lol

jpphilips:

''Humble beginning'' in that cotext does not conote ''poverty'', it conotes a time when sacrifices were made, a time when the shock of reality overtaking dreams and aspirations was absorbed.
Akunyili was asked in an interview why she travels to Anambra with her hubby most weekends, she said she still cooks for her husband as a director of NAFDAC, s!!ly huh!!

humble beginnings dont really include trips and schooling in overseas imo. Not to mention well connected family.

Sacrifices? Maybe not having so much access to nigerian food overseas or or the other hand, enduring the harsh nigerian weather when not abroad.


All the aforementioned mean different things depending on social and economic status in nigeria.

Emmalot121: Then you must be a slave in the white man's land . It makes you in no way better than me,does it? Have this link http://www.google.com/m?q=Rockefeller+and+feminism

No. It doesn't. I aint no slave. I aint got no college degree. But im not gonna let society define me n my role in life. As a human being its my right to know how tye world work. You wanna call someone a slave?? I aint...im free to think, learn, and live indepedently of a man.
Thank u very much!

I dont know where you people meet these women without ambition.
Having a future ambition has nothing to do with wanting to be married. Part of every gals ambition should be to raise a beautiful home. That alone is a great ambition.

Safarigirl
I have followed your post for a while on nl. Does marriage give you nightmares?

3cycle:
Well lucky her...
During my service year I discovered that my calling was in the field of business.
I made big money reselling chickens I bought from a farm faraway from town. (I never knew that the returns were rewarding when you invest in poutry)

With my little ideas about raising chickens I went home to beg for little support from my dad to start a poutry farm(the land was available) but forwhere he declined. He was scared that I might make so much money and refuse to get married whereas my brother was "settled" handsomely to start his company.

Except you are a very strong woman who can't succumb to pressure, I tell you being a single career woman is a difficult thing in Nigeria.

Wit dis atitude of urs, no man wil sufer in ur hand even witout earning a dime as a wife.

perfect Mugu.
Nicely use of english!.
How I wish 70% of nija ladies adopts this life style!.
Nija could have been greater than how it was!!.

safarigirl: If you're one who has stayed within the female hostel of any Nigerian University, you'll find that most of it's occupants share similar hopes and dreams- and no, it's not to excel in their chosen career paths.

One of the lecturers in my school aptly described women as 'a waste of education'...no, it wasn't an insult, it was just stating the obvious. You find a woman who has hustled through primary, secondary and University education. One who looked set to be a force to reckon with in the world of business or law or medicine, I mean a female with straight A's and you think Nigerian women may be getting things right, only to follow her back to her hostel and hear these heart-breaking words:

"Omo, after school na to find husband marry remain."

In the real sense of the word this is translated to:

"After school, I'll fling my degee inside one iron box in my dad's storeroom, find a perfect mugu that will put a ring on my finger, buy me a car, set up a boutique/beauty saloon for me and all I have to do to get this is spread my legs for him and push out little people with his DNA"

Nigerian women view marriage the same way hustling Nigerian men view the US Green Card- an avenue to escape life's troubles. So in the same way you find 23 year old Nigerian men marrying 56 year old American women, you find young, promising women relegated to some man's priority list.

I don't think most Nigerian women realise that nobody wants to get attached to a leech. If you allow some Nigerian women, they would even want their husbands to carry the babies and birth them as well. And when you ask why they don't want to build wealth with a man, you hear:

"I've already suffered in my father's house. I don't want to continue suffering in my husband's house"

Now unless you're getting married to a no-good leech like yourself, there is no reason why building wealth with a man should be termed 'suffering'

Even on Sun Newspaper's 'Beauty Of The Week' it's the same thing.

Future Ambition: Getting Married And Having Kids

If you think God put you on this earth to make a liability of yourself, you need to think again. There is more to life than being someone's baby mama. There is a purpose for getting an education that lies beyond being able to speak good english whenever you and your man attend social functions

Nigerian women need to sit down and re-evaluate their lives. God sent you to assist a man, not to add to his problems. Men appreciate women who can think for themselves, who want to contribute to the family (and I don't mean churning out kids). There is nothing more endearing than a smart woman who views men as companions rather than money bags.


