₦airaland Forum

Sandydayziz:
U don't mean it!!

Biko don't mind dem o...sugar coated guys..

JeffreyJamez:
Even at that, have you interviewed all the married people in Nigeria?.. ..heck, have you interviewed all the married people on your street!... Abi your stats is based on what you see in the movies?

Whatever rocks your boat.

opribo:
OP you are partially correct, in the sense that your points are applicable only to nowadays endtime marriages where selfish and vested interest is the overriding deciding factor. In the days of our fathers when true love reigned there was nothing like what can you bring on the table rather it was unconditional love.

In fact a popular ibo saying summarizes it all it says thus: 'I na eme oyi, meete onye di mma enyi, maka olulu' translated it means when yiu are making friends make good ones because of marriage.

You will not see an ugly, broke ass girl or boy and marry such and suffer, nobody uses poverty to pose, you will not see a person from a poverty stricken home with a football team number of sibblings all struggling to enter secondary school and put your head there thereby mortgaging your own happiness. When you are not the one that caused the problem you will now allow another person baggage of trouble affect you. Neither will you see a person suffering from a disease or has a health condition that may affect your happiness and children and put your head.
The truth is that people are now very very aware they look very well before taking any life long decision. For example nowadays a black guy peers up with a fair lady and produce 'ajebutter' colored children unlike before black charcoal versus black charcoal I dont know what to call the product of such union or a struggling guy need to use his exposure to leap frog into a waelthy mans home and marry the daugther like that rubbin mnd guy did to chase poverty far away. Ok, assuming the person that married bubu daughter was a hustling man, do you expect bubu no matter how wicked he is to allow such a man to be disgracing him, no way he will command NNPC to employ him anyhow it is.
Look poverty is a terrible disease and it is highly contagious therefore anything that has the coloration of semblance must be resisted even in marriage.
If they have nothing to offer leave them alone 'jeje' with their problems dont allow them to use their family problems to affect yours.

Very hilarious comment but also very insightful.

sapiosexual1:
Your heart needs some healing, you could use a soul massage .
The lady/ladies who did this to you must have really hit it hard and deep at the deepest part of the bottom of your heart.
From your tone, you must have been a good boy gone bad, karma is a relentless biatch, take heart broh, I hope you find the solace you're looking for by running around n.ak.ed around the internet, looking for a business partner like minded ladies.

Do you know that it is a sign of intellectual stundedness when you juxtapose a write up with the persona or personal life of the writer?

In my life no woman has ever broken heart but whenever I write stuffs I do from a pragmatic angle and not about what is ideal....I write outside the box and what I write has no correlation with who I am or what goes on in my life.

I have seen sweet ladies..calm honest and a wife material in all respect but because I'm very visual I just look away if such lady does not appeal to me sexually.

So if I marry a lady that is sexually pleasing to my eyes will that be called selfish?

If a lady says she does not want to marry a broke guy and she decides to marry a rich man even if she becomes a second wife please how does that sound selfish? it's individual choices that matter.

JeffreyJamez:
99%? ......the way una dey churn out statistics ehn, person go dey wonder if una don enter everywhere for this world. Bros say what you know with out churning out rubbish statistics.....

It is expedient to note that this is nairaland and not euro or dollar land so whatever I write applies to Nigeria.

greenermodels:
the selfish reasons os why modern marriages are failing because you're supposed to love whom you're compatible with, love flows because you share the same ideals not because she's beautiful or rich. i almost married an older working class lady but as time was passing, i realised when co~habiting with her that we're not compatible but are only getting married for selfish reasons, she's desperate to marry due to her old age and I'm willing to marry her because she's gainfully employed unlike many present day ladies that don't seem to have a direction in their lives, apart from that, we're both unhappy with each other since we have different ideas about life. so i walked away from the relationship, i don't want to spend the rest of my life with a wealthy woman i really hate her character.

I honestly love your sincerity.

Now do you know that those selfish reasons you mentioned are actually mutually beneficial for both of you?

Do you know that in addition to those conditions if her character was cool by you there won't be any need to leave her and both of you will be happy together despite the selfish reasons?

this is the summary of my write up....

