₦airaland Forum

There are many questions coming to mind about your current situation. But my opinion is this, you’re experiencing a midlife marital crisis. You’re getting richer, which is a good thing and you are beginning to think ur wife doesn’t fit ur current status.
My advice:
For a short term solution, Keep a sidechick. But ur relationship with ur mistress shouldn’t be longer than 6 months. Then, find another for a 6 months tenure. I say this cos longterm relationship with mistress comes with many complications. The lady becomes emotional investment in you and will start seeing ur family (wife and kids) as rivals.
Also, you have to invest in your relationship with your wife. Get professional marriage counsellor(s) who can help reignite ur love for ur wife and also help her rekindle her glow. It’s true many ladies relax and stop working on themselves once they’re well settled. That’s your best bet sir. Your wife isn’t troublesome, she takes good care of your home and she’s birthed you 2 children for you. A bird at hand is worth twice in the bush. Those sidechicks won’t replace your wife. Think about this, if your enemy is sick in bed for 6 months. Will ur sidekick stay around??
God help you thru this rough part of life. I wish you the best.

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Enough of Sentiment here, the consular officers are very much aware abt the fact that there’s hardship in the land. And many Nigerians are just looking for escape route out of the country. Since 2008, 75% of Nigerians given non-immigrant visas (study and visiting) didn’t return to the country. Y’all should be blaming those for your predicament. Matured Single men without a family and a well paying job are automatically disqualify, although few guys were successful due to backroom deals (and yes, there’s backroom deals at most embassies). Married women with kids seems very lucky with visiting visas despite most of them don’t plan to return as well .
Trump got nothing to do with Nigerians applying for visas, your fellow citizens didn’t play by the rules. Also, there’s a visa quota the western countries gives to the African countries. I don’t know how the quota gets distributed across the various categories of applications but I know there’s a monthly and annual limit for visa issuances.

With what I know, learnt, and still learning abt relationship/marriage, don’t marry anyone just cos of only love. What happens when the love � goes dim and both of parties ain’t on the same page to rekindle. Several other benefits that cannot be easily replaced by third paties must be share among couples. Both parties must be irreplaceable for one another.
From ur story, I will say run cos both of you doesn’t seem compatible religiously(spirituality and beliefs). As a guy I give you an exposè, you can’t and won’t be able to convince him to exactly what you want to happen in the marriage (except you’re metaphysically endowed ).

Newsblogger:
Peks Ikeji needs to speak to someone.. He needs help... Pls bro seek help!

I agree with you.
This reminds me of Rob Kardasian.

Nigerians will always like to point figures or blame someone else for our misfortune. For how long will we continue to blame the government for our collective failures as a citizens? This is just another example of wastage, embezzlement, corruption, mismanagement etc that will continuously sabotage the possibility of having a modern society.
Shame on us all. A so called educated country that cannot build a nation.

Wake up https://www.nairaland.com/4271595/fellow-nigerian-youths-matter-serious

Chukazu:
Is China is a democracy?...and ask I what did your thiefing legislature add to your life in so called Democracy?
Maybe if ask you about Brazil , I wonder what you would ask again?

China is not democracy but it's more respected and value that your so-called democracy?

Democracy my middle finger

From Senegal to China then Brazil, and what else?
Do you know anything about the Brazilian Politics? I guess not. Please go read up abt the Brazilian politics.
As to ur Bolded comment, that will be conversation for another day.
Shalom.

Shugavee:
u were really making sense to me till u said i was single n i laughed!! Well u can go with all the assumptions in ur head its a free world!! I hv nothing to prove to you!!! Hv u had that friend that been tru alot from guys, cried to you so many times n u cant just have it from another nigga!! I guess not!! So keep up with the assumptions!!

Those words weren't part of ur previous narrative, you claimed it was a gist. But all the same, is there anything wrong abt being a single lady? I have an assumption, which means I may be right or wrong. If my guess came as an insult, I apologize. Anyway, hope ur friend can find true love. Shalom

Chukazu:
That is the peasant mindset Killing Nigeria.
You don't want to ask how they achieved the feat instead you are consoling yourself based on population difference.

Your population should be an advantage not liability...ask China

Your legislathieves are one of the highest paid in the world...ask yourself what impact that add to your life?

