₦airaland Forum

iammiracle1:
Stop been inspired because other women could endure and your wife couldn't, everyone has a limit to the level of disrespect they can take the fact that you don't beat her or that she doesn't lack isn't good enough, why not make conscious effort to actually do better? Emotional/Verbal abuse is sometimes worse than physical ones, try to make amends if you can with you wife the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

Thanks i appreciate

Breaststroke:
Hhmm Tunagee, I read your comment and sexyyoyo's own, I think what both of you don't understand is the importance of words. Words are extremely important they can make or break us, heal or wound us, destroy us or bring us life, health and happiness.

Let me give you an example of how words can have an effect on people. My current boss is rude, condescending and very disrespectful in her speech towards people. This attitude has caused us 2 competent staff, who resigned because they got sick and tired of that sort of treatment. We are currently short staffed and suffering, one of those people came highly recommended to our organization and she's very good at what she does too so it was truly a loss/blow to lose her.

An entire dept of a sister company we are supposed to work closely with, deliberately refused to work with us because of how our boss spoke to their boss during a meeting. That dept actually told us 'You guys think you can insult our boss and still expect us to collaborate with you and assist you with intel you need? " It was only our boss who spoke words that didn't sit well with them, but a whole dept of more than 10 people ganged up against us to make our working lives difficult.

Some of us weren't even aware of the meeting which caused this issue, until members of that dept informed us of their collective decision to deal with us. Are you seeing the damage words can do? Stay with me I'm not done yet. Recently after a round of job interviews, my boss's choice candidate for a certain role within the organization, declined the offer made to him. He informed us afterwards that he made inquiries about our boss and received negative feedback from 3 different people about the boss, which informed his decision to not take the job. Negative (but true) words spoken about my boss caused us another competent worker.

Our organization pays really well but I can tell you that my colleagues and I are unhappy because of how our boss talks to us and how we see her treat others via her speech. We are constantly doing damage control with vendors, clients and other business associates because of her, her speech and attitude.

Most of us are trying to leave and we are actively helping each other to do so sef. Now please pause for a moment and think about this, if employees of an organization are unhappy and want to leave a good paying job, because of how the CEO regularly talks down to them, how do you think a spouse would feel? Mind you we only relate/interact with her 5 days of the week but a spouse is bound to you for a lifetime.

Everything I wrote up there is not fiction, it's the reality of our lives at organization XYZ and we are grown men & women (some with families of their own) Don't underestimate the importance or power of words. What do you think scripture means when it says "The power of life & death is in the tongue"

My boss has verbally and effectively killed morale, initiative, confidence and composure with her words. We now work like robots doing whatever she wants or says, even when we know the outcome won't be successful, but hey no one wants to be at the receiving end of her harsh & disrespectful words so...........There are some things worse than a beating and words are one of such things. The heavens and the earth were made by the words of God's mouth...... words not magic, can you see how important words are?

I think your wife and my colleagues left because they got tired and realized this is unhealthy, I don't have to put up with this anymore. The expectation that, the party suffering verbal abuse should stay and work on their relationship is unfair & biased. The person with an attitude problem via speech, should work on themselves and make adjustments. You can't continuously hurt people with your words and expect things to be rosy.

Please note, the paragraph above is not judgment. I am not judging you, it is just an honest reflection of my thoughts about the situation with your wife and my own boss.

Thanks so much! I ve learnt my lesson the hard way.

yeyeosoronga:
I hope you've got control over your mouth now. Words are powerful. Some kind of verbal abuse can make you feel so worthless and suicidal. Perhaps that's why she left. You can still fight for your marriage, if you're still interested. Court her again, and stop with the hurtful words by controlling your mouth. It's a conscious effort which you can do, unless you're prideful.

Thanks. I appreciate. Don't mind my emotional immaturity

sexyyoyo:
Madam you really need to calm down , I have been married for twelve years now so don't think I have no experience.
You have to submit yourself totally, both of you can't be a goat , one has to be a sheep while the other is a goat . if your man call you names and asked you to leave his house and you also left, then something is wrong with you . do you really think its a good thing packing your stuffs and leaving your matrimonial home ?
So long he is not beating you , why must you pack out ?
All the names he call you, is it a true reflection of your character ?if not , why are you bothered ?
One of you have to sacrifice for the marriage to work .
As you both grow , you tend to understand each other the other .
The worst mistake of your life is to start giving attentions or thinking there are better men out there .
Don't fool yourself or make yourself a subject of ridicule .
Sit down and stop packing out . stay put in your marriage and make it work .
Your only complain is the names he do call you .
Do you go hungry in his house ?
Are you lacking any other thing ?
No marriage is perfect but please make yours work .
I beg you in the name of whatever you believe in and it shall end in praise .

I had to copy this comment so I can read over and over again. My wife also left for about a year now, she complained of verbal utterances. I kept wondering same thing you made in your comments why not work on your marriage than leave. And I never beat her; she never lacked.
God bless you abundantly. I'm inspired.

ikennaiteogu:
Time to divorce, he will never change. Just be strong and move on, learn from this experience to see the warning signs in behavior for your next marriage.