Miladi:
You amuse me. Any sane and sound person knows that there's nothing "selfish" in one being conscientious. Words has failed you many a time.

There's no gain in being myopic OK, so stop being conceited - conceit is God's gift to little people.

You are suffering from puma syndrome...learn to read and assimilate before making comments cos what you wrote is exactly my point.

Prince16:
Lolz.
Well d earlier EVERYONE
realises dt NO ONE marries 4 #selfless reasons, d better 4 all!

There is(are ) alway(s) a reason(s)4 marriage: either 4 procreation, #free sex, loneliness, "gold", beauty ,security etc.
Why does d average guy not get married to any lady he meets? Why must it be 'her'? And 2 d lady, why, out of d numerous suitors ,did u agree 2 marry dt particular guy?

Even The Lord Jesus Christ got wedded to d church for 'eternal life' sake.

(Romans 7:4 KJV) Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ; that ye should be married to another, even to him who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God.

(2 Corinthians 11:2 KJV) For I am jealous over you with godly jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ.

conclusion: There is Always a reason behind every action we take. No action is random. The Lord gave his life on d cross not for show-bolting sake. He had a reason! [John 3:16]
Thanks

Exactly my point.

FortuneTeller:
So it's now I am writing about myself? It's now my marriage is a scam? Do you see how the scammer turns things around. He comes as an armed robber yelling "Teef Teef" against the innocent. Ka chi fo!

So you now see how it feels...you made accusations and I practically begged you to spill it but you refused.

I wrote an innocuous comment but you turned it round without butressing your points

I repeat...no marriage is a scam regardless of the reason. ..there is always a selfish reason behind every marriage but if the conditions remain favorable both parties stay together till death.

I had advised you never to judge or make conclusions except you know every detail but you refused.

I know a lady who has a medical issue that couldn't be treated in Nigeria but this health challenge does not incapacitate her so she decides to marry a Canadian man so that she can work and pay for the treatment which cost usd30k.

Shall we say she is a scammer?

SmartyPants:
Marriage should always be about something much more genuine than the ephemeral. And that is why it is always more natural to gravitate towards people within your social class.There are so so so so so many cases where people of comparable economic status have gotten married simply because of each other, and the marriage works.

Btw what is your goal in airing this opinion of yours? Its not everything that passes through your mind that must pass out of your mouth.

As i wrote, this thread was not written for frontpage and i did not intend getting it out here but for whatever reason it is here i guess some will find sense in it and some will see it as vague.

Nevertheless i believe it is insightful enough...BTw DID YOU REALLY READ THROUGH OR YOU JUST READ FEW WORDS?

Miladi:
@OP

Words failed you! Marriage can only be scam to those who married for superficial reasons. However, those who married based on good attributes never have reason to assume their marriage as scam.

Marrying for true attributes in itself is a scam...why not marry a prostitute or a criminal?

And if you read my conclusion,i reiterated that no marriage is really a scam because there must always be a selfish reason behind any marriage.

sapiosexual1:
Carefully gone thru this thread and I must say this : if I had an enemy in the UK, I wouldnt advice her to touch you even with a barge pole.
The lady who dumped your sorry ass (fortune teller's friend) did the right thing.
To think that you consider it as the best option , marrying a white to advance your personal interest makes me quesy, and makes you no different from the yahoo boys.
Ladies need to stay far away from you, like seriously.

If i were you i will just humbly accept the truth and calm down rather than rant senselessly.

You probably are still one of those who believe in pure love and that makes me wonder where you are from.

Whatever i write may not be acceptable to everyone but they are facts of life that i have gathered in over 4 decades of my existence.
99.9999% of the marriages you see are hinged on selfish reasons and take away that reason and there will be no union...some people tend to get fed up when the reason for the marriage is not forthcoming while some stay put in bitterness.

Just pray and hope that the condition remains favorable so that you will not come back to this thread and agree with me.

As for the U.K part then i must say you need to calm your nerves and read very well before you make baseless comments.