Don't waste the education your parents worked so hard to provide for you. Break the stereotype, Nigerian women should be more than gold-digging leeches. If the likes of Oby Ezekwesili, Joke Silva, NOI can be successful career women as well as wives and mothers, then we all need to dust up our certificates and CVs and have proper future ambitions.


God Bless You...and don't take this the wrong way

3cycle:
So true.
Passion alone can drive you to achieve your dreams.

3cycle, safarigirl n shoefreak....na only waka come abi?

Just wondering aloud

All those girls that study Law, Banking, Mechanical Engineering and Engineering courses, etc...

Ain't they wasting their precious time in school? I just dey ask oooo!!!

I beg to disagree with this, the wife happens to be the breadwinner in many homes in this country. A Woman cannot focus solely on becoming successful Without thinking abt marriage, owning to the fact that time is not always on their side, a man can be at the age 50 and decide to be Single, but when a lady gets to the age of 40 and still remains single, it's seen as abnormally. Aspiring to settle with a successful partner is not limited to ladies alone, a lot of guys also hope for this. A woman yearning to get married is not because she lacks future ambition, she is just time conscious. Wealth is the crown of a man, the society still respect unmarried men, but perceive unmarried women as cursed. Getting married doesn't stop a lady from achieving her ambition, she can still go for any program, write business proposals, but focusing your life solely on making money, shows a poverty of ambition. Ladies no time!!!

Good morning Nigeria.

Sanchez01: This is a powerful one. Still, I believe Nigeria is also responsible for this. The women breaking barriers in Nigeria are not mostly educated here. The system is terrible and most guys have been cursed with spreading their thin legs while one ill-luck woman who couldn't find a man take them in as a sugar son. Nothing is bad in dreaming; we all did in Secondary school and most people's dream have become a wash, something long forgoteen. Hold the society responsible.

and why is the society responsible? who by the way is the society? who makes up the society? for the society to change, who do u think must first change? jettison this shifting blame attitude else our children inherit the problems (and more) we've inherited from past generations. i know they'll surely curse us for that.

Mondisweets: lets me get this straight u hate feminism but you are in support of their ideologies "equal labour rights of all sexes, i.e. Women should be able to work like men do." Aren't you one confused cockcroach

I only said women should assist the family.If you skim through my former posts you'll find this: "Equality is not in the natural order of things, and the crusade to make everyone equal in every respect (except before the law) is certain to have disastrous consequences.—Murray Rothbard "

chidyhels: I dont know where you people meet these women without ambition.
Having a future ambition has nothing to do with wanting to be married. Part of every gals ambition should be to raise a beautiful home. That alone is a great ambition.

Safarigirl
I have followed your post for a while on nl. Does marriage give you nightmares?

God bless you. .Marriage is the best to ever happen to mankind, every other stuffs are secondary. Some people are so poor that all they have is CAREER.

safarigirl: If you're one who has stayed within the female hostel of any Nigerian University, you'll find that most of it's occupants share similar hopes and dreams- and no, it's not to excel in their chosen career paths.

One of the lecturers in my school aptly described women as 'a waste of education'...no, it wasn't an insult, it was just stating the obvious. You find a woman who has hustled through primary, secondary and University education. One who looked set to be a force to reckon with in the world of business or law or medicine, I mean a female with straight A's and you think Nigerian women may be getting things right, only to follow her back to her hostel and hear these heart-breaking words:

"Omo, after school na to find husband marry remain."

In the real sense of the word this is translated to:

"After school, I'll fling my degee inside one iron box in my dad's storeroom, find a perfect mugu that will put a ring on my finger, buy me a car, set up a boutique/beauty saloon for me and all I have to do to get this is spread my legs for him and push out little people with his DNA"

Nigerian women view marriage the same way hustling Nigerian men view the US Green Card- an avenue to escape life's troubles. So in the same way you find 23 year old Nigerian men marrying 56 year old American women, you find young, promising women relegated to some man's priority list.