Stupid advice from an unbeliever.

shamecurls:
Leave 5he marriage


It can never work


You are of no value to him.


Bitter truth

And you think you have advised her right abi? God is watching u

Dpaulie:
Dear OP, don't take advice from feminists because they will mislead u, by the grace of God, I'm married and my marriage is 5+ now, in the first and second year my wife experienced this a lot from me, any slight argument, I'll tell her to leave, as a matter of fact the day our marriage was a month exactly, we had this argument and I told her to pack her things and leave and that was around 11pm. There was one like that her mum came to our house and I told her infront of her mum to leave my house, that I will leave for both she and her mum (is there anything more ridiculous and disrespect than that ?) I left her and her mum inside and went to a friend, but her mum unexpectedly was waiting for me at home, I later went back home, her mum expressed how hurt she was with my statements, this is a very rich woman and popular in ibadan, I humbled myself and plead with her, after that, it happened time without numbers yet my wife endured it, by the grace of God it's been over 3 years now that we had any serious argument, and my wife remain my best friend because after the Almighty, she's the pillar of our marriage...dear op, 2 years is too early, pls endure it, it's just a matter of time, pray and reject what u dont want in your marriage

I'm really inspired.

happney65:
Your husband is a weeree guy and he should be locked up at aro or taken to a church make them beat his weere comot..He dey vex He dey vex,He vex so tey he no buy your child food all because he dey vex..He dey vex,He comot house 12AM.If Ritualits come cut his head comot nko?
Which kain wayree man be that?small thing,comot dey go..leave my house..Am sure he grew up in a family where the father is feared and treated like a Demi god..

Divorce the murdafucccker,nothing more,nothing else

By the way,Is he also a Buharists?cos na Buharists dey reason that way..

Is this the best advice u can offer? Nonsense!!

midnighter:
Lol I don confuse... She said in the post that she and her husband both work and are comfortable. What, for goodness sake, are you writing

Guy no read post well

GogobiriLalas:
You should prove your value; most women nowadays bring nothing to the table except their kpekus; the truth is no kpekus dey sweet pass 2yrs

Wicked guy

donprinyo:
Sorry sis, dis always happens when ur partner wants to get out of an unhappy relationship. Probably, he was manipulated into marrying u. If so, its not gonna end well except divorcing him immediately.

You can do better than this

beeijeoma:
Op truly your hubby has been disrespectful to you but all marriages go through teething problems . Mindset is very important in marriage and you need to decide from the beginning if you want in or out. 2 years in marriage is still early days and you guys are trying to understand each other and establish your boundaries. Words hurt but after a while you just shrug it off . If I go down memory lane and think of some of the names my hubby has called me I would have left him a long time ago. We have been together for 10 years now and I am enjoying my marriage like mad. If you and your hubby are talking and he starts getting upset keep quiet and say nothing. The day you know he is calm and okay go and talk to him and air your grievances. . Fighting and arguing does not help issues will only escalate. My husband is always worried when he gets annoyed and I don't talk he prefers arguments but I am now an expert in keeping mute. The only thing I cannot take is beating any other thing I just ignore. Just like you are a professional and well travelled are so many other women who are dealing with marital issues. If he says leave ignore him, if he leaves ignore him. If you ask him to do something for you and he forgets ignore and do it yourself. Don't let anger rule your heart choose to apply wisdom .

God bless u dear

omonikiba:
Human beings unfold daily. Marriage is continous learning and the discovery of each other is daily.

Imagine, your hubby eat beans every other week, and then one day you cook beans and he's like 'don't we have food in this house?', and so many other funny attitudes. You can't know him in all areas during courtship. Whoever tells you you should know everything about him during courtship is not a realist.

Forget all these sweet mouth marriage seminars we attend oo. When you enter, you learn with real marriage experience.

If we know it all, no need to build after marriage. The bible says, only a wise woman build her home

The poster will learn so many things from the man and she will begin to overcome those things that triggers argument with time. And the husband too will grow older to learn to stop reacting rudely to trivial things.

The rate at which marriages break nowadays, the best advise to give any young couple is just patience patience patience not reacting back in the same gesture.

Very brilliant comment coming from a female I guess. Though am separated with my wife, I for marry you for this brilliant comment. Very intelligent I had to read over and over again. God bless u

patitobeeb:
5 times already � I don't care about the details. if you are a Muslim, by the third count it automatically means a divorce no argument

That's the reason christianity is a religion of forgiveness. I don't care about other religions who don't forgive.

olabrinks:
The man is the head of the home. The leader, the example setter and the main component that keeps the house together. Once the man fails to excel in his responsibility as the head, the foundation becomes extremely faulty and the union begins to crumble. Women submit to responsible men. A Woman cannot build a home on sand. I think some men really need some marriage counselling because most of you are so unaware and lost. And before you quote me, I am not single, miserable or bitter. Thanks in advance.