Neyoor:
I think this thread is orchestrated towards changing the plight and misconceptions someone or some set of people are having towards the OP. Ofcourse, he is smart and he knows his onion as far as writing to convince and garner unnecessarily sympathy.

I blame the moderator that pulled this thread to front page without observing what is happening on the thread.

What I can rightly observed is that, there is more to this thread and majority of the people commenting here are oblivious of what is at stake.


I wouldn't mind if FortuneTeller can tell me more, as I assumed Toks is trying with his sugar-coated mouth.

My broda i just tire o....i have practically begged this fortuneTeller to tell even me more but she will not bulge...

If you go to the genesis of the whole thing you will realize that i never created this thread for front page but to pass a message to that busy body fortuneTeller that even her own marriage in teh states is a big scam and i can prove to her.


Is it not crazy that the moment a Nigerian be a lady or guy decides to marry a foreigner the next thing the start saying is that it is for green card...how is that different from a lady who wants a rich guy or a lady who wants a cute guy...is one reason more important than another?

FortuneTeller:
It began in the thread about a man scamming an American lady. Toks defended the man's fraudulent behavior. I told him he was supporting the man because he engaged in the same activity. About 3 years ago, Toks was using his sweetmouth to catch an American lady my husband and I know well. He revealed to her that his wife left and never returned. He also admitted to doing the same with a Canadian lady in the other thread. He asked me to send the lady's name and information. I spoke with my husband and he said to drop the matter, so I am going to be quiet on this.

You are a troll lady so just negodu.

I went through your hypocritical thread pretending you are not the one involved but psychologically it is so clear you wrote about yourself.

Get this straight for the last time. almost all if not all marriages are scam and even your marriage is a big big scam.

How does it become a scam if a lady feels she cant marry a poor guy?

ITS HER FREAKING CHOICE and same way you come up attacking me because i defended a guy who married a lady and latter brke up after getting a green card...does that nullify thousands of Nigerians who are married happily to foreign ladies even years after getting their green card?

Cant you see how confused you are?

ThinkSmarter:
Yeah really I am from East, currently serving in the North, I can tell u unequivocally that the man Kwankwassiyya as he z fondly called by his associates z too much, his works speaks volumes, he really transformed KANO. He commends influence and Respect more than the incumbent gov of KANO, Ganduje.
And that ur Permutation of Kwankwaso/Obi z a very nice one.
He will surely deliver.
Just pray that the duo may reach on a consensus to decamp to a viable party and contest should Buhari hijack APC.

Buhari can't win in 2019 so it's time the youths clamor for a good duo so

#Kwankwasso/obi2019

We can use the power of the online media to make it happen.

ThinkSmarter:
He might be right though,
But literally, he z just trying to Impress d people to vote for him come 2019, so he can accomplish one of his dreams of adding president to his portfolio. Unfortunately greater percentage of Nigerians don't consider him to be the better devil.
All these cabals should pave way for young minds like the likes of Ambode, Peter Obi, Kwankwasso.
They can do great in presidency should they be given chances.

Kwankwasso/Obi ticket it is


We can start the campaign

I don't know much about that Kwankwasso man but from feeders it seems he is efficient and I'm already a fan of Peter but because of the strong not her thing I would have prefer Peter as the president so let's start the campaign.

kimacent:
Breast milk is good 4 men. Those in support say HI Those against say NIL The "HI" have it.

Se o gbadun?

Twaci:
Awwwwwwwww! These pictures are cute!
Pabloomoescobar lets get married

I would be more willing to see their 10years anniversary pics.
No hating but this prewedding things is overhyped.

metronaija:
The newly crowned Miss Nigeria made her first red carpet appearance at The Headies2016

http://www.metronaija.com/2016/12/photo-newly-crowned-miss-nigeria-at.html

I knew she will go places...
and I actually told her she could be the next mbgn or miss Nigeria and she is the latter today.
very intelligent,decent,respectful and focused beautiful young lady.

Congrats to you baby oku as I fondly called her.

FortuneTeller:
@ghettodreamz and mynd_44: so you would have no concern with marrying someone in a wheelchair??

