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Re: On Nigerian Women And (lack Of) Future Ambition by Empress2014(f): 8:52am On Sep 23, 2014 |
I was in 400 level when my dad started asking who my fiancee was, I politely ignore his question, after that I told my dad I wanna go for my Master's after Nysc, his reply was "ile oko e lo ti ma se masters". Situations like this won't make some ladies think straight at all, pressure from our parents is somehow frustration, some parents needs to be enlightened 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: On Nigerian Women And (lack Of) Future Ambition by Emmalot121(m): 9:00am On Sep 23, 2014 |
chamboy: most of em don't even marry for love it's mostly based on society or family pressure, Financial Gain,Family and societal pressure is not the problem,marriage is the best way of producing 'quality' children. Financial gain unfortunately is the main reason most women and some men go into marriages. |
Re: On Nigerian Women And (lack Of) Future Ambition by Nobody: 9:10am On Sep 23, 2014 |
Empress2014: I was in 400 level when my dad started asking who my fiancee was, I politely ignore his question, after that I told my dad I wanna go for my Master's after Nysc, his reply was "ile oko e lo ti ma se masters". Situations like this won't make some ladies think straight at all, pressure from our parents is somehow frustration, some parents needs to be enlightenedI dont know your family or background . the fact tht he asked fo your fiancee doesnt mean he wanted you to get married the next minute. it is just a bad omen for women not to have suitors especially in the yoruba culture. he may have said the ile oko thing because you ignored him .@ least he neevr said you shouldnt go for your masters . the thing is he might need the support of your hubby too... getting married doesnt stop you from your dreams and aspirations. its about what you want to bring to the table in your marriage. |
Re: On Nigerian Women And (lack Of) Future Ambition by kalufelix(m): 9:13am On Sep 23, 2014 |
jpphilips:I comot cap 4 you sir... The hubby or the boss ..either way a d!ck gats fund a b!tch for her services hahaha 4giv ma language |
Re: On Nigerian Women And (lack Of) Future Ambition by Mclick(m): 9:19am On Sep 23, 2014 |
safarigirl: If you're one who has stayed within the female hostel of any Nigerian University, you'll find that most of it's occupants share similar hopes and dreams- and no, it's not to excel in their chosen career paths.safarigirl enh, your head dey their, how many of them girls will read this. How many I have seen looking for money bag, they see getting married to a man as a way to escape poverty and source of constant income. In fact they dont date men with potential, vision and future, but already made, let me stop. There are still young men looking for women they can respect but, how many of them yet, will have so many of them. Safarigirl spread it. good am |
Re: On Nigerian Women And (lack Of) Future Ambition by siegfried99(m): 9:21am On Sep 23, 2014 |
CoCoLav: Well...no matter how career oriented I am, I know that raising a family will always come first. A career can come after my family. My father has always told me that a time will come when you have all you want and money will mean nothing to you. Only your family will remain and you will be blessed to have them. Wow 1 million likes.. 1 Like |
Re: On Nigerian Women And (lack Of) Future Ambition by Empress2014(f): 9:39am On Sep 23, 2014 |
majekdom2: I dont know your family or background . the fact tht he asked fo your fiancee doesnt mean he wanted you to get married the next minute. it is just a bad omen for women not to have suitors especially in the yoruba culture. he may have said the ile oko thing because you ignored him .@ least he neevr said you shouldnt go for your masters . the thing is he might need the support of your hubby too... getting married doesnt stop you from your dreams and aspirations. its about what you want to bring to the table in your marriage..I understand your point, I believe I should have atleast secure a good job before things like that comes up |
Re: On Nigerian Women And (lack Of) Future Ambition by daveP(m): 10:00am On Sep 23, 2014 |
lepasharon: Preach sister ! I'm far from what you listed. Infact ,I am not even sure I want to marry and have kids.you can alter what you perceive makes you predictable, but dont forbid yourself enjoying the partnership of a lifetime(if he understands you to d very core) |
Re: On Nigerian Women And (lack Of) Future Ambition by daveP(m): 10:09am On Sep 23, 2014 |
To be observant, Sole proprietorship works better for women who have big ambitions. Their 'men' dont have anything to panic cos she will be in control and call the shots; her own boss so to speak.(school, supermart, animal husbandry, decors, and many others) Cos there's no how she can avoid raising the kids. But suggesting you'l delay settling down is f==lish! |