The truth of the matter is this, the political realities of Nigeria differs totally to the political realities of Senegal. Nigeria is the biggest Black nation on the planet, there are more foreign governments interference in our democracy. The dynamic of power sharing across various regions of the country isn't the same in Senegal.
You mentioned China, Is China a democracy? the simple answer is NO.
I also stated earlier that the member of the National Assembly are overpaid.
We Nigerians are fond of point out the symptoms of our bad democracy as the main problem of the country's democratic predicament. Corrupt National Assembly is just a symptom of our bad democratic process. The country is seriously in need of a comprehensive structural revamp. Like I said previously, true democracy only thrives in an intelligent country.

Shugavee:
Now my friend was gisting me abt a guy she just met, cool,nice n all that!! She liked the boy to the stage she started forming n collected 2k 4 tp even if he even asked her if it was enough (n no it wasnt) she said that that they kissed, that it was very romantic to the extent he kissed her at the park b4 leaving!! So i asked, are u guys officially dating?? she was confused!! N she was planning to go to his house the next weekend to cook n sex him!! i was happy she was happy n all that,, but i asked again is he ur boyfriend?? She was confused!!! So i told her to ask him whats the bases of the relationship,,,, uncle said they are still friends trying to know each other!! Really but when u met her u wanted to touch her body n all n probably hv sex if u had the chance to!! Is tht how friends kiss each other up n down!! All of u are mad!! So u just give a girl so much hope 4 nothing!!! Just 4 the fun of it?? My friend actually cried!!!

It's 2018, and the unfortunate answer is Yes. That how friends kiss each other up and down. It's obvious that the lady in question understand the scope of the friendship, she's just playing naivety to avoid being judged by you. You indirectly ruin her chance to have fun with the guy. Not surprised, I can easily deduce that you don't have a boyfriend too, so you prefer both of you to be on the "no boyfriend" situation. Kudos to you jealous friend.
Game girls play since 1815

*** Many girls don't mind to cook and have s3x with a guy without the girlfriend tag, it's always a happy and joyful moments for y'all. Unfortunately, there may be feelings of regret later especially when the two parties can't sync emotionally.

Chukazu:
Errors

The country of Senegal disbanded it legislative assembly Last year ; in the entire African countries , do you know that Senegal is the most vibrant Democracy?

One of our biggest problem as a democracy is the legislature, it's an irrelevant institution that must be scrapped

Population of Senegal: 16million
Population of Nigeria: 170million
Imagine Buhari governance without the Legislature? Hahahaha,
Go and read up again, Senegal didn't disband the Legislature. Senegal switched from a BIcameral to a Unicameral system of Legislature. If you say the Legislature is our problem of Democracy, well that's your opinion. Just so you know, Democracy only thrives in a Nation of Intelligent citizens. And mind you, Education isn't a thru reflection of intelligence. The state of our Democracy as country is just a simple reflection of our intelligence.

DMathematical:
Yes it is a good development. However this is far from our priority now as a Nation.

How has the lack of immunity stopped them from performing all this years? This is just a pat on the back. Just maybe someday it may be useful

I agree with you 100%. It is democracy, the executive will continuously have to negotiation and compromise on many issues to have it's way with the Legislature.

Chukazu:
Hope you wrote this with clear conscience not that someone is sponsoring you like "Stephanie Otobo"?

How does immunity for some crooks deepen democracy?

Believe it or not, The Legislature is the spinal column of democracy. It defends the citizens from the abuse of power by the other arms of government. It's unfortunate that many Nigerians don't pay attention to the Legislature, especially the current sitting assembly, they've rescue Nigerians from many Decree 2 style use of power in this current administration.
Example, (1) the Executive wants to confiscate account without BVN identifier despite those accounts are currently frozen by the banks. (2) The Executive wanted to use the customs to confiscate automobiles on the Nigerian roads without a valid custom paper regardless of the age of the vehicle.
Ofcourse, the members of National Assembly are being overpaid for doing their oversight functions and there are uncountable incidences of "you scratch me, I scratch your back". The truth of the matter is the Parliament has always been a house of commotion and corruption everywhere around the world.