@wislet i appreciate your thoughts and i think i will ask her to look at your response

i understand that she is concerned because i don't know if I could go into such a relationship, but i know that the man is a good person and would treat her well.

The man is a good person cos he has money shey... but if he is broke then his good character is non and void...*Yinmu!*

FortuneTeller:
but she wouldn't date a man who has functional legs if he couldn't provide for her.

Scam romance everywhere...so the ability of a man to provide for a lady now supercedes pure affection.

And some people will tag a move by a hardworking guy who believes in his ability to make money to marry a lady citizen of a country that rewards hardworkers and not crooks.

Hypocrisy everywhere.

FortuneTeller:
My friend has met a handsome man with a great job, home, car, no children, and according to her he has a large koboko stick. however he was in an accident many years ago that injured his legs. he is unable to walk, but he is completely independent. he is now telling her that he wants to marry and have children. she says she cares for him and is pleased that he treats her like a queen, but she is unsure if she would be happy being married to him because of his handicap. i have been silent on this because i do not want to sway her decision in any direction. does anyone here have any experience with this type of relationship? if so, please give your input on this matter.

OK let me get this clear..ordinarily she won't be asking this question if the guy in addition to his condition...

1.Does not have money
2.Does not have a large koboko ....

But despite his physical condition she is now considering him because of the aforementioned reasons...

Well my advice is that she should follow her heart and marry him if her heart wants him regardless of whether it is for his wealth and koboko...but some people will consider the marriage a scam because she would have never considered marrying him if the guy is a broke guy on a wheel chair

My submission.

ItsQuinn:
It's the same, it's simple English....fear means being afraid of something.

Issorite.

ean:
Dont get why some people are against this thread... Im currently and undergrad studying petroleum eng me nd my couremate usuall dont have time to chase the fine girls in campus the my friends that are in relationships are with girls that showed decent interest in them mind you there are ways to show interest in a guy without seeming desperate or cheap.. And that how we are probably still gonna be when will hopefully get good paying jobs nd ready to get married.. No one approaches the sexiest babe that forms anyhow except ur a musician nd full of urself we just admire for far nd marry the nice girl that shows interest

Insightful

dam007:
you coulda replied! #Dumb@ss! Run along now!

I can bet my testicles on the fact that you are jobless and frustrated..unfact I still see you beg friends and parents for money.

Youths like you remain dormant for life.

Don Jazzy once fried akara Dbang was a security guard in U.K,Patoranking once sold rat poison and a present President elect of An African nation was a security guard and Jagaban was a cab man in thw states but you know what differentiates these people from you,they are dogged,focused, humble and tenacious.

This guy selling rice today to get by refused to be a beggar like you or one of the glorified yahoo boys...he chose to find dignity in his sweat.

Please if you quote me again
..so just back off with your lazy proud as and let legitimate people comment.

dam007:
you're a *fvckn retard!* here, I really don't need to tell you he's not making 5 k a day, and 2, if it was that lucrative akara sellers must have cars! and to think you'll spend less than 100k in four years in the university is just being ignorant! tell me Mr. know all, how much do you earn in a month, do you not even think he's just stumping on whatever hopes his sponsors had? you're doubtlessly one of the the ¡diotic youths ignorantly endorsing mediocrity in the name of #ThecountryIsBad! I addressed about 3 issues in that reply and all you can do is attack me for thinking selling akara as a graduate is stooping too low?? do you even know what it means to be a graduate really? I hope Nigeria gets better, and your son someday finds reason in what you are clearly advocating in your message! #Ode Oshi!

I'm awfully sorry for ever responding to you.

I know your type..empty vessel.

dam007:
please... not to make fun of his hustle, but come to think of it, school teaches you a lot of things. not only to eat with your certificate, but really to live! There's dignity in labour indeed but is this really it? after years in the university?? first off, talk about your grade in the university... if it's really good, I know you won't just dump what you laboured for and sell akara on the the street which is by the way is another excessive labour. Now, it's not so good, you're not employable, what then is the distinction between you and the folks who didn't go to primary school let alone University. Not making fun of him though, I'm just saying, there are many things you can do as a graduate that isn't as demeaning sir, you manage to finish from the university with no financial support and all you are left with is your certificate. NYSC comes and for a year you earn 19800 each month, save 10k of that or even 5k of that every month of the service year and you have yourself a fair capital to own a poultry. and you have yourself something far far better than selling *akara*! that's what I call it! and that guys, is one of many many possible outcomes!

