₦airaland Forum

TheUmbra:
Addressing a married individual properly may not offer complete proof for marriage but it's a good start and a gesture that honours the marriage institution.

I think your moral elasticity has finally gave to the continuous barrage of a world fastly on decay. How convenient for you to put material gains over sound moral principles.

It speaks well of your priorities - material acquisition first even at the expense of the sanctity of matrimony.

itzzhoneybee:
I agree with every other point
ladies u don't have to take it personally its a write up on females its just an advice so u either take it or leave it nobody is imposing anything on anybody and its not by force to read it either.

Jahmblinqz:
Did you read d title at all??

iAmGee770:
You deserve a create of Goldberg for write up. I clap for you join

KemjikaEme:
That you created a thread that made the front thread doesn't mean your opinion is right and shared by all and sundry.
Give people the space to submit their views and reviews without choking them with unnecessary mentions and replies(mostly myopic),it defects the purpose of the thread at the end of the day.
It's great that you acknowledge that it's largely 'misorgynist' and tilted to project women to be responsible for a dysfunctional union,not everyone subscribe to same opinion.
Past friends and colleagues referring to a woman with a maiden name is what's obtainable in reality because that's what they are familar with,it doesn't infer with the woman's marital status.
A father's name has never stopped a woman from achieving relative success in her marriage.

KemjikaEme:
Anybody from her past can use her maiden name. It doesn't change her status or destroy her marriage.

KemjikaEme:
O[s]ne of those misorgynist threads that heap the cause of dysfunctional marriages on women without realizing that marriage is a 100/100 balance from both a man and his wife.[/s]
The Western convention of Madien name doesn't follow the African naming system.
Just because a woman is married doesn't mean her maiden name is useless or must be cut off.
A woman remains the daughter of her father even in marriage therefore most people that were in life before she married will still refer to her with her maiden name.
There are instances where you meet an old female friend from secondary school and you call her by her maiden name without the addition of her husband's surname.

unbeatablerosak:
✔️ Yes. All you said made sense. It is the bitter truth. We ladies should learn to avoid had l known that comes at last. Thanks man.

Hipsofagoddess:
pls next time you create a topic just put by toks in bracket so i wont bother opening it.

Tioluwa:
What are some of the issues you discussed when you were in courtship or now you are in courtship or when you think you will be in courtship?

hardeycute:
It is an abuse on the word intelligent to use it on a sentence with both personality.

chuksanambra:
This meddlesome block.head is obviously a Nursery school dropout.

Joy1706:
With all this 'wisdom', you couldn't keep your marriage. Maka why? And you expect us to take advice from a divorced/single male? Abegiiiiiiiiii

chuksanambra:
[s]
Coming from a relationship dropout and emotional outcast like you, I don't expect any better. It's common knowledge here on NL that you're a relationship Agbero who has no wife of his own but offers unsolicited advice to people mentally stable enough to get married.

As to deleting NL accounts, I opened my first account more than a decade ago when you were still in one backwater hood wasting your destiny with one babe smart enough to dump your ill-fated azz. If you're tired of seeing my posts on NL, you can go jump in front of a Dangote trailer[/s].

emorse:
This is not to deride you or anything but the bolded makes no sense at all from where I stand. Ambode's friend will call him by his first name (probably Akin). Or even by a very funny nickname. All that formality about first names waters down friendship.

Just before you ask, I was with a group of friends (all married) from way back secondary school and we all called one another by the funniest nicknames we could remember. It was mad fun all through.

Dlordsamurai:
But why will Tonto agree to marry him when he is still legally married?
well he must have lied to her or promised tonto to finally dissolve his formal marriage after their wedding..
well one thing i know is that Tonto made him famous, nobody knew him until he met Tonto dikeh..
All the bitchess he has can not measure to the standard of tonto dikeh..

Lalas247:
Better in family section

MediumStout:
If i can't smoke inna the bar where else should we smoke? Inside bus or for church? Misplaced priorities


Most idiots condemning smokers on this thread won't hesitate to apply if BAT advertises vacancies. They condemn smoking but wish to earn decent salaries from working in a tobacco manufacturing company. Hypocrites

austine4real:
What about men?

Medunah:
A political position is different from marital status!!!!!!!!!

Omotayor123:
You should change your Topic to "Ten Awkward Things That Married Couple Do"

Don't stereotype by putting the Blame on Women Alone. Men needs to abide by those things too.
Your points are Very Okay but they should be both ways.

It's the duty & Responsibility of both partner to make the marriage work.

Medunah:
I don't agree with the maiden name thing, at all!

So when a girl gets married, her old male friends can't refer to her by her maiden name again?? Doesn't make sense!

I would find it very awkward if my male friends start referring to me as sis, madam or whatever just because I got married....

Is it only ladies that cause the problems that destroy the marriage? Cos ur list doesn't refer to the guys too, Not only ladies do all those stuffs, men do them too.​

ephi321:
Classic.
That dude in particular, I jump pass whenever I see his threads. In 2017, we still have these kinds of mindsets around. Na real wa.