julietromeo:
Let me start by saying thank you all for your support so far.
However, my name is Henry Nnaemeka and I’m neither a Rapist nor a Kidnapper. This is my Story.
I’m a taxify driver/ partner, on Thursday the 25th of January 2018 between the hours of 12midnight and 1am I was on my way home from work when I received a taxify rider request from a Ibarhim Eletu Way Which was coincidentally where I was at that time and also same estate I stay, I decided to take that last trip before I go home to rest.
On getting to the pick-up location To pick up the rider (Miss Shola Fapson) she got In my vehicle and just as I started the trip I noticed there wasn’t a destination for the trip so I politely asked her for the destination to know where I’m going to and if it will be convenient for me at that time of the night but she refused to tell me and instead asked me to drive out that she will tell me later, I politely refused and asked severally for the destination but she wouldn’t tell me rather she ordered me in a harsh tone to “Move this car”! On hearing this, I was surprised why she would hold back her destination from me and also ordered me to move the car. It was at this point I told her I wasn’t going anymore, I ended the trip immediately and asked her to come down from the car since we were still at the pick-up location but to my Greatest surprise she refused to come down and then started making some phone calls in Yoruba Language to some people whom I didn’t know disclosing our location to them. At this point, I got scared and was trying to be on the safe side so I drove the car to the front where the estate had a security light which was a few seconds from the pickup location. On getting to the safe place, I came down from the car and politely opened the door and gently asked her to come down from the car. She blatantly refused again and started with her phone calls again.
It was at this point I overheard her conversation on the phone saying she has my car keys and gave out location again to the unknown person at the other end of the phone, I felt really threatened at this point because I couldn’t understand why she would take my car keys and then disclose our location to people I didn’t know. I had to struggle with her to get my car keys from her hands. It was in the process of struggling with her, she sprayed a chemical substance (pepper spray) in my eyes.
I succeeded in getting my keys from her but before I could struggle with my sight and call for help she took off and was nowhere to be found. Some concerned residents and my sisters who heard me shout and call for help came to my rescue. It took me about 45 mins to regain my sight clearly and was taken to my apartment to get some rest only for me to wake up this morning and receive loads of phone calls from friends and family saying I’ve been labelled a KIDNAPPER AND RAPIST. However, the issue has been reported to Taxify and the necessary steps have been taken as shown in their press release. I want to use this medium to thank you family and friends who stood with me in this bad time and also state that I respect women and I am totally against any form of abuse against women.
Thank you all.
#ISTANDFORJUSTICE

How did the passenger got hold of the car key though?

I lost respect for this woman, thru shades to the father of your three kids? Ain't somethings in marriages meant to be secrets forever? My instinct tells me she stayed that long in the marriage cos of the continuous cashflow . I just hope the kids from this union can get over this blemish their mama put on them .

*** This post just confirmed that a large percentage of Nairalanders can't comprehend or too lazy to read thru posts.
Jesus wept.

It obvious that Ajimobi and Okorocha ain't in talking terms, if not they should have been seated next to each other.
Maybe not sha.

I thought Akwa Ibom youths are complaining of joblessness? I guess your Governor just want y'all to be sleeping and waking up in the worship center instead of contributing to the economy.
Not surprised anyway.

Please read https://www.nairaland.com/4271595/fellow-nigerian-youths-matter-serious

CallMeGrace:
Go girl,I support you.��

I call you Grace

Abeg make MB sef dey use twitter or FB with anyhow english, Nigerians go manage am over his silent treatment.

I remembered some of us were skeptic of Buhari governance ability based on his records while he was the Head of State. We asked Nigerians to be cautious, "a known enemy is better than an unknown angel", we were tagged as "enemies of Nigeria progress" and purpets of GEJ. Anyway, it said that "the grass is always looking greener from the other side". Unfortunately, history has repeated itself.

***Kai, This madam is beautiful.

Believe me, wearing the ring will always set the relationship on the right pace from day one. Which simply means the following but not limited to just those:
1. I will try to make you happy but always remember you're not my priority.
2. I won't be available all the times that you may need me.
3. Acknowledge and respect my wife, even though you don't know her.
4. Please remember pregnancy talk is not expected to come up.
5. Please don't hide anything from me, so we maintain our trust.
ETC.

*** Emancipate yourself from Mental salvery.

I don't think Freeze is doing anything wrong as he criticise the Pentecostal christianity, y'all just don't know ur religious history. Unfortunately, there's noone to blame for this ignorance other than urself. Look back into history, you will understand that Religion has always been reforming itself since day one. Read up on the Bishop called Martin Luther, he was a trained catholic bishop. Despite that, he challenged the Catholic leadership on everything that has to do the church doctrines. Today, we acknowledge his efforts on the emergence of the Protestant church. The Protestant Church is simply the root of various christian denominations we're having now. And likewise, lots of other Bishops revolted the Protestant doctrine and started their denomination of christianity.

