Gucci_Babe:

see what im saying about men ;   How long would it take you to find a woman like your mum, the problems start when you start comparing., the you realized how unsatisfied you are with your partner!

No kidding . . . i dont need a woman who is a replica of my mom but i'd be lying if i didnt say i was looking out for certain traits i thot my mum has that makes her marriage as strong as it is today. Men arent just looking at your chest and face you know.

when I talk about my papa David will be the first to yell that a person should marry their parents. Yet he keeps looking for his Mama's twin

Oniranu.

you will notice i said many not all. you would be shocked that most of the women you called stay at home generations were actually working more than the men.

i grew up in my grand ma's house bought and built by her trading. she was happily married till the day she saw God. my mum traded lagos, benin onitsha ran stores and didn't do 9-5 like this so called generation of independent people.

i think this generation bought into a lie that is hurting them. check to see how many dating sites and chat rooms there are today. lonely independent people. how independent? news papers all over the world are busy raking in money from independent misguided singletons.

life is easier than most of think if you can use your brain and answer to being a human being first and foremost

Gucci_Babe:

its not about broken home, my parents are very much together. This is modern days, the type of love they show eachother is different from our new generations. In the past women depend on their husband, most of them are stay at home mums ( which there is nothing wrong with that) but this day and age things are totally different. women is as independent as the man in their lives. so its from a totally different point of view

KarmaMod:

when I talk about my papa David will be the first to yell that a person should marry their parents. Yet he keeps looking for his Mama's twin

Oniranu.

dont mind me abeg. Its not bad to look out for someone like your dad but bear in mind its harder for you to do since you're basically only considering those who approach you. (i'm assuming women dont literarily approach men here).

One can never fully understand marriage until you get into it.

Gucci_Babe:

you will want day get married.  I see many ladies desperate of finding a husband. I think when love take over your heart, you may not have a choice

Hold Up! There is ALWAYS a choice to be made.

Marriage is hard work mayne. I mean serious work. With the Grace of God, I will marry a guy with the Ego of a Dove. Cause i know otherwise, there is going to be some serious collision.

chika98:

One can never fully understand marriage until you get into it.

LOL!! I want to as much as i can, before getting married, cause after marriage as you said it hard to bail out,

Hannibal:

Are u considering the credit crunch?
Couples are pulling resources together now so they can save more.
I don't see nuthing wrong with a live-in lover.

to me there is no difference btw living together and getting married I guess, i mean same logic apart from the ceremony etc

davidylan:

Queenisha please make a clone of yourself . . . it will be much easier to marry your clone than find other women.

LOL
I have my moments too.
I can be ajakaja woman sometimes
and he knows when to drive off or keep quiet.
But fundamentally my goal  and his is to be happy and to have happy, well balanced children.
Like you I had an independent mother who worked hard ,had own money,spent it like she wanted but also a very loving and submissive wife.
From her I learnt that I could balance the two and they have been happily married now for over 35 years.
I never saw my dad lay a hand on her and I know she would cut him with a knife if he dared
My dad is a business man and his greatest confidant and advisor is mom and as fierce as he was ,we all knew my mom was the backbone of virtually all his decisions.

Gucci_Babe:

to me there is no difference between living together and getting married  I guess, i mean same logic apart from the ceremony etc

There's a huge difference.
Someone living with me is NOT YET ma wifey.
She's just warming up or undergoing a test drive.

onyinye2:

Hold Up! There is ALWAYS a choice to be made.

Marriage is hard work mayne. I mean serious work. With the Grace of God, I will marry a guy with the Ego of a Dove. Cause i know otherwise, there is going to be some serious collision.

That mentality would change in 3-4 years time.

Thanks Kiss
[b]I never appreciated Almond joy this much until she left nairaland.
all that gragra was all talk[/b].
That girl is one happily married woman
she is so respectful of her husband.
I had great admiration when she told me she left Nairaland as a birthday present for her husband.
[b][b]That is a woman who knows what marriage is all about.
Compromising to keep the marriage happy[/b][/b].

Like i always said about her she is one seriously happy lady. most people took her too seriously and didnt know she was a bendel woman first and foremost.

i could always read between the line and fell in love with her. i like women with brilliant minds. people who dont fall easily under presure are my favourites.

God blessings be on you all that are great examples to us all

Another question

  how is sex during marriage?  do you husband still look at you like he did before having a kid ( i mean when your body is tight n aall) how often do you lay down together. is it different after marriage.  when you ask for sex does he turn you down, cause maybe he knows he can get it when he wants

onyinye2:

Hold Up! There is ALWAYS a choice to be made.

Marriage is hard work mayne. I mean serious work. With the Grace of God, I will marry a guy with the Ego of a Dove. Cause i know otherwise, there is going to be some serious collision.