I don't think most Nigerian women realise that nobody wants to get attached to a leech. If you allow some Nigerian women, they would even want their husbands to carry the babies and birth them as well. And when you ask why they don't want to build wealth with a man, you hear:

"I've already suffered in my father's house. I don't want to continue suffering in my husband's house"

Now unless you're getting married to a no-good leech like yourself, there is no reason why building wealth with a man should be termed 'suffering'

Even on Sun Newspaper's 'Beauty Of The Week' it's the same thing.

Future Ambition: Getting Married And Having Kids

If you think God put you on this earth to make a liability of yourself, you need to think again. There is more to life than being someone's baby mama. There is a purpose for getting an education that lies beyond being able to speak good english whenever you and your man attend social functions

Nigerian women need to sit down and re-evaluate their lives. God sent you to assist a man, not to add to his problems. Men appreciate women who can think for themselves, who want to contribute to the family (and I don't mean churning out kids). There is nothing more endearing than a smart woman who views men as companions rather than money bags.


Don't waste the education your parents worked so hard to provide for you. Break the stereotype, Nigerian women should be more than gold-digging leeches. If the likes of Oby Ezekwesili, Joke Silva, NOI can be successful career women as well as wives and mothers, then we all need to dust up our certificates and CVs and have proper future ambitions.


God Bless You...and don't take this the wrong way

If they like, let them take it the wrong way. All I know is, the mind set of most of these girls is very bad... What makes them different from girls that aint got no education?

That shit Marriage has Brainwashed Nigerians. Mind.. it's like their total happiness ... pfft

te author=snakebeat]I beg to disagree with this, the wife happens to be the breadwinner in many homes in this country. A Woman cannot focus solely on becoming successful Without thinking abt marriage, owning to the fact that time is not always on their side, a man can be at the age 50 and decide to be Single, but when a lady gets to the age of 40 and still remains single, it's seen as abnormally. Aspiring to settle with a successful partner is not limited to ladies alone, a lot of guys also hope for this. A woman yearning to get married is not because she lacks future ambition, she is just time conscious. Wealth is the crown of a man, the society still respect unmarried men, but perceive unmarried women as cursed. Getting married doesn't stop a lady from achieving her ambition, she can still go for any program,
write business proposals, but focusing your life solely on making money, shows a poverty of ambition. Ladies no time!!![/quote]
Let's be honest, dis is not really true. Once u get married, d society expects u to chunk all dat aspirations down ur belly and hold d home front, help ur husband succeed, and ur kids. If we r going to be factual, a woman's life ceases when she's married. You can't do all that stuff u ve always dreamed of. Its one rotten practice if u ask me. Every time I list my life goals and put husband last, u nid to see d look I get. Society, Men do not help. Its very hard to combine career and family in Nigeria.
Lets

MsNas:
Sorry if I sound harsh, but it is absolutely not my fault that anybody's family cannot afford to pay for their education. I made my point from my own perspective and I didn't expect a gazillion lines of whines trying to prove me wrong neither did I expected to be crucified for it.

If you cared to read my post well enough, I pointed out that some women have ambitions which does not end in simply living in a man's house and popping out them tatas while some want other things including that. So what's the issue here? What don't I get?

Be aware, that you as a man, have absolutely no business with whatever I chose to do with my life and future. If I like, I have ambition, if I like I don't. so stop going all self righteous on me please. Again, I apologize if my post comes off as harsh or rude, but I see no reason why you'll just go H.A.M on my post and write that long-ass whatever you call it. Laters

your post did not do any harm ... it was only misunderstood by those fellas who have got the typical nigerian mentality. I read earlier when a lady said they needed their certificates so they could help their kids with assignments. do you need a degree certificate to do that ? a high school cert is enough isnt it ... why go to the uni ? if you can assist the kids with schookl work why do some wives still settle for house/lesson teachers. you see some housewives with nannies not that this housewives have got any other job ... and they claim to take care of the home. oh come on .... he said likes of alison and dora dabbld into poitics in the latter part of their lives , I guess he didnt check well..... they were intellectuals doing well in their carees while they were in their twenties

www.nairaland.com/1898653/women-taking-lead-oil-industry

chidyhels: I dont know where you people meet these women without ambition.
Having a future ambition has nothing to do with wanting to be married. Part of every gals ambition should be to raise a beautiful home. That alone is a great ambition.