Re: On Nigerian Women And (lack Of) Future Ambition by TTgirl: 10:17am On Sep 23, 2014 |
MY OPINION (I may be wrong) Women working does not mean they are aiming for the top. they are after the money and some are not eager to climb. So the OP is right, for some it is all about the money not the career just like it is all about the sperm not the man for some. Productive, educated, current, intellectually-active women make better mothers. Women who aim for the sky/heaven are better for the home. Just that there is a time for everything. A time to feed your children fresh, balanced, whole, organic food, teach them manners, etiguette and morals, be a physical pillar, feed them hugs, kisses and love, teach them combat sports and crafts, slog through millions of academic exercises with them, pray for them, fast for them, eat the Word of GOD for them, eliminate their weaknesses etc. There is a time for pamper, love and labour over your husband physically, spiritually, etc. There is always a time to be productive in many ways and combining dimensions because of extreme intelligence +motherly experience. We need strong links. Remember Ebola.Weak links are dangerous. Imagine if a country, male and female, was full of strong links. E.g. Extreme intelligence and extreme productivity. Mental and psychological limits are worse than Satan, in my opinion. Women should have no limits only priorities. Bless you all. 4 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: On Nigerian Women And (lack Of) Future Ambition by daveP(m): 10:18am On Sep 23, 2014 |
touchmeder: I don't know how some of us are interpreting what op has stated. I don't think she is saying marriage versus a successful independent woman. So let's not go picking one or the other. It is possible to have both (if you so desire). Let's not be tempted to make husband's house and kids our only goal with your numerous qualifications and business ideas sitting pretty n gathering dust. Don't get too comfortable n 4get ur dreams n aspirations u once had. Get up and do something, add value, make urself useful, make ur husband proud while you remain loyal and humble.i understand her to a fault, but there's no how when you bring up ambition in this regard, that the issue of marrigea doesnt pop its face. They are tied to each other. |
Re: On Nigerian Women And (lack Of) Future Ambition by Lero15(m): 10:28am On Sep 23, 2014 |
marriedvirgin:please, stop being silly. |
Re: On Nigerian Women And (lack Of) Future Ambition by Pdizzle(m): 10:44am On Sep 23, 2014 |
This is dope, despite your arrogant posts on nl, safarigirl I'm following you for this. |
Re: On Nigerian Women And (lack Of) Future Ambition by tochilastborn(m): 10:48am On Sep 23, 2014 |
Mondisweets: aren't you the same men who keep treating them like they belong in the kitchen onlyAMERICANS WILL FIGHT TOOTH AND NAIL TO SEE THAT NAIRA HAS THE MINIMAL VALUE,BUT IT IS NOW LEFT FOR NAIJA GOVT TO TAKE IT LYING DOWN OR GIVE THEIR CURRENCY VALUE. My dear frnd,RESPECT,VALUE AND WORTH is earned and not given. The choice to swim or drown can be made only by the drowning man. NO BE ME TALK AM O. Espeak le kwe gu,ne mu ga no ne mmuo nso |
Re: On Nigerian Women And (lack Of) Future Ambition by bukatyne(f): 10:50am On Sep 23, 2014 |
sheniqua: The OP has not said anything against marriage She said women should build a life for themselves apart from marriage. If she was against marriage, would she use Dora, NOI and co? She is saying the same thing these women would have said 2 Likes |
Re: On Nigerian Women And (lack Of) Future Ambition by bukatyne(f): 10:59am On Sep 23, 2014 |
xp17: hats off for you sire. And deep down do you wish your daughter same? A daughter you trained to be the best with your resources? 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: On Nigerian Women And (lack Of) Future Ambition by bukatyne(f): 11:09am On Sep 23, 2014 |
shymexx: This is a very deep message written here Respect is earned and not demanded. if you are a woman deserving of respect, you do not need to ask for it 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: On Nigerian Women And (lack Of) Future Ambition by bukatyne(f): 11:19am On Sep 23, 2014 |
2sExy1: She is a tomboy and I can't blame her entirely. She has a point though. How can a tailor be a housewife? Would you call women like Deola Sagoe housewives? 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: On Nigerian Women And (lack Of) Future Ambition by Guidette(f): 11:22am On Sep 23, 2014 |
A career does not define me as a woman and neither does marriage. My own advice is just do what makes you happy in life as a woman. If it is sitting all day in a mans house doing nothing all day long, then do it. If it is sitting in an office working your asss off, do it. As there are many women who would love to laze around all day, there are as many women who just love working. Just know your lane and you will be fine. Everyone has different goals in life. Women should not limit theirs because of marriage. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: On Nigerian Women And (lack Of) Future Ambition by safarigirl(f): 11:37am On Sep 23, 2014 |
