I will sue them to court for bringing me to the world without my permission

Buy condom for her just in case���

Grand children

No cheating for either of you

Go and marry in fulani . They don't care about money. I st cows

Will people comply, after hoarding palliative

Conquer them now. E b like dey u like history like man u fans

After hoarding palliative. Will people comply?

Conduct an experiment. Do not pay NEPA bill for two months. Check the change in bill

Dem no go school

Dem no sabi count

Society has lost confidence in the security agencies

Not static. Based on commission.