Safarigirl
I have followed your post for a while on nl. Does marriage give you nightmares?

when you read some women's post on NL .... you may have to think about marriage . I was on a thread where a woman said she would aid her hubbys death because he cheats on him .... this same man you married because you wanted a life ' ambition as you call it '. now tell me did she get married because she wanted a fulfill life or because she just wanted to benefit and add no value to her world because if she really wants to add value she wouldnt wish her hubby dead

Deehvahrzz: te author=snakebeat]I beg to disagree with this, the wife happens to be the breadwinner in many homes in this country. A Woman cannot focus solely on becoming successful Without thinking abt marriage, owning to the fact that time is not always on their side, a man can be at the age 50 and decide to be Single, but when a lady gets to the age of 40 and still remains single, it's seen as abnormally. Aspiring to settle with a successful partner is not limited to ladies alone, a lot of guys also hope for this. A woman yearning to get married is not because she lacks future ambition, she is just time conscious. Wealth is the crown of a man, the society still respect unmarried men, but perceive unmarried women as cursed. Getting married doesn't stop a lady from achieving her ambition, she can still go for any program,
write business proposals, but focusing your life solely on making money, shows a poverty of ambition. Ladies no time!!!
Let's be honest, dis is not really true. Once u get married, d society expects u to chunk all dat aspirations down ur belly and hold d home front, help ur husband succeed, and ur kids. If we r going to be factual, a woman's life ceases when she's married. You can't do all that stuff u ve always dreamed of. Its one rotten practice if u ask me. Every time I list my life goals and put husband last, u nid to see d look I get. Society, Men do not help. Its very hard to combine career and family in Nigeria.
Lets

how do you help him succeed , no your life doesn't cease .... there are people doing it. it's the thinking we have. ALWAYS FOLLOW YOUR HEART BECAUSE IT KNEW WHAT YOU WANTED FROM THE START. thats one of the ways to be successful.
www.nairaland.com/1913607/10-golden-lessons-steve-jobs

I have always been afraid of what tradition and society expects from most women. Women are seen as properties that belong to men and only few men will be genuinely happy if their wives experience more success than their husbands. This has made some women to see marriage as a trap/bondage, seeing themselves as a slave at the hands of a taskmaster.

samsolite: OP, the answer to your observation lies in this thread. How many ladies have contributed already to this discussion compared to the guys?

I've observed on this forum that the ladies take exception to such topics offering valuable advice, most especially when its from a lady; but if it were a topic about the most handsome dude on Nairaland or such trivialities you see them flock in their numbers and the thread count going to the 21st page in a day!

I just saw this thread so painful, you basically said the truth GBAM

chamboy: That shit Marriage has Brainwashed Nigerians. Mind.. it's like their total happiness ... pfft

thats why you see them spend millions on marriages claiming it is tradition after about three years , we start hearing cases of divorce ..... can't we face the reality for once... I don't think our fore fathers exhausted their savings on getting married, they still got to the very end.

safarigirl: If you're one who has stayed within the female hostel of any Nigerian University, you'll find that most of it's occupants share similar hopes and dreams- and no, it's not to excel in their chosen career paths.

One of the lecturers in my school aptly described women as 'a waste of education'...no, it wasn't an insult, it was just stating the obvious. You find a woman who has hustled through primary, secondary and University education. One who looked set to be a force to reckon with in the world of business or law or medicine, I mean a female with straight A's and you think Nigerian women may be getting things right, only to follow her back to her hostel and hear these heart-breaking words:

"Omo, after school na to find husband marry remain."