Sounds like a push over to me. I don't think you'd like that very much.

davidylan:

don't mind me abeg. Its not bad to look out for someone like your dad but bear in mind its harder for you to do since you're basically only considering those who approach you. (i'm assuming women don't literarily approach men here).

and it's so common that girls end up marrying men that are like their fathers  and men end up with women that have some traits as their mothers.
That's life.
and we all model the home we grew up in.

Hannibal:

That mentality would change when in 3-4 years time.

Let's hope.

Gucci_Babe:

Another question

  how is sex during marriage?  do you husband still look at you like he did before having a kid ( i mean when your body is tight n aall) how often do you lay down together. is it different after marriage.  when you ask for sex does he turn you down, cause maybe he knows he can get it when he wants

Ahhh. . . . . marriage is so difficult.

chika98:

Sounds like a push over to me. I don't think you'D like that very much.

Naw. . . . takes out all the fun of it all. I mean where is the challenge.

Onyinye say God forbid!
3 times to that prayer.
Tufiakwa
You want a man that has the ego of a dove?
don't you know that's the same ego he'll carry to the outside even at the workplace and have everyone walk all over him?
You need at tiger LOL
You need a man that is fearless.

_Queenisha:

and it's so common that girls end up marrying men that are like their fathers  and men end up with women that have some traits as their mothers.
That's life.
and we all model the home we grew up in.

True that. Even though i try so hard not to make comparisons, i still end up doing. At some point when i was younger i even wanted an igbo speaking chic!  

There is always room for compromise here and there though but the fundamental traits that i expect wont go away. I dont have much patience for 21st century "i'm an independent lady" sort of women. I'm traditional to the bones . . .

Gucci_Babe:

Another question

how is sex during marriage? do you husband still look at you like he did before having a kid ( i mean when your body is tight n aall) how often do you lay down together. is it different after marriage. when you ask for sex does he turn you down, cause maybe he knows he can get it when he wants

I'm not sure but i think the novelty wears off with time unless you both actively work at spicing things up under the sheets. Maybe Queenisha has a better idea on this.

joshjosh:

Like i always said about her she is one seriously happy lady. most people took her too seriously and didnt know she was a bendel woman first and foremost.
i could always read between the line and fell in love with her. i like women with brilliant minds. people who don't fall easily under presure are my favourites.

God blessings be on you all that are great examples to us all

That was my mistake.
Her raw expletives especially were shocking to me but it was all talk I came to know

_Queenisha:

Onyinye say God forbid!
3 times to that prayer.
Tufiakwa
You want a man that has the ego of a dove?
don't you know that's the same ego he'll carry to the outside even at the workplace and have everyone walk all over him?
You need at tiger LOL
You need a man that is fearless.

Please tell Onyinye. . . . . .Her comments are so outlandish.
She wants a mumu husband. Who prays for such?

_Queenisha:

Onyinye say God forbid!
3 times to that prayer.
Tufiakwa
You want a man that has the ego of a dove?
don't you know that's the same ego he'll carry to the outside even at the workplace and have everyone walk all over him?
You need at tiger LOL
You need a man that is fearless.

 This is even harder  then  i thought   a tiger?? what if he bullies everyone around and no one likes him esp family and friends.  so its better to have a tiger man that is really strict then a gentle easy going guy?

onyinye2:
[b][b][b]will marry a guy with the Ego of a Dove[/b][/b][/b]. Cause i know otherwise, there is going to be some serious collision.

you will be marrying a dangerous man. marraige is not that difficult. it is a beautifull institution. God meant it for good

I no go lie I did with my husband
but I didn't move in.
there are those who even live with the man without a marriage proposal.
Those are the ones I'm talking about
It's not right.

Definitely agree with you on this. Lol I think the girls who do this, do it as a way to DETER their men from cheating around. after all the dude cant bring someone else if he has his girl living there. Little do they know, if a legally married man can still cheat with his legal wife and kids under his roof, nothing is stopping one who isnt legal yet

secondly there has been business ventures he wanted to go it but I didn't feel good about them and advised him and he went with my opinion and later thanked me for the advice.

See, examples of how you really do have a good husband and not an egomaniac. Alot of husband esp Naija men would be like "After all Im the husband, I will take on any decision I wnat and after the fact I will tell the wife about it" and when shit hits the fan and the money is gone, frustration is then taken out on the wife.

anyway good job with the thread osisi.

Emmy Time!

_Queenisha:

Onyinye say God forbid!
3 times to that prayer.
Tufiakwa
You want a man that has the ego of a dove?
don't you know that's the same ego he'll carry to the outside even at the workplace and have everyone walk all over him?
You need at tiger LOL
You need a man that is fearless.

