davidylan:

Sorry, no.

onyinye2:

Excuse me? Come again. . . . . .

Gucci_Babe:

so its not even to leave him even when he abuse you?  my Gawd , all you have to do is pack your bags and serve him divorce papers, I mean so you should stay in marriage even though your husband beat you?

onyinye2:

But why does he have to make the decision? That is what baffles me. We say that we are in the 21st century, yet I feel that we live like does of the Medieval Ages. If he makes all the decisions, what is the point of me then? Just to sit back and accept it?

onyinye2:

Sharrup Dia.
So what of her husband? Does his wishes and so called desires become subordinate to that of his wife?

_Queenisha:

what type of decisions are you talking about?
He doesn't choose my jobs,my clothes,how I spend my money or my friends.
I know there are women who have to hand over their paychecks to their husbands or report to him on every tiny issue ,that's not my situation.
If I wake up on Saturday morning and feel like not making and  having breakfast at home,I simply let him know that I'm driving down to the neighborhood diner with the kids and ask if he wants to come along.
But major things like the name for the kids,their schools,the home we buy, business ventures etc, we discuss it and thankfully most of the time, we have same opinions but when they differ,I  go with his.
His thoughts for our family are good thoughts and I have no problems with it.

chika98:

That's all you understood from reading that??

davidylan:

Sorry, No.

_Queenisha:

But major things like the name for the kids,their schools,the home we buy, business ventures etc, we discuss it and thankfully most of the time, we have same opinions but[b] when they differ,I  go with his.[/b]
His thoughts for our family are good thoughts and I have no problems with it.

Gucci_Babe:

abuse is a serious issue, its a big part of it

Gucci_Babe:

abuse is a serious issue,  its a big part of it

onyinye2:

Well well well. . . . . I guess I'm going to have to do some changing with that statement. Because a marriage is GIVE na TAKE. Not the wife does ALL the GIVING and the so called loving husband does all the TAKING.
Maka gini? Why would you go with his? Why not your own?

StephenP:

Goodness, did you really ask that?
Please lecture Onyinye.

davidylan:

you have plenty of growing to do. _{*shakes head*}

_Queenisha:

Omo eko, no one is perfect.
we are just mere humans with our strong and weak attributes.
Not talking about you (don't know the situation) but that's why cohabiting is very bad.
why would a woman move into a house with a man cook ,clean and sleep with him without marriage?
That's why people get their hearts broken all the time because they play wife before they're called one.

chika98:

That's all you understood from reading that??

onyinye2:

Yeah. . . . I did. I was hoping for a different answer, but I got the same selfish answer as the rest.
And you my friend, have alot of EVOLVING to do.

onyinye2:

Yeah. . . . I did. I was hoping for a different answer, but I got the same selfish answer as the rest.

tRoOE:

[size=13pt]Only a fool will fall into that trap
But we can't blame those ladies, they have this mentality that if the cook, clean and sleep with them, it might give them a ticket to the aisle
@the last sentence
True talk, lot of women have made that mistake  [/size]

_Queenisha:

Marriage is not eating dodo.

chika98:

Queenisha: Thank you very much. These people don't even understand what i am on about.

StephenP:

It not selfish but realistic. You can say all you want to say about it but in the end, we all know that many times, the woman does it the man's way, not because she's weaker but because she knows that is the best way for there to be peace.

davidylan:

eyah. Sorry o. 
Queenisha, our resident counselor, will soon knock sense into your head. Pay attention . . . people pay good money for the kind of advice she is giving.

Gucci_Babe:

 i agree with that though.  but then some people said its better to live with your man so you can know if you can tolerate him  

davidylan:

eyah. Sorry o.
Queenisha, our resident counselor, will soon knock sense into your head. Pay attention . . . people pay good money for the kind of advice she is giving.

onyinye2:

Well you must not knw, I follow the Gospel of Onyinye and she does what is best for her and her husband.

Gucci_Babe:

 yes i do understand you,   im just curious when you said when he hits you  n all,   I just needed to ask a question!

Gucci_Babe:

 i agree with that though. but then some people said its better to live with your man so you can know if you can tolerate him  

Gucci_Babe:

queenisha!  

thanks for the advice,  seems like you have to learn to be an actress to enjoy marriage  ,  it doesnt sound easy,  

onyinye2:

Seriously. . . all this marriage talk got me wondering. Cause you are lawfully stick with this one sole person for the REST of your natural born life. And like folk are over her talking about "Compromise" but it seems like the whole "compromise" thing is one sided. Like the wife has to compromise [/i]everything so that as stated [i]"there will be peace." I mean how does one keep their sanity with that. I mean Day in and Day out, you have to compromise so that your husband is happy, and your kids are happy. So what the hell am I? Cause I thought im going to be happy.

onyinye2:

Seriously. . . all this marriage talk got me wondering. Cause you are lawfully stick with this one sole person for the REST of your natural born life. And like folk are over her talking about "Compromise" but it seems like the whole "compromise" thing is one sided. Like the wife has to compromise [/i]everything so that as stated [i]"there will be peace." I mean how does one keep their sanity with that. I mean Day in and Day out, you have to compromise so that your husband is happy, and your kids are happy. So what the hell am I? Cause I thought im going to be happy.