LordAdam16:
And you're still being adamant.

So, you absolutely believe there are women on this planet for whom abuse is not an issue?

The things I read on NL.

Anyway, you can stay with your conviction. After all, there are men (many in fact) who believe women are property. It wasn't so long ago that men had canes for their wives in England.

The person who invents the time machine would do this world a huge favor. We'll just have to ask peeps like you to take the next time ticket to 1400, where you'd have women who society had conditioned to take a daily prescription of physical/verbal abuse in good faith. How you'd feel at home.

-Lord

LordAdam16:
Let me see, you give advice on marriage and you think abuse is something to be "tolerated?"

Is that a sick joke or something?

Sure, everyone has a bad side. But the real issue is the definition of a bad side. Bad cooking is an issue, not having an ambition is an issue, being dirty is an issue. Verbal/Physical abuse is not an issue, it is a major problem. A problem no one has to tolerate. It is in the same league with alcohol and betting addictions, in that the person has to realize he has a major problem that needs immediate fixing, whether that is rehab, anger management classes, intense counselling, or all of the above.

A lady (if she chooses to remain) in such a relationship can then provide needed support to get through that specific low in the man's life. This is far from tolerating, which assumes that it is something that one can live with. The OP's fiance doesn't even think he's doing anything wrong.

No one deserves to tolerate abuse.

And there is nothing more sickening than hearing the classic "check yourself" directive. It is so wrong, I can't even begin to rationalize why people feel it is a point worth sharing. You don't ask a seller of alcohol to check him/herself as to why his/her customer is an addict. Even if a woman is nagging and rude, is the appropriate response from a mature person abuse?

Why can't the man take the high road and take concrete steps to deal with that problem, rather than muddling it up by entering beast mode.

Two wrongs don't make a right. The moment a man feels he has to be abusive to effect a change in behavior or pass a point across, then there needs to be a serious evaluation by both parties on the way forward. That's a figurative crossroad, not a bump.

People who equate bad cooking to abuse are people who never grew up in abusive homes, never been with abusive partners, never listened to someone pouring their heart out after receiving abuse for an extended period of time, never had a close relation (daughter or sister) show a bruised face, or have a tendency to be abusive themselves.

It is very easy to ask people to tolerate something you've never experienced or had first-hand interaction with.

-Lord

Sterope:
So how come you are a divorcee? And why haven't you remarried?

Eluwilussit:
Except that i did. I proposed to my wife within one hour of sitting down with her. It was love at first sight. In 8 months, it will be 10 yrs. 3 children. Still in love. Sex was the next day.

U know what, i have waited for months and yrs for some babes to become available, only to lose interest as soon as we do.

She might be genuinely in love as well. Dont forget, women use sex to get love.

Biafrareform:
Let me start by giving you a background story to what you are about to read.

In 2015, the girl I love left me in a disvastating manner. I was so heartbroken. I decided to be careful so as not to have such experience again. I changed completely.
From 2015 to March this year, I comfortably and effortlesly walked in and out of 5 relationship. Leaving the ladies heartbroken,

It was in March that I realized that am finding it difficult to love a woman. So I consciously try to change it and settle with my future bae.

Last week, I met a dreamed girl. She is hot and well endowed from the back. She is the perfect girl I want. Within 3 days, I discovered she has fallen in love with me. I reciprocated by showing her care. Then I discovered she is the jealous type.
She told me she left an abusive relationship with a rich guy and have made up her mind not to go into any till I showed up.
I invited her over to my place today, the moment we walked into my apartment, she was all over me. She followed me to the kitchen while I prepared food for her and started kissing me.
While we were together, her ex called and she told him that she has found rest of mind with someone else.
Done eating, we set to talk and we started kissing. Then she asked me to make love to her. I declined and explained to her that is too early for it and don't want to rush into it. She was angry and mad at me, accusing me of sleeping around with my school friends, she couldn't believed I said No.
She started crying and made me to understand that I just have to make her cum. That's she is feeling that way cos she is totally in love with me. That I shouldnt make her remember her past.
I decided to play with her all through till she was satisfied.

Am left confused. I really love this girl and I don't want to have sex with her now. She may end up like others. My love for her hasnt matured yet. I need grow more in love with her.

TheUmbra:
You can still tweak the title a bit. Let it hit front page and meet the bigger audience. I understand lalasticlala's concern but as long as the message remains intact, you can sacrifice the title.

Sterope:
You no say insult na part of abuse.

When parents insult you at this age, you get really mad at them not to mention a partner. It is far much worse.

I am sure you would love it when she actually starts to feel stupid because that is what she is always called. There is reason why you are not allowed to insult others on this forum, other forums, at works and get-together


Why don't you leave your advice for your daughter or yourself?

FortuneTeller:
It's going to get worse after marriage. Don't be surprised if he hits you. Verbal abuse usually escalates to physical abuse.