Anglican (church of England): King James of England revolted the catholic authority on his marriage matters, he wanted to divorce and remarry (Yes, he authorised published the first English version of the Bible KJV) . So, what's the story behind the formation of your church

***Maybe Freeze is a reformist for the modern day Nigerian christian? Time will tell. Call him a Demon, Beast, agent of the devil etc. is simply a defect of ignorance.

Kitanayo:
I will start from the beginning so that i will be better understood, soo sorry if it is too long


I and my husband met in one of our ICAN classes so we hit it off immediately, became friends, dated then got married. It was blissful, we had our kids, to me life was perfect till one day he changed.

He started picking fights on irrelevant things, wouldnt talk to me for days, i thought it was just a phase until one day he didnt come back home, after so much calls to family members, friends collegues at work, we found out he left the country with another woman, this was 4 years ago, we later found out he paid for the house rent for two years and he vowed never to have anything to do with me and my kids anymore.

Even after pleadings from family members he still refused so i moved on, believing that one day he would come back to me because i believe his actions was not normal, he asked for divorce, i refused cos my bible is against it (luke 16:18). Since then God has been soo good to me, i've moved into my own home(a working mom) and God has been taking care of my kids for me.


Now 2 years ago, i met this lady who was serving(nysc), i see her as my younger sister so we talk alot, so she knows all about me, she helps me at home, with my kids and all.

One day we were talking about sex generally, so she said she can satisfy my urge, i was shocked, i dont want to go into details but that was how it started.

Mind you i do not insert anything into my "VJ", what she does is the normal licking and sucking till i "CUM" she's in a serious relationship with a man so i do not do same act to her and she doesnt ask for anything in return(from a wealthy home).I dont see myself as a lesbian since i dont indulge in it moreso i still love my husband.

I agreed to it because it's safer than having sex and contacting std in the process, i am human, i have needs and i dont want to commit adultery cos i'm still married and i believe my husband would come back to me, i feel no guilt whatsoever for this act.

Reason why i brought this here is to know your views about this act, i want to have diff. opinions from matured minds so no insults please, thank you.



Mods please help take this to FP

@bolded I don't believe that excuse, there's deeper reason to why you don't want a divorce. it just convenient for you to justify with the Bible. Anyway, There's lots of sin the Bible talked about that we still do otherwise.
@ As to ur new found adventure, enjoy it while its last. But what will happen when the lady is gone. Get urself s3x toys if you're not interested in other men.

Merceline:
I don't know. The thing is that I don't fall in love easily. Not that a guy has to go far to impress but if we don't click, then forget it. I don't date for the sake of it too, no energy for pretence and all.
I am not bothered about not being in any relationship too. Maybe because I am enjoying peace and freedom.

Are based in SW?

His problem is the wrong choice of word, from his explanation he's looking for a Surrogate mom. Which means technically anyone interested to carry the pregnancy won't be the legal parent of the child, the baby will definitely be taken from her maybe immediately after birth or after few months of breastfeeding. Fertilization can be done artificially, not necessarily thru sex.

Simplep:
Shes realy beautiful...guess its nt all about beauty anyway,all dis fair pretty ladies dat are so full of themselves thinking men should b licking their asses,so they look for bfs??...anyway she should hv written more about her other than beauty nd thickness....

You already she's beautiful mere this those corner of face picture?
Me not buying it sha. Why she no upload full picture?
I sabi as e dey go , I wish her the best sha.

RichlyOBS:
Hey guys..... It was yesterday late evening when I heard a knock on my door, I open up and surprisingly it was my ex girlfriend at the door knocking.... I asked her what she is doing here? She said she was going home but she missed the last train to her city that I should allow her spend the night till next morning.... And seriously her place is very far and she really missed the train because I no the last train to her city so I allowed her in not Knowing my neighbor the radio without no wire called my girlfriend on phone telling her my ex is around and the jealous girlfriend came quickly as soon as she heard the news, then the quarrel began... I told her everything and I thought she would understand but she insisted that my ex should leave my house that night or she will beat her up and throw her out of the house I tried to calm my girl down but she said to me!!! If I let my ex stay she's no longer interested and seriously that my ex already have a boyfriend and I can't afford to lose my girl because I love her so much and she's the only one I have, so I told my ex to leave that night...now my conscience is judging me for letting her sleep in train station that night...

Do I did the right thing or was i just stupid?? Or is it my girl is wicked? Because she wasn't going to stay that night either.

Ehenhen, may the love continue to dey hot ooo
You beta shine ur eyes, ur girlfriend is self-centered. I've always thought women are compassionate and more considerate than men