Not necessarily a guy who has and Ego of a Dove, but a guy who knows how to turn off that stupid ego. I don't want a guy who is weak, cause knowing me well. . . . . never mind.

Anyways, hey he can be fearless. But I don't want no man who feels he gotta be fearless all the time. That is just utter stupidity to me. Because they be the ones who are weak as hell. I don't want someone who has a huge ego and feels that just because he is among the male species he has some of authority over me.

joshjosh:

you will be marrying a dangerous man.  marraige is not that difficult. it is a beautifull institution. God meant it for good

The only thing about marriage that sounds remotely beautiful is the wedding ceremony. The rest is uhhhhhh. . . . .

Gucci_Babe:

Another question

  how is sex during marriage?  do you husband still look at you like he did before having a kid ( i mean when your body is tight n aall) how often do you lay down together. is it different after marriage.  when you ask for sex does he turn you down, cause maybe he knows he can get it when he wants

Excellent!
Never a dull moment
actually It's better now than when I first got married.
Personally,it took me a while to get comfortable being with a man due to my CU campus roots
I was not an "experienced" lady going into marriage
and he was a patient man.
Our sex life is a million times better today than then.
I hardly even have to ask for it.
all I need to do is send him a text message thanking him for his tigerly activities that morning and he knows he has to out do himself that night

onyinye2:

Not necessarily a guy who has and Ego of a Dove, but a guy who knows how to turn off that stupid ego. I don't want a guy who is weak, cause knowing me well. . . . . never mind.

Anyways, hey he can be fearless. But I don't want no man who feels he gotta be fearless all the time. That is just utter stupidity to me. Because they bet then who are weck as hell. I don't want someone who has a huge ego and feels that just because he is among the male species he has some of authority over me.
The only thing about marriage that sounds remotely beautiful is the wedding ceremony. The rest is uhhhhhh. . . . .

Singing cassie's " you got a long way to go"

_Queenisha:

Excellent!
Never a dull moment
actually It's better now than when I first got married.
Personally,it took me a while to get comfortable being with a man due to my CU campus roots
I was not an "experienced" lady going into marriage
and he was a patient man.
Our sex life is a million times better today than then.
I hardly even have to ask for it.
all I need to do is send him a text message thanking him for his tigerly activities that morning and he knows he has to out do himself that night

This is a shocker to me.
Few married men i spoke to told me pre-marital sex is a tad better.

Onyinye na wa for you o
perhaps if we had this conversation some years back,I'll be sounding like you too.
I had a mother who told me some hard truths and modelled it too and I'm grateful for that.

_Queenisha:

Excellent!
Never a dull moment
actually It's better now than when I first got married.
Personally,it took me a while to get comfortable being with a man due to my CU campus roots
I was not an "experienced" lady going into marriage
and he was a patient man.
Our sex life is a million times better today than then.
I hardly even have to ask for it.
all I need to do is send him a text message thanking him for his tigerly activities that morning and he knows he has to out do himself that night

na wa o. you shld teach us some tricks. I used to think it was the other way round. Better at first . . .

_Queenisha:
That was my mistake. Her raw expletives especially were shocking to me but it was all talk I came to know

all is forgiven now. i remember someone attacking me for saying she was not as bad as she comes across. she made sense most of the time but being in a forum where people can easily hate from thread to thread didnt help.

most of my sisters are her cabon copy. you will never read them right listening to them. we name some idiag , adafi and those wicked names. surprise surprise they are all married and having peaceful homes. i always loved her and wish her well. we should learn to argue without getting too personal

_Queenisha:

Excellent!
Never a dull moment
actually It's better now than when I first got married.
Personally,it took me a while to get comfortable being with a man due to my CU campus roots
I was not an "experienced" lady going into marriage
and he was a patient man.
Our sex life is a million times better today than then.
I hardly even have to ask for it.
all I need to do is send him a text message thanking him for his tigerly activities that morning and he knows he has to out do himself that night

whoa thats impressive!

Hannibal:

This is a shocker to me.
Few married men i spoke to told me pre-marital sex is a tad better.

In what way ?
maybe the risky things like sex in cars and on mountain tops.
I don't know.
Remember I'm speaking for myself from my perspective
I don't know if he'll say the same .
but from how crazy he still is about me,I think I'm right.

_Queenisha:

Excellent!
Never a dull moment
actually It's better now than when I first got married.
Personally,it took me a while to get comfortable being with a man due to my CU campus roots
I was not an "experienced" lady going into marriage
and he was a patient man.
Our sex life is a million times better today than then.
I hardly even have to ask for it.
all I need to do is send him a text message thanking him for his tigerly activities that morning and he knows he has to out do himself that night

Have you ever said No, I'm not in the mood.

stillwater:

Have you ever said No, I'm not in the mood.

good question, !