I love your comment. Am guilty of not exhibiting a lot of control in my marriage as the head, that's the reason for separation with my legally married wife currently. Am really regretting, and have been working on my verbal abusive nature while trying to appease my wife.

computergeek:
Lagos is just a disaster waiting to happen. That's one city I detest with a striking passion in this country.

The traffic alone is enough to make a person forget what their purpose in life is. Now just imagine how someone is living in the so-called island.

Glorified shit-hole

Kai you wicked o!!

''The traffic alone is enough to make a person forget what their purpose in life is''

Kingseex1:
50 yrs no be old man na

I wonder o!

Finnese001:
boss I no go lie you, the thing dey affect me personally because it makes me see every single lady as a prostitute aka hooker seriously, our girls are number one in exporting sex all over the world

Exactly, any lady I see now roaming the street with handbag, or on bikes and cabs especially during office hours dey go hook up with client. Inmessage is full of pretty ladies,graduates,and even master degree holders in this hook up thing.

lilwetdick:
There is nothing to emulate from him

He was faithful because he was on National TV, in the eye of the public..

leave the man with 20 naked girls in private, lets see if he will remember his "Queen".

Hehehehe!!!

honourablelumis:
My predictions on today Big Brother Naija finally, the first person to be evicted, Seyi, second Omashola, third Mike and last two standing Mercy and Frodd and the winner will be Frodd the slowtiger him self.. #BBNaija

Exactly my thoughts, but you know Mercy is two in one. She is one, while her big ass is another one. So she has people voting for her as Mercy, very lively and entertaining; and also has people voting for her cos of her big ass.

BlackSaints:
First thing first, get out off my mention.

See bleacher wey dey vex!!
You go soon see bleached husband like u to marry

Margy:
N.a. my fellow ladies I dey pity.. sharp sharp..only ones the guy Don give you HIV...esp if he cuums inside
Chances for the guys is slim!

Exactly

2buffagain:
When I see a girl with tattoos, all I see is a dullard who cannot think far....a fool to be bleeped stupid and later block her number when I am tired of the Bleep.
There is no possibility of wifey or family with this person.

If she wanted to have fun, she should have done so without tarnishing her long term possibilities with such a permanent decision.

No one will take her seriously.

Who go marry bleached tattoo skin sef

BlackSaints:
I don't really care if people bleach or not. My own be say, if you black pass night just they for your lane, no carry your black Monkey self come near me.

Black is beautiful my foot, how can you be so black and dirty and yet you call yourself beautiful?

Spit.

Very Dark skin is far better than that skin bleaching abeg

I sealed two openings in my home in January; the kitchen and the toilet pipe in one of the rooms, without joking, I never saw any cockroach again in my house since January. I live in Ibafo, ogun state

J111333:
So this has ruled out the notion that those dead girls weren't prostitutes.
Well, thank God for the one that survived. I wonder how ladies still follow men to hotels in ph after all those deaths.

'The dead girls weren't prostitutes' hahahah!!
Na your own Lagos be this abi?

fiercehillz:
Honestly she was the most excited to see 2baba...I won't lie. She wasn't aware he was stretching his hands and this has happened to almost everybody...if it had been another person in the house like Cindy it won't have been a big deal...this is why first impression matters a lot...
She has been tagged all sorts and I don't see the scolding stopping anytime from now...If to say na she destroy Oppo phone dat time ehhn, she for chop better strike. There are people like that in this life...she didnt make a good first impression of herself...

I know Big Brother will not give her the prize even if she gets the highest vote...they will always appeal to the conscience of Nigerians.

Bro check very well! She deliberately did not give respond to 2face's handshake. She eventually waved to him like he was not a big deal, check very well.
I think with this alone, she is likely to be evicted any moment, as it confirmed her ego and arrogance. Those voting for her are just the slay queens who have inferiority complex as she does.

The drug dealers are back. Dem go come here start yahoo plus business.

Ugee12:
Only fish-brained slayqueens bleach.....even with all their bleaching they are still uglier than CeeC and Alex. Can't these stupid girls see that black don't crack?? Hmmmm

Nigeria is now full of skin bleachers and runsgirls; these are the ones voting for Tacha. BBnaija sef Bleep up!!how come they brought a bleached skin to a show being watched all over the world. And like most runs girls, she come get complex join

All skin bleachers do have body odour, so we are not surprised

gistvicreports:
Big Brother Naija BBNaija housemate, Mike says if he survives the next eviction show, he will win BBN 2019. Gistvic Reports.

We could recall, Tacha, Seyi, Khafi and Mike are up for eviction in the ongoing Big Brother Naija 2019 show.

He said:


WOULD MIKE SURVIVE ??

Source: https://www.gistvic.com/2019/09/bbnaija-if-i-survive-this-eviction-i.html

Tacha and Seyi are on their way out with their arrogance and pride

seunmohmoh:
Diane will be the winner

Diane Ke? You did not even say Cindy, at worst case scenario!! The obvious winner is between Mercy and Mike, if u ask me.