In the real sense of the word this is translated to:

"After school, I'll fling my degee inside one iron box in my dad's storeroom, find a perfect mugu that will put a ring on my finger, buy me a car, set up a boutique/beauty saloon for me and all I have to do to get this is spread my legs for him and push out little people with his DNA"

Nigerian women view marriage the same way hustling Nigerian men view the US Green Card- an avenue to escape life's troubles. So in the same way you find 23 year old Nigerian men marrying 56 year old American women, you find young, promising women relegated to some man's priority list.

I don't think most Nigerian women realise that nobody wants to get attached to a leech. If you allow some Nigerian women, they would even want their husbands to carry the babies and birth them as well. And when you ask why they don't want to build wealth with a man, you hear:

"I've already suffered in my father's house. I don't want to continue suffering in my husband's house"

Now unless you're getting married to a no-good leech like yourself, there is no reason why building wealth with a man should be termed 'suffering'

Even on Sun Newspaper's 'Beauty Of The Week' it's the same thing.

Future Ambition: Getting Married And Having Kids

If you think God put you on this earth to make a liability of yourself, you need to think again. There is more to life than being someone's baby mama. There is a purpose for getting an education that lies beyond being able to speak good english whenever you and your man attend social functions

Nigerian women need to sit down and re-evaluate their lives. God sent you to assist a man, not to add to his problems. Men appreciate women who can think for themselves, who want to contribute to the family (and I don't mean churning out kids). There is nothing more endearing than a smart woman who views men as companions rather than money bags.


Don't waste the education your parents worked so hard to provide for you. Break the stereotype, Nigerian women should be more than gold-digging leeches. If the likes of Oby Ezekwesili, Joke Silva, NOI can be successful career women as well as wives and mothers, then we all need to dust up our certificates and CVs and have proper future ambitions.


God Bless You...and don't take this the wrong way

Nice.... Well said!

jpphilips:


Her emphasis was not on your bold part, didint you read where she slammed women who after graduation, get married and settle for a Boutique buisness? does boutique not pass for being one's own boss?
No woman will like to be idle for life, the condition of most of them depict the reality on ground in Nigeria. Is raising kids not work enough? do you know how much it cost to send your kids to a creche in portharcourt where other women from questionable background do the same job the wife abandoned to make profit for a useless bank?
What if I pay her the same amount to sit at home and take care of the kids, will you consider her a liability? taking care of kids is a serious buisness, a woman who does that does not qualify as a liability in my books.
Most women who have grown kids are doing something, the OP is still a kiddo who will soon realize that kpomo no dey for suya, give her time.

My bad, just saw that part, she's wrong on that, having a boutique which functions well is actually a good alternative if she couldn't get a job, but I think it's fallacy to say "no woman will like to be idle for life" as we cannot be 100% sure.

I don't think paying a woman to take care of her children qualifies as a job, it's in a woman to naturally take care of her children, just like it is for a man, the fact that he works and provides for them doesn't mean he's exempted from every other aspect of their lives, my dad used to bathe and take us to school on his way to work on most days while mum prepared breakfast, did some chores and got ready for work.

All I'm saying is, even while taking care of the kids, a woman can find time to develop herself, sitting down at home to take care of the kids like many would say, is not entirely a good idea, the kids will go off to school, what would she be doing then?

The OP may have gotten it wrong in some parts but I still maintain that, there are women who can't be bothered and that's where I have a problem.

I dnt know what op is talking about cos. most women I know work, infact dis days a lot of women are breadwinners so madam get your facts right

chidyhels: I dont know where you people meet these women without ambition.
Having a future ambition has nothing to do with wanting to be married. Part of every gals ambition should be to raise a beautiful home. That alone is a great ambition.

Safarigirl
I have followed your post for a while on nl. Does marriage give you nightmares?

She is a tomboy and I can't blame her entirely. She has a point though.