tanidabi: I did not completely read this piece but I think I have a fair share of what the op is trying to say,unfortunately I completely disagree with you as this thinking rarely exists anymore,y do u think some babes will even sleep with a man to get a job if they can as well marry a rich man,yes when we were all in school we fantasised about getting married one day and having kids but the reality is the economy we leave in now makes the woman financially independent too and any woman who is still fantazing about marrying her night in shinning armour should please have a job cos woman your finances matter in the scheme of things o,infact the kind of men out there now no wan marry jobless babes o,so while you are out there dreaming plan your life,no man wants to marry a full time house wife anymore,can't even believe some people still think this waydon't even look far. Just browse through this Romance section and see all the women who are going through hell in the name of marriage and a common factor they share is that they all dumped their ambitions to be housewives. Just browse through one day. Sheniqua's myopic brain won't let her realise that marital abuse is part of the consequences of women's failure to empower themselves and so thinks they don't relate. Like I said, whether you agree or not doesn't change the fact that there are women who don't want to further themselves after school. This isn't about those I surround myself with, every female in my family works, my mother was working, going for classes while pregnant, my aunt is a single mum who works and pays her kids' fees and all bills herself so I'm proud to say I have never known laziness, hence I'm appalled by what I read on NL. You can be a mother, a wife and a career woman. |
Re: On Nigerian Women And (lack Of) Future Ambition by Nobody: 11:43am On Sep 23, 2014 |
CoCoLav: Well...no matter how career oriented I am, I know that raising a family will always come first. A career can come after my family. My father has always told me that a time will come when you have all you want and money will mean nothing to you. Only your family will remain and you will be blessed to have them. Three gbosa for you jarey 1 Like |
Re: On Nigerian Women And (lack Of) Future Ambition by Revolva(m): 11:56am On Sep 23, 2014 |
Yes I believe what the OP mean...nigerian women are way to dependant on marriage...na so one man tell him olodo daughter wey go get belle for one idiot on campus..say had it been he know he for use the money train goat and poultry..dan educating her ..we wan laf die |
Re: On Nigerian Women And (lack Of) Future Ambition by Nobody: 12:13pm On Sep 23, 2014 |
Stfu 5 Likes |
Re: On Nigerian Women And (lack Of) Future Ambition by sheniqua: 12:20pm On Sep 23, 2014 |
bukatyne: For Dora and NOI to be grandmothers in their fifties tells you they married right out of school.someone says NOI actually got married while in the university so what again is her point? |
Re: On Nigerian Women And (lack Of) Future Ambition by bukatyne(f): 12:40pm On Sep 23, 2014 |
@OP: This is a beautiful writeup to challenge ladies to be the best they can be. More ladies are forsaking that school of thought though 1 Like |
Re: On Nigerian Women And (lack Of) Future Ambition by bukatyne(f): 12:49pm On Sep 23, 2014 |
sheniqua: The problem is not marrying out of school or marrying young; we have Omotola a very typical example close to us (she married at 18) The problem is forsaking your dreams (if you have) because of marriage or seeing marriage as a means to an end. She is saying you can be a mother, wife, grandma sef and still shake your world or do something fulfilling. I think people miss it because they equate career & dreams into becoming a bank manager Our dear Seun is an entrepreneur and I doubt he has a corporate office. He doesnot have to wear a suit daily to the office either. we have people doing well in fashion, cobbling, dress making, production of stuffs, doing well in their various occupations etc. @ Grandma in fifties, I doubt the marry in school part My mum will be a grandma in her early fifties and she married out of school (But again, we both married early) 2 Likes |
Re: On Nigerian Women And (lack Of) Future Ambition by sheniqua: 12:57pm On Sep 23, 2014 |