Someetimes i smh! when im read lame and vague comments such as this.

If i may ask'

Are you a graduate?
Are you employed?
How much do you earn monthly?

The fact many dumb graduates fail to realize is that we have interim business that a graduate can do just to keep body and soul together while he tactfully plan for something better.

This is why many graduates in Nigeria are redundant and backward..they want to have that Job at all cost and they pause their life just because they are job hunting.

What if he makes 5k profit daily? is that not 100k a month nexcluding weekends? I just saw on Frontpage a thread asking if 30k a month is ok for a fresh graduate...i guess you wouldnt mind that.

GOD HAVE MERCY ON OUR GRADUATES.

Kondomatic:
And this is the only thing he could think of doing after years in school? I am disappointed

I dont really have anything to write to you but i marvel at the fact that you got some likes and shares for this pooh.

firstking01:
You and fortuneteller share a lot in common, why don't you just desist from the obvious pretense and do the needful...you gat my back

My guy I tire o...till this moment I'm still cracking my head to decipher that friend of hers and I'm beginning to think she made it up.

I still wonder how a lady will preempt a scam marriage just because the man in question is a Nigerian and she is an almighty American abeg does that not sound dumb?
people are talking about getting scammed of millions of dollars and this one dey worry herself about scam marriage all because the lady is an American ....

How is America dollar greater than the euro used by many chengen countries? are there no hot chics from European nations?

This is why many countries detest united states because their citizens see other nationals as second class citizens.

I'm single and ready to mingle and even settle down so if I like I go for a village girl,city gal Brazilian togolese french or Cambodian lady my headache my choice.

Please help me tell fortuneTeller to leave me alone o...if she likes me let her open up and stop dancing around and if she has a sister or friend who wants a sincere guy she should consider such lucky if she has someone like me.

I'm too old for scam marriage..at my age the most important thing is to widen my horizon and settle down in a purposeful marriage...why will I be foolish to start paying child support with the money I ought to be investing in Naija.

Madam fortune biko count me out of your presumptive scam thing...I'm too focused and clean for that shit.

This is why it is important for every lady to be financially independent.

Sowing the car is not the big deal if the car was bought by her but it becomes a big issue because the hubby bought it for her.

FortuneTeller:
Are you now denying your wife? If so, that means you lied to the lady, which would imply you were trying to scam her.

How I wish I even know this imaginary lady you are talking about.

You need to cut the chase and be more reasonable...In Africa no man can lay claim on any lady unless a bride price is paid on her and that I have not done on any woman ever. Whatever any one told you asides this is a misconception and i guess she must have told you I also said my imaginary wife ran away...yeye dey smell.

Now have i not proved to you over and over again that im 100% legit? if i actually told your imaginary friend I was married does that not show how plain I am? which is more convinient to tell a lady you are wooing? I rest my case.

For the last time..stop this childish thing and stop using that SCAM word...it's sickening ..

FortuneTeller:
You wan compare lady from Ghana vs lady from US? Which one will you choose? Why did you talk with a lady from Canada and my associate from the US if the Ghana woman was free? I think you are a great writer, but when it comes to matters of the heart, you have been deceptive. You defended the scammer in the other thread and I only wanted to point our your hypocrisy. Your runaway wife is not my concern. I only brought her forth to show you my knowledge of who you are. I will let this matter rest. Biko you are free!

Yawns!

First get this for the last time...it is a man's choice if he decides to marry a Gambian or an American which is the same way a lady chooses between a struggling guy and a made guy and this should never be considered as a scam.

Secondly please be mature and stop this silly talks of runaway wife cos it's kinda childish...did I tell you I was married? I only played along with your unfounded allegations.

And for the records..get this straight..a guy can talk to 100ladies from the same compound as long as he is single and searching and has not found one that says YES to his approach.