I would say that my academic inkling was born when I frequented a friend's house. His mother would say : "hey 2sexy, no time for play, junior wants to do his homework, he is reading etc" I had to start emulating him and learnt to read and write because of that. Of course Junior was way ahead of me academically at that time and he often outdo do us during quiz. Thanks to his mother, who was housewife and a tailor.

majekdom2: thats why you see them spend millions on marriages claiming it is tradition after about three years , we start hearing cases of divorce ..... can't we face the reality for once... I don't think our for fathers exhausted their savings on getting married, they still got to the very end.

most of em don't even marry for love it's mostly based on society or family pressure, Financial Gain,

shymexx:

Lmao...I just dropped a little neutron bomb in there - you've the button to the nukes.

That's why I honestly don't take women seriously when they play the blame game. You can't expect someone who sees you as a mere appendage to respect, especially when you have absolutely nothing to offer - and he's your claim to fame. To deserve respect, you've to earn it, and that comes with the territory and what you bring to the table. Hence I always remind most women that I know that it's a woman's world, but most women are too emotional and illogical, to understand the game. The society puts a lot of responsibilities on men - but if women can think like men, be driven and start aiming higher, that will tilt the balance of power. And men would have no choice but to respect you. However, when you sit your fat ars.es there - fighting men and demanding respect when you are non-achievers - then that's problematic. Nobody respects a pest and a mere appendage.

Safarigirl is like one in a million. And I think that's because she reads a lot, tries to understand what she reads and applies it to real life situations, and she's tom-boyish (she thinks like a guy). Definitely a different breed from the norm.

Bruv, I just vet them - and with my cognitive skills, I see through people easily. And once I see you have nothing to offer, apart from making noise everywhere, ya ti.ts, batty, and pum - I just throw the heffa in a garbage can. No time for time wasters. Too hot to be around cold mofos.

I tell ya!! Check the life expectancy for men, it's much lower than that of women, because a man toils all his life to please his family, till the day he drops dead. Life is too short to put up with a pest who can't bring some form of positivity into your life.

Safarigirl sounds like a lesbian or Asexual to me, I'm confused. One minute I see her speaking of her disinterest in men & the other I see her creating threads with pics of oiled men with muscle I think she's smart but somewhat bipolar.

Nigerians don't like to hear the Truth, Op I support u 100%......

I did not completely read this piece but I think I have a fair share of what the op is trying to say,unfortunately I completely disagree with you as this thinking rarely exists anymore,y do u think some babes will even sleep with a man to get a job if they can as well marry a rich man,yes when we were all in school we fantasised about getting married one day and having kids but the reality is the economy we leave in now makes the woman financially independent too and any woman who is still fantazing about marrying her night in shinning armour should please have a job cos woman your finances matter in the scheme of things o,infact the kind of men out there now no wan marry jobless babes o,so while you are out there dreaming plan your life,no man wants to marry a full time house wife anymore,can't even believe some people still think this way

chamboy: That shit Marriage has Brainwashed Nigerians. Mind.. it's like their total happiness ... pfft

brainwash!!! You must be kidding.

majekdom2: how do you help him succeed , no your life doesn't cease .... there are people doing it. it's the thinking we have. ALWAYS FOLLOW YOUR HEART BECAUSE IT KNEW WHAT YOU WANTED FROM THE START. thats one of the ways to be successful.
www.nairaland.com/1913607/10-golden-lessons-steve-jobs

Am just writing what d world expects from u. From d pereiective of a young female graduate. All I hear theses days r "its ur turn to yet married ooo." "When r u bringing our fiance" "Dont u know u r a lady"... God knows aw tired I am of these. I told my dad as soon as I submitted my project that I wasn't getting married soon and I ve things I ve to get done.He understood quite well but everyoda aproko family members including for with no stake whatever in my education feel d need to give me d Nigerian word of advice. "Ile obirin kin pe su". They expect you as a lady to put your certificate under your bed and be d woman behind d successful man. God forbid you aspiring to be the best u ve always bin spurred to be. And outshine your husbands. You ve to pick the kids from school, cook for them, ve dinner ready for d man and d bed cool so u can put it on fire after His dinner. Time and time again, I wonder why they bothered putting me through the rigors and stress of OAU. I remember one ex boyfriend telling me he couldn't cope cuz I was too independently driven.