bukatyne: Sometimes your dream may have to take a back burner or become modified when you marry It happens Marriage and kids can sometimes slow a woman's career progress It is the sacrifice we make for family And someone has to make that sacrifice I would rather it be me than my husband I dreamed of being a surgeon but I moved to the USA with hubby and there are no 24 hour house girls here I had to settle for a path that will accommodate the family life I chose. I don't regret that sacrifice one bit. Hubby on the other hand went on to acquire more degrees and specialized trainings,he works more and makes more and has achieved more and that is OK.His successes are also my success. i am the more available parent in terms of time.if the children's school called,they will be calling me and I will be there.i will be the one to do the doctor visits etc. When a woman chooses family,there are certainly sacrifices to be made and only a child or someone who chooses to be ignorant would knock that or label it a lack of ambition. Everyone is talking about NOI While she was in Nigeria serving her country ,wasn't her doctor husband in Maryland USA palpating and auscultating the nurses ? We read that in the papers.who knows,it may not have been so if she were home,just maybe. on the other hand I have a classmate that waived off marriage and attained the pinnacle of her career in England.a surgeon with her own surgery,she just got married a few years ago to a man her junior who obviously married her for papers and he got it and moved on. Certainly not whom she would have married as a younger woman. 2 Likes |
Re: On Nigerian Women And (lack Of) Future Ambition by bukatyne(f): 1:05pm On Sep 23, 2014 |
sheniqua: At one point or the other, we all have to make sacrifices.. I know men & women who slowed down at one point or the other to accommodate family needs. I doubt the OP is taking about making sacrifices here... There is a difference between I have to defer my professional exams for 2yrs because of child birth/kids/hubby will be away etc. and I am no longer doing my professional exams because I am married. @NOI: Her hubby would have cheated even if she was sleeping on him daily. It is better she achieved what she wanted to achieve not minding the bad marriage than letting her husband's antics get to her. It would be disastrous if she looked at him, forgone her dreams and the man still cheated. A woman can still achieve all she wants to with her family and a supportive husband. Infact, her supportive husband will spur her to achieve more maybe at a slower pace but definitely more fulfilling. 1 Like |
Re: On Nigerian Women And (lack Of) Future Ambition by sheniqua: 1:10pm On Sep 23, 2014 |
bukatyne: I know other women that got married and were blessed with disabled or sickly children in one shape or another Guess who had to quit their job or cut down to accommodate that situation? We can't sit and paint everyone with a brush I speak from my experiences,I know without a doubt that my career which seems to be taking off on a coaster now,would have surpassed where I am now by many miles had I been single without kids. I know what I went through trying to get through training and jobs and finding child care etc. Calling in sick at work because your child has a fever and everyone mad at you because patients had to be cancelled. But if I were to do it again,I will still choose marriage and children It is tough to work and raise small children Ask any working mother with 2,3 or 4 small kids It is a very difficult thing to do You come home exhausted but you still have to swing by a day care to pick up kids then work some more and repeat the cycle next day Those of us who did it and are doing it know it is no cake walk I had numerous times I wish I didn't work or worked part time 2 Likes |
Re: On Nigerian Women And (lack Of) Future Ambition by bukatyne(f): 1:19pm On Sep 23, 2014 |
sheniqua: This thread is not about marriage over career Infact, your story will be a good one for the OP; with your family, you are still able to get ahead in your chosen career. Funny enough, you might not have really moved further than where you are now if you were single without kids 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: On Nigerian Women And (lack Of) Future Ambition by pickabeau1: 1:22pm On Sep 23, 2014 |
i still dont get sheniquas points you are quoting what happened donkey years ago The original post was clear Women achieve something for yourself. some women nowadays are not interested in career or a biz Bukatyne also has been precise and clear NOI;s husband could still cheat if she was in the US or not Its a personal thing 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: On Nigerian Women And (lack Of) Future Ambition by sheniqua: 1:24pm On Sep 23, 2014 |
bukatyne: The thread is about so many things including that I read the original post three times and shook my head each time. Do you know why my career seems to be picking up now,my kids are no longer babies They can pretty much do everything themselves so I have less to do for them I can afford to stay at work till 7 PM and do stuff I can travel out to conferences In fact this October I will be out almost two weeks on work related stuff ( one week at a time) I can take part in career enhancing ventures out of town I couldn't do that before 1 Like 1 Share |
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