₦airaland Forum

habeny:
Good afternoon, am a 26 years old lady and am getting married next month, but anytime I have an argument with my fiance he insults me,telling me am a fool, an idiot, etc, have tried to correct him several times but he doesn't see anything wrong with it, just this morning we had an argument and he started again calling me all sort of names. Am starting to get really scared, because if he's doing this when we are engaged what will he do to me when when we are married

TheUmbra:
Toks2008 at it again! Like me you'd never sacrifice truth for convenience.

You've spoken the truth. There're two types of people who would oppose your view as expressed in your article, one for each gender.

Most guys that would oppose your views here were either brought up by their moms or they have an abusive father. And they've come to hate the male folk and everything that seem to associate with their authority and advantage.

The other group are feminists from the female gender who may hate men for the same reason stated earlier.

But their views have no influence on reality. Once a woman was once married and steps out of her marriage in the name of divorce, there's only one thing in the mind of the average man - she's second hand.

MizMyColi:
I first experienced VR tech on a device called VSUN.
It was a scary thing for me.
Honestly, I hate virtual realities.
So when I saw that VR is also enabled on my Camon CX via google services, I didn't bother setting up.
Those that like it can do it if it's enabled on their device, but for yours truly?
It's a No No!

memories1:
Your message is good, but your title is warped. Marriage is a privilege to both men and women. While men might find it easier to remarry after a broken one, there is still this pervasive negativity attached to such men as those 'who couldn't maintain a marriage'.
Perhaps you haven't been acquainted with a man saddled with a bad marriage, experiencing their frustration would remind you that marriage is a privilege to both genders. Always look at both sides of the coin so you don't come across as a sexist.

SirHouloo:
I pity her. Has that taken anything away from the pastor? I feel she is only displaying what she has been doing in the secret.

Benita27:
Looks beautiful. He must have customized it for her. HML to them in advance.

princewilordu:
Another Evans loading.....

yvesboss:
Wow.. It is well

yvesboss:
Toks..honestly your story is so emotional..sorry to ask, you were 'technically married' for how many years
?

solid3:
Pls share your experience if you don't mind.

LifeIsGuhd:
Lol! Okay!

LifeIsGuhd:
It could be me, it could be you, it could be someone by your side *singing* LOL

Well, I understand now though!

Two more things: any kids?
2. Was the court wedding done for papers? I.e green card/ permanent resident things

LifeIsGuhd:
Okay, but I wasn't referring to being technically married but being divorced.

Uhm, that's a tough question... personally I would say I am married but my family might insist I am not.

So was that what you did?

LifeIsGuhd:
Okay...
My point is that some hardworking lady who brings something to the table wouldnt still wanna touch their income/salary... they still want you to provide everything.
So basically, you would just have to pray for a lady that is patient, faithful and can persevere.

one more question: is this the first time you are coming out as a divorcee on nairaland?

LifeIsGuhd:
werent you spoiling your Ex-wife well enough?
who initiated the divorce?

whats "temi yemi"

Daboomb:
Do you think her "financial dependence" was what caused the marital breakdown?
Do you think being financially independent would prevent all those things that led to the "bad feelings" in the past?

Reflect for a minute and think about the starting years when things were rosy and lovely. How come financial dependence did not affect feelings back then?

Financial dependence may become an issue when Divorce is being considered and the man has to fork out money to maintain the ex-spouse without income

I say that it was when other problems crashed the "good feelings", that the financial dependence became obvious and caused further problems.
It was not the initial cause of the problem.
When LOVE vanishes from a marriage, every other thing becomes a PROBLEM
But When there is LOVE in a marriage, every other PROBLEM sort of Vanishes or become inconsequential

happy you have both moved on.

mindworx:
A financially independent lady can still have affinity for money.

mineANDurs:
I hv understood why you hate women so much.

I suggest you get married to a working class Lady, if your EGO will let you.

LifeIsGuhd:
Totally true @bolded
However financially independent ladies come with their own wahala.

It is well...

LifeIsGuhd:
Ooh, I am sorry about that

tosyne2much:
Wonderful!

I can see you share the same personality with me. The truth is that I have high moral principles and I don't bring myself down before people. In fact, no matter how much I may need money, I can never crawl at Dangote's feet at the expense of money, let alone soil my self esteem because of these ladies that form here

LifeIsGuhd:
Do you consider it a good or bad attribute?
how are you coping?

tosyne2much:
Hehehe.. It's funny you created a thread for people above 30 and I was astonished to see people giving testimonies of how they found their life partner on that very thread while you, being the OP no see any wife carry for the thread till today

solid3:

What is the one thing you regret having not asked your spouse before marriage?

We have all heard and seen how marriages which is meant to be enjoyed being endured by many women and men too.

Sometimes the marriages end within few months.

Most of these marriages could have been salvaged and prevented from ending abruptly if necessary questions were asked before the wedding.

This brings me to asked the married people (and matured peopel as well), what is that question or discussion you wish you have asked or had before you married your spouse?

Matured comments please.

tosyne2much:
You can still find many of them here on Nairaland nah

Odogwuskido:
The battle line is drawn!